I stared down at my ring on my finger as I was twisting it around looking at the design on it. It looked like any other ordinary ring but if you look closely, it's so much more than that.

Every ring has a unique design, whether you see it or not.

I sat on the bed as I heard the shower in the bathroom. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was nine and we had to be there by eleven. I was already dressed and ready to go, but Carol had to take a shower so here I am, waiting.

Today was the day that we found out what the gender of our baby is going to be, and I have never been more nervous in my whole life. I don't know if it's the fact that I'm finally going to find out the gender, or the whole concept of the thing.

We're having a baby.

I still can't get over it and I don't think I ever will. It's going to change our lives forever. and honestly, I can't wait. Carol is my life and I want to spend the rest of it with her, and that's what I'm planning on doing.

I'm guessing you're wondering about Harge?

Ever since Carol told me about what happened, I was in shock. I couldn't believe it and Carol was crying her eyes out because of it. It took me a few minutes to process that it really did happen.

When I asked why he did it, she didn't tell me and I don't know why. She said that it really wasn't my business and although that made me mad, I let it go and moved on from it.

I heard the shower stop and I knew that she was getting out. Carol didn't talk to me much yesterday and she didn't talk to me today, and it really hurts to know that she's taking this a little too hard.

I understand that he was her ex husband, but I didn't know that it was going to be this bad on her.

I decided to walk out while she was getting out, because it'll just be an awkward encounter when she's getting dressed and I'm sitting there watching her.

I decided to go outside and wait for her. As soon as I stepped foot out the door, fresh air instantly hit me. It felt amazing to be outside and I need to start coming outside more often instead of being stuck inside the house.

I looked down at my sling that my arm was in, and although it still hurts, it's getting better. I don't start therapy until next week, and I really don't need it because it's getting better on it's own, so I don't need someone else helping me.

I walked down the driveway and looked around at our neighbours. It was quiet Saturday but there were a few kids outside playing, but it's not a noisy neighbourhood.

I heard a door shut and I turned around to see Carol walking outside of the house. She locked the door and started walking to the car, so I followed her. I got into the passenger seat as she got into the driver's side.

She doesn't let me drive.

I don't know what it is, but she's funny about letting other people drive her around. She doesn't let me drive and I don't understand that.

I bet when she goes into labour, she'll drive herself to the hospital.

I stared at the window as the drive was silent. I didn't want to start a conversation because I didn't feel the need to talk to her. I knew that she didn't want to talk, and I was fine with that.

I couldn't help but wonder why Harge did it. He was acting strange yesterday, and even though I couldn't figure out what, I knew there was something wrong with him. But I didn't know that it was that bad for him to kill himself.

I want to know.

I know it sounds stupid considering that he nearly killed me and tried to ruin my marriage, but I geniunely want to know what made him kill himself.

We pulled up at the doctor's office and we both got out at the same time, and we both walked inside at the same time. It was the most awkward situation ever, and I honestly hated it.

I sat down while she talked to the person behind the desk. I looked around at everyone and saw some kids here too. I didn't know if bringing your child to see an ultrasound was good or not, considering that this is my first time.

After she came back, she told me that it'll be a few minutes before they come and get her. The silence between us was awkward and I hated it, but what am I to do? She won't talk to me.

The woman came out and got her a few minutes later and I followed them down the hall. We walked into a room and she told Carol that she can change into her gown then go into the room afterwards when she's done.

I waited while Carol went behind a curtain and changed. I sighed as I stood there and waited, wondering what the gender of the baby was going to be.

Carol still wanted a boy, and I still wanted a girl.

Carol came out in a gown and I looked her over as she sat her clothes behind the curtain. She looked at me then walked to the door and I followed behind as we walked out in the hall and to the room.

The room wasn't much except for one bed with a monitor next to it. The woman asked Carol to lay down and I stood next to her. While the woman was doing whatever, I looked at Carol the whole time.

She was so beautiful and I couldn't get over the fact that she's mine. I would do anything for this woman, and she has no idea. She's my everything.

I watched the monitor as the woman explained everything, and when she pointed out the baby, I instantly felt Carol's hand squeezing mine. I looked down and stared at our hands as they were intertwined.

I heard the woman start talking about the baby, and she paused then looked at the monitor closer until she looked at us.

"Congratulations," she smiled at us as Carol squeezed my hand. "You're having a boy," she pointed something out and I felt my hand being squeezed more.

I looked down at Carol and she was smiling while looking at the monitor. I could see her eyes glistering and I knew she was about to start crying.

