I jerk at the rapid series of knocks coming from the front door. The shirt in my hand joins the folded pile in my bag, I straighten up and tiptoe to the entrance of my room. I cough. My head pokes out of the door, I cast a tentative glance at the parlour which is visible from my position here and wait.

Bright lights flood the parlour, I eye the sofa closest to the door as if expecting it to move. A sigh escapes me, I should never have taken back my invitation from King, now, look at me. I groan, my fist connects with my thighs twice. He could have spent the night, nothing would have happened. I let out a deep breath. I am in better control of my emotions and hormones, I love Paul too much, I would have been able to resist him.

Images flash across my mind, memories of him thrusting into me on my office couch blinds me for a moment. I release a shaky breath and take one step out of my room, I did the right thing. With that perpetual air of arrogance and confidence hovering above him, anything could have happened. He knows his way around a woman's body.

I push those thoughts aside, he is not worth my future with Paul. I heave a sigh, if only the big head isn't so annoying, I won't be desperate for company. My palm presses flat on the wall, my legs ready to retrace my steps back inside should things go awry.

Crippling fear lingers in the air, I bite my lip and wait but the knocks don't resume. I press my fingers to my temples and massage the spot, it has to be in my head, it always is. Sometimes, I hear them, voices eerily similar to Mike's, he blames me for his death. I hear Mary too but she never speaks loud enough for me to decipher her words. Sparing one last look at the door, my shoulder sags and I return inside my room to resume packing. I need to leave this city.

My eyes scan the length of my room, settles on the wardrobe I left open. The hangers are empty, most of my clothes are folded inside the black travel bag on the floor of the wardrobe. I run my fingers through my hair, I need to wash off the gel, I also need to call Chi, to inform her I arrived home safely. But I don't want to do any of that, I don't want to switch on my phone, I don't want to talk to anybody. I want to curl into a ball and rock myself to sleep. My head moves from side to side, if only it's that easy.

Sleep now feels like a luxury to me but I am getting better, I should return to my usual sleeping pattern once I get home. I skip to the parlour to get my purse, I don't want to but I have to let her know I'm home, I owe her that much. Paul too, I should let him know I leave in the morning. Tracing a line on my collarbone, a sigh escapes me, I was going to do that but we never got a chance to speak. It is his fault, always is. We never catch a break, forever on a rollercoaster.

Locating the purse on the centre table, I retrieve my phone to switch it on and a knock sounds from the door. My head jerks in that direction. I am sure I heard right, it can't be my imagination. Someone is behind that door but who? A look at the wall clock shows it's late for a visit, I gulp. Holding my phone like it is a weapon, I take tentative steps towards the door and exhale slowly.

"King?" I call out with my hands on the key.

The door opens to reveal someone else, I let out a sigh and wave. Relief floods my vein, I almost run into his arms but a reminder of how long he kept me waiting stifles that need to be in his embrace. Blocking his way in, our eyes meet and my breath catches in my throat. He is too handsome. I shake my head and sink my teeth into my lip, I need to be angry with him. I should be upset.

"King, huh?" he mutters.

His eyes centre on my taut nipples straining against the lace singlet I am wearing, I gulp and grow conscious when his gaze travels to my exposed skin. My hand smoothens the imaginary creases on my bum short before returning to my waist and my chin raises in defiance. He is the one at fault, not me, I can't let him get away with his bad behaviour because I heard his sweet voice.

Oh, I have missed us; too much. My eyes trail to his succulent lips, if he kisses me, I will let it slide. I swallow the lump in my throat and lick my lips, blinking morosely at his chest until he waves a hand in my face. The corners of my lips twitch furiously, I lift my eyes to his handsome face. My hands fold across my chest and a tiny scowl forms on my lips when he dares to smirk. He-goat.

"King was here?" Paul finally asks, I scowl.

"Yes. He dropped me off," I answer with an eye roll and step aside. "Are you coming in or not?" I frown. "I have to shut the door."

"Don't be rude."

His utterance rubs me off the wrong way, I shake my head as a sinister chuckle slips past my lips. The audacity of him to accuse me of that. I waited for him. Forty minutes.

