chapter 19 | Personal


"Have you received a text from y/n's mom today?" he questions me as if he came here for that only. "I don't know. My phone has been charging since I came back because it didn't last night. Why do you ask though?" I peek at him, briefly to not hurt myself while he is continuing. "Y/n told me her mom wanted to invite you for dinner tomorrow."

"Oh," I do not express any happiness about this, hoping she will change her mind and ask to another man. "Yeah, 'oh'," he reads between the lines, knowing what this lack of reaction means. "Does that mean you were talking with y/n?" I switch gears for Harin to not be the subject of our conversation. "Yes, she'll be here tomorrow, and I told her about what we were talking about yesterday. She said she would want to but needs to think about it."

"Great. You'd love her to spend the weekend here, right?" I gaze up at his face to check the answer his features give, but the broad smile he is showing speaks for him. "Kinda."

I smile at how precious he is, seeing through his eyes and behavior. I know he has a crush on her, no matter what he claims.

"I haven't told, but we talked while you were skating with Seunggil the other day," I move to the side to clean my hands after touching the raw meat. "And she told me about a boy she dated and who cheated on her with multiple girls."

"She never told me about that," he looks at me, seeming pleased by the news. "That means we both went through the same though."

"Yeah," I nod but hate to have to agree with him. I towel my hands and stand before the induction plate to warm the frying pan up. "Has she talked about her dad to you though?"

I shake my head but wonder why he is curious about this. "Why?"

"I don't know," he eats a piece of carrot before filling the bowl with the rest of the vegetables he cut like I asked him to. "Something seems off with the mom. She never mentions her dad, looks uncomfortable when he is mentioned. I'm just worried."

"Well, maybe this is better to let her decide whether she wants to speak about it or not. I believe that if she does not want to say anything about him, she has a good reason for it," I hope for him to understand and not ever ask her a question that might bring back bad memories. "I know, but I'm worried. She is like..." his breathing ends his sentence as if he did not know how to do it with more words, so I stare at him. "Like what?"

"Like...not okay at her house," he does not let go of what he seems to have to keep hidden inside. "She'd be much better here, with meals every day, with care, attention..." his every word preoccupies me, creating some tension. I do not glance away from him, seeing how serious this matter is. "You know, the other night," he lays his hands down on the counter and fixes his eyes on everything but me. "Something happened while she was sleeping. It was scary, but I didn't want to tell her about it because I felt like it would embarrass her, but while I was texting Seunggil on my phone and that she was sleeping, I started hearing some noise from her. The lights were turned off because I didn't want to disturb her sleep, but I kept the neon lights on so that I could see, and at first, I didn't do anything but watched her. She was like...I don't know...mumbling some stuff...then she started breathing really hard, so much that I was worried that she would lose consciousness, so I went up to her to calm her down, but as soon as I touched her, she started crying as if she was terrified. I managed to calm her down by rubbing her back and all, but I heard some weird stuff..."

"What did you hear?" I frown, feeling shocked. I was so sound asleep that I did not even hear anything on that night. "Some words...like...it sounded like she was asking for her dad. It hurt me a lot," he lowers his chin and straightens his back, but as my thoughts are mingling and messing with me, he raises his eyes up to mine. "She's scared of her mom...I feel it. I mean, have you seen what her mom does? Y/n cannot even talk about her father without looking hurt, but this woman is hooking up with new men every week as if she never had a husband. Y/n is so used to it that she knows exactly what she does when she brings a new name up."

"Joonha," I sharply exhale to breathe some weight out of my lungs. "Do not cross the line. I know you mean good, I know you're worried for her, but do not stick your nose in their life. If something wrong is happening with her mom, she'll tell you, at some point. Trust me, but you need to be careful and let her know you're there for her. Take care of her and nothing else. You might make it worse, even if it isn't intended."

He silently stares into my eyes, being well aware that I am right. He knows this will not solve the problem, he needs to give her time, to make sure she feels comfortable enough to speak about it with him. He should never rush her.

The quietness lingering in the house, he maintains eye contact as if he needed to tell me something, so I read through this look he gives me but feel some wrath and affliction exude from it. "Hm? Think about her, put yourself in her sh—"

"What if I saw some bruises on her body?" he reveals a darker side of it, and I understand that this is not based on assumptions anymore. "Her dress rode up while she was sleeping, and I saw her hip. On the side of it, that was the size of my hand, and there was another one on her lower back..." he does not keep it under wraps anymore, bringing it to light after waiting for long hours.

