I see you.
   I see you going through some things.
    Your Facebook posts are cringy. They're almost laughable. I'm not being mean, I mean, you are a not as bad off as you make it sound. Does it seem like the world is crashing? Like every wall is crumbling around you? Does it feel really as hopeless as you portrayed it?
   You're still young idiot!
    Do you feel like you need counseling?
   Oh.... You are going to counseling.
   Are you dealing with abandonment issues? Who has abandoned you?
   You.
Who am I talking too?
   Am I talking to you?
   Maybe. Maybe I am.
   I see a person, who is dealing with some normal issues and making big epic struggles out of them.  Maybe, I'm being insensitive.
I don't encourage the behavior of media spouting about undiagnosed mental illness. I don't think you're ADHD is acting up because you have an overactive mind that isn't in an environment that gather your attention. You know well anything like the tv does.
   Telling you my thoughts and opinions don't help at all. The real stuff isn't the type of shit you listen to, currently. You want to hear the cake and roses versions these idiots are telling who sympathized with you. The real shit, is just too blunt for your delicate little fucking ears.
    Watching one of my own, being this way, is off putting. I mean, you're none of these things you post. None of them.
    You're not sad and depressed.
    You're not abandoned.
    You're not lost and alone.
    You're not a bad parent.
    You're not clinically insane or have any of those real needs for medi-fucking-cation. You're not chemically imbalanced.
    I want to be mad at you. I really want to be.
   I cannot be mad. Not even a little.
   I'm not sure what you are, man. I really ain't! 
   I'm good at giving the advice, you never wanted to hear. So fucking good, man.
    So fucking good that I've been eliminated from the top of the list of people you go to for justification... ya. Justification! I don't tell you what your other friends tell you, man! I'm not that kind of friend.
    Fucking good advice is fuckin depressing.
   I get it. I'm nearly 45 right now, and I hate to listen to good advice. Anybody else feel that way?
   But mother fucker, I don't go around looking for good advice no more. I feel like I have made enough bad choices in life that I can finally be the wise man, you used to talk to. All my mysterious ways of wisdom, have all been learned through pain. True agony.
   I know emotion very well, my friend, and let me give you some words that you will never hear!
   I've known you for some time now. I've read the quirks. The stories of your past. The downfalls to rock bottom from the pinnacles of the heavens. I've seen enough of your firsts, to become very attached to you.
   From my point of view, and I'm coming from love, respect, and encouragement, even if it sounds very mean.  Let it become meaningful.
   I'm angry that you are attention seeking.
   I think you're fuckin better than that.
   You let one issue, overflow into so many aspects of yourself.
  "Everybody hates me." Or "if you don't really want to hang out with me, there's no need for us to talk anymore." These posts are terrible!
   Why air these feelings to the world man?
   Why would you want to let your ex know you're having it rough? Why would you want to let sad people chime in and encourage these emotions.
   You may think they're helping you through some shit or that they fucking care.
   You don't see it.
   I do.
   These people are preying on you. They're like fucking vampires just sucking what good they can from you. They're every bit as sad as you and they're so upfront about what they're going through that somehow, you feel as though you don't have it so bad.
Miserable people invade your misery with their misery and dump their emotions to pump you up and before you know it, you're even more devastated when they're gone. Leaving you feeling even more empty.
     Truthfully, I may be wrong on any level. But... I'm still right.
      You have your own power!
     You have your own strengths and weaknesses! Nobody is has full stats! Play to your own strengths.
    No man is an island.
    Shit!
    But every man, has his own.
   Figure that one out.
   Why be dictated by the thoughts and opinions of people who don't even know you. Your true self.
    I know you want better things in life.
   Why don't you want to earn them?
    When you ask me what do I think? And you never take the hard advice, and then you post up some bullshit again about how fucking shitty your life is, I go right back to the band, suicidal tendencies!
    Mother fucker, you gotta kill captain stupid.
    You have the same problem most people fucking have dude. Self-Esteem.
  I'm gonna tell you something nobody had the balls to tell you.
    You have bad self-esteem.
   It's true man. 
    We all fucking struggle with it.
    I'm too fat. I'm too old. My tattoos aren't as hot as they used to be. I have grey hair. I have skin tags here and there. I have some growing moles. And stretch marks. I'm mean. I Come off sarcastically very often! I don't have a lot of friends. I don't have a lot of things.
   Fuck man! The older I fuckin get the more shit I have to be self-conscious about.
   I've never been married. I've never bought a house or a brand new car or truck. I don't own land. I owe the fuckin government a shit ton of money and anything that I have right now isn't even mine. Even the phone I write this shit on isn't mine.
   I make payments on it and therefore, anything you think I own can be taken away from me cause it's owned by someone I make these payments to.
   Nobody helps me make these payments.
