I convince myself that it's alright.

That was the whole point of this marriage because I know I am not ready to be a husband. So, as stressed as I feel I try to dismiss that Avni is furious with me right now and I am supposed to go after her.

I sit at my table and focus on work because that's the priority. I go over the emails keeping my mind from retrieving Avni which doesn't happen.

I sigh frustrated then I shut my laptop and grab my phone to call Avni when she doesn't answer I call my mother.

"Hey, mom." I stand up.

"Yes?" Mom asks. "You are coming for lunch?"

"Uh, no," I say. "Can you please ask Avni to answer my call?"

"If she's not answering your calls why will she answer me?" Mom asks. "Did something happen?"

"What do you mean?" I frown. "Is she not at home?"

"She left with you, Tillu," Mom says.

"Yeah but-" I pause knowing Mom will easily make a big deal of this.

"But?"

"Nothing. I just forgot she came with me." I close my eyes and shake my head.

"Seriously, Tillu?" Mom asks in disbelief. "What is the matter with you?"

"The matter with me is that my wife clouds my mind," I say slowly.

"Yeah. I can see." She says.

"In a good way, Mom," I add.

"Good way?" She asks. "You sound like mad man you know? You don't even remember your wife came with you."

"Mom-"

"I know you are lying. Who forgets such a simple thing?" She asks. "You better sort out things before you come home. I don't wish to see husband and wife arguments."

"Uh, you'll let me know if she comes home?" I ask.

"Yeah and I'll let her know she shouldn't walk out and trouble you." She says.

"Don't say that-" I say but she disconnects the call.

I look at the phone screen and I run my hand through my hair not knowing what I am supposed to do now.

Where's Avni?

I walk out of my office and I'm walking to the elevator to check if Avni is in her office when DD walks out of the elevator.

"Did you see Avni?" I ask him.

"Yes, a few minutes ago." He says.

"Where?" I ask.

"She was going out." He shrugs then he grins. "I wished her all the best."

"Where did she go?" I ask impatiently.

"Seems like you are in trouble." He chuckles amused. "That is why Ruby had a satisfied smile on her face because you and Avni argued."

"We didn't argue." I roll my eyes. "Can you tell me where she is?"

"Well, you should know that." He rolls his eyes. "Now, let that be your punishment for making Avni tear-eyed. Figure out where she is."

"DD." I keep my arm on his shoulder when he begins to walk past me. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." He says. "Besides she told me not to tell you."

"Alright." I step back.

He looks at me for a moment then he shakes his head before he walks away.

I walk back into my office and I keep calling Avni as I pace around. There was just so much going through my head that I couldn't figure out what to say and what not to say in a few seconds.

Avni needs to listen.

I let out a breath when she answers.

"Where are you?"

"Excuse me?" She asks. "The tone, Mister, or I am disconnecting the call."

"You know there's a lot of work to do and every time something happens in the office you leave for home," I say exasperated. "Why don't you stay and listen to me once?"

"Oh, please my work is my priority." She says. "And I am not at home weeping over your silence. There's an outdoor photoshoot we are supposed to do, remember? That's where I am, boss."

I clench my jaw feeling irritated with myself and Avni has some good words to get me where she wants to.

"Is that all?" She asks.

"No," I say then I stare at the wall. "Are you mad at me?"

"What do you expect me to do?" She asks in disbelief. "You normally keep saying the loveliest words ever and when I expected you to say something you didn't!"

We wouldn't be having this conversation if we were just fixed on being Mr. and Mrs. Khanna but we wanted to be Avni and Neil at the same time.

"I am sorry," I say in a low voice.

"Only if it could make things better." She sighs. "We shouldn't even be talking about this. It's not like it matters, a few more months and we are done."

"Avni," I say. "Don't do this right now."

"It's alright, Neil." She presses. "Plus feelings were never supposed to be involved. Feeling hurt is also a feeling."

"It's you who didn't want feelings involved." I point out. "I have never said it and I never made this marriage about not having feelings. For me, it was all about not doing my responsibilities as a husband."

"Then stop fixing it." She says. "Why are you telling me all this anyway?"

"Who should I tell if not you?" I ask.

There's an abrupt silence between us as my words hang and I yearn for her to be in front of me now. I sit down on the couch and rest my elbow on my knee as I hold my head in hand.

"You keep forgetting we are in an Avni and Neil relationship too," I say slowly.

"That is exactly why I am hurt." She asserts.

"I know and I am sorry for that," I say softly. "There was just a lot going through my head. It wasn't just about what Rose said- trust me it doesn't make any difference to me. I accept I am a little shocked but this is it, nothing changes."