"I just wanna fucking kill her, dad. I know she's the one who gave her those bruises. I'm sure of it, but y/n wouldn't tell me about it because she knows I'm gonna do something," he forgets what I taught him, losing his composure and letting the anger hold the reins. "What you're implying is very serious, Joonha. What if those bruises were caused because of something stupid? You don't know about all the things she does, accusing someone of abuse can cause a lot of harm to all the people involved."

"But what if I'm right? What if that woman is actually abusing her? I'd rather accuse her of something and realize I was wrong than do the opposite and not say anything while y/n is being harmed," he makes a good point that I cannot contradict. "I don't give a damn about that woman anyway. I already know what she does to y/n, and this is enough for it to be considered as abuse."

"What are you talking about?" I cross my arms over my chest, not standing to not have the whole story anymore, but he expresses his bother with a sigh. "She doesn't want me to tell you."

"After all the things you told me already, do you think this is necessary to keep it to yourself?" I point out the obvious he is avoiding, but he walks past me to grab something on the counter behind us. "She starves her. She locks the cabinet that contains food in the house so that she can only eat soup. She even counts the number of fruits there is to make sure y/n haven't eaten any."

This cannot be real.

This sounds so cruel, I cannot imagine Harin doing this to her daughter.

"Has y/n stated that or you think she does it?" I attempt to have a clear answer, but he turns around and shoots me a withering look through which I can perceive disappointment. "Do you think I'd invent that? She told me about it when we were at her house."

"I just want to make sure this is from her," I hope for him to not misunderstand and get mad over it when I am trying my best for him and this woman I care about a lot. "Listen..." I bring one hand up to my face to rub it, and I pull my hair back. "For now. Just try to convince her to spend some more time here, alright? I'm taking care of the rest."

"What if I spend some time with her in my bed tomorrow and that I see her bruises again?" he asks for advices, so I let what seems the smartest answer out. "Do not directly mention it. Make an allusion to it, like, if you touch her and that she groans about the pain, ask her why, and if she tells you she's bruised on that spot. Ask her what happened in the most natural way."

"Yeah," he does not show opposition to this idea and takes his phone out, but since I feel like I may have sounded too rude or insensitive to this issue, I speak some more words about it to clarify the reason why I am telling him to do it that way. "I care about her too, Joonha. I'm not telling you to turn a blind eye on it, but without evidence, this will backfire on you, and the only one you'll hurt is y/n because if the mom is indeed guilty and that she knows we're aware of what is happening in her house, she will do anything possible to keep y/n away from us and could even do worse and put the blame on y/n. So I'm just trying to think of the best solution."

"I know, dad. Don't worry," he reassures me about the fears I had, so I do not go any further but leave him alone with this.

It always seems so simple to solve. You think the only thing you have to do is take care of the victim and keep them with you, but if it was as simple as that, many victims would be saved much earlier. The worst is when the victim has been manipulated into thinking they deserve it, and here, if what Joonha feels is true, that means y/n does not even want to acknowledge the danger she is in. Or she wants to handle it on her own because she believes she will bother other people if she asks for help.

Dammit. I would never have expected this to happen. I hope he is wrong, I would not want y/n to be harmed.

•••

9:50 pm.

'YOUR P.O.V'

[ hey are you busy? >

I send the text to Joonha after finally finishing my favorite anime character's drawing for good and correcting every little flaw I noticed. I am proud of it. I spent more than one week on it to make it as close as possible to perfection, so I am happy this is done and ready to be put in a frame.

< I'm not. Why? ]

[ I want to show you something >

< sure, let's FaceTime ]

Since he does not seem annoyed by the thought of it, I call him and direct the camera towards my desk, waiting for him to pick up. Only a few seconds are enough for his face to appear on my screen.

He is shirtless again, with the chain around his neck that I cannot stop feeling against my skin like I did some days ago. "I'm here, what do you wanna show me?"

"Look. Don't tell me whether this is pretty or not, just tell me if you recognize him, okay?" I do not move my hand away from the drawing, and he nods but smiles. "Okay."

After this go-ahead, I lift my arm up to reveal the drawing I made and put so much effort into, and I do not focus on anything but his facial expression.

