The drive back is silent except for the sound of me giving Paul directions to my place. I am yet to recover from our kiss and a new wave of guilt hits me when I bring out the ringing phone from my bag. Chi is calling.

"Won't you pick your call?" Paul asks after the second ring. His calmness somewhat irritates me; he makes it seem like kissing best friends is something he does regularly.

Shaking my head, I put the phone on silent mode and back into my bag. I can speak to her tomorrow. Paul's phone rings almost immediately and I can already guess who the caller is. He picks and sends furtive glances my way, intensifying my guilt.

"Okay," he says into the phone and ends the call. "Chi has been trying to reach you."

"I know," I murmur, "I don't want to speak to her now." Not after kissing her man.

We can talk tomorrow, she can start hating me after today but for now, I don't want to think about it. I don't want to talk to her.

Paul steers the car into the corner I ask him to, his hand hovers briefly above my leg as if he is unsure of touching me. I wrap my arms around myself, tilt my head until it is resting on the window. The streets are empty, the darkness is punctuated by some of the functional street lights and I make a point of counting them under my breath.

"Are you okay? You have been so quiet."

Silence meets his question, I blink without looking in his direction. I am far from okay.

"This is it," I say after he drives in through my estate gate and stops in front of my house without another word to me. I hate the silence but it's my only accomplice.

My shoulder sags at the sight of my white bungalow. Home. Now I can get away from him to think, to clear my mind and figure out an explanation to offer Chi tomorrow. The thought alone makes me shiver, I tug on my pendant and click my tongue.

Paul's hand trails to my thigh just as I open the door. "Pauline. What's the rush?" Cold air rushes into the car, I shut the door and Paul continues, "Is everything okay? Did something happen with you and Chi?"

"This was a mistake," I whisper and his arm drops from my lap so fast I am afraid I hurt his feelings with my words. But I go on to say, "I don't want to lose my friendship with Chi because of you. We can't do this again."

"Pauline, look at me." His voice is so soft but I don't want to hear him speak. He doesn't have to say much to convince me, I lose my sense of reasoning around him. I like him, a little too much but I can't have or kiss him again. I have to respect the girl's code.

"No. I love Chi, she's like a sister to me, I don't want to hurt her feelings by doing this with you. We can't do this again. Please."

Paul leans to my side, offers me his hand which I accept without hesitations and in a few seconds, I am straddling him. He trails a line along my temple and flashes me a smile that has me smiling back at him. I want to resist his charm, leave the car but I don't and when his arm circles my waist, I let out a small sigh. He has me whipped.

His lips press against mine in a smouldering kiss and I am rendered into a hot, moaning mess in his arms. I melt against him as he peppers kisses along my neck, my hands find their way under his shirt, touching and feeling his abs. I feel his bulge under me and grind against it until a car blares its horn.

We jump apart and I throw my hands up in frustration, this is what I mean. I can't be in the same space with him alone. As if he knows I am about to condemn our kiss, Paul places a finger against my lip to silence me. His other hand works the zip at the front of my gown and my breasts spill out. When his teeth graze one of my taut nipples, I hiss and throw my head back. This is bliss and I want more.

My gown rides up as he cups my butt and slips his fingers into the waistband of my G-string. I moan when he flicks a finger over my folds and begin to litter kisses all over his neck as one hand kneads my breast and the other continues circling my clit.

I want to touch him down there too. My fingers reach for his belt and he stops his movements briefly for me to unbuckle it. I grind on his erection, giving up on my shaky fingers that can't locate the buckle and a car horn stops me from trying again.

"Paul," I breathe out, "I want you but Chi..." I trail off when he caresses my nipple. His touch, I can't get enough of it and no matter what I say or tell him, I want him so bad.

Staring at him through hooded eyes, I bite my lips when he zips up my gown and tries to adjust my dress. I want him to be mine.

He points to something in front of us and my head turns in that direction. It's the Audi parked by the fence of my house. I stay alone so I don't think too much about it until further inspection. The car is familiar. King is here.

