Chapter 56: Group Therapy
Kirishima's POV
"What was the idea you had?" I ask Uraraka after close to an hour of sitting and waiting.
She sniffles and pulls a leather bound notebook from her bag. "I found this when I was packing up her stuff from camp. I couldn't figure out what it was, but now I think it's some sort of journal." She flips through a couple pages. "It's weird though, she doesn't really write anything in it. Not like you would expect at least."
She turns the book around so Bakugo and I can see. On every page, there's a list of seemingly random words, a lot in English, but some in Japanese. On some pages, there are short paragraphs, but Uraraka flips by too quickly for me to read anything. Every now and then, I see my name as well as others.
"They're songs," she explains. "It's like she makes a playlist for every day. I guess based on how she's feeling. Or she has someone's name and a song she associates with them I guess."
She closes the book and clutches it to her chest. "I pulled up some of the ones that she associates with me. I didn't know if she could recognize me or not, so I thought maybe they could jog her memory. I guess it wouldn't have helped anyway."
I sit quietly, mulling over what she said. "Are the songs any good?" I ask quietly.
A tear falls from her eye and she quickly wipes it away, nodding. "I just wish I didn't know what she thinks of me now. How could it be that bad? I don't know what I did!"
I can see her breaking down, but I don't know how to stop it when the same thing is happening to me.
"Both of you are fuckin' idiots," Bakugo snaps. "She keeps all that hidden for a reason."
"What do you mean?" I ask, wiping my nose. He scowls and stands up, then walks away, leaving us with our thoughts.
Does she really hide that all the time? It must be exhausting. So why? Is it to spare our feelings? Is she...too scared to tell me any of this?
•°•°•°•
After a while, Bakugo had come back with a cup of tea and sat in the corner of the room, scrolling through his phone and ignoring us. But I didn't miss the way his face was still missing color and his hands barely shook. He was trying to pretend to be fine, but whatever he saw when he ran off must've shocked him.
Mr. Aizawa came back and said that everything was fixed and that we should go home. Of course, Uraraka and I protested, but it's understandable that after her reaction from seeing us, she wouldn't want us to be around for a while. Even if what we saw was blown out of the water, she was surely embarrassed.
And so, I walk back to the train station with Uraraka and Bakugo on either side of me. None of us speak, but we have a silent agreement that we're doing the right thing by leaving her alone.
Right?
•°•°•°•
I get the message from Aizawa a few days later that Class 1-A has to come to the school for a group therapy session. Of course the attack was traumatic, but I don't know how I feel about going through therapy with my classmates. Although, I might get to see Koto finally, which lifts my spirits.
I haven't had any contact with her, so I have no clue how she's been. I've actually been talking about it with Uraraka and she surprisingly hasn't heard anything either except that Koto hasn't been accepting visitors other than her uncle.
That's another thing I've had to think about since I found out. It's pretty hard to believe that she's related to one of our teachers. And with our English teacher as her uncle, in addition to her being from America, I bet she's been top of the class in that subject.
But the fact that she didn't tell me? That still confuses me. It's obvious that she didn't want me to know, but why? Because I scare her?
The memory of her in that hospital room has been playing on repeat in my head, constantly filling me with the urge to cry. But I have to stay strong. Ma told me that I have no clue what she's been going through and she was probably just embarrassed for me to see her like that. I want to believe her, but I don't know how to. I just need to talk to her and make sure everything's okay before I let myself spiral, but I don't want to push her. And she's not reaching out.
I head to the school, wearing casual clothes, which feels very odd, but I guess they want us to be comfortable. This isn't gonna be pleasant if they're throwing the dress code out the window.
We're not even meeting in our classroom. I have to search around the eighth floor for a while before I find the conference room we were told to go to. Of course, when I hear my classmates' loud voices and some screams from my angry friend from down the hallway, I know I've found the right place.
When I enter the room, Hound Dog, the school's guidance counselor, is trying to break up a group of students with Aizawa's help. I'm not surprised to find Bakugo in the middle of it all. Our teacher's capture weapon secures my friend as well as Aoyama who has sparkling tears running down his face.
How does he do that?
"Pourquoi est-ce que vous êtes fâché?" He cries out, though I can't understand what he's saying. Shoji puts a hand on his shoulder as the cloth from our teacher's scarf falls away.
"Next time, don't try to dump glitter on me, you French prick!" Bakugo screams, teeth bared.
"But your essence requires a bit of shimmer!"
"Your essence is going to shimmer when I remove you from existence!"
The French boy gasps and hides behind Shoji as Aizawa leads Bakugo over to a corner to stand with Hound Dog. I follow tentatively and keep just far enough away that I'm not in his personal space.
"Hey man, you doin' alright?" I ask, only getting a scowl and huff of air in response. "I guess that's sorta a stupid question, but that's what we're here for."
He shoves his hands in his pockets and looks away. Hound dog puts a large paw on his shoulder and turns him back around to face me.
"This pup's barking your way 'cause he can see your tail's between your legs. The least you can do is give him a pawper response."
