merry hannukwanzmas! it's the holiday season and we're here to spread joy!

...and possibly some disaster hehe :3

but fear not! this isn't canon therefore no one is actually dead (or alive) (if that's any consolation)

fair warning, this isn't a lighthearted chapter :)))))))

(omg but on a happy note we finally hit number 1 in #kotlc!! thank you all for making this possible! (no seriously. this wouldnt have been written if you guys werent here commenting and voting like the wonderful ppl you are))

enjoy some screenshots of our victory:

...and now, coming back to edit this authors note... we hit 50k?? how??? thank you guys for reading!!

~anna brooks

hey guys, first i just wanted to say sorry for not saying anything for awhile i have been really busy studying for exams and i kinda, sorta, maybe, not really forgot about wattpad. BUT, thats over now so lets just move past that. we just wanted to thank you for being so supportive and invested in Ms. Sencen. i don't want to sound like a broken record here but without you guys we would literally just be two people fantasizing about the obviously superior ship in the KOTLC series. thank you guys so much for continuing to read out work and if you guys have anything you would want to see happen in the story give us suggestions. happy holidays and winter break if you have one!

~katlyn 

basically five minutes after the last canon chapter

(special extra authors note: you guys do not know how hard it was not to start this off with "i came as soon as i heard")

Sophie:

"What happened?" I practically shouted, bursting into the lobby of Havenfield, dragging Keefe behind me. "Is Grady okay? What-"

"Sophie," said Jolie worriedly, stepping into the foyer with an unreadable expression. "Grady's in his room. He said he didn't want to see you, but..."

An elf I knew far too well stepped into the room behind Jolie, placing his hand on her shoulder. "He's in critical condition. We told him Verdi was being unpredictable, but he insisted-"

"Brant?" interrupted Keefe, and I didn't have to be an Empath to tell what emotions were coursing through him. I was feeling infuriated too. How dare he come here, after killing Jolie and joining the Neverseen? Why was he even alive? Mr. Forkle killed him. "What are you doing here?" he asked with a glare, stepping forward threateningly.

"I live next door," Brant said, looking around the room, obviously confused. I held up a hand and stopped Keefe in his tracks. "But, Sophie - it's not looking good. And after Edaline, he doesn't have the will to keep holding on. Grady - he's not waking up. It's like he's in a coma..."

"Let me see him," I said confidently. "I'll fix it. I have to."

"Oh, Sophie," said Jolie sadly, looking far too much like Edaline for my comfort. "It's not your fault. You don't have to fix anything."

"I want to do this," I said, my vision blurry with tears. "Jolie," I repeated, the name foreign on my tongue. "I want to."

"I'm just warning you," said Jolie with a worried crease between her eyebrows. "His mind is kind of a mess right now. It has been, ever since..." She trailed off, but I already knew what she was going to say. Ever since Edaline. Ever since you killed her. "Last time you tried, it didn't end well."

"If I may," said Brant, to which I wanted to say, you may not, but I didn't say that out loud for obvious reasons. "Sophie, we just don't want you to overexert yourself. I know that you know your limits best, but trailing through someone's mind is sure to be exhausting. And Grady's stubborn, you know that. It might not be best-"

"What?" I snapped, absolutely fed up with everyone telling me what I could and couldn't do. "What might not be best? Grady almost dying? Or - or what about Edaline? Or Tam? Or everyone else who's deaths are my fault? Well, newsflash! My whole life just 'isn't the best!'"

Keefe blinked. "Foster. I mean, Sencen. Look, I know you think you can do this. I believe you can do this. But you're not thinking straight. You need to rest before you make a decision. And if you still want to search his mind, I'm right behind you. But not right now."

"Yes right now!" I practically screamed, grabbing handfuls of my hair. I probably looked deranged. I couldn't bring myself to care. "Grady - Grady hates me. Don't - " I swallowed, forcing back tears. "Don't argue with me. I know that it's true. I have to do this. For him. For me."

"I'm not going to stop you," said Keefe. "But I just... I just want you to understand what you're doing. Grady's mind is probably a mess. It's not going to be pretty, and you don't have Fitz by your side. I know I'm not a Telepath, but I know enough to know that it hurts. Going through a broken mind is like walking on shattered glass. I know you know your strengths better than anyone, but don't feel pressured to do anything because of your past mistakes."

Jolie sighed. "I'll show you to his room. But I'm just warning you-"

"I can do it," I said, squaring my shoulders. "Take me to him."

Grady and Edaline's room (though the latter didn't live there anymore), was significantly more muted than I remembered. The walls were a plain beige, the bed was smaller. Every bit of furniture was rearranged slightly, the whole room was off-kilter.

And Grady. He was so small and pale and defeated, lying on his bed and looking dead to the world. I reached forward tentatively, almost afraid to touch him. Keefe gripped my shoulders, holding me upright. I realized belatedly that my knees had given out.

"Hey," whispered Keefe. "You got this."

I smiled nervously at him. Since when was Keefe so much taller than me? I mean, I knew he was tall, but normally there wasn't so much of a height difference. Maybe it was a matter of perspective. I certainly felt small right now. "I know," I said simply, trying to sound confident.

I reached out my consciousness, like a mental wave projecting over Grady's mind. And then someone was gripping my hand and I was falling through thick sheets of silk.

Grady's mind was dark. And I had been in plenty of dark minds before, like Alden's when his mind was... broken. But this was a different kind of dark. This was dark that took over everything, that stuck to your essence and felt thick and overwhelming like a fog.

I kept walking. Flashes of memories burst around me, muted and monochrome. I saw Jolie, snapping her fingers for the first time as a young child and Conjuring a pile of feathers. My heart ached as I watched her, now a grown woman, walking out Havenfield's door for the last time.