   Should I feel like I have no money, or that things are hopeless? Should anybody on the inter web feel like they need to bail me out?
    Kill Captain Stupid
    If you're life fucking sucks, then you suck man.
    Self esteem isn't fucking free. And, you cannot buy it. You can't.
    We have to work for it. Work vigilantly. Selfish acts. And I'm not talking about frivolous material shit, although an ATV never made anyone too sad.
   But real work. Selfish work.
   Start with little shit. Easy stuff.
   Maybe matching socks and good hygiene.
    Clean something disgustingly dirty.
    Dust some stuff when nobody is watching. Maybe someone will notice.
   Really work on things like integrity.  This is what we do when nobody is watching. How we are when it didn't even matter.
   We all have it on some level. Make your level higher.
   Work out. Do something health conscious. If you're not hurting yourself physically, somethings hurting you emotionally. Don't overload yourself with this exercise shit, meatheads, are shit people too sometimes.
   You're gonna go to some doctor who's gonna get you all hemmed up in medicine you don't need because you think the problem is so much more than what I'm talking about.
   Maybe I'm venting.
   Maybe I'm not.
   You want to know something is wrong. It would explain so much about why you're so needy. So invasive a person that you cling onto good things and drag on them until they shake you off and leave you wondering why they couldn't go on with you anymore.
   It's not you. You need help.
    Maybe you do. Maybe a doctor will tell you things in a way that you can hear them. In a way that you'll listen to good advice.  Even if you did, would that be something everyone of those quarter/friends in your social media circle needs to know?   They can tell you till they're blue in the face.
   Truth is, if it sounds like a lot to do, there's got to be an easier way. Well there is not.
   You have to get up. Take responsibility for the only person who matters. Get it together man.
    Pull yourself together and duct tape that shit up and sew it all up with some bailing wire buddy. Nobody is gonna do your work for you and if you don't work hard now for tomorrow...
   Well, I guess I'll be reading your shit posts tomorrow as well.
   You're so much more than this weak fuck you paint to the world.
   I truly know you.
   Most of my life, my own unhappiness was due to a lack of effort. Maybe you understand. Maybe you look back on your life, and you can see it differently now. I know if I'm honest, with myself, I know I can admit it.
I have plenty of moments in my life where I was just like you. Listening to some of the most manly shit advice I couldn't find anywhere else and this was before the fucking interwebs man. Men that I would get advice from gave a few kinds of advice, I'm sure it was free advice to them at some point. Jajaja
Mostly experience that makes a dude even want to waste air, giving free advice, nobody wants to hear.
Might as well be talking Revelations on a soap box somewhere on a street corner near you.
Let me tone it down a bit. Some of you snowflakes—-)-> some of you—-)-> just might have quit reading this shit by now. ...
It's a chore to do. It really is man. Happiness is an inside job. You have to work on the most internal stuff. Yourself.
Be selfish.
At least with yourself for a set period of time.
Work on yourself. A healthy mind follows a healthy body. Learn to love the things that you hate about hard work and turn that hatred to something that hates you.
Intake matters.
Not just your food. But also your mind. Feed your mind.
A lazy mind finds it's way to that 'poor you' shit that's working so well for you. I know it's mean, but people remember the mean shit all the time.
Yet the good stuff is always present when we focus on the negatives.
If you really are tired of being a shit person, good. Everyone knows at least one shit person and that's one too fucking man. For anyone. You know what I'm saying?
I don't need a counselor to tell me I'm pissed, or depressed or fucking worse—> diagnose me with some fuckin mental ailments where they get to lab rat my ass until they get it right! 🤣 fuck man, just look around you and see all the good shit you have to be grateful for.
Our kids depend on us to help them be rad adults. Good people. Great neighbors. That's all got to start internally.
Whom, am I speaking too?
Or is it, "And to whom, am I speaking?"
For sure though and for real, there are plenty of things in life that can bring any one of our asses down man.
My gratitude list is long and heavy dude. I didn't get it over night. It took a lot of persistence, patience, and sacrifice and these are my own integral values. I had to set some reachable expectations and overtime some that I thought would never be achieved.
People come and go and come back again. The next time you see them, they should see you differently.
Enjoy the little shit man. That's where it's at. The best things in life are free. Long board that new pavement. Feel the wind blow your kayak across the currents. An ice cold one right after work. Long drives on cold days. Long rides in the wind perhaps. Maybe your fucking thing is hookers and cocaine... well maybe you might just be calling those little things. Jajajaja just find some.
We'll always be close.
Whatever that means to you today, may be something different later. Who knows.
If you think I was talking to you, maybe I was.
For real though, I know you know that you're fucking better than you give yourself credit for man. Be good to you. You're the only fuck who knows, you gotta take care of yourself, before you can take care of anything else.
KMT 6-11-19