Set after Jack's death

Female reader

~~~

It wasn't too bad a day. I had done nothing but read and perhaps update some writing all day; that was pretty much it. There were a few moments where I remembered....that incident. 

The incident that broke me.

The incident that made me cry my eyes out until I couldn't breathe.

The incident that was practically the death of me.

It's been a few months, and I'm doing better. But there's still those moments that reminded me of him. Reminded me of what we had before he decided to up and leave me.

I put on a smile for everyone after what happened, closed myself up, both literally and figuratively, and basically shut myself out from the world. I only left my apartment for food runs or basic necessities.

Tonight was like no other night, just my nightly routine that usually carried on until around 2 a.m. because I procrastinated and was lethargic like that. I didn't even need to use that much time anyway; I usually ended up just throwing on an extra large sweatshirt or t-shirt that used to be Jack's.

I was brushing my hair out after I had dried it when I heard my apartment door close with a click. It was annoying, yes, but it was a good mechanism to let me know that the door actually closed behind me. It also let me know if intruders were entering my house, such as now for example.

I quietly crept towards my doorway, making my way to the front door with my hairbrush ready as a weapon. I paused by the table right next to my bedroom, noticing the deck of cards I always kept there for emergencies. Like this one. Switching the hairbrush for the cards, I palmed them and got ready to throw at a moment's notice, silently placing the box back onto the table. 

I felt tears prick my eyes but I blinked hard, pushing the tears away. I couldn't do that now. I couldn't remember those memories with him now. I couldn't afford to cry now. Not when the situation at hand was a life-or-death situation.

The intruder busied themself in the kitchen; I think they were making themselves a sandwich. Their back was turned towards me, and I saw their top half was covered by a navy blue sweatshirt. The hood must've been on because I saw it was slowly falling off their head, leaving the hair underneath it slightly ruffled. The figure's build looked more masculine than feminine as well.

It might've just been me not getting enough sleep, but was that...Jack's brown hair? But...it couldn't be. He was dead.

But a sandwich though? Really?! At 2 in the morning?!

Well, I shouldn't be talking if I'm up at this hour anyway.

The intruder turned around and since the kitchen was across from my room, we made eye contact.

I froze and it seemed like time had stopped moving altogether. I know, it sounds cliché, but when you're standing alone with an intruder that just so happens to be your DEAD BOYFRIEND at 2 IN THE MORNING, all logic goes out the window. 

There was no mistaking it. I took in that familiar mop of scruffy (scruffier than usual since it was under the hood) brown hair, spiked up at the front. His brown eyes looked more tired than mischievous like they usually did. In fact, they looked...relieved...when we saw each other. His smirk was still there though, that smug bastard.

"Hey?" he tried, sounding hopeful. When I didn't respond, he tried again. "Look, I know--"

How dare he come back after making me think he was dead and the first thing he says to me is a fucking 'hey'?!

"Y--you--you're supposed to be dead." I couldn't quite comprehend what I was seeing, more mad than I was confused. Because if you die on me, and come back and you really are alive and breathing 10 feet in front of me, you'd better say something more than a 'hey', buddy.

Jack grimaced and put his plate down on the counter next to him. "Yell at me, scream at me...anything! Dylan wouldn't let me explain to you. Something about--"

"Save the bull, Jack!" I raised my voice at him, tears threatening to spill again. "You left me here alone for the past few months! I had no idea if you were actually dead or if it was just an act. I know this sounds so stupid, but I was so broken over hearing you had died!"

He moved to hug me, but i held up my hand to stop him. "No. You don't deserve to hold me. Not after what you've done."

He dropped his arms in surrender, retreating back a few steps. "Could you at least let me explain?"

I didn't answer, closing my eyes so I wouldn't see his face and start crying again. Instead, I took a deep breath before reopening my eyes and looking him straight on.

"You don't know how I felt these past few months. You don't know what I've been through, and how I somehow made it through this hellhole. You don't know how I'm feeling right now, seeing my supposedly dead boyfriend just showing up to my apartment, making himself a sandwich, and greeting me with a goddamn 'hey'!"

I didn't even care about my tears now, I let them fall freely. My slightly steady words became shaky and filled with sobs as I closed my eyes tightly, wishing all the pain away. Wishing that none of the pain had ever happened. Wishing....that Jack had never left in the first place.

I felt his arms wrap around me, and I pushed him away, hitting everywhere, anywhere that I could reach on Jack. I screamed at him, yelled at him to get away from me, to never come back if he was going to leave me the way I had been for the past few months, to just...stay...away.

He took the hits in silence, and it might've been a trick of the light, but I saw tears in his eyes as well, as he struggled to keep them from falling. My hits gradually turned into weakened pats as Jack blocked my blows and his arms cocooned around me firmly, until I stopped trying to hit him altogether. I just stood there, enveloped in his arms, letting his warmth seep into me, a warmth that I didn't realize I had missed. 

"Why did you leave me?" I asked him, my voice wracked with sobs and muffled by his chest.

"Because I had a plan that would eventually get me back to you anyway." he explained gently, his voice shaky. "Dylan may be our leader, but nothing is going to keep me from my girlfriend. From you."

I raised my head from his chest. "But why? Why did you leave me?" I repeated.

I didn't know why I asked him that. I didn't really know what kind of answer I was expecting, or if I even wanted to hear it.

"Baby, it broke me too!" he cried. "You think I wanted to leave you alone for three months? You think I wanted to watch you cry and break down? (Y/N), it broke my heart to pieces, watching you lose it as soon as you came home.

"I felt so helpless. I felt like the worst boyfriend ever, not being able to comfort you. I felt like a fucking coward, for not coming out of hiding sooner. I know you knew that I was a part of the Horsemen, but I felt like such a loser, a liar, for not telling you everything."

He cupped my face, his thumbs wiping away my tears despite his own. "Baby, it hurt me so much."

I shut my eyes tight, resting my head back on his chest again. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head, whispering reassuring words to me. I could hear his steady heartbeat, beating out a stable tune. Exhaling deeply, I stopped sobbing, with the occasional hiccup appearing every now and then. 

I don't know how long it had been, but when I opened my eyes again, I felt Jack scoop me up into his arms and carry me towards my room.

"It was supposed to be just you and me. You and me take on the world." I muttered as he gently placed me down. I curled up as he took off his sweatshirt and threw it on the floor, feeling the bed dip as he filled in his empty spot for the past few months. I turned towards him and curled into him as he wrapped his arms around me again.

It felt good to have him back. I sighed as I drifted off to sleep, finally feeling warm again after so long.

It was just me and him.

Me and him to take on the world.

i thought this was pretty good, but since most of my readers are Fansies, y'all probably don't know who this is ig haha

there is a thor one-shot in the works rn, so stay tuned for that

also, if u like Enjolras from Les Mis, go check out the last few chapters. not my best work and i admit that they could have been written better, but honestly i just wanted to write something