Minutes have gone by since a female server called Paul's attention, I try not to think too much about his disappearance as I sit alone at the dining table with no interest in the sumptuous meals for company. I blame him for my lack of appetite, it stepped out with him but he can feed me on his return, after our talk. I shake off the nerves, we talk all the time, it can't be much different now.

Ladies in similar outfits come out to remove the stainless bowls and plates on the table, my eyes rove over them, looking out for the girl who called Paul. I give out a description to them, they reply in the negative and my chest deflates. Waiting is a small price to pay if I want us to reconcile, I can do it. I have to do it, I want him, I love that man.

Out of boredom, I start counting the seats, all thirty of them until the waiters take their leave. Alone with my thoughts again, my shoulders sag and I trace the gold armrest of the chair Chi vacated. This is the oddest party --if I can call it that-- I have attended. To me, it feels like the guests needed an excuse, a place to cool off and Mr Adams volunteered to provide them with that under the guise of celebrating Paul. I am sure Paul doesn't know half of the people present, I scoff, the host is still missing.

Another glance at my wrist shows Paul has been gone for ten minutes, I stand, my purse clenched in my grip as I journey in the direction the server ushered him. We need to talk, about what? I don't know yet, I can start with an apology but his presence is needed. He should be here already, I let out a sigh, he shouldn't have even left.

High life music filters in from the parlour I strut pass on my way to the kitchen, a smile flits to my lips as I sight grown men dancing and humming to the soulful melody with Chi nowhere to be found. Daddy played a lot of this. He would move his legs in that funny way like he wanted to jump but forgot how, his hand rubbing his tummy as he sang the chorus along with the musician.

I love daddy but he was a horrible dancer, the worst in the house. He and Mmá were constantly battling for the title of the most awful dancer but he always took the spot. I let out a chuckle and snatch a glass of wine on the tray of the server who rushes past me. If he were here, he would tell me to go after Paul, my man, after sitting me down to ask if he was handsome and worth the stress of being pined over or the sleepless nights I spent thinking of him. Paul is worth it, he is worth more than I have treated him.

The stifled voices coming from the kitchen assure me I am on the right track, I stop at the door left ajar and wait to pick out their words. Their voices seem to grow lower but I can identify Paul's, that rich voice plagues my dreams, day and night. I love the sound of it, especially his morning raspy voice.

I take a deep breath, my back rests against the wall with the flute perched between my fingers and my eyes land on the flowerpots positioned a few feet away from where I am standing. Their voices fade, I exhale and wait for them to step out but they remain inside. I drum my foot into the tiled floor, the purse in my hand swaying gently, I hope he remembers he left me at the table, kept me waiting without any form of excuse.

A thought hits me, a wicked chuckle escapes me as I shuffle to empty the wine into one of the flowerpots. I raise the glass, now, I need a refill, the perfect excuse to enter the kitchen. Tracing the rim of the cup, I exhale feverishly, spin and head off to find him.

No, I am off to get a refill of this sweet wine which should be in the kitchen he happens to be at. Not him. I take another step forward, he better be alone, I am tired of dilly-dallying, I want him. Gosh, I need him. It will be nicer if I can get him in my bed, I don't want us to spend another night apart.

Wincing at the sound of my feet connecting with the floor, I wonder how the irritating sound hasn't caught their attention. My chest rises and falls, I gulp and the hand holding the empty cup trembles. What if he gets annoyed by my interruption? I gulp, I don't want to be in his bad book anymore.

"Hey, you, I saw that," a person calls from behind me. I pause and swallow. It is bad to waste food but I didn't do anything wrong, it's just red wine, no one will miss it. "Hey."

Slowly, I turn to face the source of the voice and my chest sags in relief. King bridges the distance between us with a small smile which transfers to my lips, his hands come to rest on my waist as he pecks my cheeks. I smack him on his chest, he laughs and shakes his head, I scowl, hating the sound.

"Hey, did I scare you?" he asks with a wink.

"No," I reply, his hand lingers on my waist with a lazy smile plastered on his lips. His presence comforts me more than it should, I tilt my head to the side. "What did you see?"

His eyes dart between the wine glass and the flowerpot, he shrugs, I shrug. I cast a look at the kitchen door that has been fully closed, expecting Paul to walk out anytime soon. I don't want him to see me with King.

"Are you waiting for someone?" he asks.

