'No, that's not right, Ryan.' Brendon mumbled, fixing Ryan's fingers up. Ryan glared at him playfully.

'Fuck you. Yes it is!' He yelled and waved the bow around like a mad man.

For the past few hours, Ryan didn't know or have a clue, him and Brendon had been jamming together and making music. Now, Brendon was trying to teach Ryan how to play his cello. So far, it hadn't worked. Ryan had done everything that made Brendon want to pull his fucking hair out. He'd run his fingers up and down the bow hair and Brendon had to smack him every time he did. He wasn't sure if Ryan was doing it on purpose or not though.

Ryan was sitting on Brendon's bed, the cello placed snuggly between his knees and to be honest, it kinda hurt. Ryan wasn't brave enough to ask if this was meant to hurt, if the ends were meant to poke him. The music stand was sitting in front of him opened to one of the easier pieces, or so Brendon said. But really, it just looked like a mess of notes that made no sense to Ryan. He had a high suspicion that it made no fucking sense because it was all bass. Luckily they were home alone as both of them had been making so much noise.

'Excuse you? Who's been playing cello since they were grade three?' Brendon asked, grabbing hold of the bow, being careful not to touch the hair. Ryan pouted and Brendon smiled.

'Okay, you have. Don't be a dick though. I'm trying here,' Ryan said, placing his fingers on the board again. He looked back at the music stand in front of him and squinted. 'What the fuck does any of this mean, Bren?' He asked and frowned.

'I just told you what it is!' Brendon exclaimed, waving his arms around, making Ryan giggle.

''It doesn't make sense!' Ryan said, his eyes wide and he honestly felt really happy. It feels nice being this happy.

I'll teach you the anatomy of the D scale, okay?' Brendon said, sitting next to Ryan.

'Minor or major?'

'Who fucking knows. I still don't understand that shit and I've been learning for almost ten years.' Brendon admitted and took the cello from Ryan who put his knees together. Ah that feels better. Brendon noticed and laughed, making Ryan blush a little.

'Shut the fuck up and teach me, asshole.' He mumbled and Brendon smiled, placing the bow on the D string.

'So, this,' He dragged the bow slowly across the string. 'Is open D.' He then pointed to the third line on the sheet. Ryan nodded and Brendon placed a finger on the finger board where the tape was.

He continued to try and teach Ryan the basic scale but eventually just gave up when he realised Ryan wasn't getting it. Well, Ryan would get it if he was actually paying attention. Instead, he was just watching Brendon's fingers go up and down the finger board and it was mesmerising.

'Just play me a song?' Ryan asked hopefully and Brendon's heart skipped a little.

'Of course, Ry. Pick one.' Ryan then flipped through the booklet and opened up to one of the songs. Brendon's eyes quickly flicked over the notes and bars, his fingers matching up to the notes subconsciously.

'Okay, ready?' He asked and Ryan nodded eagerly, sitting cross-legged on the bed facing Brendon. Brendon cleared his throat and began playing, soft notes and sounds coming from where the bow was and Ryan was in awe at how quickly Brendon's fingers moved from string to string, note to note or up and down the finger board. The last note rang out so clearly Ryan was pretty much ready to bounce up and down in excitement.

'That's so fucking cool! Oh my god you're so good at this.' He yelled, looking at Brendon who blushed and placed the bow on the stand.

'Thanks, Ryan.' He mumbled, stuttering slightly and packed up his cello. Ryan took that as his cue to put away his flute. He clicked the locks just as Brendon finished zipping up the case. He loosened his bow and slipped that into the slot before placing it beside his bed and hid it with his stand. Ryan pushed his flute case onto the floor carefully before turning back to Brendon.

Both boys just grinned at each other, excitement running through them like a live wire. I don't understand why we can't get along. I mean, this is fucking fun! A weird silence fell over them and it wasn't awkward but it wasn't comfortable. Kind of in between.

'Did you ever want to live off your flute? Like, play for a living?' Brendon burst out, his question taking Ryan by surprise.

'I guess. I don't really know. I mean, I love my flute more than anything but, it's not really something I'd do for a living.' He said, playing with the lose strings of his gloves. Brendon nodded.

'Same. Like, I love my cello to bits but, it's not really something I see myself doing as a profession,' He grabbed his laptop and turned to Ryan with three DVDs. 'Pick one.'

Ryan looked at them and his phone vibrated in his pocket, making him jump a little.

'Hold on, Bren.' He sighed and jumped off the bed, walking out into the hallway. Grabbing out his phone, he saw that it was Gabe. That's weird.

