Chapter 1

Colt Pov

I'm sitting on a high chair drinking hard liquor that I ordered earlier. The dancing neon lights make me dizzy. Kanina pa ako umiinom mag-isa. I don't mind drinking alone since I'm already used to it.

May ilang babae na ang lumapit sa akin pero di ko sila pinapansin. Noon naman nagugustuhan ko ang mga ganoon. I used to enjoy how the girls flocked their bodies on me, but now I find it boring.

I've never thought about Lorcan's sudden death. I'm very thankful to him, and I looked him up. He taught me everything from business to our organization. I see him as my family. But now that he is gone, I think something inside me is also gone. A piece of me is also gone. 

Magsisinungaling ako kung sasabihin ko na di ako nagalit o naiinggit kay Lorcan. May anak siya, may pamilya siya despite of his sour attitudes, mahal at mahalaga pa rin siya sa mga taong nakapaligid sa kanya kaya minsan ay naiingit ako.

But when Clayton came... iyon iyong mga panahon na gusto kong kontrahin din si Lorcan. Obviously, it's not in our plan to make Clayton his toy. The plan was only to lure Christiano, Clayton's father-stepfather. And at that time, I knew that I also liked Clayton. Yeah, I like him. I get jealous of him and Lorcan, but I don't want to become Lorcan's rival, so I become content to be Clayton's friend. Whenever I was with him before, I used to act in front of him. And try to show him the good version of myself. I used to smile a lot when I was with him. It was a genuine smile. And he is the first person na sinabihan ko tungkol sa nakaraan ko. Coz, yeah, I feel comfortable with him. 

I still have some feelings for Clayton, but not as much as I used to. I saw him suffering from Lorcan's death. It hurts. It hurt to see him crying, but what could I do? I'm not a saint to make the dead come to life. 

Inubos ko ang inumin ko saka tumayo dahil naiihi ako. Napahawak ako doon sa counter dahil biglang umikot ang mundo ko. Iniling ko ang ulo ko dahil parang sumasayaw na ang paligid ko.

Pasuray-suray akong tumungo sa CR at laking pasalamat ko na nakapasok pa ako doon. Napapasandal na ako sa ulo ko sa dingding dahil sa kalasingan ko.

After I peed, I still washed my hands. As I walked out of the comfort room, my head bumped into something hard.  Aakalain ko na sanang kahoy iyon o semento o bakal kaso nang masinghap ko ang amoy noon nalaman ko doon na tao pala iyong nabangga ko.

I held my head up and then I saw a pair of hazel eyes. Parang magkasing tangkad lang kami. He also smelled alcohol, but his manly and strong perfume dominated the latter. 

Our eyes locked into each other to the point that I didn't know how to take my eyes away from his hazel eyes. Umatras ako pero dahil sa kalasingan ko ay muntik pa akong matumba and I was fortunate that he was fast enough to grasp my waist. 

Napasinghap ako sa amoy niya para na akong nilalasing noon.

"Be careful."  His raspy and airy voice unconsciously makes my body react to it.

I felt something inside me creep.

My body and mind are driven by alcohol. I held his arms and claimed his mouth. Alcohol made me do it. Blame it on the fucking alcohol. He didn't respond to my kisses. As if he was still internalizing what the hell was happening. And when I got satisfied with his lips and mouth, I pushed him away and started to walk away, wiping my wet chin. 

I had only made a couple of strides when someone yanked me and pushed my body against the cold wall and kissed the hell out of me. My eyes went round because of shock and surprise. That's when I realized that the man whom I had kissed earlier was now kissing the hell out of me.

He is sucking and playing with my tongue with his eyes shut. I can not move. I'm unable to raise my hands to push or punch him.I just watched him devour my mouth. The loud sound from the stereo didn't hinder me from hearing his noisy, wet, and deep kisses. His moans every time he sucked mine. 

Hindi na ako makaisip pa ng maayos. Siguro dahil sa alak. Siguro dahil lasing na ako kaya hindi ko siya magawang itulak at hinayaan ko lang siyang halikan ako.

