Song^ Hold Me Down by Halsey

"Motherfucker!" I screamed out as the pain was increasing with every movement that I made. Carol looked at me after she pulled my shirt down and I looked back at her as the pain was slowly fading.

"I'm sorry, baby," she pecked my lips and I smiled against them.

I looked at her, "It's ok for the hundredth time,"

Everytime she accidentally touches my shoulder, she apologises when I yell out in pain. It hurts like hell, but I always tell her it's ok because I know she doesn't mean to do it.

She grabbed my sling and pulled it over my shoulder and I laid my arm inside of it. She started adjusting it and I watched her.

Before I was released, the doctor told me that I would have to wear a sling until I get out of therapy. It'll help me from moving my arm, which I'm glad, because I always seem to forget until that pain wave shoots through me.

She looked at me and smiled after she was done, "All good," she kissed me again. "I'll be downstairs in the kitchen if you need me," I nodded and watched as she walked out of the room.

I sighed and walked over to the mirror to look at myself. When my reflection came into view, I saw a fucked up woman in front of me. I examined my arm through the mirror and I couldn't help but think about how everything happened.

It's been three days since I was in the hospital, and one day after I was released. They didn't let me go until Sunday morning, and I was so relieved because I was ready to get the hell out of there.

Everyone came by to see me that day Carol called them. As soon as they all walked in, not at the same time, they all started crying. I have never seen so many crying people in one place, not even a funeral.

I was happy to see everyone and they stayed for a while. They all said they would come to see me once I got out, so I'm holding up on their promise.

The police were there to ask me questions about everything and I lied to them. I couldn't bring myself to tell them, although nobody else was around me to hear anything, but still, I know that the police are on his side, so there's no point in telling them anything.

I stared at myself in the mirror and thought of Harge. He seemed to be on my mind ever since I woke up in the hospital, and I can't seem to shake his face out of my head. I remember what his facial expressions were perfectly and don't think that I don't have nightmares because of it.

I woke up Saturday morning in cold sweats because I dreamt of him and I honestly have never had a more terrifying nightmare in my life.

But, no matter how much I hate him, no matter how much I want to make him pay for everything that he has caused. There's only one problem;

He's still a threat.

He is still out there, and he will still try anything to get to me. He stooped so low into having someone shoot me, and there's no doubt that if he's twisted mind would go that low, that he won't stop until I'm dead.

I have to figure out a way to get to him. The only way to get to a physcopath, because that's what he is, is to get inside of their head and be just as much of a psychopath than they are.

I walked downstairs and with every step I took, it sent tiny pain waves through my arm. I bit my lip until I was off of the stairs and I don't know how I'm going to be able to keep doing that.

I walked into the kitchen and found Carol at the table on her laptop. I shook my head as I walked to her and sat down across from her. I watched her until she noticed me and she took off her glasses.

"Hey," she looked at me and smiled.

I stared at her, "What are you doing?" I motioned towards the laptop.

She looked down at it then back up at me, "I'm just doing some paperwork,"

I sighed and stared at her, "Why didn't you go to work?" I questioned.

Carol took off from work today to stay with me. Although Richard offered to stay with me all day until she got home, she still didn't give in. She wanted to stay with me and that was the last of that argument.

"You know that I wasn't going to go in today knowing that you needed me," she stared at me.

"Richard said he would be more than happy to stay with me, so that you wouldn't miss work," I watched her.

She sighed, "I know, but I would have been so worried about you all day that I wouldn't have been able to focus," she excused.

"Carol, I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself," she opened her mouth to speak but I continued, "Not in this current situation, but Richard can take care of me in my dying needs when you're not available," I stared at her.

She looked down for a minute. I watched her as she sat there not saying anything. She finally looked up and met my eyes, "It's hard," she sighed.

"What's hard?" I watched her.

She shook her head and ran her hands down her face. "It's hard to leave you knowing that something could happen to you," she looked at me. "Now that I know anything could happen, it makes it harder to walk out of that door knowing that I'm leaving you behind for God knows what will happen to you," she wiped her eyes.

