Trolls (Hardik And MSD)

It's my take on the precious bond between Hardik and MSD. I feel Hardik is ready childish around MS and the latter is quite protective about the former. This set after the New Zealand tour, that is Hardik's comeback your after Koffee with Karan. It's about how all the online trolls affect Hardik and how MSD helps out his baby brother. This is partially based on a idea that Kumarishivani gave me. Hope you like it. Please let me know in the comments.

#

Hardik's PoV:

I hate myself. I truly do. Since the coffee with Karan incident a lot had happened. BCCI had banned me, was it right or wrong is discussion I don't think about. What I had said was utterly totally digusting and distasteful. No, I wasn't like that. I just said what I thought would make me look cool. Yes I thought it would make me look cool, because in this look centric society before my success I was always bullied about my skin colour and looks, around me coolness was defined by how many girls one could get. So in my mind this made me look cool. No I am not justifying myself, I hate myself for saying those things, things I don't truly believe in. I let my family down, I let my team down. But now I was back, I was playing ok but not exceedingly well. Things looked normal but they weren't. Don't get me wrong I wasn't bieng treated like an outcast. Everyone was as normal as possible with me. Only Mahi Bhai seemed to be too formal with me. Or that's how I felt. He had made sure I was feeling ok in the matches, he and Virat Bhai had also fought for my selection. But it felt like he did not want discuss koffes with Karan at all. He didn't even scold me for bieng so so stupid. Why didn't come and hit me, I deserved it, why? Why? He always did that when I messed up, well not hit me, but scold me, pull my ears, may be make me run laps round the ground. But this time, he simply didn't talk about the issue. It wasn't like he didn't talk to me, he even came to me before every match to talk to me with his motivating words. But he never talked about what I did. Was he bieng ultra professional? Because he wanted nothing personal to do with me? As though I wasn't his little brother anymore. And the online trolling was draining me. It was getting down to cheap personal attacks. You could say I can go off social media. But it's not that easy. It was not that easy. Even news channels were publishing troll compilations on me. And in my mind I deserved it. I deserved it all. But those "aj main karke aaya" trolls were getting too much for me to handle. I couldn't go and talk to Mahi Bhai too, I didn't deserve anybodies love, anybodies time, I have let all of them down, the team was bieng criticized because of me. I could talk to Krunal but he wasn't yet a regular in the team and I didn't want my own worries to affect his performance. He anyway worried too much about me. I didn't deserve this, not from him, not from the team. Yet from the day I have comeback they tried their best to make things easy for me. But why was Bhai avoiding the topic? Was I beyond redemption that's why he was not speaking to me about that issue. The newspapers are making me believe that even more. Even some older cricketers are speaking against selection. But they had fought for me right? So I should mean something....I was a mess.

Mahi's PoV:

To say I was worried about Hardik was an understatement, I was dead worried. There was something off about him, and I could not spot what. He was trying to look normal, but I could see he wasn't. I don't know how this bunch of idiots had grown so much on me...how I had become their big brother from bieng just their captain. I could see right through their facades. And it disturbed me when even one of them wasn't ok. I wasn't there captain anymore, but I was there brother, there is nothing that can change this fact. Hardik particularly worried me. He was so immature and so vulnerable. I know the cool dude persona is what he uses to hide his real self. And he was bouncing back from one of his biggest downfalls. I had till now consciously avoided talking to him about that incident. I wanted him to settle down a bit in the team. I was so angry on him, he portrayed himself in such a wrong light, he wasn't like that, that's part of the reason why I hadn't addressed the issue yet, because when I would do it the kid would get sound hearing from me. The social media debate around him was raging. I hoped it won't effect him, and I was sure if he was worried about that he would come to me. He always came to me when he felt insecure or affected by something. That was a good thing about Hardik, he atleast talked to me when he needed to. But why was he hiding it now. I had hoped that he had atleast talked to Krunal, who was with us here in the tour, about it but he hadn't. The team was staying back after the tour, it was sort of a team vacation. The team liked doing this, they had so much fun together. Krunal would have to go back, he had some prior commitments. I was in my room thinking these things. The tour had ended today. I would have to talk to Hardik tomorrow. I had waited long enough, given him enough space. But now I have to know what was worrying Hardik, and why hadn't he come to talk to me or told me about it when I talked to him before every match, trying my best to soothe him. I had a talk with Krunal before he left. He had also tried talking to Hardik with no avail. He really looked torn. I assured him I would look after his little brother, I would make sure he is ok. 

Hardik's PoV:

It was about 8:30 at night. I was scrolling through insta again when I almost dropped my phone. This was horribly disgusting. It was a pic of me with Sakshi bhabi on a fan page, I had my head on her shoulders. She was a elder sister to me. Someone had commented below it "Hardik yaha bhi karke aaya."

I felt angry, disgusted and worthless. I couldn't just sit about. Grabbed the room keys and rushed to the lobby and asked for chauffeur immediately. I headed out as soon as the chauffeur arrived.

