I fucking knew this would come back eventually. Ryan sighed and just kept his eyes on the cello case. He hated to admit it, but, he did know.

It'd been a few weeks since Brendon had spoken to Ryan about joining. He had suspected that Gabe knew but then he'd always realise that Gabe wasn't that smart. His friend was quite dense at times.

It must've been recently if his cello was here. It wasn't there last Thursday afternoon. So either Friday or earlier today.

Ryan nodded and Gabe rounded on him, disbelief written all over his face mixed with hurt and rage.

'Mr Weekes! I need to speak to Ryan outside.' Gabe yelled and Mr Weekes just nodded and Gabe pulled Ryan up. Ryan stumbled to his feet with a yelp as pain flared up in his ass. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Gabe gripped Ryan's shoulder tightly and pulled him outside. He shut the door and turned to Ryan, a really angered expression plastered on his face. Gabe raised an eyebrow.

'Okay yes I knew. I knew that Brendon played cello. I knew he played strings and that he wanted to sign up. What I didn't know, was when he fucking did it.' Ryan admitted, fucking terrified of Gabe.  He was slightly pissed himself. Why the fuck is Gabe so mad about this? None of this is his business!

'Why didn't you tell me?' Gabe asked quietly and Ryan shrugged, fiddling with his gloves. I'll kiss the person that comes out here and stops this. I really don't want to do this.

And really, Ryan didn't His anxiety and panic were starting to kick in and his fear was taking a comfortable seat in his head, taunting him and saying, I fucking hope Gabe drops your gay ass and you end up alone. Ryan hated conflicts more than anything. He hated anything that threatened his comfort zone and relationships. It felt like a kick in the ass and goose-bumps on his skin.

Before Ryan could reply, Spencer Smith, one of the percussion kids, stuck his head out the door and mumbled, 'Mr Weekes said you had to get inside and finish unpacking. We're about to start.' Before disappearing back inside. And Ryan wanted to sigh in relief. He'd be excused from Gabe's interrogation for an hour. I could kiss Spencer right now!

'This conversation isn't fucking over Ryan.' Gabe snapped before heading back inside, the thump of the door closing making Ryan jump. He honestly wanted to cry. I could lose Gabe so something so silly after years of friendship amongst other things. He headed back inside and took his flute out, taking his spot beside Keltie who just rolled her eyes at him.

Ryan's heart felt heavy as he raised his flute to his lips, eyes on Mr Weekes.

* * * * *

Throughout the whole entire hour, Ryan could feel Gabe's eyes on him, despite that the music was new and pretty fucking hard and that Gabe was two rows behind Ryan.

'Ryan, stay behind and pack up please.' Mr Weekes said, packing up his trumpet. Ryan nodded and set his flute in the storage. He sat on one of the chairs and waited for everyone else to leave before he began packing up the stands and chairs and making sure all the cases were neatly stacked away.

Mr Weekes sat at his desk, fiddling with sheets of music. Ryan glanced at Mr Weekes every so often, hoping the teacher would strike up a conversation but he didn't. So Ryan just sighed and organised the cases until you could see the floor in the room.

Twenty minutes later, he turned to Mr Weeks, playing with his hands.

'Uh, sir, I'm all done.' To prove his point, he swept his arm in a grand gesture around the now empty music room. Mr Weekes nodded, clearly impressed.

'Thank you, Ross. It's cleaner than I've ever seen it.' He joked, laughing like it was funny and all Ryan did was crack a small smile. He still felt down from his argument with Gabe. He would until he fixed it up. Besides, the joke wasn't even that funny. Dad humour. I think his humour left him when he had his children.

'Uh, goodbye, Mr Weekes.' He bowed slightly before slinging his backpack onto his back and leaving the music room hurriedly. He closed the door softly and sighed. I'm so fucking drained. I want a holiday. He wanted out of school for a few days. He didn't get a day off for another four weeks though. Sucking it up would have to be the only option. If I don't try to kill myself before then.

He turned and spotted Brendon, leaning against the wall, a shy smile on his face. Ryan felt his mood brighten slightly at the sight of Brendon. He headed over to Brendon, smiling slightly.

'Uh, hey Ryry.' Brendon said and it felt like someone had placed a heated knife right through Ryan's insides at the nickname. Ryan winced slightly and waved.