"That's a bit rich coming from the same person who kept me waiting for minutes. No explanation," I sneer, "and here you are, talking about rude." My grip on the door wavers, I scoff. "Are you coming in or not?"

Our gazes clash, I cross my arms and drum my foot into the ground. "I didn't know the talk would take that long," he replies.

"You never know anything," I fire back.

The sagging of his shoulders almost tempts me into taking back my words. But I don't.

Everything is his fault. He is the reason I can't sleep well at night, his face plagues me when the voices aren't doing that. I barely eat, the food I buy never measures up to his cooking. I can't fry plantain or potatoes with salt anymore because of his annoying voice reminding me it tastes better without it.

I spend every waking moment thinking of his stupid brown eyes. Tormenting myself with thoughts of his handsome self and possible activities he might be up to while I wallow in the pit of loneliness he forced me into. He should never have made me fall hopelessly in love with him; stupid feelings. I was happy being single until he arrived.

His hand reaches out to touch me but he lowers it without doing that and a dull pain spreads throughout my chest. "I'm sorry."

My eyes sting with tears, I sniff. "You are always sorry." I let out a low hiss without sparing him a glance. My resolve will melt under his gaze, I need to be angry with him. "What other shocker do you have for me?"

"Babe."

I swipe at the tears leaking to my cheeks and swat his hand resting on my shoulder. I attempt to take a step away from him but my feet remain glued to the floor. I want him here. "Don't babe me, leave me alone."

"Wrong answer. I'm not going anywhere," he replies. Tears blur my vision when my eyes lift to his face. "I'm sorry, my love."

He stretches his hand to me, my mind goes blank and my feet carry me to him. My arms wrap around his waist, I bury my face into his chest as he traces random shapes on the small of my back. His jaw rests atop my head, his heartbeat calms me, almost seducing me into a slumber and I squeeze him tight. A content sigh escapes me, I don't bother to hold back my tears. This is home.

We separate, he holds me at arm's length to scan my face and my gaze lowers to his black Chelsea boots. I dab at the corners of my eyes and sniff, I must look a mess, good thing I cleaned my makeup earlier or it would have been worse. He hooks a finger under my jaw, my eyes lift to his face and his brows furrow. I lick my lips and gulp.

"Can I come in?" Paul asks. His voice chips off the rest of the weight on my shoulders, I nod and manage to offer him a shaky smile.

"Yes, please. Come inside." I pout and bat my eyelashes. A smile finds its way to his lips, I frown. "But I'm not happy with you."

"I'm not happy with you too," he murmurs.

Fair enough, I still owe him an apology. I attempt to step back but he stops me with his hand snaking around my waist. The questions die in my throat when his head lowers, I gulp at the intensity of his stare and close my eyes briefly when our lips meet in a chaste kiss. Our noses touch, I moan softly and he presses me flush against him to place a kiss on my forehead.

Tingles shoot straight to my toes, my hands fall to my sides and my foot traces lines on the tiled floor with my eyes refusing to meet his. I want another forehead kiss. No, I need more. Paul whispers my name, our brown eyes meet and my heart flutters. I smack his arm at the sight of that arrogant smirk, he sticks out his tongue, I shake my head and saunter into the parlour amid his protest.

Tension descends on us when he settles on the couch opposite me, I rub my hands on my knees and lift my eyes to his face. He flashes me a smile I am unable to return, I know I wanted us to talk but now he is here, I don't know what to say. I don't want to ruin this night. I let out a sigh of frustration at his calm composure, his gaze never wanders from my face and my teeth sink into my lip.

His suit jacket is missing, his sleeves have been rolled to give a teasing glimpse of his muscles. My mouth waters, I lick my lips, he arches a brow that causes me to pout.

"Are you done checking me out?" I hiss, big head. He weaves his fingers into his beards, I hate myself for how much that little move causes a throbbing between my legs which I cross at my ankles. A smile breaks out on his face, exposing his perfect dentition and I feel myself getting hot. "I missed you."

"I missed you more."

The heaviness returns with vengeance, a sigh escapes me when my eyes land on my phone, I fiddle with the device, ignoring Paul watching me. I hate this silence. But I don't have the right words. Why can't we forget about everything that happened and move on? I am willing to forgive and forget.

