I walked with my boyfriend, Jeremy, hand in hand on our way to the corner store near my house. I listened as Jeremy droned on about Christine.

Christine.

The girl he said was just a friend.

The girl he used to love.

Jeremy convinced me he didn't love her, that he loved me, but now, I'm not so sure. It started when he started spending more time with Christine. Then, he rarely had time to come over and play games or hang out. Finally, he would take forever replying, over texting and in real life. He would talk about Christine a lot. I know people say that when you talk a lot about a person it means you like them.

...

Jeremy does that...

He talks about her every given opportunity...

He is constantly with her...

Jeremy loves Chri-

"Michael! Dude, we're here!" Jeremy yelled, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I blinked and noticed we were stopped in front of the corner store. I laughed nervously and rubbed the back of my neck.

"Whoops. I spaced out for a minute there." I half lied. It was the truth. But it's been happening for quite a while now. A minute is an understatement. I've been thinking about Christine a lot...

Wow, I must love Christine. I thought sarcastically.

I have nothing against her. She's really sweet. But I don't like how Jeremy is constantly talking about her.

Speak of the devil. We walked in the store and right away I noticed Christine. I glanced over at Jeremy, but thankfully, he was distracted by getting slushies. I prayed that she wouldn't notice us. Unfortunately, my prayers weren't answered.

"Jeremy!" I heard Christine call.

I watched as she seemed to bounce over, clearly happy, and totally ignored my existence entirely. Jeremy turned to her, a smile lighting up his face.

"Christine! Hi!" Jeremy said happily. The two started chatting happily as stood there awkwardly.

"I'm getting a slushie." I mumbled quietly. He didn't hear. Of course. I took my headphones from around my neck and put them on, drowning out their talking.

I grabbed a cup and fill it with the cherry slushie then pay. I walked out of the store. I half expected Jeremy to come running out after me, grab my shoulder, force me to take off my headphones, and demand to know why I was upset. I waited for it to happen as I headed down the block.

Any minute now.

He'll come running.

...

I'm halfway down the block now...

I feel tears prick the corner of my eyes as I rushed the rest of the way home. I put the slushie down and ran up to my room, slamming the door shut. I felt the tears fall freely and let them as sobs escaped my lips. I was beyond broken at this point. I was already broken before, and this just shattered me.

I managed to calm down eventually and took out my phone, seeing several messages from Jeremy. I felt like laughing. I decided to check the messages anyways.

Jeremy: Hey, where'd you go?
Jeremy: The cashier said you left
Jeremy: Michael
Jeremy: Are you ok?
Jeremy: Answer me please...
Jeremy: I love you, please answer!
Jeremy: I'm on my way to your house

I laughed slightly. What a fucked up world. I quickly sent a text back before getting on my bed.

You: Have fun with your true love

I groaned in frustration and tugged on my hair. I wished this was a dream. That Jeremy loved me and Christine was nothing more than the friend you saw on occasion. I wanted it all to be a dream. But, maybe my fantasies are a dream. If so...

Warning: Implied suicide attempt. Skip to the ~~~ if you're not comfortable reading it

"This time I'm never waking up..." I sing quietly.

I prepared what I needed to and stood on my bed.

This is it... No more pain... No more suffering... No more heartbreak... I thought, almost happy at the thought.

Ignoring my phone buzzing, most likely from Jeremy, I step off my bed. My vision became darker. The last thing I saw was the door flying open and Jeremy letting out a scream of terror before I blacked out.

~~~

I wasn't expecting it to end like this... I didn't want to wake up... Instead I opened my eyes to see a hospital room.

Great...

More suffering...

Thanks, god...

I guess I'm not even good enough to die...

And Jeremy isn't here...

Good...

At least one thing went right...

I won't have to deal with the pain...

For now...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dg22: Just needed to vent. That's all. I have nothing against "Christine". They are really sweet and don't deserve to be on the receiving end of my anger. It's just that I believe that if you talk about someone a lot, it means you really like them. "Jeremy" tends to talk about them a lot. They don't notice, or maybe don't care, that my mood tends to deflate slightly whenever they bring up "Christine". Honestly, I'm just too clingy and possessive. I can't help it. I don't want to be abandoned. Just the thought of being alone terrifies me, and the thought of losing the one I love isn't any better. "Jeremy" will probably be really mad at me if they figure out who "Christine" is... I'd deserve it... Ugh, most of you won't read this. Whoever is, thank you for listening. That's it I guess. Bye