Not even in my weakest moment have I considered letting you go.

-Clayton Westmoreland, Whitney My Love by Judith Mcnaught.

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'Gavin, this has to stop. We can't go on like this.' Were the first words out of my mouth when Gavin pulled the car into an abandoned parking lot and parked.

'You're gonna have to enlighten me.' He growled.

'You know what I mean, Gavin. This... Us... Something's changed. Or maybe not changed but its gotten deeper and it's not good for either of us.'

'I obviously don't know what you're talking about considering my confusion.' He glared.

What the hell? Is he mad at me?

'You know exactly what I'm talking about Gavin. The painting. At the party. The little things. It's different now and you know it. We're not.... Something has changed.'

'So I painted you, big deal!'

'Gavin it wasn't just a painting! I don't have to be a high school art teacher to know that! You didn't just paint me! You captured my personality... My essence in that painting. Anyone who looks at that painting will know you didn't paint just anyone. It was too personal. You captured who I am in that painting and to do that you have to know me on more than a platonic level and sorry to be the broken record here but you're a boy. A human being with a life. Scholarships. Football. Parties. Girls. Friends. Family. And I'm a ghost. A two hundred year old ghost who is going to disappear forever as soon as a tattoo on your chest is erased. Do you understand it at all?' I cried.

'That when it comes to weird we grade on a curve? Yes I understand that. I just don't understand your incessant need to complicate it further and make it even weirder.' He stated.

'Oh Gavin!' I cried. 'Don't you understand? For the first time in two hundred years, I'm in danger of falling. And you won't catch me. Not because you don't want to but because you can't. And I'm not sure I'll ever recover.' I whispered.

His hands tightened imperceptibly on the steering wheel and he stared straight ahead. An uncomfortable silence settled in the car. I felt like yanking my words back and stuffing them back in my mouth.

I sank in my seat. Why did I have to go ahead and open this blabbermouth of mine?

Oh God. He's going to agree with me and ask me to stay away.

I cringed internally. Why doesn't that make me feel better? Its what I want, right? What is wrong with me? Why am I so scared he'll give me what I want? That he'll stay away from me.

'That's why you've been disappearing, isn't it?' He asked quietly after a while.

'Yes.' I answered after a short pause.

'Is it that bad?' He asked thoughtfully.

'I don't know. I'm to scared to find out.'

'It's not good for you, is it? I mean you're a ghost. It can't be easy for you.'

My brows shot up on my face. He's really thinking of me right now?

'Gavin, I have it easier than you.  I'm a ghost. You're a human being with friends and family. I have no one to judge me or pester me. You do.' I said softly.

'Is that why you're afraid? Because of me?' He asked incredulously.

'Partly.' I admitted.

'And the other reason?' He pressed.

'I'm scared if I let myself feel when it's time for me to go, I won't want to. I'm scared I won't be able to leave. Leaving is something I've dreamt about for the past two hundred years. I've fantasized about like a sex addict in a convent fantasizes about sex. Even when everything else was unsure and shaky, this was one thing I've never wavered about. I've always wanted to go. But now, with you, I'm suddenly not so sure anymore.' I sighed in frustration, screwing my eyes shut. 'Do you understand?'

'I understand.' He said softly. My eyes opened when I felt a slight pressure on my wrist. Gavin took my hands on his and squeezed gently. 'No matter what, know that I'm here. I'll always be here. Your very own Superman but in a varsity jacket instead of an outdated swirling cape.'

His joke lightened the mood, forcing a giggle out of me. Even though his words were light and playful, something about the way he said them assured me that he meant it. Should I ever need him, Gavin Connor would come to my rescue.

My very own Superman in a varsity jacket.

Something about those words niggled at a memory.

And then I remembered.

I cocked my head to the side. 'Gavin Connor, has anyone ever told you that you have a dangerously brilliant way with words and that makes you both both wonderful and dangerous all at once.'

'Yikes. Wouldn't want that, would we?' He smirked.

***

We somehow ended up at the amusement park. Gavin claimed I just had to go on this supposedly scary ride. Apparently my ghostdom isn't complete without it.

'And you're sure this is absolutely important? You are missing class for whatever this is.' I pointed out.

'I am entitled to skip class every now and then. I am a teenager after all.' He smirked. 'And you haven't lived if you haven't gone on the Soul Crusher.'

'Then its a good thing I'm not living, isn't it?' I muttered drily.

He shook his head exasperatedly but his lips curled into a smile like he expected me to say something like that.

I rolled my eyes.

The questioning look the salesclerk gave him when he bought two tickets even though a partner was no where in sight almost made me laugh.

'Ready?' Gavin asked excitedly as we strapped in for the ride.

'I'm a ghost Gavin. Things like this don't scare me. I'm always ready.' I piped.

'Not for this, you're not.' He stated simply. 'Feel free to hold my hand when you're terrified.'

I rolled my eyes to heaven and back.

I'm a two hundred year old ghost. Does he really think some amusement park ride made two years ago is going to terrifiy me?

Twenty seconds later...

'Ahhhh! Gavin get me off this death trap!' I screamed. 'Mother, they're trying to kill me! Somebody save me!'

I screamed for my dear life, grasping Gavin's arm tightly. The he-devil had the gall to laugh. At me!