"Neil, why aren't you getting that's what I wanted you to say?" She asks exasperated.

"Because I had so much going on in my head. I... I have so much to tell you but I don't know if I should-"

"Then figure out." She interrupts. "And it doesn't matter to me now if you don't. I am not keeping expectations from you because I can't get myself hurt again, Mr. Khanna."

I sigh and set the phone aside when she disconnects the call and rest my head back on the couch feeling conflicted.

As I sit there in silence I slowly realize the hurt I am feeling because she is sad and knowing that I am the reason makes it even worse.

I know I am getting myself right where I don't want to go and I am not even able to pull myself back now.

My love ride has embarked and my heart has concluded it will halt only after victory or failure.

Fuck.

Avni will probably blow me if I tell her.

I want her to know this truth about her doesn't change anything so I try to come up with something to make her feel special.

Knowing that she felt bad also makes me realize that I do matter to her even if it is a little and while I don't think I should voice out to Rose that nothing changes I'll still make sure she notices that Avni and I are still doing well even after her ploy.

I wonder what Aaron, Leo, and Alice's reaction will be to that because I seriously feel they should know it.

I comprehend Avni has been holding onto the misery ever since she figured it out and I want her to talk to me about what she feels but I want her to do it willingly so I am going to ignore what Rose said to me until Avni brings it up herself.

I grab my phone wanting to call Neela Young but I decide I'll talk to her this weekend when we visit the beach house for Alice's birthday party.

I pull up Avni's biological mother's photo on my phone and I stare at her hoping I get some answers.

I shake my head because I ain't some detective to figure out anything just like that. Then I begin wondering why Rose is still sticking around.

Rose will never have a good conversation with me but I need answers from her and as I worry more about it I figure out the person who can give me answers if I give it a try.

The first person that comes to my mind who can give me his number is Avni but I decide I'll go with Leo.

"What's up?" Leo says when he answers.

"Hey, uh, do you have Jason's number?" I ask hoping he doesn't question.

"You wanna give him some treatment for hurting my sister?" He laughs.

"I had some... work," I say.

"Alright. I'll send it to you." He says probably sensing the solemnity in my voice.

"Thank you. Please don't tell Avni right now." I say.

"I generally love doing the opposite but agreed, brother-in-law." He jokes and I chuckle.

"Just a heads-up, Avni wouldn't like it if you tell her now or later." He adds before he disconnects the call.

I open Leo's text and wait for his text when I receive it I dial Jason's number then I press the phone against my ear. I stand up as the tone dials in my ear.

Seems like today is my call day.

"Hello?"

I pause for a moment as I hear his voice. I have to remind myself he is Avni's ex-boyfriend and I have to get straight to the point.

"I am Avni's husband," I say into the phone as I put my hand in my pocket.

"I am Jason." He says.

"I know. Would you mind meeting me?"

"Uh, I am not sure Avni would like that." He says.

"She didn't like the reason why you turned her ex-boyfriend too," I say suddenly feeling angry at him. "But you did it anyway."

"I-"

"A yes or no would work for me." I interrupt him.

"Alright." He says. "But don't tell Rose about it."

"I won't," I say. "Tomorrow whenever you are free," I add before I disconnect the call.

Looks like Rose and Jason are a little serious.

Interesting.

☄☄☄

"I think Rose and Jason are serious," Ruby tells me as she drives the car.

It was almost evening when we wrapped up with the photoshoot and Ruby offers to drop me back home.

"Yeah," I say. "I am just... shocked."

She glances at me before she looks back at the road. "Was Jason your friend first or hers?"

"I met him when we were doing Fashion Designing and I remember introducing Rose to him," I say trying to recall it. "That means he was my friend first right?"

"Maybe." She says. "It's not about how long you know the person anyway." Her voice slows. "It's just the person."

"Do you still love, Neil?" I ask curiously.

"Maybe." She says. "Not that it matters to anyone." She looks at me. "What would you do if you were in my place?"

"I would let go," I say. "I mean the worst happened with me too. I was hurt by whatever Rose and Jason did and I still am."

"Right." She says. "And Rose was telling you I'll be the next one to betray you."

"I am not putting any trust in you," I say.

"Good." She nods. "I don't want any friendship, faith, and all. I suck at relationships."

I look at her and I wonder if I should say something when I see the sadness she's trying to hide.

"Here we are." She sighs as she pulls into the driveway.

"Thank you," I say as I get out of the car.

"You can pay me instead." She jokes and I laugh.

"Why don't you come in?" I ask her.

"Oh, no, your husband will take you and run away on a date again." She rolls her eyes and I laugh.

I stand there and watch as her car disappears gaping at what has she been through in life.