And suddenly Ryan felt really sick. His heart plummeted to the base of his stomach and he waited for the call to ring out. He then glanced back at Brendon's door which was half open and he could see Brendon on the bed, laptop open.

Ryan waited five seconds before taking a deep breath and redialled Gabe's number. He picked up after two rings and Ryan froze.

'Hello? Ry?' Gabe called down the line.

'Hey. Gabe. Why are you calling?' Ryan stuttered and Gabe felt like such an asshole.

'I wanted to apologise.' Gabe said, sounding guilty and Ryan's heart tugged a little.

'Oh okay. We'll I guess your apology is accepted.' Ryan said, watching Brendon play around on his laptop.

'Okay, fair enough. Do you want to do something now? We can go down that little shitty playground we used to go to?' Gabe asked hopefully and honestly Ryan felt a little guilty that he was about to say 'no' to his best friend. He hated decisions like this. He always felt like he was letting the other person down when he said no or that he couldn't make it. Gabe please don't do this...

'Uh, I'm actually hanging out at Brendon's. We're about to watch Aladdin.' Ryan admitted and he just hoped that Gabe wouldn't make such a big deal out of this. With his luck though, Gabe will react badly and honestly, Ryan was not in the mood. He'd been feeling quite happy for the past few hours. And I think it's because I'm not with Gabe.

'Wait, you're hanging out at Brendon's place? Really? You know how much I hate him. He's fucking creepy and weird!' Gabe snapped and Ryan scowled, shutting the bedroom door. As much as Ryan hated conflict and arguments, he hated Gabe putting someone down. It pissed Ryan off that Gabe was insulting Brendon. Like you're any fucking better.

'Brendon isn't as bad as you think he is. He's a good guy,' Ryan stopped when he heard Gabe scoff. 'And you don't own me, Gabriel.'

'Really? He's a fucking stringy kid! We can't trust them! He could be planning to kill you or use you.' Gabe hissed and Ryan was getting upset and stressed.

'Gabe, please just stop.' Ryan mumbled quietly.

'No! I will not have my best fucking friend converted over to the wicked.' Gabe answered honestly, hoping that would persuade Ryan to stop hanging out with Brendon.

Ryan opened his mouth, about to argue more despite the fact that he was getting tired and upset with this when Brendon opened the door, a look of concern on his face.

'Hey, Ry. You okay?' Brendon asked, taking note of Ryan's face and posture.

Ryan's hand that wasn't holding the phone was all twisted up in his shirt and his fingers were all crossed over. His heart was beating really fast and he couldn't catch his breath.

'No,' He answered Brendon and Gabe started to ask who he was talking to and Ryan cut him off. 'Talk to me later when you aren't in a shitty mood.' He then hung up and turned to Brendon. Brendon frowned slightly and raised an eyebrow. Ryan didn't really feel anything but anger.

'You alright? You look sad.' Brendon said. Ryan's lip quivered and he hunched over, his hands holding onto his waist tightly.

'No. I'm not. I fucked up. Again.' He mumbled and Brendon pulled him into a hug, his hands rubbing Ryan's back.

Ryan didn't want to cry. He hated crying. It made him feel childish and weak. But right now, he felt the strong urge to just start crying in Brendon's arms.

It was weird though. Ryan had only ever taken comfort in Gabe. Never in anyone. But being with Brendon like this, made him feel safe and cared for and Ryan kind of liked it. That wasn't to say that Gabe never gave him that sense of security, because he did, it was just different with Brendon. A good, different sense of belonging.

'Do you want to go home or stay here and watch Aladdin?' Brendon asked and slowly pulled away from Ryan who nodded and wiped his eyes, putting on a fake smile. At the mention of home, Ryan felt sick. He didn't want to think about Gabe or home right now. He just wanted to take his mind off it.

'Hell yes. I love that movie. Aladdin is like my favourite prince ever. He's fucking awesome.' Ryan said, already feeling slightly better.

'Really? Jasmine is my favourite princess of all time. She's so hot.' Brendon admitted, opening the bedroom door and pulling Ryan onto the bed.

Brendon started up the laptop again and slipped the DVD into the player. He then set the laptop between the two of them, pressing play and cuddling up to Ryan.

Ryan felt at ease. He felt calm and chill and safe. Whether it was the fact that he was watching his favourite movie or whether it was because of Brendon's arm around his frail shoulders, Ryan didn't know and didn't care.

The only thing that was bothering him though was how much his phone buzzed in his pocket. He suspected it was Gabe but he didn't really know what to do. Eventually, he turned his phone off and focused on the movie.

