Hamilton: Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to today's Ham4- I mean episode of "Ask--

Me: HEY! I start the episodes! Hi, guys, welcome to another episode of "Ask Musical Characters"! Say hi, everyone!

Vanessa: Hi, everyone!

Catherine of Aragon: Hi!

J.D.: (Waves)

Me: So, today, we are going to continue watching our musicals one at a time, but first, we have a question from Glittersilver!

King George: Who's it for?

Me: That's for me to know and you guys to find out. Anyway, here it is:

The queens: (An awkward beat of silence, then they all argue on who's the best queen)

Me: Guys. GUYS! Stop it! You guys are all amazing queens, so stop fighting! 

Anne Boleyn: Hey! It's not MY fault I'm the most favored queen by the Queendom [A/N: That's the fandom name of "Six"]! Anyway, thanks for the compliments about me and my song! Anyway, my day as a royal ex-wife starts with me and baby Elizabeth having some time of our own until I have to attend to royal business. Maggie, my lady in waiting, is the one who keeps me sane when I'm REALLY busy. Kids, royal life is hard, and it's not all glitz and glamor, especially since you guys know who my husband is. Anyway, then the queens and I get together each night to perform for you guys! We have so much fun meeting the Queendom and just sharing the energy together! 

Anna of Cleves: 'Scuse me, can we go back a second on the royal life is hard part? 'Cause I didn't get that note.

The other queens: You had it easy!

Anna of Cleves: Yep, that's right! My life is fabulous!

King George: Same here!

Me: Well, thanks for answering the question, Anne! Okay, so the musical we are watching today is "In The Heights"!

Usnavi: WEEEEEEEPAAAAAA!!!

Everyone except the "Heights" characters: (Confused)

Me: Yep, that's right! "Wepa" indeed. And we got the TV fixed, so that's great. Okay, so there isn't a professional production of "In The Heights" playing anywhere. Unfortunately, that means we're going to have to resort to bootlegs. There is one of the original Broadway cast. 

Angelica: I'm so excited to see what's in store!

Lafayette: Me, too!

Daniela: We're so excited to share our story with you guys!

Me: Well, let's get to it!

Mulligan: Yeah! I'm psyched!

[During "In The Heights"]

Veronica: Hey, who's that guy dancing and spray-painting?

Usnavi: (Scowling) That's Graffiti Pete. He's a no-good vandal!

Sonny: Uh, he's the reason you stayed here with us instead of going to D.R.!

Carla: He's right.

Philip: Um... what's a "piragua"?

Nina: A piragua is like a Puerto Rican snow cone treat, except it's pyramid-shaped instead of round like a snow cone.

Heather M.: Uh, one question. Usnavi, how did you get your name?

Me: You'll find out later, I promise. Just stick around.

Peggy: Wait, what did they just say?

Me: He said "Hey, piragua guy, how are you", and the piragua guy said, "Like always, Mr. Usnavi,".

Hamilton: No! Nevis is the best island in the Carribean!

Burr: Alex...

Usnavi: I beg to differ! From what I read about your childhood, it seems like a he**hole!

Heather D.: Ooh, I like the beat of this song.

Heather C.: Fights, endless debts, and bills to pay? Well, that seems like a crappy neighborhood! It would stink to be y'all!

Everyone: SHUT UP, HEATHER!

Me: J.D., you know the drill.

J.D.: Got it. (Drags Heather to the timeout corner)

Nina: Oh, that's my mom and dad!

Carla: And that's me and Dani!

Sonny: (At the same time as onscreen) Chillax! You know you love me!

Eliza: A box of what, now? I don't think this is appropriate for kids.

Philip: Mom, chill!

Benny: 'AY! THAT'S ME!

Hamilton: Ha! I founded the Post!

Jefferson, Madison, Burr, Heather D. and C.: WE KNOW!

Vanessa: Okay, can we all agree I have the best entrance ever?

Laurens: Why all this talk about owing someone champagne?

Me: Usnavi and Vanessa had a bet that whoever moved out of the barrio first would get a bottle of champagne from the other person.

Hamilton: (To Usnavi) Ugh, if you love this woman, go get her!

Catherine of Aragon: Whoo! This just got festive! (Waves the flag of Spain) 

[Timeskip to "Breathe"]

Philip: Why did this just get more solemn? 

J.D.: "Got so much to hide?" This can't be good.

Veronica: Yep.

Heather M.: Oh, no! Nina, what happened?