Paul opens the door and I step out. He joins me outside, wraps an arm around my waist and I smile at his protectiveness.

"I know the person."

My statement does little or nothing to keep his hand off my waist and I giggle. We wait for King to approach us and a surprised smile dance across my lips when he comes to stand in front of me with a bouquet and box of chocolates. Paul stiffens beside me; his hand finally drops from my waist.

"Please, don't go," I whisper low enough for only him to hear when he makes to leave. I try to hold his hand but it slips from my grasp and I am forced to face him. "Please."

He doesn't say anything and I take it as a sign that he won't. I need him here with me. Taking steps away from Paul, I don't stop walking until I notice King is not behind me.

"Where have you been?" King asks.

I close the distance between us. "Out."

We haven't seen each other since our office tryst and I had hoped it stayed that way for a long time. I have gotten my attraction for him out of my system, I don't want him buying me gifts, thinking we are now a couple. We made the conditions clear, just thirty minutes and then we are done.

"You have a thing for the male staffs," he comments with a glance at Paul. I shrug. "Did you get my package?" I stop midway into shaking my head, hold on. King is the secret admirer. I chuckle and he continues, "I wanted to take you out for dinner."

To be sure he is the one who sent the package, I describe it to him and he nods. We stand there in silence for a while, my foot draws circles on the ground, I don't know what to say. "I already ate dinner."

"I should go," King says and hands over the bouquet and box of chocolates after pecking me. I stand there until his car disappears, the hand holding the bouquet drops and my shoulder sags. This can't happen again.

Without turning, I can feel Paul's gaze on me and I wonder if he caught any of our conversations. Walking back to the car where Paul is seated, I retrieve the keys and unlock the gate, giving myself a mental note to get a gateman, the same thing I have been telling myself since I moved in here.

Paul drives the car in, steps out without a word to me and I hurry to unlock the front door with the box of chocolates tucked under my armpit. My hand connects with the switch and light floods my parlour.

Dropping the chocolate on the glass table at the centre of the parlour, I take steps back and watch Paul retrieve the television remote after flipping the socket switch without a clue as to what to say to him. He is not a man of many words but this silence is suffocating. I want to hear his sexy voice.

The big Samsung television hanging from the wall comes on and he flips through the channels until he gets to HipTv. Paul relaxes into the leather chair and I stare at the back of his head. My mouth opens and closes, he has not said a word to me still. I can't deal with his silence anymore after seeing the romantic side of him. Did he hear us?

"Do you have a microwave?" Paul asks without sparing a glance in my direction.

I roll my eyes; I am behind him not in front of the television. "Why do you need one?"

"For the small chops or you can put them in the fridge," he answers. I nod and offer him a smile when he finally turns to look at me.

"Do you want to see my kitchen?"

The question sounds stupid to my ears but it's too late for me to do anything about it. He brings out plates containing the leftover small chops and asks me to lead the way by tilting his head. Together we pad out of the parlour with my feet slapping the black tiles which are an excuse not to mop daily.

After the snack is settled, the awkwardness returns. I spare a look at the time, it's a few minutes past nine. "I should go," Paul says.

"No, wait," I shout. He arches an eyebrow and I bite down on my lips. Why do I want him to stay? I have no idea but I want him here with me for the night. "Are we good?"

"You tell me."

"Paul," I drag his name out, "let's not do this right now." His brows furrow and I quickly add, "Whatever you saw outside doesn't mean a thing. King was my boss at Madiba."

"You have a thing for your male staff," Paul states and I freeze, the bouquet drops to the floor but I make no attempt to pick it.

He heard us.

"Is King the reason you were rushing to leave?" My legs push me in his direction, I try to touch him and he takes a step away from me like I have a skin disease. "Is he the reason why our date today was a mistake?"

"No," I cry out, "I enjoyed today. I loved it."

