I stared out into the forest as I sat on the grass thinking everything through. My mind has been spinning for a week now, and I don't know if I could take anymore of the reruns of my life.

I sighed as I pulled out some grass and threw it away. I continued to do this until I heard a voice behind me.

"There you are," I turned to see Genevieve walking to me and she sat down next to me as she was looking at me. "Whatcha doing?"

I shrugged, "Just thinking," I looked down at the grass in my hands.

"I notice you do that a lot,"

I looked up at her as she was staring at me. I sighed, "I don't usually do it, but I guess now I have no other choice,"

She stared at me, "What are you thinking about?"

"Everything," I stared at her. "Life. The universe. How everything happens and why it happens,"

She took a deep breath and let it out. "Damn, I should be high for this shit," I chuckled as I watched her lean back on her hands. "What's the meaning of life?"

I rolled my eyes, "Something like that, but not necessarily,"

She stared at me, "Then explain,"

I sighed, "How do I?" I looked off somewhere before I looked back at her. "How do you explain the unexplainable?"

She raised an eyebrow, "Depends," she stared at me. "What is unexplainable?"

I shook my head, "You'll think I'm crazy,"

She smiled, "Try me,"

I looked away and sighed, "Ok. What does it mean if someone has lived in the future?" I looked at her as I tried to choose my words carefully.

She stared at me. "Like, time travel?"

I shook my head, "Not even close," I sighed. I knew this was going to be hard. "If someone has seen the future but not only that, also lived there for an amount of time then came back, what does that mean?" I looked at her.

"You're making no sense,"

I sighed. "I figured," my brain was hurting.

"Explain it in your own words. Don't use scientific shit," she stared at me.

I nodded. "I woke up from something that I thought was reality. It wasn't just a dream to me, because it was much more real than that,"

She nodded, "How did it seem real?"

I shrugged, "I felt the pain in my dream. I felt the emotions, everything that a dream doesn't offer, and everything that happened in it, happened when I woke up," I stared at her. "Explain that,"

She continued to stare at me, "What happened in your dream?"

I looked down. "Everything. I can't explain it all, but I even met you in my dream at the matter place, and matter time. Everything was exactly the matter as in my dream," I sighed as I sat there. "I don't understand any of this," I looked up at the sky. "If you can give me a sign as to why this is happening, I'd greatly appreciate it,"

I heard Genevieve laugh but I ignored her. I needed help so very much and I had a major headache.

"God must hate you," I heard Genevieve say.

I looked at her as she was smiling and I rolled my eyes, "Yes, he does. If he was showing me what could happen if I fucked up, then I don't think I want to go to heaven," Genevieve chuckled.

"Maybe you need to see a therapist about this,"

I shrugged, "What are they going to do? Listen to my fucked up story and think just how crazy I really am? I'll be sent off in a heartbeat," I looked at her.

"Well, if you want answers about why this happened, then you need to see someone," she suggested.

I sighed. "I don't know. I'll figure something out,"

Even though talking to someone was out of the question, I would find another way to figure out exactly what the hell is going on.

*

I was sprawled out on the couch and I felt myself trying to fall asleep. I was trying to wait for Carol, but I was too damn sleepy to keep my eyes open.

When I heard the door open, and I was instantly awake as I sat up and looked towards the door. I saw Carol walk in the living room and I smiled at her. She looked at me and smiled back then laid her stuff down on a chair and walked to me.

I watched as she laid down with her head on my lap. "I'm exhausted," she yawned out. I ran my hand through her hair and she smiled.

I smiled down at her. "Busy day, huh?" she nodded and I chuckled. "You know what you need?" she made a noise and I smiled as I kept running my hand through her hair. "A massage,"

She looked up at me, "A body massage?" she questioned.

I smiled, "Whatever you want," I watched as she was up on her feet in seconds. I chuckled as I got up and followed her upstairs into the bedroom.

She started stripping out of her clothes and I stood there watching her as my eyes travelled down her body and back up to meet her eyes. I felt my face heat up and she chuckled.

I got on the bed as she was laying down and I sat down on her lower back. I looked around the room, "Where's the lotion?" I looked down at Carol.

"Hmm?" she turned her head to look at me.

I looked back at her. "The lotion?"

She mumbled, "Look in the bathroom,"

I got up and went into the bathroom and found it under the sink. I walked back into the bedroom and got back on top of Carol. I didn't notice before but she was completely butt ass naked, and this was going to be super hard not trying to get turned on.

I squirted some lotion in my hands and as soon as I touched her back, it arched up.

"Shit, that's cold," I smiled at her as I was rubbing the lotion all over. I continued to rub her back and every now and then she would make a noise.

After I got done rubbing her back, I got off of her and told her to flip over. I watched as she did and my heart was racing a hundred miles per hour as she laid there naked.

I could feel the heat to my face but I ignored it as I got on her and saw her eyes watching me. She smiled and I could have died right there. It was the way she was watching me that got me nervous and because of that, my hands were shaking while I was trying to squeeze some lotion out of my hands.

I heard her giggle, "You ok?" she asked as she was smiling at me.

I took a deep breath, "I think so," she giggled and I smiled at her as I started rubbing lotion on her.

I started from her neck and slowly made my way downward. She had her eyes shut and I was admiring her body as my hands were passing every inch.

It felt like she was a sculpture and I was the artist. As my hands passed every inch, I could feel her curves under my hands and it felt too real to be there. She was perfect in every way and I don't know how someone could be so damn perfect.