Nina: (Sighs) So... I was the first to go to college in my neighborhood. I went to Stanford through a scholarship, but I had to work two jobs at once because the scholarship couldn't cover all the tuition, so my grades slipped because I was so busy working, so I lost the scholarship and ended up dropping out.

Madison: Wow... 

Katherine Howard: That's so sad!

Peggy: So she had to hide that from your neighborhood.

Madison: Exactly.

[Timeskip to "Benny's Dispatch"]

Benny: Oh I remember this!

Philip: I love the bass beat!

Heather M.: Oh, Nina and Benny are so cute together!

Everyone: (Chanting) Ship! Ship! Ship! Ship!

Nina and Benny: (Blushing)

Mulligan: KISS, YOU DORKS!

Nina and Benny: (They kiss)

Everyone: Whoooo!

[Timeskip to "It Won't Be Long Now"]

Vanessa: Yes! It's my song!

Katherine Howard: I like it!

Heather M.: Aww, Usnavi's so adorkable!

Sonny: Yeah, I had to ask her out FOR him!

[Timeskip to "Inútil"]

Madison: Oh, so this is Nina's dad's reaction to the bad news? 

Veronica: Okay, I'm confused. Who's he calling useless?

Me: He's saying he feels useless.

Mulligan: Oh, his story's sad! 

Eliza: What a dedicated person and father!

Hamilton: Hey, I worked my way up, too!

Burr: Uh, Alex, you're NOT the only one!

Nina: (Crying) Lo siento, papá...

[Timeskip to "No Me Diga"]

Daniela: Ooh, things are gonna get good!

Carla:...y tú lo sabes!

Angelica: Usnavi did what with who, now?

Philip: Whew! I'm glad that's not true.

Mulligan: Ha! Poor Carla, so innocent...

Eliza: Wait, he's got a WHAT?! (Covers Philip's ears)

Philip: MA! I'M NINETEEN!

Peggy: I agree with Nina. I don't wanna know where Daniela got that.

Madison: Oh, they don't know about Nina yet...

Burr: Well, that's ONE way to tell them!

Peggy: Yeah, I agree with Vanessa. What the h**l happened?!

Eliza: Peggy! Language!

[Timeskip to "96,000"]

Heather D.: What's all this fuss about $96,000?

Me: That's a lot of money, quite frankly.

Carla: Oooh... that Donald Trump line's gonna be a problem for the movie. Are they gonna change it?

Me: I think so. If I'm correct, they're gonna replace his name with Tiger Woods.

Catherine Parr: Wait, why will it be a problem?

Me: Okay, so Donald Trump is the current President of the United States. This was way before he became President, and he... let's just say if they keep the line for the movie, he's gonna throw a hissy fit.

Philip: (Rapping along) My money's making money, I'm going from po' to mo' dough! Keep the bling, I want a brass ring like Frodo!

Angelica and Eliza: (Gasp) WHAT DID PETE JUST SAY?!

Peggy: Okay, this is my new favorite song!

Burr: I actually agree with Usnavi on this.

Usnavi: THANK YOU!

Veronica: Well, it just turned into one big dance party!

[Timeskip to "Paciencia y Fe"]

Me: This song is pretty deep. I am a child of immigrant parents, so...

Hamilton: Yep, this song is totally relatable.

J.D.: Wait, SHE won the lotto?

Heather M.: Yep! And she totally deserved it!

[Timeskip to "When You're Home"]

Peggy: Awww, I ship so hard!

Anne Boleyn: Same!!

Eliza: Oh, Benny's taking her down the memory lane!

Benny: And it's true! Everything's easier when Nina's home!

Everyone but Jefferson, Madison, Burr, and Hamilton: (Singing) Ms. Rosario, welcome home! Ma'am, you've been off in Stanford for so long!

Jefferson: (To Nina) Hey! That's my line! Don't say it!

Nina: Oh, I'm gonna say it! So what'd I miss? (Strikes a pose)

Jefferson: Dadgummit!

[Timeskip to "Piragua"]

Mulligan: So... this is a whole song... about piraguas?

Me: Yep!

Mulligan: I LOVE IT!

Usnavi: And we love piraguas!

[Timeskip to "The Club"]

Lafayette: Ooh! I love the start!

J.D.: Heh... Usnavi's so awkward!

Heather M.: It looks like all the guys like her.

Vanessa: Mmm-hmm...

Angelica: Benny, why did you just brush Nina off like that?