"Carol," I started. She didn't look up but I continued, "I am going to be ok. Stop stressing over every little thing. There is nothing to worry about, ok baby?" I stared at her for a moment.

She looked up at me but looked down at her laptop and didn't say anything else to me. She messed with her laptop and I sat there watching her and wondering what was going through her head.

I heard the doorbell and I got up to answer the door. I opened it and saw Billy standing there. He smiled, "Hey," he pulled me into a hug and I patted his back with my right hand. We pulled back and I moved out of the way to let him come inside, "So, how are you?" he asked as soon as I shut the door.

I nodded, "I'm doing good," he nodded and we walked down the hall to the kitchen.

Billy greeted Carol when we walked in and Carol acknowledged him then focused back on her laptop. I looked over at Billy as he looked at me. I shook my head and motioned for him to follow me.

I walked outside to the garage and turned to him, "Carol isn't in the best mood,"

He nodded, "I kind of got that from her," he stared at me. "What's wrong?" he questioned.

I sighed, "She doesn't want me to stay here by myself or with anybody for that matter, without her. She thinks that something is going to happen to me," I shook my head. "I wish she wouldn't worry so damn much,"

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked at me, "Well, I mean, I kind of see her point of view with the whole situation, but I don't know," he shrugged.

"I understand that she's worried, but she can trust Richard to watch over me, I mean, I'm not a damn child who is going to get into everything," it stresses me out knowing she's acting like this.

He stared at me for a moment, "Terry, listen," he started. "I found you dying on the floor in a house on the street where my brother lives. Now, I don't know why you were there or whose house it was, but you got yourself into a situation, obviously, and it's kind of hard to not worry about you after what happened," he stood there staring at me.

I guess he had a point.

I ran my hand through my hair, "Yeah, I guess you're right," I stared at him as he nodded.

It was silent for a while until he spoke, "So, if you don't mind me asking, why were you at that house and whose house was it?"

I stared at him as I thought about what I should say. I didn't know what to tell him and I didn't know if I was going to make the right decision.

I looked towards the door of the garage then back at him, "Um," I paused and watched him as he was waiting. "Ok, if I tell you this, you promise not to say anything?"

He stared at me, "Say anything to who?"

"Carol or anybody," he raised his eyebrow and I stared at him. "Just until I figure everything out,"

"Ok," he said slowly. "I'm afraid that what I'm about to hear is going to follow me to the grave," he stared at me.

I sighed, "Remember Harge?"

He stared at me for a moment, "Harge?" he questioned. I nodded. He thought for a moment, "As in, Mrs. Aird's ex, Harge?"

I nodded, "Yeah, him,"

He nodded, "Yeah, I remember that asshole,"

I chuckled, "Ok, well," I took a deep breath. "I ran into him about two weeks ago, and he told me some shit about Carol and lied about it, then her and I got into a fight," I paused. "Well, he knew that we were going to get into a fight and when I ran into him the second time, he told me how I took her from him and that he wanted her back and all this shit, then he said that I would get what's coming to me and that's when he started fucking with my life and hurting everyone close to me," he watched me for a moment and I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I had enough of the games he was playing so I went to his home, and that's when I got shot," I looked down and avoided eye contact.

Saying that out loud was harder than I thought it was going to be.

I looked up and met his eyes as he was staring at me. "He shot you?" he asked. I shook my head. "Then who shot you?"

"I don't know who shot me because someone else was in that house other than him,"

He thought for a moment, "Have you got the police involved?"

I shook my head, "No, because there is no doubt that they are on his side,"

He nodded, "Yeah, once a pig, always a pig," I chuckled as I remembered what he said in the classroom that day. He sighed and looked at me, "So, what are you going to do?"

I stared at him as I thought about every possible thing I could do. I looked at him and I knew that what I was thinking is probably not the smartest thing ever, but what the hell, right?

