Im a mess, I'm a mess , I'm a mess right now.

My eyes wavered over the stupid test again.
But the letters never changed even though I silently begged them to.

Positive
Positive
Positive

Dread filled my chest, and I felt completely empty. How is this fair? it must have been from before the trial, before our wedding. It must have. How is this fair?

"Kiara-" Beth said in a low voice as she gripped my hand "just like you said to me...there is a chance that your not. It could be a false positive"

It could be. But I know in my gut that it isn't.

"Here let's just call Lucien..." she said as she grabbed her phone out of her pocket.

"No." I screamed as I grabbed her phone and threw it off the bed. "No. N-not yet."

Her eyes grew in solum. "Kiara- , you...you have to tell him."

"No I don't." I growl "and you won't either"

She doesn't say anything after that but she quickly bolted down the stairs and grabbed a second test. "Retake it, there is always a chance." She muttered and I looked at her. Now this time I was a pussy, I was scared. No not scared, Terrified.

So I redid the task, pissed on the stick and set it to wait. Waiting in a sickening silence, the ding of the alarm not phasing me as I sat still. Beth looked at me and got up looking at the stick for me. "P...Positive..." she whispered "hey it-it's gonna be fine tho." She assured after awhile.

But her assurance did little to calm my nerves.

I felt my body quiver, my lip between my teeth and my breath quicken. "Get out." I said, quietly but full of anger And conviction. "Just please leave" I said when she didn't move.

Beth looked at me but My eyes didn't meet hers as she sighed quietly at got up, the door closing gently leaving me in the silence of the room.

I felt sick. My body carrying me to the bathroom, the door I slam and lock. my stomach emptying itself into the toilet. I felt empty and hollow. Flushing my stress induced vomit soon after

Splashing my face with water from the sink, the cool liquid shocking my skin. Water dripping from my eyelashes I open my eyes, and look at the woman staring back at me in the mirror.

She looked crazy. She looked Insane. She looked hysterical. I looked like her.

Focusing in on my eyes I stared myself in the eyes. And I swear she laughed at me.

Without a second thought My hand pounded at the glass, watching as it shatters after my continuous hits. My hand bloody and cut.

Taking a step back, I pushed my hair out of my eyes. Blood streaking my forehead. My gaze flowing to my hand.

I open my palm, red staining my skin, pieces of glass continuing to cut me. "Mrs.O'Rihley Open the door!" A man calls, he's part of security. Probably thinks I'm trying to end my shit.

"No fuck off!" I scream, as blood flows to my forearm and onto my clothes. Making my skin sticky. "Leave me Alone!" I yell as I stuff the two tests into my pockets.

My head dizzy. Shit eh?

"Open or we will break the door" he repeated

Oh, so there is more then one. Beth probably called them inside. Whore. But I guess it's not really her fault.

Stumbling back onto the floor, my back resting against the counter. "Kiara you did it again." I said to myself "you ruined things again, just when they were getting good." I laughed

Every event from around me was blurred as I continued to talk to myself, not really knowing if it was allowed or in my head. "Kiara you should get help" I said, then hummed in response. Loosing blood made my head spin.

Then the door came off their hinges as like 8 men rushed in with their guns ready. I smiled up at them as they looked at the mirror and then at me. "Call boss. And get me a damn medic." The head guy said as he walked over to me and scooped me up carefully.

"You're prettyyyyy" I said as I looked up at him, he was pretty tho. A rough beard and wickedly brown eyes.

"Don't say that around the boss, Mrs.O'Rihley." He smiled down at me as he placed me on the bed. "He will have my head."

"No—I wouldn't let him make you bread." I answered back. He shook his head as he elevated my hand, just as a man dressed in a white coat came rushing in and took his place.

The security guard stepped back, as the doctor started doing things to my hand. "Can you tell me why you were trying to hurt yourself?" The security man asked, as he stood over observing.
He looked at least 6'4".

Bypassing his question I asked "name?"

"Luke." He said as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I answered your question, now answer mine."

sighing I said lowly "I wasn't trying to hurt myself, I...I'm mad. I'm scared." I said, as I felt that hollow feeling again.

"You Cut your hand up and smashed the mirror because you were...upset?" He asked again.

'Duh' I answered in my head. This man obviously doesn't know what I'm capable of doing when I'm 'upset'.

Nodding he sucked in a breath. "Lucien is going to kill me Dead." Luke said under his breath, but I heard him.

"Same." I mumbled. Because I don't even think Lucien wants to be a Dad. What if he wants to get rid of it?

But Luke interrupted my thoughts with ; "Why? If he is gonna be pissed at anyone it will be the people who were supposed to be watching you."

The doctor removed a piece of glass and I winced, clenching my teeth. Then a new fear filled me, what if I hurt the baby? I have drank, and smoked and had really fucking hard sex. What if.

"I'm-" I whispered, but I didn't even want to whisper the 'P' word out loud. Because if I didn't say it, then it wouldn't be as real. So I stopped myself.

"Your what?" Luke asked as Doc Mc Stuffins started to stitch my hand which made me cuss loudly. "Mother fucker that hurts." I said with a tear going down my cheek.