****

Ryan went home around five that night, after Brendon had insisted he stay for dinner. Ryan had politely declined and started walking home, watching the sunset. He loved this time of day where the sky was a light purple streaked with yellow and blue and pink. It made him feel happy.

It had taken him twenty minutes to get home. Once he'd opened his front door, he could smell the stale stench of alcohol that you couldn't smell from outside and the friendliness that the house gave off from the outside disappeared like mist. It was lonely, cold and broken.

He trudged his way upstairs, rolling his eyes at his dad passed out on the couch. Why the hell was I given him as a dad?

He shut the door to his bedroom, leaning against it. He felt tired and lost. With a sigh, he unhooked his flute and placed it in the cupboard. For once in years, he didn't want to touch his instrument. He shrugged off his pants and unbuttoned his shirt before slinging that on the ground. Stepping out of his pants, he left them in a pile near the door and made his way over to his bed. Ryan climbed into bed and pulled the covers over his head. His limbs felt heavy like led with memories he hadn't thought of in ages. He was hoping it'd take away the monsters outside.

It was something his mother taught him when he was little.

'Ryan, honey.' His mum whispered, stroking his soft hair slowly. Ryan's lip trembled and his eyes had tears in them. He was petrified. Both of them stood in the door way, Ryan behind his mother's leg, clutching onto it.

'Mummy, there is a monster under there!' He cried, pointing to his bed. She smiled softly and crouched down to his level.

'Ry, sweetie, the monster is there to protect you, okay? He's here to keep you safe. He may look scary but he's here to make sure you're okay,' she said softly, making sure her baby was okay. 'If he scares you, hide under the covers. That way, you'll feel safer.' Ryan nodded and clutched her hand.

'Can you stay with me and show me?' He asked. He still felt scared, despite his mother's words.

'Of course, sweetie.' She stood up and lifted him, carrying him to the bed. He held onto her for dear life and when she put him down on the bed, he pulled her to sit as well.

'Now, remember what I said?' She asked calmly. Ryan nodded slightly and his mum smiled. She pulled the blankets up to his chin and kissed his forehead.

'Goodnight, mummy.' He mumbled.

'Goodnight, sweetie. Remember, if you get scared, pull the blankets over your head.'

****

Ryan was trying to concentrate on the new piece of music they had to learn. Of course, it wasn't possible with all the noise the saxophones were making and Mr Weekes yelling at Spencer and Andrew to keep the beat. The fact that his brain was spinning didn't help.

He stayed up all night, trying to calm down or cry or sleep, whatever came first. Nothing did. He spent the whole night buried under his covers, repeating duck under to stay safe to himself and it didn't work. He was barely staying awake and he wanted to sleep.

'Alright, that's enough! Pack up, all of you. You all suck. I haven't heard anything this bad since I tried to teach preps to play an instrument. Ryan come talk to me, please?' Mr Weekes yelled and the band began packing up and putting away while Ryan got up, his flute still in his hand and wandered over to Mr Weekes' desk.

'Yes, sir?' Ryan asked, gripping his flute tightly as anxiety flooded through him. Oh god. Am I in trouble? What did I do?

'Calm down, Ross. You're not in trouble. I just wanted to know if you were okay.' Mr Weekes asked, looking at Ryan with concern.

'I'm okay. Just stressed. Y'know with exams and stuff.' He lied. Really the only thing upsetting him was Gabe and Brendon.

'Okay. Just thought I'd check. You weren't playing the best that's all.' Ryan nodded at his teacher's words. Yeah, I know.

'I'll try harder. See ya, Mr Weekes.' Ryan called grabbing his flute case and bag before sprinting out of the music room and to the boys' bathroom.

He placed his bag down near the sink and slowly packed his flute up, hands shaking. He had trouble clicking the locks in place and once he was done, he grabbed his phone from his pocket.

Ryry: Gabe, please come to the boys' bathroom. I'm scared.

Ryan hit send and pocketed his phone again, breathing deeply through his nose.

____

Hi, how are you all??

I kinda lowkey loved this chapter and I love this story so much its kinda sad. I've written the epilogue and I don't know how many of you will hate me for it. 

So, how did you guys like this?

Ngl, I hate making Ryan like this but it's apart of the plot. Well, it's apart of the ending.

i'm seeing Troye in about two days and I'm so excited !! I'm also meeting one of my internet buddies so !! I also published my two oneshots as separate books so feel free to check them out too :)

Votes and comments are always loved.

Xo, Riley