"I'm going to find Harge, and make him pay for what he has done," I stood there and watched him as he stared at me.

He didn't say anything for a moment. "I think you may be the dumbest person alive," he shook his head. "You're actually going to go and fuck around with him again, after what happened to you? That's some crazy shit," he shook his head and stared at me. "But, I'm in,"

I stared at him, "You want to come?"

He nodded, "Hell yeah. I'm not letting you do anything stupid alone, plus, I know about your plan and I don't want anything to happen to you knowing that your blood is on my hands,"

I smiled, "Thanks Billy. But you don't have to do this,"

He shrugged, "But I want to. Plus, I hate Harge just as much as you do," I chuckled and he smiled, "So, what's your plan?"

I sighed, "I don't know. I can't exactly do anything with my arm fucked up, and Carol won't let me out of her sight for long and she'll be worried if I just disappear,"

He nodded, "I understand, but are you willing to lie to your wife?"

I shook my head, "Dude, if you knew how much I have lied to her, I don't think it matters," I sighed. "All these lies are going to come and bite me in the ass for sure and there will be no way to escape them,"

I'm praying nothing bad happens and that I won't have to face the consequences later.

We stood there for a moment not saying anything. I tried thinking of something to come up with, a plan or something, but the way my situation was at the moment, I was fucked up.

I looked at Billy and instantly knew, "I have a plan," he nodded and stared at me. "Follow my lead, ok?" I walked back inside with him following me.

I walked in the kitchen and saw Carol sitting at the table. I looked at Billy and nodded then looked at Carol, "Babe," she looked up from her laptop. "The police just called me and told me that they have my car," I saw Billy look at me from the corner of my eye but I ignored him.

She stood up, "Do you need me to drive you?" she asked as she stared at me.

I shook my head, "No, Billy is going to take me. It shouldn't take long,"

"You can't drive back," she informed me.

I nodded, "I can drive with one hand, don't worry about it babe," she stared at me and I was praying that she would buy these lies.

She sighed, "Ok," I smiled and she looked at Billy, "If you let anything happen to her-"

"We get it babe. Nothing will happen, ok?" I walked to her and kissed her cheek. When I pulled back, she stared at me and I saw something in her eyes that made this guilt eat me more.

"I love you," she spoke out.

I slightly smiled at her due to the terrible feeling I had inside of my stomach, "I love you too," I told her goodbye as Billy and I walked out.

I grabbed something from the garage before we walked to his car. As soon as we both got into the car, I was instantly hit with questions.

"Ok, why the hell did you just lie to her? and why are you lying to her? How long have you been lying to her?" he started the car and I stared at him as he looked over at me.

"It's not that bad," I reassured.

He chuckled, "Not bad? I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that lying to your wife multiple times to cover up the truth is worse than bad," he said as he was backing out of the driveway. He sighed and shook his head, "I can't believe I let you drag me into this,"

I stared at him, "Dude, if I recall, you said to yourself that you were in. I didn't drag you into this,"

He looked at me then the road, "This is going to follow me to the grave," I rolled my eyes. "This is serious, Terry. Do you understand how stupid you are?" he asked.

I nodded, "Yeah," I stared out the window and heard him sigh.

"Judging from what you told me, Harge isn't someone to mess around with. He could kill us both," I looked over at him as he was watching the road.

"But he's not going to," I reassured. "He's going to pay this time," I whispered out and watched all the trees go by.

*

When Billy turned down the road to that same street, my heart was racing and my hands were sweating. I knew that I was nervous, but I also knew that this was about to be the end.

I saw my car down the street and I was surprised it was still there. I pointed at it and told Billy to stop. I got out and looked around it and inside, and sure enough, nothing was stolen and it looked fine.

"Hey," Billy yelled out the window. I walked to him and he nodded towards a house, "That's my brother's home, and I want to give you something, ok?" I nodded and watched as he parked the car and I followed up the driveway.

He got out and told me to follow him inside. We stepped in the house as soon as he unlocked the door and he motioned for me to follow him. We walked into a room and I looked around as he was looking through the closet.

