Stay, His lips begged

Go, His actions screamed

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*Me looking down at my computer preparing to update again, even though I have a shit load of studying to do*

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[Chapter 41]

Kiaras POV

Davids hold on me never decreased as he hurriedly dragged me out to the parking lot, I felt like a rag doll being thrown around by an obnoxious 5-year-old. But I could hear the unsettling screams of John for me to run, as well as heavy footsteps gasping to catch me quick.

But Davids hold on me released when Lucien lunged at him, slamming David fiercely to the ground. I stopped in my tracks and spun quickly on my heels. Lucien's fists were pounding into Davids' face, as he tried to block his hits but failing dramatically.

John was rested against the wall, his eyes closed and I felt my heartstrings pull with guilt.

Lucien was a trained monster and losing a fight was never in his vocabulary, the only reason I ever won against him is cause I cheated. "Lucien get off him!" I screamed as tears seemed to want to fuck me over at this moment. "Lucien, I am the one you want don't hurt him!"I growled as tried to push him off David who was now very much unconscious.

He stopped as I gripped his shoulder, quickly spinning around, holding my wrist so tight it burned. "why? Is he your new achievement, the next fucking man you got to fuck you deep?" he growled and I kept my eyes to the ground, I couldn't face him.

"I am sorry" I whispered as I sunk to my knees, as I felt a cold barrel aimed to my forehead. But the thing is I wasn't scared to die, I knew my actions would have consequences. I knew what I had done wouldn't go unpunished. But at least I would die at the hands of the man I love."You're sorry? you humiliated me, you fucking broke me. Sorry will never fucking make things better" he scoffed and I swear I heard his voice break slightly.

Biting my lip to keep it from quivering, I blinked away any tears. "I didn't want this to happen, I had no choice," I whispered knowing he probably only thinks I'm trying to save myself. Fuck, I wish I could just freeze everything and explain myself without fate trying to shove a gun up into my asshole.

"That's what they all say."He yelled and I closed my eyes, clenching them together. "I hope you know that you did it, you won. You got your revenge, so now it's my turn" He cocked the gun and I didn't even flinch.

But if I was gonna die Then I was gonna die knowing that he knew the truth, "He took me from the compound, I was waiting for you wearing nothing but your shirt" I chuckled and he stayed silent, as I focused my vision on the ground he stood on.

I felt my hands becoming a shaking mess as I continued. "I tried to get away but he caught me, He kicked the bedroom door down..." I shook at the memory, the moment making me sick.

{flashback}

The door fell, as I ran to the other side of the bed aiming my gun at Alexander who only had a sick look on his face. "Come on Kiara, shoot me you don't have the guts"He laughed and I shook my head angrily.

"Don't assume shit you mother fucking male prostitute," I said as I pulled the trigger, but nothing happened, looking down my heart stopped as it was out of bullets.

Alexander quickly charged at me, his hands overpowering me as he turned me so my back was against his chest. His hard-on present against the back of my ass made me want to vomit and shiver with disgust.

"You have quite the mouth on you?." He whispered close to my ear as his hand slid up my thigh, as I tried to get away. Fear and anger overwhelmed me as his hands slipped up my shirt.

His predatory hands touching me, in places, I didn't want him to. As I tried to do anything to hurt him. Using my elbows to jab his stomach but it barely seemed to affect him. "I'm gonna fucking beat the living shit out of you..." I screamed but I am cut off harshly.

Pistol whipping me he smashed the butt of the gun on my forehead, falling to the ground my ears ringing and my vision blurry, with all I could see was him standing over me, laughing at his victory.

{End of flashback}

shaking away my thoughts, I realized I was being way to quiet so I quickly started talking again

"He took me to his base and putting me in a cage, saying how he was gonna make you like him. Then he knocked me out and the next thing I remember is-" my words were quickly cut off, by Lucien's louder voice which drowned mine out

Just as thunder cracked warning is of a storm.

He interrupted me as I felt the gun place to my forehead "Stop fucking lying to me, stop fucking stalling." he growled but I just shook my head and continued with my words.

Even though my heart felt like it was on fire, and my soul felt like it was being pulled out of me I continued, even though the lump in my throat tried to prevent me. "I woke up tied to a chair...Lucien, I would have let him torture me to death before saying or doing anything for him"

pulling my hands to my chest I cried "Alexander...H-he had my mom, he had a g-gun to her head he was gonna kill her if I refused." which I felt was ironic based on the situation I was in right now. "She was at the hospital the whole time," he growled and I shook my head.

"you are a liar, I saw the look in your eyes when you said you didn't love me. I saw your eyes!" he yelled and I did something that scared me deeply, I looked up at him. His face was strained with thought and pure anger and rage, while the gun shook in his hands.

Every time I saw a gun in Lucien's hands, it never shook.

But the look in his eyes, I swear they looked so dead it made me sick. His eyes were always so magical, but they looked completely drained of everything. "I love you" I whispered and he growled angrily in response.

"You promised you would never leave, you fucking promised!"He yelled and I blinked as he stared down into my eyes. No doubt my eyes looked as dead as his. I felt dead already.

I took a deep breath, letting the cold air fill my lungs. My left hand gripping his hand which was placed on the trigger. "I should have let him kill me, but I did what I did to save you and my mom. I once told myself that would never let you have my heart, but you got it a long time ago." I choked out, as I placed my finger over his on the trigger. He took at me, for a split second with surprise, But it faded quickly, as my hand over his made him go rigid.

"Lucien, I never fucking stopped loving you. And I definitely will never regret marrying you" I smiled up at him, which felt weird on my lips. A smile that wasn't forced hadn't been on my mouth for a while, and I have to admit it felt nice. "How do I know you're not lying huh? This could be just another ploy to fuck me over!" he screamed wavering the gun slightly, as his emotions rode openly on his sleeves.