And then there was me. Something about each memory of me was angry, as if it was tinged with hate. I watched myself walking into Havenfield for the first time, looking young and hopeful and unaware of the battles yet to come. I smiled as Grady's eyes watched me meeting Verdi for the first time.

I was almost grateful that Grady's mind was organized, unlike most everyone's. He kept his memories in chronological order, while most minds I had been through went from most important or whatever they were thinking about in the moment.

It was unsettling, like I was walking through a hallway of memory. I reached out, hesitant, and touched a memory. It almost looked like a bubble... My fingertip just barely grazed the surface, but then the bubble of memory burst and I jumped back, startled.

Too late to avoid the memory, it crashed over me and sent me careening back in time to an unfamiliar hall, filled with jewels and imposing columns.

But the more I thought, the more I wondered: Was it really unfamiliar? I had been here before, back when I had first come to the Lost Cities. It was the Council room, and I was walking through it, to a girl.

She had blonde hair, and she looked so small, standing before the Councillors in wonder. Her back was facing me, and I was holding hands with someone.

No, not just someone. Edaline. I smiled at her, squeezed her hand a little tighter. Like I was reassuring her...

I remembered this day. The day I had been adopted. Past me spun around, and I couldn't help but gasp.

My face was blank. Not a blank expression, but totally wiped clean of any facial feature. It was downright terrifying. Past me was walking towards me, almost threateningly through Grady's eyes. Something red flashed in the corner of my eye, almost like an alarm. Distantly, I wondered what the alarm was for.

And then. The ground started shaking, chunks of the ceiling began crashing to the ground. The whole memory was crumbling, falling away. Sirens began to wail, the whole room was tinted red. Desperately, I grasped at the remains of the memory.

It did nothing. The Council room disintegrated and I was left on my knees, shaking and trembling. The hall of memory was back. I curled up on the floor, hugging my knees. Was that what Grady truly thought of me? A monster?

I wished that Keefe was here. He would get me through this. Keefe was brave. He wasn't afraid of a stupid memory like the one I had just been through. He wouldn't be sobbing on the floor. I shouldn't be the Moonlark. Keefe should.

A thousand times, I visualized myself getting up and continuing my path down the hall. But a thousand times, my body didn't respond. I stayed on the floor, trying to make myself as small as possible, tears still making their way down my cheeks.

I want Keefe. Keefe would save me. Well. Keefe's not here.

I had to save myself this time. Just like all of the other times. Keefe won't always be here for me, so I had to learn to protect myself without him. Somewhere, I felt my hand being squeezed reassuringly.

Keefe's voice echoed throughout my head. Sophie. You'll get through this.

And I smiled. Because I would get through this. I'm the Moonlark. No one else. I was made for this. This was my purpose.

To fix broken minds. And Grady's wasn't even broken yet. How hard could it be?

I got up and kept walking. The hallway seemed to stretch on forever. And then I reached the end, where a giant memory waited, framed in gold. This was it. This was the memory I had to see, the one that Grady wanted me to see.

I reached out and poked the surface with my finger. This time I didn't step back when the memory burst. I let it wash over me, closing my eyes and preparing myself.

When I opened them, the world was in chaos. Havenfield was burning. Someone had torn all of the pastures from the ground. I forced my way into the house, wind and debris trying to force me back.

It was as if there was a tornado right in the center of Havenfield. And in the center of the tornado was me. I knelt on the floor, screaming and clutching my head. A whirlwind whipped around me, tossing my hair and pieces of the floor around. I remained protected.

Edaline was not.

She was trying valiantly to get closer to me, just like Grady was. But then she saw me. (Or, well, Grady.) And she stopped. Her mouth opened. And the storm whisked away her words, but I still heard them plain as day.

"Get away from here. It's not safe."

And honestly? No dip, Sherlock. But if it wasn't safe for me, it wasn't safe for Edaline either. She Conjured away a large section of the ceiling, and then her knees buckled. She hit the ground.

Not me was still in the center of the storm. A sudden burst of fire flared out from inside of me, lighting me up and tearing down the room. Edaline looked straight at me before the fire overtook her.

And she snapped her fingers, one last time.

I hit the ground running, trying to get back into Havenfield where she had Conjured me away. "Edaline!" I yelled. "Edaline!"

And then the storm stilled. The wind died. The fire stopped burning so bright.

Just like Jolie had died, in another universe. In a fire. Except this time, it wasn't Brant. It was me.

I ran into Havenfield like the fire was behind me, not in front. I burst through the flames, not even caring when my arms blistered. "Edaline!"

I burst into the room. And what I saw made me shatter.

Edaline was limp, only being held up by Past me's arms. Her head lolled back. Her face was blackened. Past Sophie was sobbing. "I'm sorry," she said, rocking Edaline back and forth. "I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."

And even though I knew what she was saying was the truth, I couldn't quite bring myself to believe her.

(for clarification, it's not sophie who doesn't believe past sophie. it's grady. his emotions translate into sophie's emotions. but only sometimes. it's hard to understand. try to read in between the lines, i guess?? i know it doesn't make a lot of sense. sorry!)

hoo boy that took a while... sorry lol

but it was pretty long too so (that might have just been the author's note... oops)

anyways, i hope you enjoyed the ride! stay tuned for some of the aftermath of the memory!

i've already started planning the ending, but don't worry! we're still a long way off from that

the end seems a bit threatening, too, almost like it's too big of a word. i don't like to end things. maybe i'll just leave this entire book on a cliffhanger?

~anna brooks

do nOT - 

~katlyn

PLEASE CHECK OUT OUR NEW STORY, GHOST OF YOU, ANOTHER SOKEEFE FANFICTION!

WORD COUNT: 2464 (woww)