When he walked back to me, he held up a vest and looked at me. "This is a bulletproof vest," he looked at it. "It'll come in handy," he looked at me.

I nodded and grabbed it with my right hand. "Damn, it's heavy," he chuckled and nodded. "Well, the only way for me to put it on is for you to help me," I looked up at him.

He nodded, "Of course. I'm not a pervert, so I won't look," I chuckled and told him how to take my sling off. I watched him lay the sling on the bed and he turned around to face me.

"Ok, so I have to take your shirt off but just a reminder, I'm not going to look," he stared at me.

I nodded, "Just go slow so it won't hurt," he nodded and grabbed the end of my shirt.

He slowly pulled my shirt up and the pain from my shoulder was increasing as my arm was being raised. I bit my lip as my shirt slowly went over my head. I breathed out and watched as he took the vest and slowly pulled it over my head. My right arm went through first, and my left arm went last. Pain shot through my arm but I quickly got over it as the vest was over my body and I looked down at it.

It felt weird to have it on, but knowing what Harge was capable of doing, I would need it more than anything.

Billy pulled my shirt back on me then grabbed my sling and put it on me. After he adjusted the sling, I looked at him, "Thanks,"

He smiled, "No problem," he looked at me. "Now, let's go kick some ass,"

I chuckled as I followed him out of the house. As he was locking the door, I walked to the car and grabbed some tape I got from the garage. When I walked back up to him, he looked at me.

"What's that for?" he motioned towards the tape.

I looked at him, "This is for my hands," I slowly started taking my sling off and I handed it to him.

I told him to tear some off and wrap it around my hands. He did as he was told and I watched him. After he was done, I took the tape back to the car and walked back to him.

I nodded towards him, "Ready?"

He took a deep breath, "I guess so," I chuckled as we walked down the street. I could tell he was nervous but I was nervous too.

My arm started hurting and I prayed that I wouldn't fuck it up anymore. I didn't want to have to explain or lie to Carol or anybody else.

These lies are going to get me killed.

As we started approaching the house, I saw his car parked outside and I knew he was there. I looked over at Billy, "Ok, so here's the plan," he looked at me as I continued. "I'm going to sneak in through the back, and you're going to go to the front and get his attention so that I can be inside the house," he nodded. "He won't recognize you, so there's nothing to worry about," he nodded again and I knew that calmed his nerves a little.

As we were close to the house, I went through the backyard and watched Billy walk to the front door. I looked around for an open window or something, anything for me to climb through.

Unfortunately, there wasn't any open window, but to my surprise, the back door was wide open. I peeked through before walking inside. My heart was pounding against my ears.

As soon as I was inside, I heard voices and I instantly picked out Billy's voice. They couldn't see me from where the back door was and I was thankful for that. I quickly dismissed them and went down the hall and spotted a door open.

I crept inside and slowly shut the door in hopes that when Harge comes in here, I'll be able to hide. I turned around and my heart instantly stopped in my chest as I was face to face with my worst nightmare.

"Hello, Therese," Harge smiled at me as he was standing in front of his mirror looking at me through it. I couldn't hardly breathe as I stood there staring at him. He turned around and looked at me, "I thought you would have learned your lesson by now," I felt my ears start ringing. "But, I guess you never learn because here you are, in the same situation that nearly got you killed before," he chuckled and shook his head. "If only it did kill you," his eyes stared into mine.

I tightened my fist as I stared at him, "I don't know what your problem is. If you're born a psychopath or you just became one over time," I watched him smile at me and it sent a chill up my spine.

He shook his head, "Therese, Therese, Therese," I watched him smile at me. "You still don't understand," he sighed, "I mean no harm. I'm just trying to get back what's mine, but since you can't understand that, I'm forced to send the message across somehow,"

I shook my head, "Carol is not yours,"

He chuckled, "She was mine," he looked at me. "Until you took her from me,"

"I didn't take her from you!" I yelled.