Benny: I was angry about what happened at the scene before, AND I was drunk so...

Everyone who ships Benny x Nina, aka 99.9999999% of the people here: NO! Please don't let the ship sink!

Hamilton: Hey, what just happened?

[Timeskip to "Blackout"]

Anne Boleyn: Ah! It's chaotic! I like it!

Catherine of Aragon: Of course you like it.

Angelica: Aww... even though they fought, Nina is looking for Benny!

Benny: And I was looking for her!

Usnavi: (during the Sonny and Pete part) So THIS is what you were up to?! And he has CONTRABAND!

Laurens: Usnavi, chill!

Peggy: Wait, what's Daniela saying?

Catherine of Aragon: "Mira, mi amor, hazme un favor, despierta la abuela y lo mejor tiene una vela, estuve bailando cuando vino el apagón, aquí hay gente, pero no sé quienes son,"

Peggy: That's great! I wish I knew what that meant!

The "Heights" characters: Ay....

Usnavi: Wait, you know Spanish?

Catherine of Aragon: I'm from Spain.

[At the end of the song, when Benny and Nina kiss]

Everyone: (Freaks out/fanboy/girl-ing)

Me: Okay, no intermission this time. Let's go straight to act two.

[Timeskip to "Sunrise"]

Katherine Howard: Oh my gosh! They are so cute together!

Heather M.: Awww...

Heather D.: (Under her breath) This is so cheezy!

Peggy: Awww... this is so sweet!

[Timeskip to "Hundreds of Stories"]

Heather D.: So THAT'S how Usnavi got his name!

[Timeskip to "Enough"]

Heather D.: Well, Camila finally snapped!

Laurens: That she did.

Philip: Ha! Sounds like something my mom would do.

[Timeskip to "Carnaval del Barrio"]

Me: I LOVE THIS SONG!

Peggy: It's groovy! (Dances to the beat)

Anna of Cleves: Okay, this is my new jam!

Anne Boleyn: No! Usnavi's leaving?

Catherine of Aragon: ALZA LA BANDERA! (Waves the flag of Spain again)

Madison: Wait, why is Nina looking so worried.

Me: Oh, no...

[Timeskip to "Attención"]

Everyone: (Running around, crying) NO!!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!!

[Timeskip to "Alabanza"]

Catherine of Aragon: (Sings along) Alabanza... alabanza a doña Claudia, Señor, alabanza... 

Everyone else: (Crying or speechless)

[Timeskip to "Everything I Know"]

Anna of Cleves: Oh, Nina's going through memories she had with Abuela Claudia!

Sonny: Ha! I saw that picture of Usnavi!

Usnavi: Don't...you...dare tell anyone about it!

Peggy: So Nina's going back to Stanford?

Me: Yep, she decides to give college another try.

[Timeskip to "No Me Diga (Reprise)"]

Madison: So Usnavi had Daniela cosign for Vanessa's apartment!

Daniela: Yep! I would do anything for her except support her mother's dysfunction.

Peggy: That's so sweet of him!

[Timeskip to "Piragua (Reprise)"]

Mulligan: WHOO! THE PIRAGUA GUY IS BACK!

[Timeskip to "Champagne"]

Usnavi: Oh my gosh, I remember this!

Vanessa: Why weren't you listening to what I was saying to you, though?

Burr: Vanessa is actually right.

[Timeskip to "When The Sun Goes Down"]

Peggy: Yay! Another Benny and Nina song!

Nina: (Blushes)

[Timeskip to "Finale"]

Veronica: Well, it all comes back full circle!

Burr: Yep!

Catherine Parr: Wait, Usnavi's staying? He's staying!

Sonny:...and it's all because of me and Pete!

Peggy: He's home!

[The musical ends]

Me: Okay, so how did you like "In The Heights"?

J.D.: It was super cool! I can't wait for the movie?

Me: Me, too! I'm so hyped!

Anne Boleyn: It was so good! When does the movie come out?

Me: June 26, 2020.

Anne Boleyn: June 26... WAH-HUHHHH?????

Usnavi: It felt so good to be reliving those memories! I'm so glad I stayed.

Everyone: Us, too!

Laurens: I liked it! It was awesome!

Me: Yep! And your actor will be playing Usnavi in the movie!

Laurens: You serious?

Me: Yep! Okay! That's all the time we have for today! Bye!

Usnavi: Feel free to leave questions or requests! See you next time!