Chapter 4: New School and New Friends

It felt like the moment I got out of a hole, I fell back in. My thoughts were going around and around, but I forced myself to stay positive. I couldn't let myself fall apart. Not when I had just gotten myself back together. But I was wrestling a feather pillow with no stitching, grabbing feathers out of the air and shoving them back in, only to push more out the other side. 

I dropped to the ground and let myself cry. Mic handed me the tissue box from my bedside table, then walked out of the room and came back 30 minutes later with pizza, ice cream, a laptop, and three movies. He had gone to the store and bought Disney movies for me. 

Though with Grandma gone, that whole collection is mine now, I thought to myself, which made me cry even more inconsolably. I don't want it! I've only known it as hers! How can it possibly be mine?!?

We sat on the bed and watched The Lion King, Frozen, and Cars while stuffing our faces. He let me eat most of the food though. He claimed to have already eaten, but I knew better. He was just much too stubborn to eat a fourth slice of pizza. 

I woke up the next morning, tucked in, with all our scraps of food gone. Well at least he's responsible. Even if he does own this Playboy mansion. 

I got up and took a long shower before getting dressed and finishing unpacking the last of my clothes. 

"Hey, Koto! Are you ready to go shopping today or are you not feeling it?!?" He shouted as he walked down the hall to my room. I opened the door and nodded. I needed to do something. In my head, I was still grieving heavily. How could I not be? But I guess I didn't have a home back in the US anymore. My home was here. I had to accept that as my reality. I drearily continued living through the week, gliding around as a ghost of my old self. 

When the weekend came around, we woke up to my other boxes of stuff being delivered. There were some that I recognized, but I didn't know we had sent. 

"What are the Disney boxes doing here?" I signed to Mic. 

He sighed and started heaving them inside. I helped, but I was very weak and could only lift the light ones. "Your grandmother told me to send them as well. She was trying to put on a brave face for you, but she knew she wouldn't have much time left. These were left to you in her will, so she just had me send them with the rest of your stuff. I hope that's okay."

I wiped the tears out of my eyes and signed, "thank you."

On Sunday, I had finished unpacking my last box of electronics I'd been tinkering on, so I started looking through the Disney boxes and placing them in the proper order in the corner of my room. Tucked down the side of Disney VHS Box 1, there was a wrapped present with a note stuck to it. I opened it to see Grandma's writing. 

"Dear Koto,

There was one more thing that we had passed down that you didn't know about. I feel a bit selfish now, having kept it away from you. There were so many good memories we missed out on just because I kept it to myself. It's an iPod nano that my great-grandmother had. While her daughter collected the Disney movies I know you love, she collected the music she loved that came out when she was growing up. They teach you about the 1970's and 80's in school, but you might not have been taught about the music. In my opinion, it was some of the best to ever be made. And every song she loved is on here as well as some of Grandma's odd finds that she added later. I hope you love listening to it as much as I do. I worry that the poor thing is getting worn out, though. Maybe you could transfer the music to a more reliable device. I know you're good with technology. 

I want to remind you that I love you so much. I know Grandma and Great-Grandma are watching over you right now as well as your parents. By the time you read this, I probably will have joined them. But don't worry, I will never really leave you. This is my way of saying that. You will always have a part of your family with you even if we aren't physically there. 

I love you,

Grandma

P.S. there should be something else in there that belongs to you now."

I tore the delicate paper back to see a plastic bag with an odd device in it as well as some cords. I took the so-called "iPod" out and examined it. It had a cubic inch screen with a few buttons on one side, a clip on the back, and an old-school jack for headphones. One of the cords belonged to a set of earphones that I figured would fit. Another was attached to a charging dock with a similar plug on one end and a USB on the other. How did they ever deal with this many cords? I thought to myself as I untangled the blob. There were a few blocky things in there as well. One appeared to be a small speaker. A few others were wall adapters from USB to the American plug and from the American plug to the Japanese plug. 

At the very bottom, there was a silk sachet. Upon opening it, I saw a silver chain bunched up. I reached in and pulled it out. As it unraveled, I saw my mother's engagement ring strung through the long necklace. The diamond glinted in the evening light, streaming through the window. I couldn't help but to break down into tears. I walked over to my bed and placed the chain around a post on the headboard. I couldn't bring myself to wear it just yet. I wanted to be worth her love when I put it on. 

That was when I promised myself I would be a hero for Mom, Dad and Grandma--all the people I couldn't protect. I would train to better myself so I could save lives instead of ending them. With that and my heavy guilt, I requested that Mic help me train. 