"You switched off your phone," he states, I nod and turn it on. Chi must be worried, I will get an earful from her later. "Why?"

My shoulders lift in a casual shrug, I have no idea why I do the things I do sometimes. The silence mocks me, I don't know how to handle his presence. I set the phone to the couch as a series of texts pour in, Chi must be part of the texters. I will have to call or text her back, whichever the case, I hope it is with good news concerning me and Paul.

"Congratulations on your win," I say, my eyes never once departing from my knees, "you deserve it. It was yours to begin with."

His chuckles float in the air, settles on my shoulders and all my worries dissolve. "We deserve it," I nod, at this point, I will agree with whatever he tells me, "Thank you."

My eyes lift briefly to his face. "For what?"

The only reply I get is a shrug and his deep, penetrating gaze on my thighs. "I wonder whose idea it was to start a petition."

Amusement laces his voice, almost as if he suspects it's me but wants to confirm it. He laughs, a small smile flits to my lips, he will have to spend the rest of his life wondering. I am sure he will do the same for me, maybe more. There's no limit for him when it comes to me, one of the many reasons I love him. We need to get back together.

"I wonder too." Some of the tension ebbs, my lips part open and close without the apology forming. I let out a sigh. "I'm sorry."

It's his turn to ask, "For what?"

The words I should have said in my defence dries up in my throat, I swallow. I don't like this one bit, I want to be in his arms, not give answers to questions too painful to voice out. Scenes from that day play in my mind, I wince at the reminder of my harsh words, the look on his face as I went on a tirade, tearing him apart without a care.

"For everything." He arches a brow, I look away. "Everything I said, I didn't mean it."

His phone ringtone cuts through the air, I get wary when he avoids my gaze after gawking at his screen in silence. He stands without looking my way, my fear heightens and I jump to my feet. No. But I am sorry, he can't leave, we are not done talking. I close the gap between us, leaving a distance that can easily be covered in one stride.

Paul finally looks my way, my heart sinks to my stomach at his frown and I bite down on my tongue to keep from begging him to stay.

"I have to go," he breathes out. The distance between us seems to grow, I stare at the tiles until he calls out my name. I want him here.

"You just got here," I mutter. He nods, I shut my eyes and count to five, I won't cry, I am a big girl, I can handle this night alone. "Why did you come? I don't want you to go."

He points his phone in my direction, I don't care to read the words on it. I need him here. "Chi said you left, I wanted to know if you were okay and to apologise for keeping you waiting." I nod, I am not okay, I won't be if he doesn't stay. "But I have to get back," he glances at his phone, "to the--my party."

Frustration seeps into his voice, it is obvious he will rather be anywhere but there. The air of indifference he put up might have fooled someone else but not me, I also want him here. He looks my way and a ghost of a smile flits across his lips. He has to stay.

"Don't go," I whisper and bridge the gap between us. I touch his face, my fingers trail his cheek before ending in his beards. "You hate parties but you love me. Your Ify, I am your babe," a smile flashes across his lips, it tugs on my heartstrings, "stay with me."

He shakes his head. "You hurt my feelings."

A strange emotion flickers in his eyes, I sigh and my hands return to my sides. My heart thumps behind my rib cage, he can't leave me here alone. His lips part open, I cut him off, "I can't sleep. Please stay. Don't go."

His face softens, my lips quiver when the pad of his thumb brushes my cheek. "Okay."

Knowing he will spend the night doesn't ease me. I want him to be happy with me, at the thought of us sharing a bed and I will do anything to make that happen. "I'm sorry."

Realisation dawns on me when he runs his fingers through his hair, my throat clogs. He doesn't want my apology. I try to touch him but he stops me with his hands circling my wrists. He lets out a sigh, his grip slacks. I free myself from his hold but he makes no attempt to touch me again and I swallow.

"Ifunaya, sorry is not enough," he says, I shake my head, "what are you sorry for?" His eyes threaten to bore holes into me, my lips part open but I can't form a coherent sentence. "Ify. What are you sorry for?"

"Everything," I finally manage to whisper.

