This is part two of the I need somebody one shot. This one will be ass long because nearly every entry on Luke's wall will be written in his perspective.

So even more and serious trigger warnings straight ahead;  mention and practicing of eating disorder, anger and yelling, mention and happening of suicide, strong language, loss of friends and loved ones in a emotional way, not a physical.

If you can't read a single point of that list, please skip this one shot, I won't be mad just watch out for your mental health.

It's maybe not May but still; mental health is important and you should be aware of it.

Luv

-J

~~~~

Luke carefully closed the door and got ride of his shoes, walked through the hallway into the kitchen.

The schoolbag felt heavy on his shoulder as he saw his mother standing at the stove. “Hey Honey. How was school?“

He looked at the floor and squeezed his hands.

“What happened?“ she asked worried and took the pan off the stove.

“I...I failed my test and now I have to re-do junior year.“ he said, tearing up.

“You're kidding, right?“ Liz asked and tried a smile.

Luke shook his head. “No.”

“Show me the test.“

She tried her best to stay calm and patient but the madness built up.

He ripped the test out of his backpack and handed it to her, looking away. A big, red F stood in the right upper corner.

“Please go into your room. Dinner is done in 10 minutes.“ Liz said really mad.

“I'm not hungry... I'll rather study...math.“ he quickly said and left to go upstairs into his room, looked the door and escaped into his bathroom.

His back fell again the wall and suddenly the yelling started downstairs at the same time as his tears ran down his cheeks.

Luke walked over to his bathtub and turned on the water and got undressed meanwhile.

When he sat in the water he looked at his body and cried even more.

Luke felt bad for the slice of pie he had today, the failed test and that he was the reason there was no peace in the house...again.

He took a deep breath and slide his head under water and opened his eyes. 

~~~~

After the math lesson was lunch time but he didn't planned to go to the cafeteria.

His teacher supported that plan by calling him back into the room.

“See Luke. I know you are a good student. So I wonder why the only thing you filled out at the test was your name. What happened?“

“I don't know either. A blackout probably?“ he said but it was more a question.

“Do you feel prepared to rewrite the test on Friday after school?“ the teacher asked.

Luke agreed more than happy and finally had and believable excuse to go to the library not the cafeteria.

He sat in there until lunch time was over and afterwards he walked to his next class.

Ashton next to him gave him a questioning look. “Where have you been while lunch?“

Luke smiled. “I was in the library because I can rewrite the test.“

Ash smiled with him.

As soon as he came home he told his parents about that but they sent him to his room.

~~~~

“Luke! Ashton is here!“

Luke got out of his room and walked down the stairs just to hug his best friend. “Hey. How are you?“

“Perfectly. Did you pass?“

“I don't know yet. Miss Cillver hasn't talked to me yet.“ he said shrugging his shoulders.

“I think you passed. Calum and I both ripped our brains out for you.“ Ashton said with a laugh.

“Yeah I know. Still absolute thank you for that.“

“Boys. Food is done. Come take a seat.“ Liz said from the kitchen, both went down the hall to sit down to delicious smelling food.

Ashton stacked his plat up in his manner of doing while Luke took a small amount, still big enough for Ashton to not look at him.

He hesitated with every fork filled up with food but he darned everything down.

After eating he even waited till it didn't looked suspicious when he got up and excused himself to the bathroom.

Luke looked the door twice before stepping on the scale.

The number was too high. Ways to high again.

It took him a few seconds of overcoming to kneel Infront of the toilet and pushing his fingers down his throat.

That way the gag reflex did all the job.

It was disgusting and he absolutely hated it but after flushing and stepping on the scale again it was worth it.

After washing his hands he stepped on it again and left, sat back on his seat at the kitchen table like nothing just happened.

~~~~

Luke came out of the bathroom with mixed feelings.

He finally had the weight he wanted. But a look in the mirror made his good feeling going away. He still looked the same. No change just the same fat at his stomach as before.