Am I? I am not sure what the answer to his question should be but I settle for, "Kind of." His head bobs, I suck on my lower lip and shift my weight. "What about you, what are you doing here? Did Paul invite you?"

Series of questions leave my lips, he lets out a chuckle, I smile. Hell will freeze over before Paul invites him to any occasion, he has a strong dislike for King. Our little office tryst might have something to do with that.

Nothing and no one can change his mind about him. King is cool but he doesn't want to hear that, the mention of King's name is a good way to ruin his day. I raise my brows at King who hasn't answered my question, he shoves his hands into his pocket, the same sly smile still playing on his lips. In an alternate universe, we might be lovers.

"You look good," he mutters with his eyes on my face, "as always." My lips press into a thin line, heat travels down my lower belly and the hand holding the cup grows heavy.

It's the way he breathes the words out with so much softness and sincerity, a seductive whisper. I nod and swallow. I wanted to hear that compliment from Paul, to have his voice caress me, tickle my senses right before he kisses me but I will manage this.

My voice comes out hoarse when I tell him, "Thank you." He nods. His lips pull into a smug smile that has my teeth sinking into my lip and I take a step back. He winks, I forget about repaying his compliment. "So?"

"Mr Adams invited me," his hand sweeps across the long dim-lit corridor, "the party is lit..." he trails off and I giggle. "Very nice."

Nice indeed. I eye him in his casual outfit, the grey plain trouser he matches with a black sweatshirt paired with sneakers of the same colour. He also looks good, the most relaxed among all the guests I have seen today. His dress sense is topnotch too.

Our eyes meet, I clear my throat and look away. I don't know how I feel about this meeting. A phone beeps, I glance his way.

"I haven't seen him," his brow arches, "Mr Adams, I haven't seen him since I came."

King nods in understanding, his head bent over the phone he pulled out of his pocket. He flashes me a smile after putting his iPhone away, my eyes lower to his biceps which bulge when he folds his arms across his chest. He has fewer muscles than Paul but he looks just as fit. I shake my head to clear the immoral thoughts making a strong appearance, I don't like him, I'm just horny.

"He had to step out, something came up." I nod and straighten up to hide the skin peeking through the slit of my gown. "It was nice to see you, Pauline," my eyes lift to his face, he offers me a smile which I fail to reciprocate, "I have to get going. Take care."

Disappointed by his statement, I let out a small, "Oh. Okay." His eyes scan my face, an eyebrow shoots up. I shrug. "Go well. Bye."

But he stands there with his foot rooted to the ground and the distance between us present. With my heels, he still towers over me, I look everywhere but at his face. I shift my weight to another foot, Paul hasn't come out yet and I am tired of waiting. He left me alone knowing full well I was waiting for him, I sigh, he has punished me enough.

No calls. No texts. Nothing from him. My shoulder sags, I squat to drop the cup a few inches away from the door, no need to try. By this time tomorrow, I will be at home.

"Are you okay?" King asks, I nod. "Well... are you ready to leave?" I spare a glance at my wrist, Paul has been in there for more than thirty minutes, I nod again and he smiles. "Okay. Did you come with your car?" I shake my head. "Do you want me to drop you off?"

*   *   *

The usually jam-packed garage King's Audi parks in is empty, except for the occasional noise coming from the projector mounted on top of the mall, silence prevails. I fiddle with the knob of the radio, rotating it until music filters into the car and my hand returns to my lap. I lean back into the seat with my eyes closed as the smooth voice settles over me, taunting me with the lyrics of a heartbreak song. My fingers massage my temple, I inhale feverishly, I feel tired.

My phone pings with a response from Chi telling me to call her as soon as I get home. Maybe I should have sent her a text about leaving when I was home. I bite a corner of my lip, my fingers hover above my screen as I contemplate the best reply to her. I sigh.

I didn't get a chance to inform her about my travel, we might not see before I leave. My chest falls, I don't know how long I will be out of this city, Mr Adams didn't specify a duration, he just wants me gone. A strange feeling creeps up on me, I also want to leave for Enugu. This place holds bad memories.

A couple steps out of the mall holding hands and I smile, they wait by the side of the curb until a car arrives to pick the lady. The male kisses her on her forehead before opening the door of the backseat and a pang of loneliness hits me. Maybe I should have gone with King to get his dinner but we might have passed off as lovers. I don't want that. Besides, he promised to get a takeaway, so I don't understand the delay.