I rubbed her stomach and felt my heart swell as I rubbed circles around. I knew our baby boy was inside, and I knew that she didn't know what the gender was but I did. It felt too real to know everything up to a certain point, and I still don't know what was happening, but I didn't want to even think about it for another minute.

If I got a second chance, then so be it. I'm not going to ask God why this happened or how it happened, because I'm just happy it did happen. I'm happy that I didn't actually go through the shit that happened, and I'm glad that I didn't fuck my life up like I thought I did.

I'm happy with the woman under me at the moment, and I don't care about anything else, or anyone else, because she's the only one that I care about.

If Harge somehow does come back, then let him. I'm not messing around with him, and he can do whatever he wants but better believe that he will not mess with Carol. He won't get inside my head anymore because I'm a lot stronger now.

I somehow slid downwards and I am now rubbing her legs. I looked at her as her eyes were still shut and my face couldn't be any more redx than it already was a this very moment.

She made a noise and I looked up at her as she slowly opened her eyes and looked down at me. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm um rubbing your legs," I stuttered, which is only making my face turn more red.

She chuckled, "Are you sure?"

I squinted my eyes at her, "What else would I be doing?" I questioned. She raised an eyebrow and I knew exactly what she was talking about. "N-no! I'm not doing that!" I hid my face and she started laughing.

"Baby," I looked up at her as she was smiling. "I don't care if you do or-"

I cut her off, "No, I am not doing that. I promise, I was just rubbing your legs," I felt my face heat up and she kept laughing.

I watched her as she was laughing and she looked down at me while smiling, "I love you. You know I'm messing with you,"

I smiled back at her. "I know," I stared at her for a moment. "I love you more," I claimed.

She smiled, "Show me," she had a look of seriousness with a hint of playfulness in her smile and I knew that she was testing me.

I crawled over her and hovered above her as I took in her blue eyes and those perfect lips. I smiled at her as I admired her for a moment until I leaned down and connected our lips.

I felt her hands roam over my back as the kiss deepened and it felt like I was sinking. I couldn't breathe but I wasn't about to come up for air.

We pulled back and stared at each other for a moment without saying anything. Her eyes scanned my face as she smiled. She tucked my hair behind my ears and I smiled down at her.

She whispered, "I think your clothes are in the way," she stared at me and my heart couldn't beat any faster than it was right now.

I took a deep breath and leaned up to take my clothes off. She watched me the whole time and I felt my body catch fire from her stare. I knew that her touch alone sent my body in flames but her stare was something else.

I leaned back down and connected our lips as I felt her tug on my jeans. I smiled against her lips and allowed her to pull them off. I stared at her as she stared back at me and I felt my breath catch in my throat as I felt her fingertips slid up my sides, sending a tingling sensation all throughout my body.

I watched as she bit her lip as she grabbed my underwear and slowly pulled them off. Our eyes never lost contact with each other and I felt everything in that moment. I took a deep breath as I was now naked over her and I could feel my body heat reacting to hers.

We started kissing and it turned into so much more than that. With every touch, every feeling, every emotion, our bodies were perfect with each other with every rhythm and motion, never losing it as our bodies grinded on each other.

Her nails dug in my back and the pain was increasing but the pleasure was greater as it drowned it out. I kept the pace up as I could hear her breathing close to my ear. I kissed her neck as this gained a moan from her.

Her nails scraped down my back as I felt her let loose. I leaned up and looked at her as her eyes were shut and she was biting down on her lip as hard as she could.

I felt exhausted as I rolled off of her and laid there hearing my heart pound. I felt her turn over as she cuddled up to me with her leg over mine. I looked at her as she had her head under my neck.

I felt at peace at the moment.

I took a deep breath then let out as I wrapped my arm around her and laid there. I stared at the ceiling, and for the first time ever, I wasn't thinking negative thoughts.

No thoughts were running through my mind except Carol. She was the only thing that was on my mind and I was genuinely happy. I couldn't be happier with my life at the moment, and I knew that there was nothing that could destroy my happiness.

Nothing.

I heard Carol's phone go off and I watched as she leaned over and grabbed it from the table. She answered it and I laid there watching her. She didn't say anything for a moment and I was wondering who was on the other line.

She said a few short words then hung up. She laid her phone back on the table and I stared at her. "Who was that?" I asked as she wasn't saying anything.

She sat up and ran her hand through her hair. I sat up and stared at her for a moment. She looked at me and I could see something in her eyes as she was staring at me. "Harge committed suicide,"

I felt my heart start pounding as I was staring at her. "What?" I didn't know what to say because honestly, it shocked me.

She shook her head, "That was his brother," she took a deep breath. "They found him dead in his house a few hours ago,"

I stared at her, "Do you know why he did it?" I asked.

She shook her head, "No. I honestly don't," she looked at me. As she stared at me, there was something different about this time. Something that was off, and I didn't understand;

This time, she didn't cry.

She sighed, "I knew he had problems, but I didn't think he was that stupid," she shook her head. "Damn," she whispered.

Without warning, she moved to me and cuddled with me. We laid back on the bed tangled together and I heard her sigh one last time before it was silent the rest of the time.

I thought about Harge and how it all happened so fast. I couldn't get over the fact that it wasn't me. It was never me.

Harge killed himself on his own.

Without him or anybody else in the way of fucking up my life, let's begin a new chapter.