When he schools his face into a blank mask, panic sneaks up on me and I take another step back. I wrap my arms around myself as if to protect myself from his questions, my eyes water but he doesn't seem fazed by the tears trailing down my cheeks. What more does he want to hear? I am sorry, I really am. I didn't mean any of those things I said.

"You're sorry for everything?" my head bobs, at last, he gets it, "what is everything?"

"Everything?" My shoulders rise and fall, it is so hard with him sometimes, why can't he be like every normal person I know and accept the apology without question. "I don't know. Everything that happened?" His lips press into a thin line. "Paul, I am sorry. Just accept the apology so we can move on, biko. I don't want us to fight again, I'm tired." My arms circle his waist but he doesn't return the hug. I say in a voice muffled by my lips pressing into his chest, "Sorry. I love you."

The hand he places on my shoulder grows heavy with each second of silence. "I can't accept your apology if you don't know what you are sorry for," he says. My hands leave his waist, I take a step back to glare at him. "Ifunaya," he caresses my jaw, a tight smile takes over his lips, "you slapped me because you were angry. I will never do that to you."

Tears rush to my eyes, I blink and my lips tremble. He doesn't need to remind me, I am doing a good job of that already. His voice lowers, "You love me," I nod, "but you walked out on us. You were rude to NK until Chi spoke to you, you don't even know her."

Ignoring a stranger's greeting is not rude, I only glared at her when she smiled my way. But as soon as Chi explained, I was nicer. I made more efforts, if she had approached me after, we might have exchanged contact.

"It's your fault, Paul. You always keep things from me." He scoffs and snickers, I sniff, he caused it. "You are too secretive. You should have told me who she was," I gulp, "that you were engaged before. It's your fault."

Disappointment crosses his features as he stares at me long enough for me to grow uncomfortable and my gaze lowers to my feet until I hear his retreating footsteps. My heart constricts as he ambles to stand in front of the television, he shoves his hands into his pocket, shakes his head and lets out a low whistle. I stare at his back, tempted to go to him. If he isn't so closed-lipped when it comes to sharing important aspects of his life with me, we won't be having this talk. His body tilts in my direction, I look away.

"It's my fault?" My head raises, I hesitate to nod. When I do, wrinkles mar his forehead, he groans and runs his fingers through his face. "How was I supposed to tell you about NK when you ran off like that?" I scowl. "You never gave me a chance to explain."

"Fine. I never gave you a chance with NK. What about Emmanuella, did I run off too?"

He lets out a sigh. "Yes, you did. You ran off after hitting and calling me names." I shiver as the memory of my hand connecting with his cheek replays in my head. Tears spill from my eyes but he doesn't wipe them, he maintains the gap between us. "You left."

"I didn't keep Ella a secret. It never came up because we had other important things to worry about." He tugs on his beards. "A lot has happened, you know that. We have only been dating one month and every time you are angry, you get unkind with your words. You lash out at me, verbally and physically," my heart breaks at the pain in his voice, "I am tired of that. The apologies that come after. I don't like it, I won't do that with you."

His final words knock the breath out of me, I let out a sound between a choke and a sob. My lips tremble, my voice comes out shaky when I ask, "Are you breaking up with me?"

"Were you even listening to me?" His brows furrow, the veins on his forehead threatens to pop and he pinches the bridge of his nose. "Babe. Ify, you can't keep assuming."

I nod. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hitting you."

The parlour grows quiet, his hand clenches at his side, I sigh. "You also called me a liar."

"I know," I sniff, my eyes water, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, I say so many things when I am angry." His stare has me swallowing the lump in my throat, I sink my teeth into my lower lip and step in front of him, almost afraid to touch him. "Paul, I didn't mean it."

"You said you didn't want me."

"I lied, I'm the liar here. I want you, I always want you." He doesn't speak, I gulp and look away from his face as my fingers trail a line down his arm. "Forgive and forget, please."

A long pause ensues, I sigh and lick my lips.

"Do you feel it?" I ask. My head lifts as my skin comes alive under the gentle caress of his fingers on the side of my face. Sparks spread to all parts of my body, I palm his cheeks to keep him from turning away. On my toes, I brush my lips against his. "Don't be too hard on me, please. I love you."

**********

I was supposed to end it here since I love round figures but these characters don't want to let go. Smh. We will see.