Longing fills me as my phone screen lights up with a picture of me and Paul, I type out a reply to Chi with an apology and the time of my flight. My phone rings immediately the message shows delivered, I end the call and send a text to her about having a low battery. I wait a few seconds for a barrage of threatening messages from her, nothing comes in. My eyes wander to the double figure beside the battery icon and I purse my lips, my phone will last a few hours without charging but I still switch it off.

Another figure steps out of the mall, I stare out the window, recognising the person as King with the light bounce in his steps. The light reflects on the white nylons in his hand, I spot the red logo of the restaurant he visited, one of the many eateries inside this gigantic mall. I reduce the volume of the radio, turning it off completely when he opens the door and slides into the car.

Folding my arms across my chest, I frown as he sets the nylon in the middle of our seats and reduces the temperature of the AC. An aroma wafts into my nostrils, I am reminded of the small, unsatisfying bites I took at Mr Adams's house and my stomach clenches violently as if to punish me for barely eating. I stifle a groan, it will be dumb of me to mention my hunger when he asked if I wanted anything before leaving.

"What took you so long?" I ask, wrapping my arms around myself. King notices me shiver slightly, he spares me a wary glance and turns off the AC. I look out the window briefly, at the letters on the large building and pretend he didn't do it for my sake.

Ear scratching sounds pierce the silence as King searches through the nylon to retrieve a smaller one from it and my eyes follow the movement. He pauses to say, "There was a queue." Handing me the nylon with a package, I grimace as water from the cold bottle seeps to my gown and he offers me a tight smile. "Sorry for keeping you waiting."

The apology feels wrong coming from him, I nod and he starts the car. Paul is the one who owes me an apology, he might not even notice my absence. I sigh, it doesn't matter.

"Why didn't you eat there?" I ask when we pull out of the mall and into the less busy street illuminated by the streetlights. He reminds me to use my seatbelt. "Thanks." I repeat my question, "Why didn't you eat?"

He shrugs. "It would have been awkward."

The car grows quiet after his solemn reply, I nod, trying and failing to imagine him on the same table with Paul. I let out a small laugh, he made the right choice, I might have choked on the awkwardness. With Mr Adams absent, it would have been weird, cringey, Chi's jokes wouldn't save the day.

My hand closes around the bottle of 5Alive in the nylon he gave me, I take a sip of the cold, pulpy juice and rest my head against the window. The radio crackles, a slower love song fills the car and I am forced to sit up when we near the entrance of my house which I gawk at with a feeling of dread.

I don't want to be alone.

He stops in front of my gate, we sit without saying a word. I ask, "What did you get?"

"For you?" I nod. "Nothing much. Shawarma with double sausages but that's how I like it." A wide grin takes over my lips, his hand relaxes on the steering wheel and the upper half of his body angles in my direction. "Did I make a good choice?" I shrug. His brows furrow, I laugh. "Come on, tell me, did I?"

My head bobs. "Yeah, you did. That's how I like mine too," I raise the bottle of 5Alive, "But with coke. Big bottle." He chuckles, I grin and nod, we can be friends. To delay my inevitable departure, I point to his nylon and ask, "What did you get for yourself?"

"Jollof rice," he mutters with a laugh, "I can't cook to save my life." I wonder if it's also his favourite meal but I don't ask. Knowing it won't make a difference. "Can you cook?"

Giggles escape my lips. "Does boiling water count?" He replies in the negative. "What about noodles or spaghetti?" He shakes his head. "Then I can't cook. I'm an awful cook."

Our laughter fills the car, I giggle and let out a content sigh. We sit in companionable silence, I don't know if I simply miss Paul or lack attention or dread going in but I find myself wanting to stay in the car longer. I let a few minutes pass, he makes a joke that has me giggling again. My fingers halt on the lock, I bring out my phone and stare at the dark screen with longing, I might not understand Paul sometimes but he is the one I want to always be around. I love him.

"How's work?" I grimace at the reminder of my job which has gotten so boring I find myself wishing I was still in Madiba with the opportunity to meet people daily. He continues, "You were gone for a few days."

Kidnapped. "Yeah, I fell sick. Work is great."

I open the door, fear trickles down my spine as I cast a glance at my gate. It is safe. I put one foot outside. "Thank you for the ride."

King waves my appreciation off, my second leg joins the one outside but I don't step out, I can't explain the fear I feel but I don't want to go in alone. He calls my name, I gulp, I can make do with his company for tonight.

Nothing has to happen between us, I just need to feel safe. "Do you want to come in?"