"I just want you to know that..." I whispered just as I saw the glint of a shining object coming from an open window of a black BMW. My smile quickly falling, as I knew what fate was trying to do. "You want me to fucking know what Kiara, spit it out"He growled as his guard faltered, and his stance became weak.

I took me less than a second to realize what it was, and a second and a half to realize who the gun was pointing at. Looking at the man I loved I stood up quicker then he could have stopped me, shoving him out of the way he lets out a curse as he stumbles behind me slightly, a gun firing making us both freeze before the sound of tied screeching away filled both of our ears

I felt myself get winded and my head clearing of basically every thought, as the time had finally frozen still just like I had asked it to a few moments before. "Kiara what the fuck was that"Lucien screamed as I felt him trudge up behind me like an angry bull. As my gaze faltered down to my chest.

my back was turned from Lucien's gaze, I look back up straight. I guess it wouldn't matter if he could see my eye's.

It was too late.

Lucien's stiff hand gripped my shoulder harshly; spinning me to face him ready to continue to yell the pain I had caused him. But he stood silently as he registered what had happened. His body was 2 feet from mine, but I could still feel the warmth coming off him. It felt so warm, or maybe that was just from the shock.

His face contorted as he looked at the blood seeping from the bullet wound right under my left boob. I smiled slightly as I looked into his eyes, which held a million types of things now. He blinked as he opened his mouth to say my name.

A crushing pressure seemed to build in my chest like I was being smothered while hands gripped my throat in a suffocating way. Like putting a glass over a burning flame. Felling my legs turn weak, I stumble back falling onto the cold ground which seemed to welcome me with open arms.

I caught myself with my hands, but just for a moment before I let myself

f a l l

Collapsing onto my back my breaths shallow and fast, as I bring my hand to the wound before bringing my fingers to my gaze, my digits stained with bloody hell. The fading life coming out of me in a crimson river.

Feeling the red death on my tongue, it filled my mouth.

I choked a smile, spitting it up and letting the blood spill down my lips and run feverously down my cheek. A tear escapes my eye and mixing with it on the ground.

I was already choking on my own blood as it undoubtedly started to fill my lungs.

The bitter cold of the night, chilling my body as it awaits to claim my soul. The adrenaline numbed the pain, but it still felt like hell was sitting on my chest.

Was this how I was gonna die? If it is I Don't regret this.

I could feel my blood pool beside me, spilling out and over the concrete. It made me cold; freezing.

I felt empty, but that was soon dulled as Lucien's arms pulled me to him. "Kiara, why the fuck would you do that?!"He yelled furiously as he placed his hand hard on my bullet wound, making it sting. I winced blinking away silver tears as I placed my hand onto his cheek.

"Because... -I F-fucking love you. S-so much that it hurts me." I whispered as I quoted his words from the first time he told me he loved me. And I laugh slightly, wanting what might be my last moments to be filled with the happiness and the reminder of why I did this.

"Your gonna be fine. So stop saying it like that!" he demanded, as he wiped the blood from my cheek, "l-like what"I whispered knowing already what he meant

"Like your already dead." He growled with fear on his tongue. He knew this was bad, and I could tell by the look in his eyes; he was terrified.

And Lucien, well, he was never scared.

"You're alive Kiara, so just hold on. I have people on there way..." he said brushing the hair from my face, but I interrupted him.

"I-I did this, so you would see j-just how much I love you," I told him but he just shook his head, as he looks at my wound.

Because I did. I did love him.

"Fuck there were other ways. D-don't.  Just stop dying. I-I need to fix this!" He yelled, as he pushed harder on the wound.

stop dying? as if I had a choice...

I laughed as my lip quivered, a salty tear falling to my mouth. "I made my mistakes Lucien, I needed to make t-things r-right" Lucien gritted his teeth at my response, his jaw clenching roughly.

"Then make things right, j-just hold on just for a second longer"

'just for a second longer', but I knew it was only a matter of time. Time gives but it takes. Time waits for no one and no matter how hard you beg it, it won't give you more or less of its gift.

Lucien's lips pressed hard against my forehead as a tear glistened on his own cheek. "I should have never been so quick to assume that you would...I knew you would never. But it was like I couldn't... I couldn't..." he struggled for words like he still wasn't even completely convinced.

My death would break him.

"Lucien, it isn't your fault. It's mine. a-all mine" I smiled weakly as I gripped his hand. Feeling sleep tug at my eyelids. Sleep for the first time in a while; it felt so easy, and a calm sense had wrapped around me.

"I-"I whispered and he shushed me telling me to save my breath.

but I shook my head and squeezed his hand. "I love you" I smiled as I looked up at him, as he screamed for me not to leave him, not to stop fighting.

but I was tired of fighting.

tired of this.

Just as unconsciousness slipped me under I heard him yell

" don't fucking leave me, not again "

But I couldn't stop it, as I relaxed my muscles.

the pain had stopped, and I felt free.

the most brutal but calmest darkness washing over me.

And I don't think I have ever felt so much at peace.

And blood fell instead of rain.

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This chapter hurt me so much to write I'm not gonna lie.

I will update soon, so please don't kill me...

[oh and by the way THANK YOU to everyone who voted by the way! 1 freaking K starsssssssssssss.]

Ok back to being super sad about what just happened to Kiara.

is she gonna be alright? Or will this really be the end game?

Will she live? Or will Mrs.Drug Cartal be laid to rest?

wait and see for the next chapter...

Xoxo- Abigal Knightly