The first day of school came too soon. Mic gave me a hug as I left the house and started my walk to my new middle school. I fidgeted with my new necklace as I walked. It was a black choker that covered the scar for the most part. If it shifted, a bit of the red scar could be seen, but I could pass that off as the fabric itching my neck. Mic had also signed me up for therapy, as to be expected, so I didn't argue. He asked if I wanted to sign up for anything else here. After a while of thinking, I signed up for ballet. It had been a while since I had been at an actual dance studio, but I was sure I remembered enough. 

"Yamada, welcome!" My teacher said as I walked through the door. My teachers back home seemed so done with everyone. Were all the teachers here going to be this peppy? I sure hoped not. 

"This is our new student, Koto Yamada," she continued and glanced down at her desk. "It says you just moved here from the US. Whereabouts did you live?" 

The whole class turned their eyes to me as I shakily raised my hands and signed something. The teacher's expression dropped and I knew she didn't understand. 

"She doesn't speak!" Yelled some girl from the back. 

"Yes, I gathered that for myself, thank you," she snapped back.

"No no, that's what she just signed," the girl attested. I looked around for my savior and my eyes landed on a petite girl with jet black, long hair and glasses who sat in the last row. I sighed with relief, noticing there was an empty seat next to her. 

"Oh, right," the teacher looked at the floor, embarrassed to be corrected by a student. "Yamada, please take your seat." 

I rushed to the back and put my bag down. I met eyes with the girl next to me and signed "thank you."

"You're welcome," she signed back with a smile. 

Later at lunch, the girl invited me to sit with her and her other friend. This girl was tiny compared to both of us and had short brown hair that framed her face perfectly. 

The girl I had met in class introduced herself. "My name is Reina Fujino."

I remembered my manners and bowed then as the other girl introduced herself. "And I'm Ochaco Uraraka!" She closed her eyes as she smiled. "It's really nice to meet you!" She said, bowing back to me. "So Reina said that you didn't speak, so you use sign language?" I keep my head down and nod. "That's so cool!!!" She shrieked. "I've always wanted to learn sign language and now I have a reason to! I bet with you and Reina using it, I could learn it in no time!"

Man, does this girl know how to babble, or what?

"Oh! I forgot to say!" Reina butted into Ochaco's endless muttering. "I'm an enigmapath, so I can essentially understand any language, whether real, made up, or a secret code of some sort. That's why I could understand what you were signing."

I nodded, suddenly feeling not so special. This girl could understand any language and I had to train myself so hard to get here. I wish it could've been that easy. 

"And I can nullify the gravity of anything I touch!" The small, excitable girl said. "What about you? What's your quirk?"

They both leaned in closer, as if it was some sort of big secret, which I guess it was. Do I tell them? No, they seem nice, but if they know, then they'll ask why I don't just use it to speak all the time. Then, things would get messy again. They would abandon me just like Grant did. It's better to just let them believe that I don't have one. My hands started signing, "it's really nothing.

Reina's shoulders fell and she translated to Ochaco who had the same reaction. Suddenly, I felt bad for lying to them. So I sighed and continued, "the doctors said that I should've developed one. My only assumption is that it would have something to do with my voice, but I…" I paused for a moment. Is it too far to say that I COULDN'T speak? I mean, I had never really tried again. I'm not sure I could force my mouth into making the words. It was just an agreement I had made with Grandma. She knew I didn't want to speak, so she didn't make me, but she figured we should have some other way to communicate. It never occurred to me that maybe I should try. But I never really liked my voice when I could use it, so why try again? I communicate with my hands now. That's just who I am. 

I felt hands on top of my own. Reina placed them down on the table and looked me in the eye. "It's okay, we understand." She must've translated already. At least that should be the last I have to hear about that topic, I thought to myself, before nudging Reina's hands. 

She looked over to me and I signed, "so what do you two want to do with your quirks? They seem like hero material."

Reina quickly translated to Ochaco, then turned back to me and said, "Well, I don't really want to go the hero route, but I might try to find work with the government to be a translator or intercept and decode secret messages. It seems like I was made for that, dontcha think?"

I nodded, then turned to Ochaco as she started talking. "I definitely want to be a hero! I'm going to apply to UA in a few years! I really hope I get in! I'm training every day to get stronger! What about you?" 

"I'm not really sure what I want to do yet. There are still office jobs to do, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," Reina responded after translating. 

I offered her a smile and sign, "you'll be a great translator."

She gave me a large, toothy smile. "Thank you," she signed back to me. 

"What was that?" Ochaco interjected. "Please just teach me already!!! I want to learn so I'm not always behind!!!"

And so, Reina and I taught her. We taught her every day at lunch for the next two years. She wasn't the fastest learner, but eventually got the hang of it. 

I found out that the English classes in Japanese schools were actually pretty well taught, so whenever we hung out on the weekends, I always brought a Disney movie with me to educate them. They soon became my best friends and helped me heal, though they didn't know it. I started smiling more when I was around them. It was odd, but when I was with them, I felt...safe.

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