"Did you sleep with him?" My eyes widen at that and I bite my lower lip while avoiding his gaze. "He fucked you." I take a step back from him. "That day at the office, he fucked you and then you lied about it to my face."

"Paul..."

"Yes or no?"

"Please don't make me answer that," I say.

Silence reigns for a moment, his fingers massage his temple and I purse my lips, afraid to utter another word. "For a moment, I thought we had something together." His forehead creases with lines of worry and I take another step away from him. "Is this some sort of game to you?"

"No," I say with a shake of my head. "It happened only once, it won't happen again."

"So he fucked you."

I hate the way that word sounds coming from his lips. We had sex, yes but he makes it sound so dirty. Makes me feel dirty, used.

"I am a woman with needs and King was there at the right time to satisfy those needs," I say and raise my head to stare at him. "What I do is none of your business."

"It is every of my business!" he fires back. "I will not have you messing with my feelings, Pauline." I take another step away from him. I know he won't hit me but his words do more damage. "Is that what I am to you, another male staff to satisfy your needs? What number am I on this list? And how long until you get bored and discard me?"

"Stop it," I say and take steps towards him. "You left me, Paul. You kissed me and left without a word like I didn't mean anything to you. You are the one who messed with my feelings. You," I tap his chest, "you left me."

"Well forgive me for wanting to first settle down after moving into a new city," Paul starts. "Forgive me for wanting to get a new job, for giving you time to recover from an old relationship before coming after you."

"It was not your choice to make."

"Yes, you are right," he says and nods. "We all have choices and if you cared about me, you could have gotten my contact from Chi. So please," he deadpans and eyes me, "don't use that argument to justify your actions."

My chest rises and falls as the impact of his words settle on me. I could have tried to reach him but I never did. I am not the one who goes after the men, they always come after me. I move closer to him but he raises his hand to stop me from touching him.

"Paul, there's no list," I start to say.

"I don't care," he cuts me off and closes the distance between us. One of his hands cup my face and I stare at him, thinking all is forgotten. "I am glad I left you." His words are like nails passing through my heart and I jerk away from you. But he's not done, he's out to hurt me and he intends to see to it. "And you are right, tonight was a mistake."

My eyes water as he sidesteps me to leave the kitchen. "Yes, walk away, go back to Chi. Kiss her best friend and run back to cuddle with her," I shout at his retreating figure.

His reply is interrupted by the loud crack of lightning and I shriek when we are thrown into darkness. The power has gone off.

The light comes on a few minutes later; Paul is back at the door, staring at me as if he can't decide his next move. His eyes wander over me, I sniff and hug myself. He doesn't have to worry about me anymore. He can go. Let him go to Chi, they can enjoy this weather for two. I am not his business.

Thunder strikes again and the sound of water hitting the roof causes me to say, "You can go after the rain subsides." I half-expect him to listen so I rush after him when he starts walking to the front door.

"Paul, don't be stubborn. You can go after the rain subsides, please," I tell him again.

My words fall on deaf ears as he opens the door, and after one last glance at me, he steps out. He returns seconds after with his shirt dripping and his jeans damp.

"I told you not to go outside," I shout as I notice him try and fail not to shiver. He glares at me but doesn't say anything and I roll my eyes, he brought this on himself.

Skipping to my room, I return with my largest T-shirt and a towel. Paul removes his shirt without notice, making me gawk in awe at his incredibly toned body. His abs look rock hard, inviting and his V line disappears into the waistband of his jeans trouser.

"Stop eye fucking me. I am not King," he mutters through clenched teeth, venom dripping with every word.

Out of annoyance, I throw the shirt and towel at him which he catches before I walk off to my room. Stupid, arrogant prick.

**********

Picture: Beverly Maya/ Mawuli Gavor.

Don't they look so good together?

I'm definitely for Pauline and Paul. So I had this new idea to add to the book. Right from when I started, I knew how I wanted to end it. Now I'm not so sure.

I had to add a bit of smut to this chapter cos of you, Tiamiyusassy .. 😉😉

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