He took one step towards me and quickly grabbed my throat. He brought his face close to mine and stared at me, "You did take her from me! How would you like it if someone came and took her from you!?" he tightened his grip around my neck.

I grabbed his arm with my right hand and I started feeling pain through my left shoulder. I winced in pain as I tried to pull his hand back from my throat.

Within seconds, I started feeling the worst pain through my shoulder, and when I looked, I saw Harge pressing down on it. He smiled at me, "Oh, I'm sorry, does that hurt?" he pressed harder and I yelled out in pain.

I didn't think twice as I brought my knee up and connected it between his legs. He stumbled back and I took the opportunity and swung my fist against his face. When it made an impact, he stumbled to the side and held his face.

I didn't give him a chance as I was quick and I swung again. This time he grabbed my wrist and brought his foot up to my stomach and kicked me back. I stumbled back and ended up falling over something.

Pain shot through my shoulder but I quickly ignored it as I got up and was face to face with him. He smiled at me but didn't say anything as he was staring at me.

I knew I had to get him off balance so I had to dismiss the pain in my shoulder and be quick. I quickly rushed to him and tackled him to the ground. As I sat on him, I started throwing punches after punches. I started seeing blood but didn't stop until he pushed me off.

I got up as soon as he pushed me off and he was up on his feet in seconds. He rushed to me and I ducked away from him as I ran to the door and ran out. I ran down the hall and to the living room and looked around but didn't see Billy anywhere.

"Billy?" I called out in panic, but I didn't see him anywhere.

I turned to see Harge in the living room and he was trying to catch his breath. He looked at me and I saw something in his eyes that absolutely terrified me. He straightened up and continued to stare at me. "I don't know if you think this is some kind of game," he took a step towards me. "But I'm not going to chase you around. You came here for a reason, correct?" I stared at him as he stared at me. "If so, then what are you waiting for?" he questioned.

I stared at him as he was standing there with a stupid smile on his face. I tightened my fist then ran towards him. He was on guard as I tried to grab him but he grabbed ahold of my wrists and I winced in pain as I was fighting against him.

He pushed me back and I kicked his stomach. He stumbled backwards and I ran around him. He tried grabbing me but I kept running around in circles. I knew what I was doing, and sure enough, he'll get tired and will have to stop.

I'm just waiting.

I kept running around and he was cursing under his breath with every motion I did once he tried to grab ahold of me but I quickly ducked from his grip. I was starting to get dizzy but I had to keep going.

Finally he stopped to catch his breath and I took the chance to jump on his back and wrap my arms around his neck.

I tightened my grip as he was struggling to grab ahold of my arms but I kept my grip. He walked backwards and made my back to the wall. I winced in pain but ignored it as my grip never loosened.

I could tell he was losing air and I was counting in my head as to when to let go and drop him. After seven seconds, I quickly released my arms and jumped off his back as I heard him gasp for air.

He turned around and faced me before trying to grab ahold of me but I jumped back then quickly rushed to him and grabbed ahold of his waist and tackled him to the ground.

We fell in an instant and I was on top of him once again. He grabbed my wrists and started pushing away as I was fighting back harder.

I couldn't get my hands free and my shoulder was starting to hurt. I couldn't keep fighting against him because I knew he was a lot stronger than I was and it was useless to keep trying.

I took a deep breath and head-butted him.

He quickly let my hands go and I took this opportunity to punch him as hard as I can. I swung my fist back and hit his jaw. When it connected, he laid there motionless and I quickly got off of him and stared at him.

I felt pain shoot through my shoulder and I quickly looked around and called for Billy again but didn't hear him. I stared at Harge on the ground and began to wonder; if Harge was in the room when I came in, then who was Billy talking to at the front door?

I walked to the front door and was hesitant about opening it. I didn't know what was behind it or who. I slowly opened it and walked outside and looked around and instantly saw Billy.

I smiled. "Billy!" I yelled.

