"How lonely you are" a voice appears... while I was standing here looking his car drives away..

"Seoul is already dirty enough with your existence. Go back quick" I say

"Haha... as rude as ever Oh Sehun ssi"

"Says by someone who's a crackhead"

It's... Lee Ryuu of course... my mood is already destroyed and ... he's making it more

"Seem like you are no longer B's favourite, newbie's skill is no joke ... to take your place"

"That doesn't concern you... why are you everywhere like a cursed soul?"

"Haha... cursed soul. Nice one. I'm here to meet Mr. Jang, the photographer of your today's shoot"

"Then go ahead."

"Seems like he's trying hard to protect you"

"Why would he protect me?"

"Because he even gave up his body to me for you. Isn't it protecting?"

"What... what the fuck you are saying?"

"What? Hahaha.. you don't know? Byun Baekhyun sucked my cock for you. How's your father? Did he win the election?"

"Cut the shits and tell me!"

I can't act recklessly since there are staffs around.

"A month ago? After exposing Park Chanyeol's scandal....I wanted his body so much that I can't help but....told him, if he doesn't sleep with me, I might expose that you are gay and .... effect your father. Then, he came right away that night. I was like.. ah.... indeed Oh Sehun is really important to him"

"Get lost.... before I punch your face and make all your teeth come out" I say and clench my fist

"Haha.. well, everything is in past. He's now staying away from you because of that I think. If I want him again, I might attack Park chanyeol from now on. So. Take care Oh Sehun ssi" he says and leaves me ..

I just stand there without knowing what to do anymore..
Guilt...
Shame...
Regret....
Self blame?

Emotions... just overload and thoughts...

Why... why I didn't .. listen to him?
That day...

What have you done... Oh Sehun...
What have you done?

I quickly take out my phone and dial his number but...

He doesn't pick up.

I text him

'Let's meet up. I'm free tomorrow so, I will come to your house'

————————————————————
Baekhyun's POV

"Where are you going? This early?" Chanyeol asks me while he just wakes up and still in bed

"I... have a schedule" I say

"Really? How about breakfast?"

"I won't die just from 1 breakfast missed" I say as I go and sit on bed beside him

"You are so cute and I really love it" he says lazying under blanket

"I don't really like being called cute tho"

"But you are cute and you were really sexy last night"

"Ya!" I say and chuckle "I'll be back... anything you want me to get?"

"No.. please come back quick"

"Imm... it will be" I say

"Lunch?"

"Yes.. I'll be back"

Actually... Sehun texted me last night, that to meet up.
I replied this morning and tell him not to come to my house and we will meet outside.

And as I get outside of my house, he's already there with his car.

For some reason, I don't want chanyeol to know. Strange feeling.

I get into his car and he drives off.
No talking on car or anything.
It was cold.

'How are you?'
'What were you up to these days?'
'Have you been doing well?'
'Were you just at home lately?'
'Are you meeting up with anyone?'

Questions... that were not asked.

Without a word, we arrive at a restaurant.

"Just Eggs Benedict and Americano" I say

"Please get me the same" he says

And now... awkward again.

"How... were you?" He starts

"Great. As usual. You?"

"Imm... so so"

"So, what is it ... you want to talk about?"

"I.... kinda run into Lee Ryuu. Why... why didn't you tell me? That.."

"You.... didn't listen."

"Hyung.."

"I tried Sehun ya....may be because you were angry at me, I didn't get a chance to. Even after what I did with Lee Ryuu, you were the first person to come to my mind but, you said.... let's not meet up so.."

"It's different hyung..... if it's the case then.."

"Sehun ya... how much I have to tell you the things I want? Sometime no... most of the times I just wished you would know.. you would be the first person to come to me after that.

But park chanyeol ssi was there. No you.

And .... *sigh* Sehun ya.... I don't want to talk about the past anymore"

"I'm sorry"

"It's okay."

"I want to be with you" he says

"Sehun ya.... I...."

"Hyung please... let's get back to how things were. It is me who is supposed to be by your side. It's me... not chanyeol.

I need you hyung.... I ... I can't live without you"

I can't help but... tear up...

"No.... Sehun ya... "

"Do you love me? You do and I know that. Do you love chanyeol? No.. it's just because he was there at those times doesn't mean ..... you are in love with him"

"No..... He changed me in ways.... that you didn't try to...
he showed me his emotions, thoughts..
He said those words out loud. How much he wants me... how much he needs me..."

"But he's not your end game"

"Sehun ya..."

"I will be the end of you.... now.. stop crying.." he says

End game .... huh....

.............................

After breakfast, he drives me back to my house.

"Is he... I mean....are you two living together?" He asks

"Yes."

"I will contact you often. Please go out for meals with me."

"I'll think. Take care" I say and get out of the car

He also get out of the car ... "Hyung.."

"You can go back now"

"I'm going to miss you" he says

And at that time....my house gates open and chanyeol comes out..

The timing.

"Ah... Ji-ah asked me who's the one that you are going out right now. I didn't say and she said, she understands. Because in the end, you and her will be together" Sehun says to chanyeol

"Aren't you cold? Let's go inside B." chanyeol says

"Aw... Imm" I say

"I will contact you again hyung" Sehun says

I just ignore him and get back into my house with chanyeol

He might be... mad.

Why does he have to come out at the right time.?

"Ah... were you going somewhere?" I ask when we get inside my house

"Mart."

"Imm.... what are you going to cook for lunch?"

"I don't know"

He's angry.

"I'm ... sorry for not telling you" I say

He hugs me... "You don't need to. Just stay with me" he says

"I... I am"

———————————————————

S - aww.. Ji-ah ya.. how are you?

J - Sehun ya.. I'm good. Did you get anything information? That who .... chanyeol is meeting?

S - imm... I kind of found out but...

J - but what?

S - Don't get too shock.. okay?

J - I won't. Why? He's meeting older woman?

S - no... actually...

J - imm

S - he's kind of going out with.... our company's boss.. the designer B... you know?

J - ......... what... do you mean... Sehun ya.

S - imm... He's kind of in love with ...

J - Sehun ya... stop joking. I know that the designer B is a man. I'm not that dumb

S - Ji-ah ya...

J - he's..... dating ... a man?

S - imm...

J - impossible.... he's....

S - I'm sorry for telling you this

J - no... i mean... thank you.. for telling.

S - I think you have to stop him, Ji-ah ya... he seems quite serious. Sometime, in relationship, you must also act protective. Giving freedom... is such a waste sometimes.

J - aww... I got it. Take care Sehun ya..

S - you too.

———————————————————————
Hello guys! Here's another update for today.
How's my today's Musings? Did you guys enjoy it?
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