He is quick to react to it. "Holy fuck, y/n. Is this who I think it is?" he points his finger at his screen but calls attention to his dumb question. "Well, I don't know. Tell me."

"Is that Levi? My most favorite anime boy ever?" he unknowingly satisfies me by confirming the identity of this character, and the joy fills me. "Yes, it is. The hottest boy. Look at him from closer," I drift it even more towards his face so that he can see his handsome features. "Girl, it's so fucking amazing. I want it to hang it on my wall."

"Not for free," I do not give it so thoughtlessly, not after all the hours and minutes I spent on it. "I know. I'll pay the price I have to."

"Look at those abs," I move the camera down to the best part of the drawing, but his face does not express the same emotion any longer. "Yeah. Mine are better. Why did you draw him half-naked, you pervert? Instead of taking his shirt off, you should have made him button it up."

"It's my drawing, I do what I want with the character," I do not focus on what I seem to be the only one to like. "Yeah, but you're a pervert," he smirks, judging me and pretending to be innocent when he is not any better. "I don't care."

"You can show your face now, you know," he asks to see my ugliness when the only thing I wanted to show was my drawing. I turn the camera to use the front one, and I lean back on my chair. "Levi's abs are better, in my opinion."

"If I wanna see abs, I look at mine," he does not say anything about my face but stares. "Well, then if you wanna see a face, look at yours."

"No," he shakes his head but smiles, softly. "I'm done showing you my hot Levi boyfriend, so we can end the call already. You seem very busy with no shirt on."

"Your imaginary boyfriend, you mean?" he shoots a bullet through my heart as if reality was not enough, so I look daggers at him to make him understand he did not have to. "Why have an imagination if you cannot use it?"

"That's how you end up losing your mind and mistaking fantasies for reality, baby girl," the nickname I can never feel indifferent to gives me butterflies, and I momentarily grin. "I'm not to that point yet. If it ever happens, bring me back to reality, please."

"You can count on me. I'll give you a big hard slap right in the face and remind you of the evil you are," he licks and rests his head on his hand, lying down on his bed and not being on his computer like he usually is at this time do the day to play. "Thanks."

He chuckles at our dumb game but ruffles his hair as we both suddenly got quiet, so I nervously peek at my drawing and hold the weight of my head with my fist.

"Can you remind me what you said you'll do to make it up to me tomorrow?" he dares to put this subject forth on the phone when he knows how shy I am once this is not by text. "I don't know what you're talking about..."

"Sure? Because I can clearly remember you talking about sucking my dick and letting me practice using it inside you, or did I dream?"

"You definitely dreamed," I lie to not have to own up to the words I said, but he laughs. "Such a coward you are. I haven't forgotten though. You'll do what you said."

"I didn't say anything," I refuse to admit it, feeling nervous and not looking at him anymore but fidgeting with my pencils. "There's proof, baby girl. I'll show them to you so that I can refresh your memory," he does not let me hope for an escape, and I already expect him to screenshot the texts. "I'm waiting for it because I believe no one but myself and what I see."

"Well, we can— Yeah," he looks up as if his dad had called him, and he stays focused on who I assume to be Mister Jeon without hanging up. "I told her I'd visit her this Sunday," he talks to him, so I stay quiet to not disturb but listen in order to try to hear Mister Jeon. "And has she talked about the trip with you?"

Who are they talking about?

"Yeah, but I won't go. It's gonna last for two whole weeks, so I don't want to," he peeks down at me, not even pressing on the button 'mute' so that I cannot hear anything, and he combs his hair back while his dad is talking. "Are you sure? If it's because of me, you don't have to hold back. It would make her really happy."

"But I want to stay here, I don't want to stand her husband for two weeks," he does not reassess his decision on it. "Alright, I won't force you. Have you talked to y/n since earlier?" he pronounces my name, but a smile grows on Joonha's face in the blink of an eye. "I'm FaceTiming her right now," he gazes down at me. "Look, she wants to say hello," he lifts the phone up to put me in front of his dad, and my toes curl once I see him at the door that he is keeping open, shirtless, with one arm up against the frame to lean on it. "Hey," he smiles at me, and I ridiculously answer with the same. "Hey, how are you?"

"Good, and you? How was your day?" he moves his arm to change position and grips the frame, and I clear my throat. "Good too. My day was fine, what about yours?"