'Hey Bren. How come you haven't left yet?' He asked, his voice coming out in a barely audible whisper. Brendon frowned slightly but shrugged.

'I thought you and I could walk home. I only live a couple streets away from you.'

'Uh sure.' And Ryan kinda felt hurt that Gabe had left him. He's probably just pissed off that I've lied to him.

Or it's because he's had enough of you!

Brendon nodded and slowly started walking, keeping his eyes on Ryan. Ryan headed over to Brendon and walked along the edge of the path. Both of them walked in silence out of the school and down the road towards Ryan's house. Brendon had a cigarette between his fingers and Ryan was chewing on gum.

Ryan kept glancing at Brendon every so often and every inch of Ryan's being wanted to just jump off the ledge and walk beside Brendon, or hold his hand. Of course, if I did that, I'd upset myself more than I already am.

And on a day where Ryan was mentally stable (or, as mentally stable as he could be with his fucked up head) maybe he would jump down and deal with being unsettled for a day.

I mean, that's exactly what a stabled person would do! Ryan just found himself getting more and more frustrated with himself though. He hated how he'd turned out. He blamed his dad. That's not fair. He fucking tried for the first few years after mum passed. It's not his fault I'm like this. He probably didn't ask for a son like me either.

'Why do you do that?' Brendon asked and Ryan was so startled that he jump and almost slipped off. Brendon grabbed onto Ryan's frail arm and pulled him onto the road.

'I'm not sure.' It's a habit and it calms me down. Ryan shook Brendon's grip off his arm and jumped back onto the ledge, arms out for balance. You're fucking stupid Ryan!

Brendon stubbed out his cigarette and lit another one, offering it to Ryan who shrugged. May as well. I mean, my name is already signed for a death warrant. So he took it off Brendon, slowing his steps to take a small drag. Oh. Fuck. His lungs felt like they were on fire and his throat burned. A yucky taste had settle in the back of his throat and he kept coughing. I'm going to fucking cough up my entire lung.

'So, Ryan, what's the deal with you and Gabe?' Brendon asked and Ryan felt that same tug at his heart.

'Oh uh, we're really good friends.' He stuttered. More than friends. His answer puzzled Brendon apparently by the look on his face.

'So, what did Gabe mean when he said you two fucked occasionally?' And Ryan's eyes widened.

'What? Gabe said that? Well, he's not entirely wrong. Gabe and I have fucked occasionally but that's because we kinda have no one else.' Ryan admitted and he watched Brendon's reaction carefully. Unfortunately, Brendon remained expressionless.

'So you two do have sex? What does Gabe's girlfriend say about this? Vicky can't be okay with this!' Brendon said, sounding very distressed and it amused Ryan to a degree.

'Gabe and Vicky are fuckbuddies. He can't settle down and Vicky, I'm not sure what her deal is with Gabe. But they are dating or anything. Just as me and Gabe aren't really anything but friends. We're really good friends. Feature the occasional orgasm with eachother.' Ryan explained and turned down onto his street. His phone said it was 4:29pm and Ryan had less than half an hour to get home and start dinner.

'Oh. Okay. That's a nice... arrangement. So, you're gay?' Brendon asked and Ryan snorted.

'I'm not gay. I don't want to label it though. But I love pussy just as much as I love dick, Brendon,' Ryan laughed as Brendon's face heated up. 'Here, this is my place. See ya round, Bren.' Ryan nodded at Brendon and walked up his driveway. His shoes made little noises on the pebbles and Ryan felt the smile drop off his face the moment he could no longer see Brendon. I think I need to call Gabe.

So he unlocked the front door and he was met with a soundless house.  He tiptoed to the kitchen and searched through the cupboards for something to eat. Fucking nothing. Opening the freezer, he spotted a microwaveable meal and sighed. It was small enough for one but it'd have to do. I'll ask Dad if we can go shopping tomorrow. Ryan unboxed it from the cardboard and read through the instructions.

Fuck it. He can have it. I'll buy something tomorrow. He popped it in the microwave and took out his phone. Taking a deep breath, Ryan dialled Gabe's number.

----

I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)

Also, idk if it was obvious, but Ryan's not acting out of character. He's just a little bit strange. (it's all part of the story dw)

So, tell me your thoughts and stuff on this if you want. Comments and votes are acceptable btw

Xo, Riley