He opened his eyes while still kissing me and when our eyes met, parang may isang mahika ang kanyang mata na parang hinihila ang mata ko na pumikit. With that, I closed my eyes. I wrapped my hands around his neck and responded to his perilous and hot kisses. I returned his kisses with the same intensity and ferociously. 

And I didn't know how we ended up in a hotel room fucking each other. I also didn't know how I ended up on the fucking receiving end. It was my first time being a bottom and I think he overdid it because the next day I felt like my butt was fucking burning and I could not even take a seat because it damn hurts when I do. 

Thankfully, when I woke up that morning, he wasn't around. I woke up alone. The bed was messy, but my body was clean. That's enough for me to feel satisfied and content. But what I damn well regret is that I let the guy fuck me instead of me fucking him.  Hindi ko pa alam ang pangalan niya. As a result, I need to extend my stay in the hotel because my body is aching. Tho nakakaya ko ang sakit sa katawan ko but my back and hole there is firing. Dammit!

And I thought after that night that I wouldn't be able to see his damn face. I thought I wouldn't be able to hear his voice again. I thought I wouldn't be able to see the smug in his face, but all of that is fucking wrong. It's been months since that day, and I also thought that I had already forgotten that night, but here I am. The memories of him came crashing into my mind. Here I am totally and definitely annoyed by the man before me. 

"What do you want, you fucker?" I asked him after I pushed him away from me.

Lumayo ako sa gago na tuwang-tuwa sa akin. Bullshit! Of all the fucking people in the world  bakit itong tao pa na ito ang nasa harapan ko ngayon. He seems to be enjoying my fucking face right now. Damn it.

"Ikaw ba talaga si Mr. Yagami?" tanong ko sa kanya at napakagat siya sa kanyang labi.

"I'm hurt." Pag-iinarte niya at humawak pa siya sa dibdib niya as if na nasasaktan siya doon. Mamamatay pa siya d'yaan ay wala akong pakialam. Mamatay man siya sa sakit ng dibdib niya ay wala akong pakialam.

"Sumagot ka nang maayos sa akin, gago ka." Nagpipigil na ako dito na huwag siyang sigawan. Hindi ako natatakot kung siya ang may ari ng buong building na ito. Wala akong pakialam kung ipakaladkad niya ako sa mga security guards niya. Basta ngayon gusto ko lang siyang murahin nang murahin.

"I'm not a Yagami, Colton."

Bigla akong nainis sa sinabi niya at napasuklay sa buhok ko gamit ang daliri ko.

"Tang ina. Edi wala pa lang saysay itong pagpunta ko dito. Sige aalis na a-"

"Don't leave yet. We still have business that needs to be talk about, no?"

Tumaas ang gilid ng labi ko sa sinabi niya. "Hindi naman ikaw si Mr. Yagami kaya aalis na ako at hindi mo ako mapipigilan."

"I'm here on behalf of my friend. Mr. Yagami is my friend, and I'm here on his behalf. What a fate, no?"

"Gago, kainan mo 'yang fate-fate mo."

"Why don't you take a seat  first, Colton?" aniya at giniya pa ang kamay niya sa leather na upuan sa likod ko.

Hindi ko iyon pinansin. "Tigilan mo nga kaka-Colton sa akin." pambabara ko sa kanya.

"Oh, which do you prefer? Babe? Hon? Baby? Love?"

"Fuck you!" saad ko at itinaas ko ang gitnang daliri ko sa kanya. Wala nang business-business ethics ito. Bahala na kung ano ang mangyari dito ngayon.

Sinundan ng mata ko ang bawat galaw niya. Pumunta siya doon sa mini bar at kumuha ng brandy at baso. Halos isumpa ko na nga ang mga alak dahil sa nangyari sa noong nakaraang buwan. Kaya nga naglie-low muna ako. Di na nga ako pumupunta sa mga bar kahit na pag-aari ko pa. Yes, I do own some exclusive bars here in Manila especially around BGC and Makati.

Umupo siya sa kabilang upuan.

