"She's really ill. Can either give her a blood transfusion or wait it out. If we wait she probably won't survive"

Tears roll down my eyes. I hold back my sob,"Whatever will help her."

"Okay. I'll tell the doc." My husband tells him and he instantly starts the process.
"Are you scared?" I ask and kiss him softly as he leans over to me.

"A little, baby." He hugs Sebby close,his 6-year-old son from his previous marriage."I'm scared to lose her," I say and play with Jace's hair,my 11-year-old son from an abusive relationship.

"She'll be okay." He takes a picture of her for Sebby. Just in case she does not survive. My stepson was obsessed in making albums and wanted to make on with his siblings.
I try to smile confidently. "Can I hold her one last time?" I ask looking at the doctor who had told me I couldn't carry her because of all the tubes and wires around her.

The doctor nods ."smile,baby" My husband takes a picture of me lifting her up from the cot.
I place her in my arms while Jace slept on my lap my 2 babies together at once. Alex looks at me I could see the pain in her eyes,but she had a smile on her beautiful face even with the tube running along her nose allowing her to breath. I felt like I was holding my daughter for the last time. But I hoped its wasn't my last. Daughter wouldn't leave me...not just yet. I cuddle her closer to me her small body against me making me feel in heaven. I never thought I would have a child again after Jace but look here in my arms was Alex,My Alexandra.

My husband smiles softly as he captures the sight on the camera for Sebby "Ella can Sebby hold her?" He asks knowing how reluctant i was to let anyone carry her when she was born a premature.I nod.

"Can Jace too?" He asks I nod again knowing it could be the last time.I let Sebby sit beside me and Jace. He takes a picture Sebby smiling happily his hand far past his shoulders.

I pass Alex to Sebby,"Be careful" I say and hum Alex's favourite nursery rhyme.

He nods and holds her carefully moving his hair from his face as he looks at her, his eyes sparking as he makes a teary smile.

I kiss Sebby's forehead as Jace sits up and hugs me crying.I hear a click. I can see my husband cry at the sight of us, taking a photo regardless.
I start to break down into tears, my walls tumbling down,I bring Alex back in my arms and hold her in front of me. Her hands fall on my cheeks as if to tell me that she would be okay.

"she knows that she'll be okay" My husband smiles through his tears as if to read my mind.
I nod trying not to give up when Jace asks to hold his sister.

Jace had spend most of this childhood in foster care as I had him young and was too poor to support him. I got him back after I got married. I slowly hand Alex to him,he smiles a teary smile, Tears rolling down his cheeks. He was small but he knows what was wrong. He cuddles her close for what seems like the last time and gives her to my husband who passes me the camera.

"I'm not gonna let you leave Alex," he whispers to her.I smile at their moment and click a picture. I smile as I glance through the many candid pictures he had taken.
"It's Sebbys camera" he whispers quietly "Brought it special for him today. I'll get the nice ones developed properly for you baby" He hands Sebby an empty photo album with a cartoon stick figure smiling happily saying my new family "got it made special" He cries harder.

I start to sob at the album,Alex stared confused by all of this starts crying,her face scrunches up. I try to calm her down but she knew something was wrong.
My husband walks out of the room,he felt pain that he had felt numerous times before

"Josh!" I scream."Come back" I needed him.

"It's okay mama. He doesn't wanna lose another baby" says Sebby his eyes red.

"I know Sebby,I don't want to either," i say and kiss his forehead.Jace was quiet through this all,he was a quiet and keeps to himself kid.

He curls up on the bed,both my sons on my lap and my seriously ill Two month old baby in my arms. The doctor came to take Alex. I hold her closer to me.Sebby and Jace wrap their hands around me.

I hug Sebby and Jace back,knowing was time to let go....for now. I kiss her forehead and hold her close before the doctors take her away. I can hear her screams and cries as they look her away. My heart breaks into a million pieces. She was going to come back to her mama.
Sebby starts to cry loudly. I carry Sebby in my arms,"shh!! Baby,Mama is here," I coo in tears trying to stay strong and the man who was supposed to be here is nowhere.

Jace hugs me crying. Sebby cuddles into the crook of my neck and starts sobbing harder. Losing my only daughter would break my heart. Her small hands,beautiful face the little frekles on her cheeks and dimples on the side of her face when she smiled. Oh her smile the smile that lit up my world. Her small hands wrapped around my finger.

Her cries filling my ears making me want her back so badly,I would take all the cries,screams and dirty diapers just to have her back in my arms. I wish I could go beside her.

Her cries soon die down they must have given her anaesthesia. I just hope she comes back to me.

I love her so much and I want to cry and cry,wanting the comfort of my husband. I want her back.....

--------the end-------------------