Chapter 7

Dareen Pov

That damn Raphael Laurence Marcet doesn't have an ounce of being a gentlemen on his bones. He knows that I twisted my ankle yet he left me here at the island counter. Gwapong I mean gagong, Marcet! Earlier, he tend my ankle and yes it helps a lil but does he really needs to leave me here? Fuck that Marcet! I would love him to bang me... ahem! I would like to bang his head on the wall.

I can't help it but to roll my eyes when I slowly moved my body to get the hell down! I shouldn't let that Marcet put me in the counter. Now, I'm struggling myself. After, how many attempts, I finally succeeded. When I rested my foot on the floor. I winced. It hurts!

I look around the kitchen to see if there are foods that is ready to be eaten or a cook food, probably. Yet, I don't see any! Obviously, Rap didn't cook! So what now? I'll be cooking with my state right now? And honestly, i don't know how to cook. I only know how to eat. What am I gonna do now? It's really a total punishment, huh!

Dito pa talaga ako magku-cooking lesson sa bahay ni Rap. Nakakatakot pa naman hawakan ang mga gamit niya dito sa formal kitchen. Almost everything that my eyes can see is seems to be glittering. His torqouise theme kitchen that was accentuated with color gold moldings was just too pleasurable for the eyes. That's why I told myself not to touch anything in this kitchen instead I go to the house auxiliary kitchen. I scoffed when I reach to his staff's kitchen. Lamang lang ito ng ilang paligo ang formal kitchen niya dito. But thanks god! His staff's kitchen's kitchen wares are not as classy as what his formal kitchen have.

I roamed my eyes around to look something that i can eat. And I settle i saw a cup of noodles on his stockroom. Actually maraming pwedeng lutuin doon: maraming naka-stock pero hindi ko naman alam kung papaano iyon lutuin kaya nag-settle ako sa noodles. Dammit! Kahit na paika-ika ang lakad ko ay nagtiis ako. Hindi ako nakakain kagabi sobrang pagda-diet na iyon. Baka maging kalansay na ako paglabas ko sa pamamahay na ito.

I'm not dumb like what Rap' said and read the instructions on how to cook this cup noodles. Tskk! EASY! I just need to boil a water and add on it then viola, I can finally eat my breakfast. I know that this noodles will not suffice my hungry stomach pero wala akong mapagpipilian.

I waited a minute for the water to boil. Nang kumulo ito sa sobrang galak ko dahil gutom na gutom na ako ay diretso kong hinawakan ang takip ng casserol.

"Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!" binitawan ko ang takip at waft my hands. A tear came out from my precious eyes.

"A fucking klutz indeed." i looked at the person who hastily walks towards me. Rap hauled my hands and look at my red palm. A sudden bolts run from my hands straight to my heart and my heat skip a beat. Jutay kang bakla ka! Ano iyon? Ito ba iyong spark?

I drag me to the sink and have my hands under the faucet and it immediately pours a water. Wow! Ano pa ba ang bagay na hindi censored sa bahay na ito. Sa kabila ng panghahapdi sa kamay ko ay namangha pa talaga ako sa faucet.

"Bat ka bumalik?" tanong ko habang hawak niya pa rin ang kamay ko na nasa ilalim pa rin ng faucet.

"I almost forget that I have a dumb pet here. That's why."

Mangha akong tumingin sa kanya. Na walang emosyon ang mukha. "Ako ba ang tinutukoy mo?"

"Better that you know." saad niya habang nakatitig lang ang mata sa kamay kong nasa ilalim ng faucet. Hindi man lang siya na-intimidate sa mga precious... I mean matatalim na titig ko!

"What are you trying to do?"

"I'm trying to make myself a food because my grandpa leaves me!"

The gorgeous forehead creased but his expression remain stern and stoical. "Granpa? Are you referring to me?"

"Better that you know." i mimicked but his grip on my waist tighten. Tighten that made me grimaced.

"Told you this grandpa can cripple you if I want to."

Umikot ang eyeballs ko dahil sa sinabi niya. Ang dali talagang uminit ng ulo ng lalaking ito! Bwesit! I was about to repound when an unpleasant sound came out from my stomach. Without a leavetaking Rap pulled me out of the auxiliary kitchen and we go to his formal kitchen again.

"Rap, have you forget that I twisted my ankle earlier?" i reminded him.

He just stare at my swollen ankle. It swollen a bit. He just shrugged and went to his pace to somewhere. Hindi man lang nag-sorry. Ang bait! Ang bait talaga!

"Stay." saad niya saka tumalima na naman. Konting-konti nalang at mababato ko na talaga ang lalaking iyon!