What if you hurt the baby? You're already a bad mother Kiara ; a voice laughed in my head

"I'm-" I whispered just as the door slammed open. Lucien, John, David And Beth all walked in. Beth looked at me and frowned. John looked at my hand and shook his head. David smiled, sorta like he was proud. That sadistic fuck.

But Lucien...he looked angry. His eyes looked at my hand, then at my body, then at my face, then at my eyes. Then his eyes burned with anger as he moved his eyes to Luke.
"You were supposed to keep her safe." He growled, as he took the gun out of his pants as he walked with precision towards Luke.

My eyes widening. "Lucien No, It wasn't his fault it was mine!" I screamed, as I pushed the doctor out of my way and walked in-front of Lucien and his raised gun. "Move Kiara." Lucien growled as he pointed the gun away from me automatically.

"Lucien It isn't his fault. I lashed out Because..." I stuttered, realizing how fucking hard this was. This man standing in front of me was the father of something growing inside me.

"Kiara, he was supposed to watch you. You were supposed to be safe, I was supposed to keep you safe and now your hurt." He growled as he tried to sidestep me.

"Boss, Luke had no idea that she was-" John said In Lukes defence, but Lucien turned over his shoulder and told him to shut up.

Beth's eyes burned into mine as she raised her eyebrow, her look telling me to just spit it out.

"Lucien." I growled as I grabbed the gun out of his hand, and let all the bullets fall out. "I smashed the fucking mirror because I was freaking out-"

Lucien once again cut me off "Because you were left alone." his eyes staring at Luke.

"No not because I was alone you stupid bastard." I said as I threw the pregnancy tests at his stupid fucking face "because I'm fucking pregnant you ignorant whore."

Lucien froze.

John smiled lowly.

David concealed a laugh.

Beth clapped her hands like a twat.

"What?" Lucien said, with little emotion in his voice. And my heart stung a little.

Crossing my hands over my chest, I said trying to sound like my heart didn't hurt.
"Your white milk turned my uncooked egg into an omelette."

"I fucking know the process Kiara." He said. Then he turned around and growled "everyone fuck off." And then everyone did so. The door closing we were left alone.

I felt tears peck at my eyes. "I'm sorry." I said and he turned to me, "I-I know this isn't what you want. If you want me to get rid of it then I will-" I cried as I took a step back from him. he noticed my tears and he untense his shoulders, unclenched his fists and relaxed his face.

"Don't apologize to me." Lucien said "and don't fucking say that.". Lucien walked up to me and grabbed me lifting me up and wrapping my legs around his waist. "Don't cry my love." He said as he kissed my bandaged hand.

"I-I am so stupid, I knew I was running out of pills. Lucien I-I-" I said hysterically.

He sighed "don't say that you're stupid either." He sat down on the clean side of the bed, the side that wasn't stained with my blood. "I'm not fucking mad at you." I was now straddling him, as he rubbed my back.

"You should be! I just fucked up our entire fucking lives" I said "I'm am going to be a terrible fucking mother."

"Lucien I don't know the first thing about babies, I thought they came from factories until I was like 16." I cried. Like a crazy bitch. "My father killed himself and my mom doesn't even know her name I'm not the poster child for good parenting."

He grabbed my face sternly. His eyes focusing on mine. "And my Dad is a dead bastard who killed my mother." He said "We aren't our parents. Just cause they were fucked doesn't mean we are."

"You don't understand! I will get fat, emotional, and horny every five seconds. This isn't a little change Lucien this is our whole lives." I said to him, and he flipped me over so my back was against the mattress.

"I do understand. You know I want to spend my life with you yes?" Lucien said lowly, as he kissed my forehead. "Yes." I answered

"Are you happy, do you want this baby?" He asked as he trailed his hand down my front and to my stomach. resting his hand oh so lightly on it, and making sure the weight of his body was kept off me.

I thought about it. Hard. It was so much more comforting that Lucien was here, it made me less scared. "Yes...and I...yes."

"Then I'm fucking happy." He smiled as he pulled my shorts down and raised my shirt exposing my stomach. "Do you know how happy it makes me to know that my baby is growing in you?" he cocked as he ran his hands along my stomach as he lowered to his knees.

"Oh?" I smiled slyly, as he slowly inches his hand to my shorts sliding them off my legs, doing the same with my panties soon after.

"To know that It was me who filled your guts."he smiled as he kissed my unholy section, my head tilting back into the mattress as he pulls me into him.

His mouth devouring me, every inch. My lip quivered, with a new reason now. I whispered Lucien's name lowly, as he played around my clit.

he added a finger, then two. Then I lost count.

My hand mixing into his hair and he looked up at me, laughing against my centre which made me bite my lip to keep my release.

he gripped my thigh tightly almost as to stabilize himself.  "Come for me Kiara." He growled. "God you need to come for me." He said.

So I did. My body shivering with pleasure.

Then his lips kissed my stomach as he came back up and I looked at him. "Are you sure?" I asked

He pulled me into him and said "Kiara you are the only thing I love. And now you have given me another. I have never been more sure of anything in my life."

Can't wait till I gotta baby daddy.

Quick Question Tho

Would you want to read a book about Kiara and Lucien's Baby?

There are still gonna be a few more chapters for Mrs.Drug Cartel, but I could write a sequel...

I don't know just give your thoughts.

Xoxo-AbigalKnightly