Chapter 33

Raphael Pov

When I woke up the next morning, a thick blanket was wrapped around me, and even with the thick blanket, I knew that below I was naked. I feel so sticky and wet. My head is throbbing so badly. I got off the bed with my blurry sight. I rubbed my eyes, and that's when I saw a lot of used condoms on the floor. 

My body automatically sits back on the bed while eyeing the used condoms scattered on the floor. Fuck! What the hell did I do?  Napasapo ako sa ulo ko at saka na bumuhos sa akin ang nangyari. Parang mga malalaking patak ng ulan ang mga alala na bumuhos sa akin. What the hell did I do to Dareen? Did I really hurt him? Dammit! I cannot believe that I called him... Rhian. Why the hell did I call him by the name of my late wife? 

Nagulo ko ang buhok ko at napatingin sa kama ko. Wala doon si Dareen. Tumingin ako sa wallclock at alas nuebe na.I got up and started cleaning my room. And when I cleaned up my bed, there was a blood stain on the bedsheet. 

Napahasa ako sa bagang ko at natapon ko ang comforter na hawak ko sahig. Suot ang tanging boxer ay lumabas ako sa kwarto ko at bumaba.

"DAREEN!" I shouted as soon as I came down.

Dumiretso ako sa kwarto niya at walang katok kong binuksan ang pintuan. Nang makita kong walang tao sa kama at parang may biglang gumapang na malamig na hangin sa buong katawan ko. I casted my eyes from his bed and eyed on his closet. Napahilamos ako sa palad ko nang makita kong bukas iyon at wala nang laman. Wala na rin ang maleta niya doon sa ibabaw ng closet niya. I can't even find Snow.

"Fucking shit!" I murmured.

Umalis na talaga siya. Di na ako tuluyan pang pumasok doon sa kwarto niya at babalik na sana ako sa kwarto ko nang mahagip ng mata ko ang island counter sa formal kitchen. Instead of going to my room. Dumaan ako sa kusina at nakita ko doon ang isang tasa ng kape at may note pa iyon.

My hands were trembling as I picked up the note. 

'Maybe, it would be my last coffee for you, Rap. It's such a shame na malamig na ito kapag nakita mo. Kaya i-reheat mo na lang. I'm sorry Rap but I'm leaving. Thank you for everything. ILY<3'

Mapakla akong napatingin doon sa kape na ginawa ni Dareen. Napakuyom ang kamao ko at nalukot ko iyong note na iniwan ni Dareen para sa akin. I took the cup of coffee and, out of my frustration and anger, nabato ko ang tasa sa dingding at nagpipiraso iyon na nahulog sa sahig. The white and shiny wall was stained with coffee.

I'm not sure what was causing my hands to tremble so badly.I cannot decipher if it is because of anger, frustration, or the feeling of regret. 

Jesus Christ! It's not a dream that Dareen whispered to me, confessed to me. I thought it was only a dream that he said, I love you. Dammit! He loves me. He really does. My baby. 

"AAAHHHHHH. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" I screamed and punched the island counter. "What the hell did I do, baby?" 

I turned my back on the counter and leant against it. Napaupo ako habang nakatingin doon sa basag na tasa at maruming dingding. Napakalas ng kabog ng dibdib ko. My chest moved up and down.

I fucking hurt him and he had enough with me. He could not withstand me either. I thought he could. But then what I did was beyond. I called him Rhian while I was taking him. I must have hurt his ego. I really fucked up, even if he didn't know that Rhian was my wife. What more, if he knows? Everything is messed up! Dammit, he really left. He really left me. 

"Oh my god!"

I heard Mommy's sharp voice. I slowly averted my gaze from her. Mommy put her expensive bag on the floor and took my hand—my bleeding hand. I wanted to touch Mommy's face when she was about to cry looking at my hand. Tumingin na lang ako sa kamay ko na dumudugo, may sugat at namumula. Because of my wound, I didn't feel any pain at all. Instead, I felt like my heart was being wrung. I feel like it is bleeding inside. I feel like I'm being gimped and I can't breath normally due to it.

"Remuell! Get the medicine kit! Raphael's hand is bleeding!" Mommy shouted on the top of her lungs.

"Relax, mom. This... this wound can't kill me. I even caught some bullets from my friend, yet I didn't die- "

"Shut up Raphael Laurence!" Mommy yelled.

"Shit! What the fuck are you doing with your body, son?" Daddy said and bent over to hand the medicine kit to Mommy. I saw how Mommy's hand trembled while opening the medicine kit, and Dad saw it too, so he helped Mommy open it. 

Mommy trembled with only a few small wounds, bruises, and blood. What more if he sees me catch a bullet from my friend? 

"What happened?" Mommy asked as she cleaned my wound using alcohol. I winced when the sting got in. 

Mommy and Daddy had always been so open to us, so we did as Ralph and I always told our parents about our lives, relationships, and so forth. But I learned to keep a secret from them when I entered the underground world. I don't want them to get worried. My dad didn't follow in my grandfather's footsteps, and so did Ralph. But I have changed since my wife died. I wanted to be more powerful than I was, so I asked my grandfather if I could take his position, and, little did I know, my friend Lorcan was the mafia boss. His family happened to be my family's friends too, and they're in the same organization. 