His mother called him into the living room. “Honey which cake do you want for birthday?“

Luke swallowed hard and got nervous. “Uhm. I don't know. Like always?“

“Perfect. Thank you.“ she smiled and he did as well but forced.

While he walked up to his room he automatically generated how much calories a slice would have.

In his room he sat on the floor and started to cry until it was really hard to breathe.

~~~~

“Mister Hemmings!“

Luke turned around to see his math teacher smiling.

“I corrected your test and I am more than proud.“ she said and handed him the test.

A pretty B was in the corner.

He smiled as well and walked out of the classroom.

“You good?“ Calum asked outside of the classroom.

Luke surprisingly hugged his best friend and got super excited.
“Thank you Cal. Thank you. I got a B in my test.“

Calum got excited as well and hugged him harder.

“What's going on here?“ Ashton asked out of nowhere.

“Luke got a B and will level up.“ Calum said and smiled.

They broke away from their hug and smiled both like idiots.

“I'm proud of you.“

~~~~

“Happy birthday!“ the people around Luke cheered as he blowed out the candles on the cake. 

His mom came up to him and hugged him, gave him a kiss on his head.

He smiled at her and took the first peace of cake.

The other guests got a piece of it as well and than they started to eat.

Luke's head counted the calories with every little chew he did and he felt them being added to his weight. 

The sugar gave him a rush because he hasn't had any of it since a month.

After the piece he got up and slowly walked into his room, locked that door, walked into his bathroom and looked that door as well to throw up, getting ride of everything.

When Luke was sure everything was out he washed his hands and got back downstairs with a smile.

Jack next to him looked at him with a 'everything okay?' look so Luke just nodded, kept the smile going.

“Luke baby, do you want another piece?“ Liz asked and already took his plate.

“No thank you. Not now. Later maybe.“ he said nicely with a angel look.

~~~~

Luke felt good going back to school after summer break.

He lost another 10 pounds and felt good.

Calum and Ashton where excited to see their best friend again, going to class together.

“We don't have Economics or do we?“ Calum asked, taking a seat Infront of the other two.

“I think no. Didn't Mister Dallas retired? And the subject is only up to junior year?“  Luke said questioning.

“Should be. Yeah. That means two hours less till we graduate from high school.“ Ashton added as well and slapped Luke for putting his feet on the table.

“Are you okay?“ he asked, looking worried at the legs in skinny jeans, Luke's upper thighs didn't touched at all.

“Yeah. Thank you. I'm good. The best to be specific.“ the blond said with a smile and looked truly happy.

Cal and Ash gave each other a look but the lesson started.

After a few hours they had lunch break and Luke walked with his friends into the cafeteria.

“What do you guys want?“ Ashton asked, looked at the plan.

“Beans and rice. The meet here is not eatable.“ Calum said and scrunched up his face.

“I'm not hungry...I had enough breakfast.“ Luke said with a smile.

Calum looked at him with disappointed in his face. “Dont lie to us Luke. When was the last time you are?“

“Today in the morning. I'm just not hungry.“ he said, trying to stay calm.

“Don't fucking lie Hemmings. Do you think we don't see how thin you got. You need help.“

Luke teared up. “I'm okay Calum. I'm healthy and I are today in the morning. I don't need help.“

Ashton wanted to say something as well but Calum cut him off. “Lucas. You are sick. You need to realize that. We both love you and we don't want to loose you.“

“I AM OKAY!“ he yelled. “And it's fucking Luke.“

“Fine. You are good. But don't you dare talk to me ever again.“ Calum hissed and walked away to the food serving.

Luke turned around and ran into the other direction, outside of the cafeteria.

“Hey Luke! Wait!” Ashton shouted and ran after him.

~~~~

Luke absolutely hated Gym class.

He always waited till the locker room was nearly empty to change and walked into the gym as the last one.