I leaned down and gently placed a kiss on her temple and saw her smile when I pulled back. I smiled back and held her hand tightly intertwined with mine.

My heart swelled for this woman.

*

I thought the ride back home was going to be different, but it wasn't.

It was silent and I hated it. It was eating me alive and I couldn't help but blurt out what was on my mind, "Why won't you talk to me?" I asked as I felt my eyes land on the blonde next to me.

She glanced at me then down the road, "What is there to talk about?"

I stared at her, "Everything. Why are you acting the way you are?" I questioned.

She shrugged, "How am I acting,"

"Different," I didn't hesitant,

She was silent for a moment, "I just have a lot on my mind,"

I sighed, "Then talk to me," I pleaded. "Tell me what's bothering you,"

She didn't say anything for a moment, "You wouldn't understand, Therese,"

I cringed at my name but didn't give up. "I will try to understand, Carol," I stared at her waiting. "Please," she shook her head and I began to get mad. "Is it Harge?" I questioned.

She glanced at me then the road, and I knew that I was right. "It doesn't matter," she stated.

"Yes it does. You've been acting differently ever since you found out that he killed himself," I stared at her but she was focused on the road. "Tell me. I want to know,"

"It's none of your business,"

"When is it my business!?" I yelled. "You won't tell me anything and we're supposed to be in this together!" I felt tears in my eyes but I ignored them as I stared at her.

She glanced at me and I saw something that I have never seen before.

She pulled off the road and stopped. She looked over at me, "His mom died," I stared at her as she was staring at me. "He was close to her, and I guess it killed him when she passed away," she continued to stare at me. "You wouldn't understand," she mumbled.

"Where did he kill himself?" I asked.

She took a deep breath, "They said that they found him at his house," she didn't say anything else and I knew that I was out of answers.

She started the car and left. I sat there and processed what she just told me, but even though I understand, it still didn't make any sense.

When we pulled up at the house, I watched as Carol got out and walked to the front door as I was getting out. I waited until she was inside, and I went to my car and got in.

I had more questions and I was about to receive them.

I pulled out of the driveway and away from the neighbourhood. I knew that what I was doing was stupid and didn't make any sense to anybody else, but I needed to know the truth behind this because my gut feeling is telling me something different.

When I pulled into the neighbourhood, I instantly saw the house come into view and to my surprise, I didn't see Harge's car parked at the house. My heart started hammering against my chest, and I knew that it was too good to be true.

Harge didn't kill himself.

He committed suicide in his home, and if that's the case, then isn't his car there?

I pulled into the driveway feeling more confident than anything at the moment, and I didn't know if that was a good thing or not. Considering that confidence doesn't get me anywhere, let alone killed.

I walked up to the door and decided to knock. It may have been stupid, but I'm going with my gut feeling at the moment and it hasn't let me down yet.

I waited and waited, but nobody was coming to the door, obviously. I turned around and started walking back to my car when I heard the door open. I turned around and saw that guy standing in the doorway staring at me.

He didn't say anything for a moment, "What do you want?" he asked as he continued to stare at me.

I slowly walked back to the door and stopped in front of him, "Is Harge here?" I watched as he continued to stare at me.

"What kind of question is that?" he asked. "Of course he's not," he stared at me.

I figured something out about that statement he just claimed; he didn't tell me that Harge was dead because he knew exactly who I am, and he most likely knew that I already knew he committed suicide.

I stared at him, "I want to ask some questions, and I want the answers,"

He didn't say anything until a moment, "Leave," he began closing the door but I stopped it in time.

I walked further in and watched as his eyes held something but for the first time in forever, I wasn't afraid.

He stared at me, "Look, I don't know what the hell you want-"

I cut him off, "I want to know what exactly happened to Harge," I stared at him as he stared back.

After a moment, he sighed then mumbled, "The shit he puts me through," he shook his head and walked further in the living room then sat on the couch. "Might as well get comfortable," he stared at me.

I made my way over to another couch and sat down. I watched him as he leaned up and ran his hand through his hair. He looked at me, "What do you want to know?"

"First," I stared at him. "Who are you?" I stared at him.

He leaned back but never broke eye contact with me. "I'm John. I'm his brother,"

His brother? Nobody told me that Harge even had a brother.

I continued to stare at him. "Why did he kill himself?" I asked.

He sighed then shrugged, "Many reasons," he stared at me as I stared back waiting for him to continue. "But, I guess the main reason would have to be that he felt defeated," he shrugged then looked down.

I stared at him, "What do you mean?"

