Warning: will discuss a dead family member, violence.

______

Y/n laid on Emily's bed, her arm over her eyes as Emily got dressed into her Christmas green dress. "I'm sorry" Emily said, as she looked at the girl who exhaled a little, things have been very rocky since the Gilbert sisters return "I know"

The silence ate at the two, Y/n didn't move. So Emily spoke first. If Emily didn't they both would be sitting in silence until Sue came and collected them.

"Are we going to talk about it?" Emily piped up, as she sat on her bed legs crossed as Y/n sat up, shaking her head. "No." Emily sighed softly at Y/n's response, she hadn't wanted to talk about what happened when she left, or their rocky relationship right now. Emily knows Y/n like the back of her hands, she would know her anywhere. But it's clear that Emily doesn't see the sliver of hatred for Ben Y/n feels.

Y/n and Emily can be very jealous people when it came to protecting the one they love. "Please talk to me Birdy you know I'm sorry" Emily said tugging on one of her curls of wavey hair.

"I know" Y/n said, Emily opened her mouth to talk, But They turned towards the door, when a knock rang out. Sue was standing on the other side. Y/n hopped up and walked towards her sister.

≪ ◦ ❖ ◦ ≫

THE DOOR BELL RANG, EMILY WALKED OVER TO IT. She opened the door, Mr. Conkey was the first to arrive. He handed her his gloves, coat, and hat "how are you Mr Conkey?" She asked "very good, very good. It's my first Christmas since my wife died." Emily didn't think he would start giving her his whole life story, she quickly glanced at Y/n, who was helping Sue with the tree "both my daughters are married now, so..I'm all alone" he said giving Emily a smile, but pain was written in his words.

Emily took a moment to process this man's life story "well, we're happy to see you. Go into the parlour. Help yourself to some spiced wine." She gestured to the parlour as The Humphrys walked in "oh the Humphrys are here" Jane looked at the girl skeptically "why are you being so nice?" She asked, immediately handed Emily her coat, gloves, hat like she was a rack. Y/n immediately rushed to her aid. "Jane it's Christmas, it's lovely to see you, Mr. And Mrs. Humphrey." Emily addressed the parents. Y/n took some of the coats from Emily before finding somewhere to place them. "This is our friend from Concord, Louisa Alcott." Jane introduced the woman next to her. A blonde haired women. Who was short, plumb women, holding her stuff in her hands.

"Louisa May Alcott." She said, Louisa pulled her gloves off by her teeth as her hands were full, she handed them off to Lavinia who joined to help. "It's nice to meet you" Emily said as she shook the girls hand. "I'm Y/n Gilbert" the girl next to Emily introduced herself. "Louisa's a published writer" Jane told the two as a matter of factly. Emily and Y/n both look impressed but it soon turned when Louisa said it was all about the money.

She made it very clear and Emily just wanted the conversation to end, Y/n was quick to also agree when they would talk about it later. The women in front of them only cared about the money, which made Emily and Y/n's hearts clench, when Emily couldn't publish a single Poem and Y/n couldn't publish a single song without consequence. Mr Dickinson found out about the song Emily publish under her name and Y/n got the repercussions because she is enabling Emily's bad habits, she will take that whole ordeal to her grave. Emily never found out she made Maggie promise, Who had walked in to see the girl crying on the floor. A total mess. Maggie sat next to her just cradling the girl in her arms as she cried. 'it's okay' Maggie had told her, maggie held her for as long as she could, because there was no doubt Maggie would be call and she was called. She had to reluctantly leave the girl, she got Sue quickly who comforted her sister, and fixed up the small cut in her cheek from the glass that was thrown.

"Y/n" Emily pulled her out of her memories, she was walking around talking to her family members and Y/n sat on the couch, a drink in her hand. She stared at the liquid that swirled around in her cup as she twirled it lightly "hm" she replied her gaze focused on the cup.

"Do you need anything love?" Emily asked quietly

"Sue" The songwriter responded in one word. That was all Emily needed to rush to get the other Gilbert sister. Emily weaved past people and snatched the eldest gilbert sister away from her family "Sorry need to borrow her for a moment" Sue frowed a little as Emily pulled her arm towards the living room. The two stopped in front of Y/n who didn't look up, she looked lost, a distance look in her eyes, she isn't here. Emily hasn't seen her like this before "Help her" Emily said and dropping her hand from Sue to kneel beside her lover.

"Hey Sweetie" Sue whispered "you okay?" as she placed the back of her hand on Y/n's forehead.

Y/n didn't reply she blinked, seeming to be back in the present. she tilted her head back and drunk the champanine in one swing. She gestured for another "How many have you had?" Emily asked taking the glass and holding it out of her reach.