MSD PoV:

I was feeling really restless. I couldn't sit and watch the show I was watching. I thought I would talk to Hardik tomorrow. But my gut feeling was telling me to go now. And over the years I have learnt not to ignore my gut. I went to Hardik's room and knocked. No answer. I tried opening the door. It was locked! Was he inside, but after knocking so much he should open the door then. Was he ill? Or has he gone out? Where was he at this hour? Was he again at some god-forbidden party? No, it cannot be. He wasn't in a mental state of partying, I could judge that much at least. I called him. It was switched off. My mind started running all over the place. I thought of calling Virat but I stopped myself Virat and Rohit had gone in a double date with Anu and Ritu. They worked under so much pressure, they deserved the time off. We all did. I did not call Cheeku. I rushed down to the reception. "Has Mr. Hardik Pandya left the hotel." "Yes sir" said the receptionist, "he left about 2-3hrs ago. He took one of the hotel cars." So he is not in the room, or ill in his room or he hasn't gone out alone in the streets at night, that was a relief. It was raining outside. But where was he? He tried calling him again. Switched off. "Ma'am can you please help me with something." Mahi said "Can you please call and ask your chauffeur that where did he drop Mr. Pandya?" "Sir I am not sure if that's in the protocol" she replied. "It's urgent." MS insisted "his phone is switched off. I just need to know where he was dropped. I am gauranteeing that you won't get into any trouble. If you do, you can take my name. Please consider." "Ok sir" she agreed hesitantly. She made a call and then informed MS. "Mr. Pandya went to the nearest 24hrs practice grounds." "Practice grounds?" MS spoke to himself. "Can you please get me a chauffeur as soon as possible? Or just car that I could rent?" MS said. "Sir at this moment no chauffeur is available." She said checking the computer "But you can definitely rent a car and drive yourself." "That will do" MS said "Thank you." He quickly collected the keys and ran towards the car. I had an international driving license, so renting a car was never a problem anywhere. He drove as quickly as the speed limit would permit. What in the world was this boy doing at the practice grounds at this hour, in the pouring rain.

Hardik's PoV:

I switched on the bowling machine, and started knocking when I arrived on the grounds. This would probably keep my mind off things. But my mind was still wandering. I could not judge the balls properly. One hit me in the stomach, and then on the chest. Ouch. That would cause a bruise. But the pain felt good. The pain felt well deserved. I had been skipping meals for the last few weeks. I hadn't felt like eating. I hadn't slept well too. And today the trolling had crossed all limits. I felt so so undeserving of everything he had achieved so far. The rain had started. The ground staff came to cover the practice pitches. They didn't cover the whole grounds here like in India. I started started running laps round the ground bare feet. As my feet hit the ground and got abraised, it felt like something I deserved. The curator tried to say that it was raining. I almost shooed him away. I didn't know how many laps I ran before my leg muscles couldn't take it anymore, I was on autopilot. I even slipped and fell face flat twice. I must have cut my elbow, knee and few other places but I didn't care. Once I couldn't run anymore. I went into the gym, soaking wet and started taking my frustrations out on a punching bag...

Third person PoV:

