"Carol, you have to eat something," I shook my head and pushed the plate away. "Carol, please. You have to feed yourself and the baby. Think about that!"

I looked up at Richard as he was demanding for me to eat but I didn't respond. He sighed and sat down next to me, "Carol, listen," I looked at him. "I know what you're going through. We're all going through it, so you're not alone. But damn it, stop doing this to yourself!"

I quickly stood up and stared at him. "I don't give a damn! I don't care about anything anymore! I want Terry! I want her back!" I cried into my hands and I felt Richard pull me to him but I pulled back and looked at him. "I loved her," I felt tears roll down my cheeks. "I fucking loved her,"

He stared at me, "You think I didn't? She was my best friend, Carol! But there's nothing that we can do! You have to face reality!"

"No! I'm not giving up my love for her! I won't do it!" I shouted at him as he stared at me.

He grabbed my arms and made me look at him, "Carol. You have to let go. I know it's hard, because it's hard for me too, but you have to let go," I saw tears roll down his cheeks.

I broke down crying for the hundredth time today. I never get a break from crying because half of my heart is gone and that's all I really know what to do now; is cry.

It's been a day since we left the hospital. Everyone was a mess when they left and we all seemed to not want to talk about it. But, I needed something to help myself cope and the only way to do that is to talk about Terry. Talk about her like she's still here with us and she's not gone.

I lost the love of my life.

I lost everything.

When we left the hospital, the doctor tried to talk to me but I refused. I didn't want to hear what he had to say because I've heard enough as it was.

Nobody wanted me to be by myself, so Richard offered to stay with me until I was ok again. But that's the thing; I won't ever be ok. I'm never going to wake up with a smile on my face or the feeling of being happy pulsing through my veins.

There's nothing about my life that is happy anymore.

The only thing that is half keeping me going is the baby. I can't imagine what would happen if I lost it too. I couldn't deal with the pain. I haven't exactly been treating myself right the last day and it hurts.

Everything hurts.

"Carol," Richard stared in my eyes. "Please eat," he begged as I could see his eyes begging also.

I nodded and sat down. I decided to try and eat something, but I wasn't doing any better if I wasn't eating. I had to think about myself and the baby before anything else.

As I was eating, I heard the doorbell and Richard excused himself as he walked out of the kitchen. I was left with my thoughts and I wanted to cry, but I tried to hold back the tears.

I hated this. I hated this gut pulling feeling, like my stomach is in knots and my heart aches. It aches so damn bad that I can't breathe sometimes.

I heard noises coming from the hall and when I looked up, I saw Billy walk in with Richard behind him. He came to the table and stood across from me and slightly smile, "Hi,"

I nodded and choked out a response, "Hi," I looked back down at my food and instantly felt sick. I pushed the plate away and sighed.

"Um, how are you doing?" I looked up and met Billy's eyes as he was staring at me. I shrugged but didn't say anything. I watched as he sat down and looked at me, "I understand," he sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I woke up this morning thinking about what happened, and at first I thought it was a dream but then reality hit me and I sat in bed replaying what happened and I couldn't bring myself to realise that it was real," he stared down at the table. "I miss her,"

Richard came up behind him and patted his back, "We all miss her bro. But life happens, and sometimes things happen that we're not prepared for,"

I stared at Richard for a while until I realised that I never asked him about his face. "Richard, can you tell me what happened to your face?"

He stared at me for a while, "Oh well.." he paused and stood there avoiding eye contact with me.

Before he had a chance to say anything, Billy spoke, "Oh yeah!" I looked at him as he was looking at me. "I was at the high school just before I came here, and as I was in the front office picking something up for my nephew, I overheard the lady behind the desk say that you missed work and you had some paperwork up there. So, being the nosy little shit I am, I intervened and told her I knew you and that I was in your class. Well, I asked if I could maybe drop them off for you or whatever but the lady wouldn't let me and she said that she tried calling you?" he paused and looked at me.

I shrugged, "My phone is off," I watched as he nodded. My phone has been off ever since yesterday. I didn't want to deal with anybody or anything, so I shut it off and haven't turned it on since.

"Oh, well anyways, she wouldn't let me take them to you or anything so I came by here and told you about it," he looked at me then at Richard.

Richard looked at me, "Do you want me to go and get them for you?" he asked.

Billy stared at him, "Dude, if they wouldn't let me get them, why the hell would they let you?" they stared at each other and I didn't want them to start fighting.

"No, it's fine," I sighed. "I can go," I stood up and Richard stared at me.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

I nodded, "I need to get out of the house anyways," it was the truth. I needed to breathe some fresh air to get my mind off of things.