"Sabihin mo na sa akin kung ano ang sasabihin mo sa akin o kung ano mang business ang sinasabi mo dahil aalis na ako." Saad ko na kinatigil niya saglit sa pagbukas noong brandy. Tumigil siya saka ako tiningnan pero binalik niya rin naman ang mata niya doon sa hawak niya at binuksan.

Nagsalin siya sa dalawang baso na dala niya at tinulak ang isang baso sa akin. Tsk! Akala niya talaga iinom ako. Wala nga akong breakfast.

"I learned of Lorcan's death." saad niya at nagde-kuatro. "Did you know that Lorcan and I are also pals?"

Kumunot ang noo ko sa kanya. Matagal ko nang kilala si Lorcan kaso wala naman siyang nababanggit na kaibigan niya maliban kay Raphael. At sa tagal ko nang kilala si Lorcan ni di ko man siya nakilala o nakita ni isang beses kahit na sa mga social gatherings na pinupuntahan namin. Kaya papaano sila naging magkaibigan ni Lorcan?

"Ako ba pinagloloko mo? Saka ano ba ang pangalan mo?"

"Oh, I'm hurt." Aya na naman siya sa pag-iinarte niya. Akala niya bagay sa kanya iyon. Tsk! Nagmumukha lang siyang asong ulol. Nakakainis pang tingnan dahil kapag ngumingisi siya o tumatawa nawawala ang mata niyang singkit!

"Sagutin mo ako ng maayos." Nanggigil kong wika sa kanya.

"Hmm, yes love. My name is Johannes Dwyer."

Napataas ako sa kilay ko dahil mukha namang American ang pangalan niya kaso... mukhang may lahi siyang Chinese? Korean? O Japanese. Singkit kasi.

"E, hindi pala ikaw ang pakay ko dito kaya aalis na ako." Akmang tatayo na sana ako nang biglang sumeryoso ang mukha niya sa akin.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mayroon sa kanyang serysosong mukha pero kusang napatigil ang katawan ko doon. Napabalik ako sa pagkakaupo ko. Damn. Who is this Johannes Dwyer? Why does he have this kind of aura? Like Lorcan's aura...

"Like what I've told you. I'm here on my friend's behalf. I manage Yagami's business here in the Philippines."

"And what is it to me? Or kay Lorcan?"

Bumalik siya mula sa pagkakahilig niya sa upuan niya habang di tinatanggal ang mata sa akin.

"I need some protection."

"Protection?"

"Yes protection. Many people are hunting my head, so I need protection."

Tumawa ako sa kanya. "Mali ka ata ng taong nilapitan."

"I didn't. Lorcan once told me that he had the most reliable men in the underground world. Maybe it will be in intelligence, physical combat, or arms. He said that whenever I came here in the Philippines, he would provide me with a bodyguard who could protect me from any harm."

Napatagis ako sa bagang ko. Ganyan pala ka proud sa amin si Lorcan.

"I didn't know back then who the hell Colt Pauling was until I saw your pictures early in the morning on my desk. It was fate that brought you here, love."

Nainiis na naman ako sa huling sinabi niya. Pinalampas ko na sana siya sa una e.

"Paano kung di ako ang pumunta dito? Paano kung si Desmond ang pumunta dito iyan pa rin ba ang sasabihin mo?"

"I will still tell him that you're the one whom Lorcan recommends to guard me while I'm here in your country."

"Ngayon mo lang talaga ako nakilala? Basi sa sinasabi mo mukha namang matagal na kayong may usapan ni Lorcan." sabi ko sa kanya.

Napabuntong-hininga siya. "Actually, hindi ko na matandaan kung kailan 'yan sinabi ni Lorcan but just around this year tumawag ako sa kanya na pupunta ako dito and gladly his words still stand until now. And he said he'd let me borrow Colt Pauling for a while. And that time, I didn't bother to know who Colt Pauling was until one night, when I met a guy in a bar. Drunk. Tipsy. Then something happened that I couldn't get off my mind. I've been thinking about him ever since that night.So, I found him, and I didn't know until now that Colton and Colt were actually the same person. I thought they were just related to one another. Isn't it a coincidence?"

And that leave me speechless. I was here praying that na sana di na siya makita pero siya naman hinahanap pala ako. What a bullshit!?

___