I'm officially happy

I'm so happy

I bet you have no idea why

But at the same time, I'm upset

I think people think I'm really dumb.

I heard my classmates talk behind my back.

I head one of them say "Oh Valerie...", as if I didn't know what I was doing was stupid. I knew what I was doing.

They probably thought that I'm fucking lost or something

They got to get treats from my PE teacher because they did better than everyone else, obviously.

I went to our PE teacher to get extra credit

Sometimes I wonder why I even try

I'm starting to think that people are making fun of the way I draw ears

Which are HUGE

Well sorta

I mean yes

I feel my blood rushing everywhere and I feel like my clothes are tight and hot

I'm starting to feel self-conscious about the way I draw ears

Idk

And hair

I just can't get both of them right

I want to kahoot kashoot myself rn haha

I'm also starting to believe that people use me

A boy from my math class just pranked me into thinking someone was out the door since I usually open the door for people coming in

And I effin knew I didn't heard a knock but no

I'm dumb
Like people really do think I am

God I hate myself

I also feel like I'm eventually going to delete everything from this account because idk. I left the Trolls fandom and the Trolls fandom sorta left me.

I really am lonely now

And I especially hate it when people think I'm really not lonely because I am

I hate it

I'm sorry

I bet people are only going to care now that I feel like leaving. It all just seems useless and I'm never getting anywhere

I'm probably gonna leave or delete Wattpad

I'm not sure

I'm still active on Instagram though

That's the only place that makes me feel appreciated or noticed. I'm not saying no one likes or appreciates me from here but idk

I'm just so inactive and anything I do here doesn't matter.

Nothing I say matters.

No one will ever believe that I matter to them for as long as we live.

I just change and people change as well.

When I change, people start distancing themselves away from me.

Even my only friends from school are starting to leave.

One of them left for good since they couldn't handle the stress she's been going through.

One of them probably doesn't ever trust me for giving her a wrong answer by mistake after she trusted me. She asked me for help and I tried my best but then she asked someone else and I heard them talking about how I was wrong.

And my other friend is just generally distancing themselves away from me.

I'm really lonely.

I still hate having people talk behind my back and use me for their entertainment.

For the past week, my classmates laughed at me for my stupidity and ignorance.

I'm not trying to be sexist or anything but I feel like male friends are better for me. I miss my old friends from my old school and I know you guys know that.

I'm starting to feel like I won't ever trust anyone to ever look at me and say "I trust you."

I feel like today was the day I needed to finally realize that I'm stupid and dumb and incapable

Anyway, cya guys