He sighs, his eyes sharp as he grinds his teeth. "You said it yourself, Shitty Hair, that's what we're here for," he grumbles and the counselor pats him on the head. His lips curl into a sneer as he shrugs him off, but he soon blinks away his anger, looking at something behind me. I notice his eyebrows raising just barely as the wall I'm so used to seeing glazes over his eyes, hiding his emotions from me.
I'm about to turn around when a voice from the other end of the room calls out, "alright!" I turn to see a woman in her late thirties standing on a small raised platform with two younger looking adults flanking her. Her brown hair is pulled back into a harsh bun, but her red tinted lips smile sweetly out at us. "Now that everybody's here, we can get started! Can you all gather around here, so I can speak at a normal volume? I don't want to lose my voice today, no thank you."
She's...interesting. Is this who they brought in to work with us?
"You can just call me JJ, I'll be leading our session today with the help of my two senior interns, Stella and Akira," she gestures to the young man and woman beside her. They give us friendly smiles and waves.
"So, concerning the events of the attack at the training camp and the Kamino Ward incident after, it's understandable for everyone to be on edge, but that's why we're here. I work in hero therapy, providing support for heroes where they might not otherwise get any. The life of a hero is tough and especially for those at the top, being close to others for emotional support could put them in danger. But of course you all realized these risks when you signed up for this career path. Where this attack is concerned, you not only experienced many things that could be traumatic, but you experienced them together. In the hero world, you'll never truly be alone so long as there are other heroes out there for you to lean on. A hero's job is to save people and that includes each other. You may all be here with different motivations, but at the end of the day, you're all doing the same thing which is taking care of others."
The young woman, Stella, takes a step forward. "We might not understand exactly what happened, but you're surrounded by people who do. Even if you don't want to tell us, you can feel safe with your peers."
JJ looks around and I find her eyes settling on the boy next to me. "You there, please come up here." Bakugo walks up and stands on the platform next to the woman, head bowed slightly and hands in pockets. "As I understand, you were at the center of the attack and ended up taken hostage by the League of Villains?"
The boy gives a grunt and inclines his head ever so slightly in a nod, not looking at her.
"Who would you say you feel closest with in this class?" She asks, looking out over the group of students.
Bakugo's jaw sets as he doesn't answer the question. She turns back to him with a cheery smile and even from here, I can see my friend getting agitated, but there's something in the way his breaths are coming out in a steady stream that keeps me from interrupting whatever she's about to do. His intensity is enough to keep me silent. He hasn't been the same ever since he got back, so I don't want to make anything worse.
"No preference? Would anyone like to volunteer, or should I just choose?" She looks back at us and I'm about to raise my hand to save my classmates, when she points to someone in the very back. "You, back there, would you join us up here?"
Feet shuffle as we turn to look at where she's pointing. My breath hitches when I see my friend.
When did she get here?
Koto looks up at her with her wide blue eyes, rubbed red and raw, much like her nose. It's clear she's been crying. Her curly hair is pulled up into a knot with many frizzy strands falling out.
The whole class seems to hold our breath as she silently nods and begins walking for the podium. Her steps are slow and wobbly and I notice her face looks more gaunt, skin paler and cheeks more sunken. Her entire form is skinnier than I've ever seen it.
When's the last time she's eaten? I can't help but think. Or been outside?
Time seems to move agonizingly slowly as she trudges up to stand next to JJ and Bakugo, unsteady on her own two feet. My blonde friend studies her for a moment, then looks away, jaw clenching as she stares down at her shoes.
"Right," JJ says, her smile a bit more forced as she can definitely sense the tension in the room. Her two interns whisper to each other for a moment from where they're standing. "So, from what I've heard, this is a tight knit group of students, but even so, it may be hard to share your emotions with someone. This isn't as much of a trust exercise as it's saying that you're here for your classmates and fellow heroes should they need you. What I'm going to have you all do is go around in a circle and give everyone a hug, starting with you two. You seem to be the ones who most need it. You might find solace in that fact."
She glances between Bakugo and Koto with a hopefully pleading smile, but I can see the moment it falls apart. It's not when Koto stays put or when JJ gestures for them to go ahead. It's the way Koto's body begins to shake the moment Bakugo puts his arms around her and pulls her into him. Her shoulders hunch over and I can practically hear her shuttering breath from here.
Bakugo's eyes that squeezed shut from the moment he reached out to her now widen as all of her weight slips away from him. Her hip makes a loud thwack as it hits the wooden floor.
She looks off with distant eyes, too similar to what we saw in the hospital, as she convulses with sobs, curled up on the ground.
Bakugo stands from where he was crouched over her, trying to catch her. I notice the color drained from his face as he pushes past all of us and out the door. Aizawa hurries after him and I'm left stuck between my two best friends that I don't know how to help.
I might've physically saved Bakugo and that, in turn, "fixed" Koto, but how do I save someone who's hurt beyond that?
------Author's Note------
Hey guys!
We have more awesome fan art!
This is an amazing drawing of Koto by the-observer-13!! It looks awesome! The expression on her face is so realistic. Not to mention the detail in her hands, wow!
I hope you're all doing well! Thanks for your continuous support of this story so far, I really appreciate it!
Happy Thanksgiving!
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