After a minutes he arrived together with the cup noodles on his hands. Yes, he did cooked the noodles a left earlier.

"Magtiis ka dyan. Kung gusto mong kumain ng iba magluto ka para sa sarili mo. And also I will leave for good so don't be so stupid."

Kinuha ko ang cup noodles. "Hindi mo na kailangang ipaalala yan. Saka tigilan mo nga ang kakatawag sa akin ng stupid, grandpa." i called him again to the nickname that I make.

"You know what for a man you're so talkative and very clumsy."

"I'm not an ordinary man." i said and started to eat.

"What do you mean?"

"I am gay," I look at his startled face. "I am gay, Rap." amin ko sa kanya.

His perfect jaws moved. "You should pack your things and go back to your home. I hate gays, Dareen." he said without hesitations.

My hands... no my body halts. "You hate gays?"" i repeated but he didn't respond. "Give me a reason why you hate gays."

"I just hate gays." he replied blankly.

"You know i cannot go home Rap. My father hated me, too. I only have my mother but my mother cannot protect from my dad y'know..." yumuko ako upang di niya makita ang pamumula ng mata ko. "I like your house, Rap but I hate to be here... at first. I hate that I was being sent in here. This is not my life. I don't have money. I don't have my phone. I don't have any from me right now, Rap. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ka pumayag na patirahin ako dito. Hindi ko alam kung papaano ka napapayag ng daddy ko pero salamat pa rin kasi binigyan mo ako ng magandang kwarto dito sa napakaganda mong bahay. Pero kung ayaw mo naman ako dito. Aalis ako Rap. Aalis ako kung ayaw mo. I don't like forcing myself to anyone, again. Cause..." i stopped in midway, my tears fall. Tama na ang pagsiksik ko sa sarili ko noon kay Geoffrey. Tama na naipinagsiksikan ko ang sarili ko sa taong ayaw naman pala sa akin.

I don't know what's his reason is kung bakit may galit siya sa mga kagaya ko at hindi ko na rin siya tatanungin pa ulit dahil wala akong karapatan. Nasa pamamahay niya ako. Nasa pamamahay niya ako at tinanggap niya ako dito kahit na di niya rin ako kilala. Given nana hindi siya mabait, na masungit siya, na madaling uminit ang ulo niya, na hindi siya marunong sumakay sa mga biro ko, na laging malamig ang ekspresyon niya, na wala siyang binibigay na emosyon. Pero sa pagtanggap niya dito sa akin ay ayos na iyon kaysa naman dun sa iba na baka sa labas pa ako pinatira dahil kahit nga sa sarili kong ama pinagkatulakan pa ako.

I wiped my tears.

"Dareen..."

"I'm sorry Rap. Yes, aalis din ako mag-iimpake ako ngayon din. Ayaw ko talagang ipilit na ang sarili ko Rap. Ayaw na ayaw ko na dahil nandun na ako. Nandun na ako at ako lang din ang nasaktan sa ginawa kong iyon." Wala man sa paksa namin ni Rap iyon pero gusto ko iyong ilabas. Gusto kong ilabas ang sakit na nararamdaman ko.

I'm also tired. I'm very... very tired. I'm tired of pretending. I'm tired of acting like I wasn't in pain when I am hurting so much. Ayaw kong magmukha akong kaawa-awa sa harapan ni Rap pero umiyak ako. I cried like a lost child looking for his mother. I needed a hand to help but there's none. No one lend me a hand.

When I ended my relationship with Geoffrey it hurt. It hurt so much because I like him for so long. I stay loyal to him but he wasn't. He did wrong but I always forgive him because he accepts me. But he stabbed me too in my heart. I bleed because of him. Yes, I may forget what he did to me but the lesson that I gained from it I will forever bring it. I may get hurt by that fucker but I know there someone out there whom is for me.

When I went here i forgot my problems, worries, and pain. Rap's house makes me forget everything. Even his awful attitudes made me forget everything. That's why i wanna stay here. But if he is not okay with it will gladly leave this house.

Pinalis ko ang luha ko. Tama na ang arte Dareen. I talked to myself. Hindi na muling umimik pa si Rap kaya kinapalan ko na ang mukha ko ay inubos ko ang noodles. He just look at me with the same expressions. Pagkatapos kong kumain ay paika-ika akong umalis sa kitchen at iniwan doon sa Rap. Bumalik ako sa kwarto ko at sinimulan ko ng i-impake ulit ang damit ko. Kung sana alam ko na mapapaalis din agad ako sana pala hindi ko na nilabas ang mga damit ko. Nakakabwesit lang. After packing my things. I look at the whole room for the last time and head out.