He looked up and met my eyes, "When we both found out that our mom died, it crushed us but killed him, literally," he continued to stare at me. "She was the only one who got through to him when he wasn't in his right mind,"

I gave him a confused look, "What do you mean 'not in his right mind'?" I questioned as my eyes scanned his.

"He had issues when he was younger and he never really outgrew them once he was older, but he seemed to have control over most of them but he couldn't do anything about it. Our dad was an alcoholic and he beat Harge every night when he came in from drinking, and I couldn't do anything but watch. Mom didn't know about it, and dad threatened me if I said anything," he stared at me as I stared back. He continued, "Mom was the one who would help him with his problems when he was younger, she was always the one who made him have control over them and she was the only one who could do anything about it," his eyes never left mine and when the next words came out of his mouth, my heart stopped.

"Until he met Carol,"

My heart dropped to my heart and I felt the room spin as I stared at him.

He sighed, "When he met Carol in high school, he was on cloud nine and he was actually acting right and his issues weren't defining who he was because of Carol. It seemed as though she had a control over him which made him control himself," he looked down. "They ended up breaking up around graduation and it was a nightmare to him and the rest of us because his life spiralled downward. He was going crazy, mentally and physically and mom was so worried about him, that she almost called the physic-ward," he shook his head then sighed. "I thought he was going to kill himself so I ended up contacting Carol and telling her everything that was going on," he took a deep breath. "They got back together and he was acting right again. They made it all throughout college, and then got engaged a few years after. They were perfect together," he looked up and met my eyes. "Until they started fighting every night and day, and Harge was slowly losing it as he started drinking and doing drugs, and abusing her," his eyes stared into mine and I felt my throat close up. "I couldn't do anything. Of course I knew he was abusing her but he threatened me if I went to the police. Hell, he was part of them so they wouldn't care anyways, so I thought it was a waste," he shook his head and sighed. "I watched my own brother turn into someone that he wasn't,"

I watched him as I couldn't think of anything to say. I had no words from what I just heard and I was still processing it.

There was another question burning in my mind.

"Is that why he was trying to get Carol back?" I watched as he looked at me and I stared at him. "He wanted her back so that she could help him?"

He sighed, "To be honest," he stared at me. "Mom wasn't doing so good when Harge moved up with me. We found out two years ago that mom was doing a lot worse and-"

I cut him off, "Wait," he stared at me. "Harge went to jail a few years back, right?" he nodded. "So, he got out five years later?" I watched as he stared at me.

"I think he only spent three years in jail, and when he got out, he started thinking about moving upstate with me but never did because of mom," he sighed. "He wanted to be closer to her so he stayed here for a few years until he moved in with me," he looked down. "He moved back as soon as we heard that mom wasn't doing any better. I stayed down here with him for a while until I had to go back, but I kept visiting as often as I could," he took a deep breath. "Well, one night, we were here at his house talking about things and the subject of Carol came up and he said that he couldn't face the reality of mom dying without knowing that he has at least something to fall back on when she dies," he looked down and I heard his voice crack. "He mentioned you and said that if it wasn't for you, then he would still be with Carol and he wouldn't feel like his life had no purpose anymore," he took a deep breath. "We both knew mom was dying, and Harge started his shit again and made me do things that I was not prepared to do," he looked up at me.

"He made me shoot you,"

I stared at him as I could see tears in his eyes.

"I didn't want to, of course not. I didn't even know you and I never did anything like that before but being Harge, he threatened me and told me that he needed Carol back," he shook his head and looked down. "Harge was going crazy and I couldn't stand up to him. Nobody really can because he doesn't have control," he was silent for a moment. "When he killed himself, it felt like the world stopped and nothing made sense anymore," he looked at me. "I don't blame you, Terry. If that's what you're thinking, then stop thinking about it. I don't blame you for my brother's death. I blame him. He could have controlled himself, but he didn't and he relied on other people to help him when he could have helped himself," he sighed and sat there.

Everything that I just heard was being processed and even though I heard it, I still couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe everything I just found out, and it made sense about everything now.

I got up and walked over to him. I sat down next to him and hugged him. He pulled me in tighter and we stayed like that for a while.

When we pulled back, we started talking about things and it felt weird to connect with someone who I never thought I would connect with. He wasn't anything like Harge and I was glad of it. Maybe Harge chased the wrong people who he thought would cure him, when in reality, all he needed was his brother.

Harge was out of the picture for good. I felt bad for him, but at the same time, I got what I needed, and now I know that nothing will come between Carol and I anymore.