The first time I woke up after a long time.
I was expecting that I'd be greeted with the bright light from the ceiling, at kasama doon ay ang nakakabinging katahimikan. Tanging ang makina lang ang ingay na maririnig sa paligid.
But what greeted me instead was Doctor Miranda, along with other nurses around Finn.

They were trying to revive Finn.

"Get ready for CPR!" sigaw ni Doctor Miranda. Rinig ko ang makina ni Finn, ang tinig na nangangahulugang wala nang pulsong mararamdaman mula sa kaniya.
Ramdam ko ang pagkabog ng puso ko, at halos sinabuyan ako ng malamig na tubig nang napagtanto ko ang nangyayari.

"N-nurse? Si Finn? Anong—" I wasn't able to continue what I wanted to say when my voice cracked.

Mabuti na lamang ay may nakarinig sa akin na nurse, kaya dali-dali niya akong pinuntahan at saka pinakalma.
But how can I calm down when the man I love is on the brink of death?
I tried to get up to at least get a glimpse of Finn, but the nurse stopped me.

"Please, I need to see him," halos nagmamakaawa kong sabi sa kaniya.

Pero hindi pa rin ako pinakinggan ng nurse at pilit pa ring pinapakalma.
And when I was about to go histerical, ramdam kong may matalim na bagay na dumikit sa akin, at ang tanging naalala ko lang pagkatapos ay ang pagdilim ng paligid kasabay ng pag-cpr nila kay Finn.

"Ma'am?"

I opened my eyes, and what greeted me was the white ceiling and the defeaning silence.
Napatingin ako sa paligid, at nakita ko si Nurse Roy, ang nurse na nag-aalaga sa akin.
May pag-alala sa kaniyang mga mata, at base sa kilos niya, mino-monitor niya yung makina ko.

"Si Finn?" I uttered. Ramdam ko bigla ang pagbilis ng puso ko dahil sa napanaginipan.

Sa lahat ng pwedeng panaginipan, yung araw pa talaga kung saang nakita kong nare-revive pa nila si Finn.

"Natutulog po si sir Finn, ma'am," sagot naman ni nurse Roy sa akin.
Napatingin ako sa gilid ko at nakita ko si Finn na nakahiga, habang sa tabi niya naman ay ang kakambal niya.
I didn't know Finn had a twin.
Buong akala ko'y nag-iisang anak lang siya, kaya nang nakita ko ang kakambal niya nang araw na iyon ay nagulat ako.
Pagkakita ko pa lang sa kaniya nang araw na 'yon, I can indeed immediately say that they wereidentical twins, because they looked so much alike.
Napansin niya sigurong nakatingin ako sa kaniya, kaya ay napatingin siya bigla sa direksyon ko.
At nang nagtagpo ang mga mata namin ay agad siyang ngumiti sa akin.

If I remember correctly, his name is... Flynn.
I gave him a small smile before looking away.
They have the exact same face, but their personalities are not the same at all.

Finn is the typical introvert, the one who is quiet but gets loud when he's comfortable with someone.
His twin, on the other hand, is kind of extroverted based on what I have seen in him so far.
Madali lang sa kaniya makipag-usap sa iba at mukhang close na nga sila ni Nurse Bia, ang nurse na nag-aalaga kay Finn, dahil minsan nakikita ko na silang nag-uusap at nagtatawanan.
He would also make a few attempts to talk to me, pero maikli lang ang mga sinasagot ko sa kaniya dahil hindi pa ako komportable sa presensya niya, lalo na't minsan nakakalimhtan kong hindi pala siya si Finn.

"How are you feeling, Finn?" I asked and held his hand. Nakaupo ako ngayon sa tabi ni Finn, habang sa kabilang side naman ay ang kambal niyang si Flynn.
Nagpatulong ako kay Nurse Bia sa pagpunta sa higaan ni Finn para kahit papaano ay mahawakan ko man lang siya at makausap ng maayos.
Afterall, si Finn naman ngayon ang halos hindi makagalaw sa higaan niya. And while I feel better and have enough strength, I used it to the best that I can to look after him.

"Just fine, Rev. I can manage the pain," he said and gave me an assuring smile.

Kahit sinasabi niya 'yan, alam kong mayroon pa ring sakit at pinipilit niya lang kayanin, at ipakitang ayos lang siya para sa amin.

"You're taking your meds on time, right?"

A few days after Finn met his family and talked with Eloise, Doctor Miranda prescribed us a medicine that can possibly help us get better, at mayroon din silang dine-develop na liquid medicine para tuluyang mawala ang sakit naming dalawa.
But based on Doctor Miranda, there's still a low probability of it being successful, kaya hindi na rin ako umaasa na maaabutan pa namin ang gamot na iyon.
Pero if, and only if, we ever do, I'd give it to him.
I want him to experience life again, to enjoy it to the fullest.
That's something he never did in the past before he found out about his illness.
That's why I want to give him that chance, even though it's only a glimmer of chances.

