It was just a regular day in the Jentz household. Jody and Sasori were in my pottery room, Deidara and Sam were setting off C4s in my backyard. Kisame was swimming in my pool. Hidan was cleaning the blood out of his bedroom from his latest sacrifice, per my 'recommendation'. Kakuzu was figuring out how much my house cost. Tobi and Alex were laying on the floor, coloring. Zetsu was out back, trying to protect my garden from Sam and Deidara. Itachi was reading the fifth book of Harry Potter. Gai was running around the border of my property a thousand times. Kakashi was sitting with Itachi, reading fifty shades of grey. And Tsunade, Konan, Jiraiya, Pein, and I were sitting on my couch, watching Criminal Minds.

"Wait, so that maniac chopped a girl up and made her into soup, then fed her to the search party looking for her?" Jiraiya asked.

"That's right," I nodded, smirking.

"That's horrible," Tsunade muttered. "Just plain inhuman."

"It wasn't a bad plan though," I said thoughtfully. "Even if it could have been alot better."

I noticed them all staring at me incredulously.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"We've been here three days, and you still scare me sometimes," Jiraiya said.

"Hey, I'm just saying he could have pulled that off a lot better," I shrugged. "Seriously though. If I were to go off and murder a bunch of people, no one would find out it was me."

"You have the mind of the Akatsuki," Pein said, smirking at me.

"Why thank you. Who's up for another...." I trailed off as someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around...

"I want to play a game," Jigsaw said as Michael Meyers stood behind him, holding a large kitchen knife in the stabbing position.

"SHIT FUCK NO!" I shrieked, high railing it out of there as fast as humanly possible. "KIIIIISAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

He was in the middle of getting out of the pool when I got there, but I tackled him and we both fell in.

"Woah, woah, what's wrong babe?" He asked worriedly. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

I couldn't even blush when he called me babe.

"Jigsaw....." I gasped. "Game.... Michael Meyers...... Don't wanna!"

"You're scared of playing a game of jigsaw puzzles with Michael Meyers? Wait, who's Michael Meyers?" He demanded, his eyes narrowing.

"Now's not the time to play jealous!" I yelled. But then I heard it......

Laughter......

"Fuck! Did you see her face?!" Hidan laughed, limp Michael Meyers mask in his hand and fake knife in the other, as he, Deidara, and the other nin appeared in the doorway of the pool room, all laughing.

"S-she was terrified!" Deidara said, gasping for breath as he laughed and held the Jigsaw mask to the side, one hand on his knee.

I have the both of them my best Deathcore Glare.

"You little shits," I said in a dangerously calm voice as I hoisted myself up out of the water. The killing intent was pooling off of me.

No pun intended.

They both stopped laughing and stared at me in shock, paling ever so slightly.

"It was just a fucking joke...." Hidan said weakly.

"No harm done, right, un?" Deidara asked nervously as he took a step back.

"Kisame, can I borrow Sahaemada for a second?" I asked, very calmly as I shook the water from my hair.

"Babe, what're you going to do?" Kisame asked as he got out and stood beside me.

"Don't you worry," I said, smiling in a sickly sweet fashion. "They won't die. They'll come pretty damn close, but they won't die."

"I suppose if he'll let you," Kisame said, handing me his beautiful shark sword, which purred.

"What the hell man?!" Deidara and Hidan shouted.

"Hey, better you guys than me," he shrugged. They ran off and the others parted for me.

"GET BACK HERE YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE SHITS AND FACE ME LIKE MEN!"

"HELL NO(,UN)!"