I will kill him. I will neuter him. I will behead him. I will strangle him. I will poison him. He's a dead man. He is so dead.

But in the meantime, I need to get back to screaming for my life.

'Ahhhhhhhh!'

No one, and I mean no one was happier than I when the ride finally slowed to a stop. I couldn't get out of the cursed thing fast enough.

'Who the hell designs a ride like that? That is just a mass murder weapon waiting to happen! And does it really need to stop when we're at the top and then start swinging like it's going to fall off its hinges and crash to the ground killing us in the process?'

'It is called the Soul Crusher for a reason.' Gavin quipped.

I shot him a murderous glare.

'You knew. You purposely took me on that ride knowing that it could kill me.' I growled.

'Stop being so dramatic. You're a ghost. You can't die physically.' He shrugged.

'Maybe not but the fear almost gave me a heart attack!'

'Again, its called the Soul Crusher for a reason.' He grinned.

'God, my heart is still beating so fast.' I panted, placing a palm on my chest.

Blood was still ringing in my ears. I could barely catch my breath but despite all that, I was acutely, painfully, aware of Gavin and his every move.

A few less life threatening rides and a milkshake later, we got in the car and left the amusement park.

'I wanna show you something.' He said, steering the car away from his house.

I didn't think much of it until he pulled up at a tower with absolutely no windows. The only way into the tower was through a sizeable steel door.

Is this a lighthouse?

'Where are we?' I asked.

'I've been wanting to take you here for a while now. Since you told me about your fixation with the stars.' He smiled at me.

I glanced at the building dubiously. 'Where is this place?'

'It's an observatory.'

It took me a minute to process this.

'An observatory.' I gaped. 'Wow.'

'Come on. Let's go.' He said, leading the way to the door.

'Wait. Are you sure we're allowed to be in here?'

He waved my question away. 'Come on.'

My gaze narrowed and I dug my feet into the ground.

'Gavin, are allowed to go in? I'm not going to trespass or break-and-enter with you.' I stated.

'Do you honestly thinking I would've brought you here if we were breaking-and-entering?' He asked.

I didn't need to think about my reply.

'Yes, Gavin. I think you would.'

He gaped at me. 'Hey! I am not the bad.'

'Really?' I replied with an unimpressed look.

'We are not breaking-and-entering! Jesus Christ!' He threw his hands up in frustration.

I bit my cheek to hide a smile.

'Fine. Let's go. We didn't come all the way here to back out now. Breaking-and-entering or not.' I declared.

His self assured grin instantly returned. 'You're gonna love this.'

'You seem so sure.' I pointed out.

'I am and trust me, you will.' He declared.

A smile made its way onto my face because despite my better instincts, I trusted him.

I trust Gavin Connor.

He produced a key from his pocket and unlocked the door. Stepping inside, he poked his head out and yelled out, 'You coming?'

I shook my head exasperatedly even as a smile made its way to my face.

'Be there in a sec!' I trailed in after him.

The interior was dark and sparse save for a loveseat propped against the midnight blue walls.

'Are all observatories meant to look like this?' I inquired.

'Its no longer operational so they took out all the furniture.' He said by way of explanation.

'If its no longer operational then...' I trailed off.

'We are not breaking-and-entering.' He said on a huff.

'I wasn't going to ask that.' I snapped. 'Even though I'm glad to know we're not. I was however going to ask how you expect it to work?'

'Oh that. I've been tinkering with it these past few weeks. Tom isn't the only one who knows his way around a motherboard.' He cheeked.

I arched an eyebrow. 'You know your way around a motherboard or the way around a motherboard.' I didn't bother to hide my skepticism.

'Shut up.' He grumbled. I chuckled at his disgruntled expression.

'Just sit back and watch.' He said fiddling with some switches at the far back of the room, on the wall.

'Okay.' I raised my hands in the universal sign of surrender. I made myself comfortable on the only available furniture in the entire building, tucking my feet under me.

After fiddling for a few more seconds, Gavin came and settled in next to me, a remote in hand.

'What now?' I asked curiously.

'Sit back and enjoy.' He shot me a grin that had my heart rate spiking for a few seconds.

He pressed some buttons on the remote and in the blink of an eye, the room was... gone.

A quiet gasp escaped my lips.

It was like we were standing outside under the night sky.

No, it was like I was... Like we were in space. Surrounded by beautiful twinkling stars.

It didn't occur to me that my jaw was hanging open until Gavin pushed it close with his finger.

'This is... Amazing. It's beautiful. Thank you.' I whispered reverently.

'You're welcome.' He said softly.

'I thought you said it was an observatory.'

'It was but I created this hologram using some of the pictures of stars they had.'

I leaned into him, aligning my body with his so my back was resting against his strong muscled chest. His strong arms loosely encircled me, resting lightly on my waist.

It took all I had not to give in to the sensations the simple touch was causing in my body.

I let my attention return to the magnificent display of stars and a calming sense of peace filled me being there under all those bright beautiful stars with Gavin's arms around me. For the first time in two hundred years, I felt completely safe and content.

Gavin Connor is both my Superman and my kryptonite.

'Thank you for... All of it.' I whispered, not wanting to shatter the moment.

'Superman in a varsity jacket remember?' He teased.

I smiled, sat back and enjoyed the show.

The show that Gavin set up for me.

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