I excused myself as I walked up to the bedroom to change. As soon as I walked in, it hit me. I instantly felt like breaking down again and crying my eyes out, but I tried as hard as I can to push the thoughts in the back of my mind and walked to the closet to change clothes.

As soon as I was done, I slipped some shoes on and walked downstairs to grab my keys. I told Richard and Billy that I would be back soon as I was heading for the door.

I stepped outside and instantly inhaled the fresh air. It felt like I could breathe again. I looked up to the sky and saw the sun shining down with a small breeze blowing and a few clouds here and there.

I walked to my car and got in. As I was pulling out of the driveway, I took one look at the house and sped off down the road. My mind was focused on one thing and I had to shake them away. I turned on some music to try and ease my mind and sure enough, it worked.

It didn't take long for me to reach high school. I parked in a parking spot in the front and got out. I made my way up to the front door and walked inside. I walked down the hall and to the front office where I was greeted by Julia behind the desk.

"Ah, Mrs. Aird. Nice to see you," she smiled at me and I slightly smiled back.

"I'm here to pick up some paperwork?" I asked.

She nodded, "Yes, of course," she grabbed a folder from her right top drawer and handed it to me as she smiled. "Bring them back whenever, dear,"

I smiled and thanked her then walked out. I looked through the folder as I was walking out. It looked like a bunch of junk. I sighed as I made it to my car and got inside. I laid the folder in the passenger seat and pulled out of the parking spot.

As I pulled out of the parking lot, I thought about going back home and I instantly felt dread. I didn't want to stay cooped up in that house. I needed to go do something to ease my mind and not make me go insane.

I thought about going to the park, but I quickly changed my mind. I drove by a store and instantly turned around and pulled up in it. I decided to get out and look around in there to pass some time.

I walked inside and was greeted by the man behind the counter. I walked down the isles and looked at everything but nothing seemed to catch my eye. I wasn't looking for anything specific, but I was just looking.

I heard the doorbell chime as I was looking at something, but I didn't pay no mind to who entered the store. I grabbed something from the shelf and went to the counter to pay. As I paid, I walked out of the store and to my car.

As I was walking, I remembered what Billy said about the school trying to call me but I had my phone off. I decided to turn my phone back on to see how many missed calls I have and so on.

As soon as my phone turned on, I noticed that I had a lot of missed calls from the hospital and one was actually recently. About ten minutes ago. I decided to call them back, but before I could, I ran into someone.

"I'm so sorry," I looked up at the man and I instantly froze in my tracks. "A-Harge?" I stuttered as he smiled at me.

"Hello, Carol," he kept a smile on his face. "It's good to see you," he nodded as he looked at me over. "How far along are you?" he asked.

"Um, I'm four months," I was stuttering like an idiot.

He nodded, "Well, congrats," he smiled at me and I nodded. "Oh, and I heard what happened," his smile faded and I looked at him for a moment. "About Terry,"

There goes my heartache again.

I broke eye contact and tried not to cry in front of him. I didn't need him to see my breakdown.

I sighed, "Yeah," my voice cracked.

He rubbed my arm, "I'm sorry. It's tragic, really. I don't understand why something like this happens,"

I looked up at him as he was staring at me and I felt a pang of something in my heart. I didn't know if it was because of the thought of Terry, or because Harge was actually trying to comfort me for the first time in years.

"Hey," I looked up at him as he smiled. "If you need anything, or anyone to talk to, call me. I live here in town,"

I stared at him, "Really?" he smiled and nodded. "Where at?" I don't know why I asked that but it slipped out.

He smiled, "I'll show you one day when you're not busy," I nodded. "It was really great seeing you, Carol," he leaned towards me and kissed my cheek. He leaned back and smiled then walked away.

I walked to my car and got inside. I sat there and thought about what just happened then I looked down at my phone and remembered to call the hospital.

I dialled the number and waited. When the lady picked up, I told her that someone had called me.

"What is your name?" the lady asked.

"Carol Aird,"

"One moment please," there was silence for a moment until she came back. "Yes, Doctor Morgan called you and I will transfer you to him, ok?"

"Alright," I waited until it was ringing again.

"Doctor Morgan,"

"Hi, Doctor. Um, this is Carol Aird and I had a few missed calls from you. I'm sorry, my phone was shut off," I bit my lip while waiting.

"Yes, Mrs. Aird, I understand. I called you because I needed you to come to the hospital as soon as possible," he stated.

"What for?" I questioned.

There was silence.

"It's your wife,"

I sat there waiting for him to continue as I heard my heart hammer against my chest and through my ears.

"She's alive."