"Four i think" she looked confused as she tired to remember. "Oh i'm gonna go talk to people" She jumped up and made a bee line for Emily's Aunt and Lavinia "Shit" Emily muttered as she stood up and raced straight after Y/n who reached for another glass.

"Noo" she dragged out the 'o's as she grabbed the glass out of her hand and turned to hand it if you Sue.

"You don't get anymore until Dinner" Emily said as Y/n started a conversation with Emily's Aunt and small pout on her lips but it disappears when Emily's hands lightly brush against hers. She not that drunk where she isn't aware of anything that happens but she drunk enough that her emotions are not in check. Emily stayed by her side much to Y/n dismay, because it meant her drinks were monitored.

She sighed a little before going to walk off to see Sue, as Emily talked to her sister and Aunt.

"Sue she won't give me any drinks" Y/n complained trying to grab a drink from the drink table, she nearly reached it but Emily swiftly took it from her hands, handed it to one of the guests before making her way upstairs to talk to her mother.

Y/n gestured frantically to Emily and then looked at Sue. Who didn't disagree with Emily, Sue placed a hand on her sister shoulder "just wait until dinner" Sue said softly, before walking away. Y/n stood there akwardly before sitting back down. She watched everyone as they talked, and laughed, everyone looked happy, the air was warm. It was happy, cozy, and something Y/n didn't know she missed since her parents died and then her sister. Everything missed laughing with her older sister and poking fun at her.

So Y/n made her disision in that moment. She watched upstairs into Emily's room, grabbing her coat and walking downstairs, she stopped in the doorway for a moment, spotting Emily back downstairs and laughing with Sue, Jane, Ben, Austin and Lavinia. She continued her walk outside, opening the door and walking out into the slightly snowy ground.

She walked down the white covered ground, towards the graveyard, where her sister was buried.

Mary Elizabeth Gilbert
Sister, Friend, Daughter

Written into the stone, it wasn't a big stone as they were poor, and couldn't afford a big stone, Y/n slowly approached the stone and sat next to it. Leaning her forehead against the side of the grave. The tomb stone scratched against her skin. "I'm sorry" she whispered, that was it, she was sorry she wasn't there in time, she was sorry she didn't help. She was so sorry. She would have switch places if she could, she would have begged Death to take her and leave Mary, things would have been simpler.

"Seems like I've been, ready for you to come home, for so long but I didn't think to ask you where you'd gone?, why'd you go?" She sang slowly. Before pressing a kiss to the head of tomb. It's true in her mind she still was waiting for her sister to come home. Most days she found herself staring at the door, wait for her to walk through the door, most days she found herself take the same trail back to her house. Most days she found herself looking for Mary in a crowd. It was stupid she knows that. On Mary's birthday she always takes her roses, and her latest song.

Y/n sat by it, just staring at her name. Not ready or able to talk, because she knows no one will respond, no matter how many times she talks to the tomb, the body in the ground is dead, no soul, or thoughts, or anything.

She sometimes felt someone next to her but other then that, she was alone. Sue never went to visit, she couldn't, without bawling into tears. She had talked to the stone once, but she didn't hear an answer and it broke her heart. But she might as well start singing to her. Mary had always been her number one supporter in her singing dream.

"Oh I wrote a new song" Y/n scrambled to get the paper our of her coat, "I figured you want to hear it first before I give it to Emily" Y/n spoke as she unfolded the paper and looked at the letter.

She sang the chorus. The cold wind blew threw her hair and send a chill down her body. Once she finished she took the song placed it in her pocket. Smiled at her sister before leaving to continue being in the family get together.

When she entered the house, Sue approached her, the eldest Gilbert sister quickly fust over her, brushing the snow from her outfit and hair. "Where's em?" Y/n asked grabbing Sue's wrists and moving them away from her hair.

"Out running with Louisa May Alcott" Sue responded going back to her fussing about.

"Gosh Y/n you're so cold!" Sue immediately rushed her sister towards the fire. Making her sit there until Emily returned, she to fussed over Y/n's absence from the past, which cause Y/n to sigh annoyed.

"I was visiting Mary" she said, both Emily and Sue stopped pestering her with Questions.

"Oh Birdy" Emily gently pulled Y/n into a hug, Y/n rested her cheek on Emily's shoulder.

"I think that maybe sometimes she might come back, I now it's a foolish dream." Y/n mutters, Emily tightens her arms around Y/n's waist. But she didn't say anything, it's not what she wants, Emily can't always have a comforting thing to say. Sometimes that isn't what someone needs.

The two girls knew Y/n was still grieving. So Y/n stuck by Emily's side their hands slightly touching, until Y/n felt better.

___________

Hey guys, sorry it took so long, I have some family problems at the moment but I'm back and I will write when I can.

I love you all. Eat, drink and have a wonderful day/night.