“Okay class, we're gonna play Dodgeball today. Please count, 1 and two on repeat.“ their teacher said.

They did as told and splitted up in two teams, for Luke's sake he ended up with Calum who managed himself to at least look at Luke. .

After a whole and a half game Luke got so dizzy that his vision went black for a few seconds and when he opened up his eyes again he sat on the floor, all the students around him including the teacher.

“Mister Hood, Mister Irwin, could you two bring him please to the nurses office?“

“Sure.“ Ashton said, held him his hand.

He carefully grabbed it and got pulled on his feet.

Calum got over his ego and helped Luke as well to the office.

He sat there in quiet but as soon as the nurse was gone the yelling started again.

“You are good Luke? Obviously you're not.“

“I am.“ Luke whined and looked up the ceiling.

“You're not and I will fucking tell Liz how her son is destroying himself.” Cal said cold.

“Please don't! Calum no. That goes to far. But seriously Luke. I'm worried about you as well. What is going on?“ Ashton cutted Calum off this time.

“Nothing. I'm really good.“

~~~~

The door shut close and Luke stood in the empty hallway. No jacket or shoes where there to show him that his parents where home already.

So he filled up the emptyness with his stuff and went into the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

He stopped drinking out of plastic bottles because they added some calories to the water.

Luke took the glass with him up in his room where a dozen other cups and glasses stood around.

He knew they needed to be down in the kitchen but his mom would yell at him for storing them in his room.

She would if she would come home.

What a weird concept of a family.

Luke layed into his bed and really missed his mom and dad.

They weren't the best parents at every time but they loved Luke with all they had.

And now they refused to spend a minute more than necessary with him.

That made Luke cry.

He did that a lot recently but he got used to it.

~~~~

Luke sat Infront of the toilet in his bathroom, his head leaned on the back part of the toilet seat while sobbes escaped his moth along with spit strings and tears dropping into the bowl. 

His entire vision was filled up with the food he was forced to eat.

All of that now layed in the toilet so he had to stare at the noodles and cheese and sauce.

While he was sitting there, his stomach contents burning in his brain he stopped feeling like Luke.

Or like a human in general.

He just felt disgust all over.

~~~~

The blond boy entered school with a little smile and he was happy for the first time in a while.

He had a cookie without throwing it up again.

It was a diet cookie he stole from his moms part of the pantry but the thought counted.

Luke wanted to tell Calum and Ashton, so maybe they'll be proud of him as well.

But as soon as Calum saw Luke he turned around and walked away.

His smile slowly faded but his last hope was Ashton so before he entered class fixed his smile and his hair.

Which turned out to be unnecessary because his place was totally empty.

Luke looked around the room worried but found Ashton next to Isaak. They where laughing and had a good time

He swallowed heavy and sat down, his smile fully gone and he wanted to get rid of the cookie as soon as possible. 

So he excused him to nobody because no one sat next to him and the lesson would only start in 15 minutes.

~~~~

Luke's hands where shaking as he placed the sharpy down.

He felt sick when he looked at his life for the past few month.

He missed Calum and Ashton but he made them go.

His wanting for happiness made all the people he loved going away.

Luke slowly got up and made sure that his bedroom door was locked twice.

Then he slowly walked into his bathroom, locked that door twice as well and then looked at the floor.

They layed painkillers and a razor blade he stole from his Father.

If he would have a bathtub that he didn't destroyd while an anger outbust he would have made a 13 reasons why death but he just had a shower.

So he got undressed, just wearing a Boxershorts when he stepped under the running water.

Luke opened up the painkiller lid and jugged down all the pills, swallowed it with water out of the shower head.

It was a sad process when he took the blade and cutted up the spots where his main arteries where reachable.

He felt nothing when the bloodstreams mixed with the running water.

It was a great mess and Luke got weaker then he already was.

But he smiled. He knew that he finally made it.

He had no one who would miss him, who would read his last words or cry a single tear at his funeral if there will be one.