Just letting you know that the last chapter and this one if a few days later then it is now irl (which is the 11th of December well 12th or 13th by time it comes out)

I'm listening to smithereens. It says 153, and someone on Twitter I think it was Twitter at least looked up 153 and apparently it means "I adore you" which is because the 1 is I, 5 is adore, and 3 is you. I just thought it was cute and wanted to share it with you.

Mark

Ethan fell asleep... I was pretty worried about him... I didn't know if I wanted to tell Tyler about it or leave it be since he doesn't need any worries... I didn't know if I wanted to tell (Y/N) either.

I don't even have her number... So what's the point... I mean I could go on Ethan's phone... But its kinda wrong...

I do it anyway. I unlock it and go to his contacts. His second one was her.

I type in her number and text her.

'M: Hey, it's Mark, I'm one of Ethan's friends. I'm sure you remember me. But that's beyond the point... I'm not sure if he told you about anything... But today when I got home I walked in his room... He was crying and he had cuts all over his wrist... He's fine and he fell asleep a while ago... I don't know for sure what caused him to feel the way he did.'

I put my phone seem waiting for a reply. I quickly closed out of his contacts and shut his phone off. He was still sound asleep. And I'm sure he needed that sleep.

I was pretty tired myself but I was willing to stay up just to make sure he's fine... And I just realized... Ethan hid the blade... He must've done it while I was grabbing the bandages...

I get a text back...

'Y: Hi, Mark. I do remember you. Ethan mentioned stuff to me. Do you think I could come over later?'

'M: I'm sure you could, it seems like you and Ethan have a bond, he probably wouldn't mind.'

'Y: Okay thanks Mark. I'll hopefully see you soon. Text me when it's a good time.'

'M: Okay.'

I set my phone down, I guess I was anxious because of everything. I was supposed to go with Tyler to Ohio but I still had things to do before hand and was going to leave in a few days. And Ethan was going to leave a couple days after me to head back to Maine.

I don't know if I want leave him by himself. I want to trust he won't hurt himself... But knowing how easily it takes him to become upset... I'm not sure... This has happened before, I talked to him for a few hours and just let him vent to me (obviously Ethan didn't talk he wrote). I've mentioned if he feels like that again to let me know...

I care deeply about Ethan. He's a great friend of mine. I don't want him to get hurt. I guess things have been hectic recently I've been leaving home a lot and Tylers gone halfway across the country now. Now Ethan has another person to talk to about his feelings to. I know I haven't been paying attention lately because I've been stressed about the holidays and not as on track.

And maybe Ethan didn't want to bother me. But his mental health is important to me... I get why he didn't text me, but no matter what I'm going to be there for him. I want him to be okay.

I hear my phone ring and I immediately answer. It was Tyler...

"Hey Mark how it going?"

Now I don't know if I should tell him or not... But it'd probably be the best thing to do.

"Hey Ty, it isn't going the best at the moment."

"Oh really what happened?"

I walk out of the room.

"Ethan..." I say.

"What about him?" He questions.

"When I came home I caught him cutting himself, hes fine but he feel asleep a little bit ago. I mean he isn't seriously hurt or anything at least not physically, I just feel bad because I've been focusing on the up coming holidays and not my own friends I really wish I could've prev-."

"Mark, you're doing your best right now. That's all you need to keep doing. Even though you couldn't have prevented this you'll now be more cautious moving forward." Tyler says. I guess he was absolutely right...

"Thanks Tyler, you always know the right thing to say."

"No problem, just try not to stress about it to much."

"Bye Tyler!" I say.

"Bye Mark and say hi to Ethan for me."

"Will do, see you in a few days." I exclaim.

"See ya." Tyler says ending the call.

I sigh. Tylers right... I'm doing my best, and being stressed isn't gonna help anything.

Suddenly Ethans bedroom door opens revealing that he looked extremely tired. He sat at the table next to me, he had a distracted look. He has always been that way just never like this.

I really want him to feel happier than he is now. But I don't know where to begin. I don't want to be annoying about it. I just have to be there for him.

I text (Y/N).

'M: Hey, I'm not sure if Ethan's feeling it, he's just been seeming distracted and really out of it. I don't know how he'll feel with another person... Sorry, I'm sure you really wanted to come over.'

'Y: If he isn't feeling it then we can wait until tomorrow, I want what's best for him. Maybe I'll be able to see ya then.'

'M: Maybe. I hope you can come over then, but today really isn't going to work.' (wow this sounds like two mom's setting up a playdate.)

'Y: Well I'll probably talk to you tomorrow then, bye.'

'Who were you talking to earlier?' Ethan wrote.

"Tyler, he wanted to check in and see how it was going."

'Oh, did you mention anything to him?'

"Ethan, you know Tyler, he wants to know when stuff like this happens." I started. "So I-"

He sighs and starts writing.

'So you told him. I mean I get it but I just don't want this to be a big thing.' He writes.

"It won't be, believe me, I'm not letting that happen."

'Ok...'

I didn't realize how late it was until I looked at the stove and saw it was 11:37 p.m.