He looked at me and walked to me, "Hey, are you ok?" I nodded and he quickly looked inside. "Holy shit," he saw Harge laying on the floor and he looked at me. "Did you kill him?"

I shook my head, "I just knocked him unconscious. Where the hell were you?" I asked.

He looked back then at me, "The guy who answered the door wasn't Harge, obviously, but then we heard screaming and I knew it was you so the guy was about to see what was going on but I had to do something, so I pulled him outside and we wrestled on the ground until I scared him off," he looked at my arm, "Damn, your arm,"

I looked down and saw it bruised worse. I sighed and shook my head, "I'm in deep shit,"

He looked at me, "Not like you already are, huh?" I pushed him and he chuckled. "What are we going to do?" he motioned towards Harge.

I sighed, "Leave him,"

"What if he wakes up and comes after you again?" he asked.

I shook my head, "Maybe he won't," I looked back at him then at Billy. "I kind of went crazy on him so maybe he'll think twice before messing with me again,"

He chuckled, "Damn, I wish I could have seen that," I rolled my eyes. "Well, we better get back and hurry," he looked around. "I don't know where that one guy went, but no doubt that the police will be here,"

I nodded and I shut the door as we walked down the street to his brothers. As we walked up the driveway, Billy informed me that I needed to take that vest off and return before his brother finds out it's gone.

We went inside and after we walked out, he helped me put my sling back on and I thanked him as I watched him take the tape off of my hands. I started feeling pain in my stomach and when I lifted my shirt up, I saw a bruise the size of a foot.

"Holy shit, Terry," Billy stared at my bruises.

I sighed, "There's another thing I will have to cover up," I knew that these lies would kill me and sure enough, that's where I'm headed.

"Terry, maybe you should just tell her the truth. I mean, she'll understand, hopefully, and you won't have to keep lying to her," he shrugged. "I mean, that's what I would do,"

I sighed, "Yeah, I know that lying to her isn't the best, but these lies have been building up for two weeks now. How the hell am I going to get through it?"

I'm scared of what she's going to do. When she finds out that it's Harge who's been doing all of this, she'll most likely hate me. There's no doubt that it's going to happen once all these lies come and bite me in the ass.

"Just do what you think is right," he suggested.

I nodded and told him that I will drive my car back and he could follow me. I walked to my car and got inside. I started it up and drove out of that neighbourhood with so much shit going through my head that I didn't know what was waiting for me back home.

But I was scared shitless.

*

If my heart wasn't pounding hard before, it sure is now. I'm pulling up in the driveway and the sound of my heart is the only thing I can hear at the moment. Everything else was deafening.

I got out and saw Billy pull up. I took a deep breath and walked to the front door where my hands were shaking and my legs felt like they were about to collapse.

I opened the door and walked inside to where the temperature got freezing. I knew that this was the time that I would have to explain everything to her. I couldn't lie anymore.

I had to tell the truth.

I heard Billy walk in behind me as I made my way to the living room and saw Carol sitting on the couch with her laptop in her lap. I walked to the couch and looked at her, "Hey babe," I watched as she looked up at me.

"Hey," she smiled and looked over at Billy then at me. "Where have you two been?"

I sat down on the couch and watched Billy sit on the chair. I looked at her, "We were at the police station, remember?" I caught sight of Billy but I ignored him.

She nodded and shut her laptop then looked at me, "What did they say?"

I shook my head, "Nothing really. Just got my car back," I looked over at Billy and he was staring at me.

She nodded, "Ok," she stared at me and I felt pressure under her stare.

Billy cleared his throat, "Well, I have to go," he stood up and smiled at Carol, "I'll talk to y'all later," he walked behind the couch and gave me a look.

I sighed and sat there until I heard the door click. I looked at Carol and I knew this was coming. I knew that this was the time, and that it might never be the same after this but I have to do it.

I took a deep breath, "Carol," she looked at me and I could feel my heart pounding.

"There's some things I lied about,"

She continued to stare at me and I took a deep breath.

Here it goes.