Noon man ayaw ni Mommy na pumasok sa ako sa organisasyon. Ayaw na ayaw niya iyon at umabot pa nga sa punto na binantaan ako ni Mommy na papalayasin niya ako kapag ako ang sumunod sa yapak ni Lolo kaso buo na ang desisyon ko noon. Kaya ang gusto ko pa rin ang nasunod. But eventually when Mommy saw how I survive in this world and strive for myself. She embraced me again in her arms.

"Your father always tells me, Raphael, to not get into your life since you are already old. But, as your mother, I can't help myself. I feel like you've grown so much that I cannot reach you, Rap. You've changed so much."

I sighed and flicked an eye at my dad. Daddy just shrugged his shoulders. Using my free hand, I reached for Mommy's wet face. She is crying. 

"I'm still your son, mom." I said and wiped her freshly shed tears.

"But not our baby anymore."

I laughed and mommy sneered at me.

"I'm not a baby anymore, mom, since I already have a baby."

Mommy's eyes widen a fraction upon hearing what I've said. 

"Did you get someone pregnant Raphael Laurence?!" Mommy's expression really shifted so fast from being sad to mad.She let my hand go and looked at Dad before turning her eyes on me. 

"I doubt if I can get him pregnant, mom."

Mom and dad, who were in front of me, frowned. Their eyebrows furrowed as they looked at me with confusion written all over their faces. 

"I... I think... I love Dareen, mom, dad."

Daddy's eyes went round while Mommy's jaw dropped open while her eyes were still wide. The silence enveloped us and I could hear my heartbeat clearly. 

I'm a fool for not realizing sooner that I'm already in love with him. I don't feel confident or anything because I can sense that he likes me, but I was confident that he could not leave me because he had nothing. I am certain that he will never be able to leave this house because he is a sheltered brat.Yet I was so wrong. Wala na siya dito. He really left and even had the guts to make me a coffee. 

This kind of feeling was not foreign for me. I feel this kind of emotion before. The difference was Dareen is a man and before it was my wife. But this time the emotion is stronger and deeper. I've never thought that I would fall for someone who is very opposite to me. I thought that I was still capable of loving someone after my wife and child died. I never thought that there would be someone who can warm my cold heart again. Dareen makes my heart beat mad.

Thinking about his clumsiness, his loud and sharp voice, his intentional and trying hard actions to get my attentions. I smile upon thinking about his small arms wrapped around me, when he straddled on lap and plant a small kisses on my neck. Dammit! I'm fucking whipped!

"You are surely in love, son." Mayamaya ay saad ni Daddy.

I smiled and nodded. "I really do, dad."

"At bakit ka nagkakaganito kung gusto mo si Dareen. I mean if you love him... why—"

"He left mom."

"WHAT??"

Daddy winced and covered his ears when Mommy shouted. 

"I—I did something mom..." I said and continue telling them the whole story. Gladly natatandaan ko ang mga nangyari kahapon. Habang nagkukuwento ako ay si mommy naman nanginginig na ang kamay. Siguro gusto na akong kutusan. "I call him Rhian, mom while... you know doing adult stuff..."

"That's where you screwed son." Daddy remarked.

"Yes dad... and what more if he knows that Rhian was my late wife—"

"He knows." Mom cut me off.

This time, Daddy's eyes and mine were glued to Mommy. 

"I... I told Dareen about Rhian's painting, Raphael, and that includes your past. I told him the whole story. I'm sorry, anak. I never knew that this would happen." malungkot na sabi ni Mommy at hinawakan ang kamay ko.

I took a deep breath before opening my mouth.

"Don't be sorry, mom. You just tell him the truth. And I don't have a plan to keep this secret from him either."

"Then, what are you going to do now? Saan mo siya hahanapin Raphael?" tanong ni Mommy.

I chuckled. "Finding a person is a piece of cake for me and my mom. I can find Dareen. Hindi iyon makakalayo dito." I said with assurance. Ang hindi lang ako sigurado ay kung babalik ba siya sa akin. O maniniwala ba siya na mahal ko na siya.

I saw how Dad shook his head when he heard what I said. "This is not you, Raphael Laurence. You don't run after someone."

"I will run after him, dad. He is the only one who can make my heart feel at ease. My body is finding its warmth." And that is my baby.

"So, what I did was right, huh. Bringing him here was right." Daddy said.

I smiled.

"Are you going to accept me, dad? Mom? Are you going to accept us?"

Napaahon ako mula sa pagkakahilig ko sa island counter nang biglang kurutin ni Mommy ang ilong ko.

"Silly. Pag nahanap mo na si Dareen at maging kayo, matatanggap kita. Matatanggap namin kayo."

Tumango si Daddy sa sinabi ni mommy.

"I will. I promise." buong puso kong saad. I will get my baby back no matter what.