"My arm's hurting, take the phone," Joonha shakes the phone up and blurs the beautiful sight I had, but Mister Jeon grabs the phone and only shows his face, on which his glasses are. "My day was fine—"

"You can leave and chat with her, I'm sure this would make her happy," the dumb man speaks in the background, giving him ideas that are terribly bad. Mister Jeon smiles but does not answer, he only gazes at me. "My day was fine. What did you do? You're not working too hard, right?"

"I'm not, but I enjoy my work, so I'm never in a bad mood when I go to work," I do not tell him the whole truth. "That's a good thing. I hope this will always be like that for you. It helps a lot."

"Isn't it the same for you?" I do not end the conversation, despite who the phone, which he is holding, belongs to. "Well, it depends, but if I start talking, this will take long, and I know Joonha wants to talk to you," he peeks down at him and smiles at his son's complaints, and I drop my eyes down to his chain that looks very similar to Joonha's one. "Oh, alright. I won't bother then. Hope you'll have a good night and sleep a lot."

"Hope the same for you," he lowers his eyes for a small second. "And you don't bother, don't say that," he hands the phone back to Joonha, not leaving me enough time to even respond, and I now face the jerk.

"Oh, what a cute tomato," he pretends to be seeing some redness on my face when I was not even that shy in front of Mister Jeon. "I saw that too," the male voice in the background joins in the game when I thought this man left, and Joonha adds fuel to the fire. "Right, look here," he turns the phone once more, making me feel like a toy they are dragging around, but he does not pay attention to what he is showing.

I have Mister Jeon's abs and big chest in full sight, but his lips curve up, and he holds one hand down over his lower abdomen, showing his veiny hand and golden watch off. "Her cheeks are pinkish because of you," he makes fun of me, and Mister Jeon expresses the same amusement. "That's cute," he heaves one hand up to grab the door handle. "I'm leaving you alone, see you tomorrow, sweetheart," he waves at me with a broad smile on his face, so I wave back after my heart dropped to the floor.

This is the first time he calls me by something other than my name. The butterflies in my stomach and chest feel so good.

"I'll be in the garden," he closes the door but gets stopped. "Are you gonna smoke?"

"Yes, just one cigarette. I promise," he disappears behind the door to leave. "I wanna smoke too now..." Joonha mumbles but looks at me. "Don't. Talk to me instead. It's not that better for your health, but still not as bad."

"That's what I was about to say but you heard me thinking I guess," a haughty grin sharpens his features, and I raise my eyebrows at him. "I know."

"When are you gonna sleep?" he becomes a little serious, drifting the topics from one to another non-stop. "I don't know. Why?"

"Just asking. I gotta talk to my dad while he's not busy," he puts one arm under his head to lie down to the side and stare at my face, seeming very entertained by this call with me. "Then go and talk to him. Why are you staying?"

"Because I like to torture myself by staying with an annoying girl like you," a corner of his lips leaves a haughty smirk on his face. "Then bye," I hang up without warning him, but for a good reason since I know he wants to have a talk with his dad.

I still feel a bit bad though.

< are you serious?😦 ]

[ you said you want to talk to your dad and that I'm annoying, so I did you a favor:) >

< it was a joke but okay, you took the first opportunity, I won't forget ]

[ that means you don't want me to come tomorrow, right? I understand, dont worry >

< you come tomorrow ]

< btw ]

He takes a screenshot after I totally forgot to delete the texts about the blowjob.

< got the proof now ]

[ ;-; >

< I'll come back later<3 ]

I smile but hope that the talk is not about something too serious, and I put my phone down.

'JUNGKOOK'S P.O.V'

The wind softly blowing on my skin as the sun has already left the sky, I bring the cigarette up to my mouth to take a drag on it while staring at the small fountain near me, right next to the large swinging chair.

This moment feels so good. This is relaxing, with the soothing sound of the wind whispering, the leaves rustling, the water running and rippling. I bring my hand down to breathe the smoke out, but the sliding door behind me gets opened, grasping my attention and making me turn around.

Joonha, who put a shirt on, closes the door but gets greeted by Choco, who loves him more than anyone else. "You're not with y/n anymore?" I smile and tap the ashes off my cigarette, and he steps closer. "No, I want to talk to you."

"About what?" I take my glasses off to put them over my head and keep my hair pushed back. "About her..."

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