Me: Hey, guys! Welcome to another episode of "Ask Musical Characters"!

Veronica: Hey, guys!

King George: Hello, my loyal, royal subjects!

Benny: Yo!

Anne Boleyn: Hello, Queendom!

Me: So, the musical we will watch today is "Heathers"!

The Heathers: F I N A L L Y!

Laurens: Ooh, I wonder how the musical compares to the movie.

Me: Today, we will again, have to resort to bootlegs. Okay, one thing before we watch. This show has pretty dark subject matter such as teen suicide, bullying, and violence, so for all you squeamish or sensitive readers, please be warned. Okay! Onto the show!

Eliza: I don't have a good feeling about this...

[Timeskip to "Beautiful"]

Philip: Oof! What's with all the language and name-calling?

Angelica: I'm so appalled!

Veronica: This is just the surface of it here at Westerburg!

Burr: Any hope and faith I had in humanity has now been lost.

Hamilton: Did you have it in the first place, though?

Usnavi: So this is before Veronica joined the Heathers?

J.D.: Mmm-hmm.

Peggy: Oh, Martha is such a cinnamon roll!

Mulligan: Ha! I like Kurt and Ram already!

Madison: "WHYYYYYY" is me on a daily basis.

Jefferson: Same. Mostly because of dealing with Hamilton's bulls***!

Hamilton: MY BULLS***?! OH, I'LL....

Heather C.: SHUT UP! HERE I COME B***HES!

Eliza: Language!

Heather M.: Darn right, my dad's loaded!

Peggy: Uh, mine is, too.

Angelica: HE'D LIKE TO KIDNAP A HEATHER AND DO WHAT?!!!

Vanessa: Oh my goodness...

Nina: "Bleugh" is right.

Heather D.: Hey! That was me vomiting from an EATING DISORDER! Don't joke about that!

Benny: So Veronica forged a note to bail the Heathers out of detention so now she's in their group?

Peggy: Seems it.

Anne Boleyn: Now what was she meant to do? (Singing) Sorry not sorry....

Catherine of Aragon: SHHHH!

Hamilsquad: VERONICA! VERONICA! VERONICA! VERONICAAAAAA!!!!!

Veronica: Oi... -_-

[Timeskip to "Candy Store"]

Peggy: (Rocking out to that part after Heather C. makes her whole "are we gonna have a problem" speech)

Veronica: (Glaring) Oh... I remember this!

Eliza: (to Heathers D. and C.) You girls should be ashamed

Heather C.: Whatever...

Peggy: But you gotta admit! I love their harmonies!

Laurens: Oh, poor Martha... she doesn't know that note's a fake!

[Timeskip to "Fight For Me"]

J.D.: Yes! Uh-huh! That's me!!

Madison: So THAT'S how Veronica and J.D. met.

[Timeskip to "Freeze Your Brain"]

Hamilton: He's addicted to Slurpees like I'm addicted to booze! (Drinks a tequila flask) Ooooh, MAN, this crap's strong!

Eliza: (Snatches it away from him)

[Timeskip to "Big Fun"]

Mulligan: WHOOO-HOOOO! A PARTY!

Me: DAD SAYS ACT OUR AGE! YOU HEARD THE MAN, IT'S TIME TO RAGE!

The Heathers characters: BLAST THE BASS, TURN OUT THE LIGHTS! AIN'T NOBODY HOME TONIGHT!

Sonny: This song is fun!

Peggy: Kurt and Ram are gonna watch what, now?

Hamilton: NO! It's salt, THEN shot, and then lime! Gosh!

Veronica: (Mock gasps) Oh, no! Did I offend you?

Lafayette: Oof... the party is getting out of control!

Laurens: Poor Martha!

Daniela: Did Veronica just... BARF ON HEATHER?

Carla: Ooof...

[Timeskip to "Dead Girl Walking"]

Lafayette:... I don't know what's worse. "Say No To This" or this...

[Timeskip to "Veronica's Chandler Nightmare"]

Eliza: Even as a nightmare, Heather is so cruel!

[Timeskip to "The Me Inside of Me"]

Carla: Hey, J.D.?

J.D.: Yeah?

Carla: Why DID you add drain cleaner to Heather's hangover cure?

Heather C.: (Inching closer to J.D.) Yeah... why DID you?

[Timeskip to "Our Love Is God"]

Angelica: Jason Dean, ya done messed up.

Me: Okay! No intermission again. On to act two!

[Timeskip to "Prom or Hell"]

Peggy: Oh, no!!!

Daniela: They could've turned good, but...

[Timeskip to "Seventeen"]

Peggy: Veronica's right, J.D., just please give up violence for your own good.

[Timeskip to "Shine a Light"]

Burr: Yeah, everyone struggles in some way shape or form. It's how you DEAL with it that counts.

[Timeskip to "Lifeboat"] 

Peggy: Heather, I didn't know you felt this way?

Heather M.: I know, and I'm so glad to have Veronica talk some sense into me before I OD'd.

[Timeskip to "Shine A Light (Reprise)"]

Vanessa: HEATHER DUKE, I SWEAR I'M GONNA--!!! (Lunges toward Heather D., Usnavi and Benny have to hold her back)

Me: Really, Heather? REALLY?

[Timeskip to "Yo Girl"]

Lafayette: Oh no! Things are now going crazy.

Me: VERONICA! DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!

[Timeskip to "Meant To Be Yours"]

Laurens: Oh,  I remember singing this as J.D. at Camp Glitter [A/N: It's a reference to a book by Glittersilver called "Hamilton Reacts To Stuff". Though it's come to an end, go check it out!]!

Me: Yeah! Those were good times!

Jefferson: Uh... this kid's got issues, big time.

Nina: I'm... I don't know what to say. (Holds on tight to Benny)

Benny: Me, neither.

Me: Uh, no offense, J.D., but... if there was someone like you or Connor Murphy in my school, I wouldn't want to touch them with a pole, however long...

J.D.: Yeah, whatever.

[Timeskip to "Dead Girl Walking (Reprise)" and "I Am Damaged"]

Lafayette: Veronica, stop him!

Jefferson: No, J.D., do NOT detonate that bomb!

Everyone except the "Heathers" characters: NOOOOOO!!!!!

[Timeskip to "Seventeen (Reprise)"]

Madison: So, she ended the vicious social circle in her school!

Veronica: Darn right I did!

Me: Okay, so what did you guys think of "Heathers"?

Benny: "Heathers" was... a LOT.

Katherine Howard: Yep, it was.

Jane Seymour: You were right about the trigger warning.

Anna of Cleves: Eh, I liked it!

Philip: I STILL don't understand why my mom didn't let me watch the movie until I was 18!

Veronica: I felt like I was reliving some memories!

Hamilton: And it was full of surprises.

Me: And speaking of surprises, the next musical we are going to see is "Six", but get your passports ready and pack your bags because... WE ARE GOING ALL THE WAY TO LONDON!

Everyone: YAAAY!

King George: Yay! London! That means you are on MY territory, and I will be your king!

Everyone: SHUT UP!

King George: TREASON!

Me: Okay! That's all the time we have because we need to get ready for London! Feel free to leave questions or requests! PEACE!