This week I was able to go to a church program in Utah. It's called EFY (Especially For Youth) and was such an awesome experience. We were with youth from the ages of 14-18 for a week of dances, games, prayer, and gospel classes. I got to go on the year when EFY celebrated its 40 year anniversary. The theme was "Here Am I" from Samuel 3:4. 

Over the week, I was trying to develop a more firm relationship with my Heavenly Father. I've always believed in God and that he loves us, but until this week I realized that I'd always viewed him in a kind of abstract, unknowable sort of way. And as it says in the book of Mormon, no one will know all the mysteries of God while we're here. But, "None that trust in him will be desolate." 

When it comes down to it, I don't need all the answers to believe in God. I just have to lean on what I do believe. The essential doctrine has been revealed, and all other questions will either be answered after death, of turn out not to be important. 

For instance, evolution. I know many Christians who find this topic extremely uncomfortable. I have seen much scientific evidence for myself, so that personally, I believe we evolved. But this does not lessen my faith. Whether the miraculous creation, or slow and steady evolution (guided by God) actually occurred, I won't know in this life. But whatever happened to place humankind on the Earth was directed by God and not accidental in any sense.  His hand is in all things.

We discussed the "Here am I" theme a lot over the week. One of the main messages I got from it was that Samuel "I" at the end. He put himself last. He realizes that God, the almighty creator, is talking to him personally. And his immediate reaction is, "Here am I. What do you want me to do." 

At first I viewed this as a job. Like, "Okay. Here we go again. What do you want?" But I remembered something. My best friend once texted me and asked if I would help out with a service project of cleaning. My immediate response was, "Sure! See you then." I was legitimately excited to clean, because I could spend time with her and help. 

This was what Samuel meant, I think. When we love and care about someone, when they ask something of us, we are not only willing, but almost excited to help. I want to build a strong enough relationship with my Heavenly Father that when he gives me a job, I'm downright excited to do it. 

That's really what love is to me.