MS almost charged into the curators office wanting to know where was Hardik. The man in a almost concerned manner pointed to the gym. MSD half ran to the gym and stopped dead near the door. Hardik was in soaking wet clothes, punching a boxing bag, there were cuts at his arms, elbows and knees. His knuckles we're bleeding, God knows how long he was punching that bag. "What do you Think you at doing? " MS almost thundered, he was beyond angry now. Hardik stopped almost startled and turned. "Stop this idiocy and come with me right NOW." MS said. Hardik didn't move. "Harry, I said NOW." MS said and grabbed him by the arms and almost dragged him out of the grounds and into the car. Hardik was surprised at MS's arrival. He knew he should be scared that MS was looking livid and he should be sorry that he troubled him. But a small part of him was happy, his brother was scolding him, it must mean he still loved him right? Right?
MS drove the car back in silence, and Hardik dared not speak. He quietly followed MS into the lobby and into MS's room, MS didn't need to drag him again, his look was enough. "Give me your room keys" MS ordered. Hardik handed them over. "Go and have a hot shower" MS ordered "I am getting you change of clothes. Hardik went to the bathroom without a word like a obodient child while MS went to Hardik's room and got him track shorts and a t shirt. Hardik showered and changed. "Come here and sit" MS said in a no nonesense voice pointing to the bed, Hardik lowered his head "DON'T MAKE ME REPEAT MYSELF HARRY" Hardik came and sat on the bed. MS grabbed a chair and sat in front of him. He cleaned the wounds and applied ointment on them before breaking the silence. "So, Mr. Pandya" he said "Care to explain what you were doing?" "I was just practicing" Hardik tried to say in a shaking voice. "Don't you DARE lie to me" MS said. "You think it's ok to hurt yourself. What do you think of yourself?" MS said angrily and slapped him right across the face. "First you go in a god damned show and speak like a lunatic." He slapped him again. "You speak things you don't believe in, things that you know are wrong." Another slap. Hardik's eyes are starting to brim with tears. "You get yourself in a huge mess. Worry the hell out of both your families and then when we try to get you back. You are hurting yourself. Do you think it's only you who matters, and we who have fought for you have no right on you" MS said and was about to slap Hardik again but he couldn't bring himself to. Hardik had started blinking rapidly to control his tears. MS's heart almost melted. Instead he cupped his cheek and said "Why bachcha? Why did you do this to yourself? What was bothering you so much? Why didn't you talk to me like always?" He rubbed his cheek. "Bhai...I am sorry." Hardik said, before breaking down completely and starting to sob uncontrollably. It broke MS's heart to see this. He shifted to the bed beside Hardik and pulled his head into his chest hugging him tight. "Hush bachcha" MS said tenderly "Kya ho Gaya? Bata na, Ro kyu raha hai itna?" MS was trying to calm him by running his hand through Hardik's hair. "I am sorry...I le...let you down again" Hardik said in between torrents of sobs "I...am...I am worth...less...I don't...deserve your affection." "Nahi bachcha" Mahi said soothingly "Aisa kuchh nahi hai." "Aisa hi hai" Hardik said forcefully pushing himself away from MS "Aisa hi hai. I am beyond redemption I know, that's why you were avoiding talking to me about Koffee with Karan. You don't have to care for me. It ok, I get it." "Harry" MS said putting an arm on him  "That's not the truth. I wasn't talking to you about it because I wanted you get a little settled down in the team before I talked to you about it. Cuz I knew when I talked to you, I will end up shouting at you, I didn't wanna hurt you when you were already down. That's all bachcha. I still love you the same." "You could have shouted all you wanted" Hardik said "I get that now" Mahi said "I am sorry I didn't talk to you earlier. But who put that you are beyond redemption thing in your head. Did somebody in the team say something?" "No, It's those people" Hardik said pointing at the phone "They don't have a face. They don't even know me. But all of them are judging me, they are telling me how disgusting I was. Everybody hates me now. They even...they even...said that I...I...did stuff with...Sakshi Bhabi." He broke down again, burying his face in his hands. It dawned upon MS now. The online trolls were getting Hardik, and he hadn't talked to MS because he thought he wouldn't want to. And then he saw something written about him and Sakshi and that triggered him. MS made a mental note of tracing that meme. It had effected Hardik enough to resort to self harm. But now first he needed to calm Hardik, he had worked himself to a aweful state. He cupped Hardik's cheek and said "Harry look at me. Don't you ever think those things. Those faceless, nameless cowards have nothing better to do. They showing their own mentality by dragging Sakshi into this. I know how much you respect her. Don't you let them make you believe that you are digusting. They are no one to judge you." Hardik was sobbing harder now. "As successful you become" MS said "the judging will increase. Your every move will be judged. You will have to learn to ignore it. I am always there. I am your brother and nothing, nothing will change this fact. And remember that admist all this you will also always have your loyal true fans, they will still support you. Play for them, play for the tricolor, play for the love of cricket. And just see how cricket loves you back." Hardik sobbed harder into his hands. Mahi pulled him in his chest again. This time Hardik hugged back tightly, clutching the fabric of MS's t shirt, burying face in his chest. MS kept stroking his hair. His body was hot to touch, of course after the soaking, fever was to follow. "Never ever hurt yourself again" MS said "You matter too much to us, to me, Krunal, Virat, Bhuvi, all of us." Hardik nodded in the hug. "And from next time on a public platform think 10 times before you speak." MS said "Don't put yourself through this ever I gain. You are much too precious for India." Hardik nodded again, still crying. After his sobs had reduced to hiccups, MS tried to push him away. But Hardik had MS in a death grip, not wanting part from the warmth of that hug. Well, if Hardik needed to hug him to feel loved, then MS would let him. He leaned back against the wall and let Hardik lie with his head on his chest. He could soon feel Hardik's breath evening out. He had fallen asleep. He very quietly called for room service and ordered some soup. When it arrived he gently waked Hardik up, made him finish the soup and gave him a paracetamol before letting Hardik lie back down against him. It seemed like Hardik just wanted to cling to him. MS understood, in some aspects Hardik was still a child. Hardik was sound asleep while MS watched a series on his phone, with his one hand subconsciously running thorough Hardik's hair when he heard a knock on the door and Virat poked his head in. MS signalled him to be quiet. Virat walked up to him and asked in whisper "What happened to Harry?" MS explained the incident in short. Virat looked pained. "Cheeku now don't you go about feeling all guilty about this. We tried our best to make him feel good. But we sadly couldn't succeed." MS said "But see now he is ok. May be not great but ok. We just have to handle him with care." Hardik stirred a little before nuzzling a little in MS's chest. MS was still running his hand through Hardik's hair. He was drooling slightly on MS's t shirt and sleeping peacefully, his one hand still clutching MS's shirt. He looked so innocent and vulnerable like this. MS unconsciouspy tightened his grip slightly on Harry. He smiled indulgently down at the 24 yr old baby sleeping clinging to him. "Go and sleep now." Mahi said to Virat "I know that by the end of the tour our old Harry will be back." He patted Virat's back with his other hand. Virat too smiled indulgently at Hardik. And he thanked the stars for having someone like MS with him. The team really had a big brother...

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top