Ethan

I don't think I have any other choice... I finally had given up on myself... I grabbed my bag and pull out my razor blade... I had managed to slip by my brother and grab it...

(Y/N) had left and Mark and Tyler were somewhere else.

Dø ït

⚠Trigger warning⚠
(because I didn't use one last time and I needed to)

So I pulled my sleeves up and pressed the razor against my wrist. I was seeing the crimson liquid staining the blade and coming out of the cut... It was burning and stinging. It was hurting badly but I still continued...

I was crying and visibly shaking... I dropped the razor and stare at my arm... I was dissatisfied... So I picked the razor back up and pressed it into my arm making a deeper cut than before. I made a few more before I heard the door swing open.

I froze up and started sobbing...

End of scene

Tyler dropped everything he had and ran to my side... Mark had came and walked in... He saw the situation and immediately got the little first aid kit we had stored in the bathroom...

Tyler was trying to comfort me... He was really trying to get me to at least smile a little.

And once Mark came back he had imediately started to put bandages and shit on me. I could tell Mark was trying to help... And he was helping... But I could tell he was tense and kinda upset...

He finished and sat next to me... He looked at me and sighed... His expression changing into full on sadness...

Tyler looked at him and I saw him frown... Mark must've been sad or at least stressed about something... And Tyler seemed to understand that...

Of course I was just thinking about everything that's happened recently... And that really only made it worse...

I was crying harder than before...

Tyler was trying to comfort me... And I am pretty sure Mark is about to do one of those famous speeches... Mark sometimes tells me what seemed like essays long about how much people care about me and that I should never try anything like that ever again...

And I was 99.9% sure he'd do that now...

But he didn't... He only said very little...

"Ethan... We care about you and I know you're going through so much right now... But please let me know or let one of us know if you ever feel like hurting yourself..."

I nod and look down... I wipe my eyes but tears start flowing down my cheeks anyways...

Mark looks at me and gives me a hug...

"E-Ethan... P-please don't h-hurt yourself..." Mark says...

We both let go... I look at him and nod... I could see a few tears streaming down his face...

I've never seen this side of Mark... I know he tries to be strong... But sometimes we all break... And that's fine... Because we're only human...

I wipe my eyes and sigh... I wasn't crying anymore... I was just shaking... Tyler had left the room. I don't know when he did... Mark was still in here sitting next to me...

I felt my eyelids getting heavy... I just laid down and covered myself with my blanket... Mark got up and went towards the door... He sighed and looked at me once more before leaving...

I fell asleep quickly... And I had a dream... Well it was no dream it was a nightmare...

~to le nightmare thingy~

I was in a large city... It was very crowded and tight... There were car horns honking every minute... I was headed somewhere... I don't know where I'd go... But I was headed somewhere...

In my dream everything made sense... But to me it was nonsense... I saw people and I saw bright lights... But I kept moving... I stop in front of a large building... It was abandoned and empty...

I walk inside and go up the flights of stairs. I stopped... I was at the top of the building... I walk torwad the ledge and feel the fear of dying begin to swallow me... I was breathing heavily and had time to think about it...

Is this really what I need to do... I nod to myself and step forward... And I step forward once more ending what I had started...

~not le nightmare anymore~

May not be the nightmare but it is the end of this chapter... Knowing my schedule I'll probably post this book 1-3 times a week. I am working on a new book I haven't published yet. It is a Tyler Joseph book if any of you are going to be interested. I'm probably going to publish it in a week or so. I'll try updating it once or twice a week as well. My art and guess the song books will be random through out the week. I don't think I'll have a full on schedule for when I update but I'm going to try to get chapters done at least once a week. Love you guys!

Bye!