"Yes, love. Nurse Bia made sure I took my meds on time," sagot niya naman sa akin at saka hinawakan at hinimas na rin ang kamay kong nakahawak sa isa niyang kamay.

"Baka nakalimutan nyong nandito pa ako ha?" pabirong sabi ni Flynn when he saw Finn being affectionate with me.

Napatawa naman si Finn habang ako naman ay nahihiyang ngumiti.

"Finn, why don't you tell me more about the two of you?" sabi ni Flynn sa kaniya at saka ngumisi.

Sa ilang araw na siya yung nagbabantay kay Finn, wala itong ibang ginawa kung 'di magtanong tungkol sa amin ni Finn.
How the two of us met, paano kami naging close, paano kami nagtagpo muli, at kung paano ako minahal ni Finn.
Flynn's the only one who keeps asking about the two of us, because only Flynn knows that we're in a relationship.
Hindi pa alam ng mama at papa nila na may relasyon kami ni Finn.
He wanted to tell them days ago, pero ako na nagsabi na huwag muna at hintayin muna namin ang tamang panahon.
Ayoko rin kasing biglain ang mga magulang niya.
He was against it at first, pero wala na siyang nagawa kung 'di sundin ang gusto kom
That's why in the end, he introduced me as his dear friend rather than as his girlfriend.

"Hindi ka ba napapagod, Flynn? Palagi ka na lang nagpapakwento eh," natatawang tanong ni Finn sa kaniya.

Ngumisi naman si Flynn at saka umiling.
"Of course not. I don't have a girlfriend yet, so I'm curious how that works."

As much as I wanted to tell Finn sometimes that I feel uncomfortable whenever his twin asks about the two of us, hindi ko pa rin ito magawa dahil nakita ko kung gaano sia nasisiyahan habang kinukwento ang mga nangyari sa aming dalawa.

"Oh!" biglang bulalas ni Flynn at saka tumingin sa akin.

"I'm curious. What's your first impression on my brother?"
Mahina naman siyang sinapak sa balikat ni Finn pagkatapos niyang itanong iyon.

"Ang kulit mo talaga, Flynn. Cut it out already," ngumingiting sabi ni Finn at saka umiling.

Pero alam kong kahit ganoon, gusto niya rin malaman kung ano first impression ko sa kaniya.
Mahina naman akong napatawa at saka umiling.

"Hmm, I guess... rude?"
pabiro kong sabi.

Nanlaki naman ang mata ni Finn namg narinig niya ang sinabi ko, habang si Flynn naman ay napatawa. Napahawak pa talaga siya sa tyan niya habang tumatawa.

"I mean, if I'm being honest, mukhang snob siya noon. He was moody and didn't smile much in the past. And also, he didn't speak a lot,"
mahaba kong lintaya sa kaniya habang nakatingin kay Finn.

"I am not even surprised. Ang tahimik kasi nitong si Finn!"
natatawang sabi ni Flynn sabay turo sa kapatid niyang nakayuko.

"But,"
I squeezed his hand, which made him look at me,
"After knowing him for a while, I learned that he's a good man, and has a kind heart. That's why I loved him more,"
I said sweetly and smiled.

Nakita ko namang namula ang tainga ni Finn nang narinig niya ang sinabi ko, which made me smile even more.
Flynn, on the other hand, whistled as he clapped his hands.

"Well, that's my brother," he said, sounding quite impressed.

He mouthed something, but I understood what he said without even making a sound just by reading his lips.
'I love you so much.'
I mouthed, 'I love you too,' which made him smile even more.
And while enjoying this moment, I saw Flynn from my peripheral vision slightly getting serious.
Magtatanong pa sana ako kung anong meron nang biglang nagsalita si Nurse Roy.

"Ma'am, kailangan na po nating bumalik sa higaan mo," sabi ni Nurse Roy.

Medyo nalungkot naman ako nang narinig ko ang sinabi niya, but then I have no choice because I know it's for me.

"Balik ka na," Finn softly uttered and gave me a soft smile.

Kahit ayoko pa sana, tumango na lang ako at saka ngumiti pabalik.
I let go of his hand, and he let go of mine.
As Nurse Roy was about to hold my hand to guide me, Flynn suddenly appeared by his side.

"Ako na po," he offered.

Tiningnan naman ako ni Nurse Roy, kaya tinanguan ko na lang siya at tinanggap ang kamay ni Flynn na nakalahad sa akin.
Naglakad na kami papunta sa higaan ko, at nang nakarating na kami ay pinaupo niya muna ako sa kama.

"Thank you, Flynn,"
pagpapasalamat ko sa kaniya.

I was about to let go of his hand when I felt his hand squeezed mine.
"I hope I can know you more, Reverie," sabi niya at saka ngumisi.
What?

Akmang magsasalita ako nang dinugtungan niya ito,

"I want to get to know you more, for my brother."

And after that, he squeezed my hand one last time before letting go of my hand, and returned to Finn's side.