I was rushing out of that place when I bumped into someone. Napatingin ako sa kaniya. It was Derrick.

He didn't ask me anymore, and he helped me get into the car. I was crying the whole time, and there he was driving while listening to my sobs. I don't care anymore if he sees me. I want to erase all the feelings and pain inside my heart.

Why is it easy for him to yell at me?

Throw me away like that?

Does he think of me that lowly?

Why is it easy for him to hurt me?

Was I really not important to him, at least as a classmate or friend?

Why?

My cell phone keeps ringing, and I see Anne calling me, but I don't have the strength to answer her. I don't blame her for what happened, but I hope she didn't force us to go there because I know that man will push me away again and again.

I really don't understand why he talks to me like I'm not a human being. Am I not worthy to be a person?

Napansin kong huminto ang sasakyan, kaya naman kahit namumugto na ang mga mata ko, pinilit kong tumingin kay Derrick para tanungin siya.

"Why did you stop the car?" I tried to ask between sobs.

I heard him sigh. "It pains me to see you like that," he answered. His tone of voice is still calm, but I can feel that he is worried about me. He glanced in the rearview mirror to look at me. "I've been watching you for years, and I can't help but hate the cause of your pain. If only you knew how loud you cry, it really bothers me."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"No, I was just concerned about what happened, and I'm trying to hold back to tell this to your father."

"Please don't tell this to my father. I'm begging you."

"Then, tell me what happened."

I looked at him again and tried to remember what happened and tell him without crying.

"I ruined their engagement, and he hates me for appearing like that," pagkukwento ko.

"Then why are you crying? He should be the one crying now. You did what should be done. I told you before, there was a reason why your father was so aggressive to stop you from meeting that man. He's an asshole," saad niya. He reached for something and gave me a folder.

I was confused about what it was, but when I opened it, it contained information about Jhon Rey. "He had a long-time girlfriend named Quency Llenaresas, but they broke up years ago because their families were against it. The girl went to Europe to pursue her dreams, and now she's back. Jhon Rey moved out of his family to pursue her."

I bit my lip. "Their family was there too," I muttered.

"It seemed like they convinced them to finally get married after all."

"And I destroyed it."

I thought I was the hero in my story, but I suddenly realized that I also have a chance to be the villain in other people's lives. I can't help but feel more heartbroken after hearing that story. I am the cause of their ruined engagement and a hindrance to finally fulfilling their happy ending.

Now, I just want them to be happy. I don't want to be involved in his life anymore. Nakukunsensya ako. Ilang beses ko nang sinabi sa sarili kong titigilan ko na siya, pero lalo lang gumugulo. I ended up always standing before him, messing around.

I still couldn't help but cry because, for the second time, talo na naman ako. Now, I don't know if I could love again. I always lose and get left behind. Now, I'm not the only one left; there are two of us. Pati ang ibang babae ay nasira ko ang relasyon dahil sa katangahan kong magdesisyon.

Suko na ako. Tatanggapin ko na lang ang lahat nang mangyayari sa akin at hindi na lalaban pa.

These repercussions.

Susubukan ko na lang na mas maging matatag pa para sa batang dinadala ko.

After a while, we reached home. I went straight to the room, and I was alone there. I want to rest. Today is very tiring.

I woke up the next day feeling weak. I don't have the energy to stand up and face anyone. I still feel ashamed because of what happened last night. And the guilt because I ruined the happiness of two lovers.

I heard a knock on my bedroom door. I sighed. Alam ko na kung sino ang kumakatok at kung anong dahilan ng pagkatok nila ngayong umaga.

Kailan ba ito matatapos?

I tried to fix myself before going to my father's office. I saw him sitting on his throne.

"So you went to their family dinner with your friend?" bungad niya sa akin.

I don't know if the news really had wings, and it reached him quickly o dahil makapangyarihan lang talaga siya para malaman ang lahat. I'm sure he didn't find out this from Derrick, because if it was from Derrick, he probably knew it last night.

"Yes, Dad," I answered. I knew he would punish me for what I did. I once again humiliated our family in front of his rival, but I'll just accept whatever punishment he is willing to give me. After all, I deserve it.

"Good job. This is the first time you did something good," he said with a smile that surprised me. "Your friend is a good influence. I want to see her and reward her too."

I gaped as I listened to him. Totoo ba ang nakikita ko?

He smiles as if everything is under his control.

"Look at this."

He presented me with his tab, and there I saw my face and my name with Jhon Rey. I don't know that I'll be debuting in the news this way.

"I haven't done anything yet, but it looks like fate is punishing them."

I read the article where I was.

"Daughter of the Velasco Family: Pregnant. Who is the father?"

"Irresponsible Father like His Father?"

"The son of Carpio's family is a bastard?"

"Carpio Corporation lost 10.5 million in investment in the last 8 hours."

A lot of articles are now spreading on the internet and I don't know where they came from. I feel devastated reading that news which mostly tackles how irresponsible Jhon Rey is for abandoning me. But what I worried about the most, was myself.

How can I go outside when everybody knows my secret?

"I don't know who did it, but because of that someone, our company is getting big and receiving a lot of investors right now. They are boycotting them." He looked outside his window. "I'll make them compensate for the damage they've done."

Inilagay niya ang kaniyang dalawang kamay sa gilid ng baywang niya. "I didn't know that I could use you to destroy the rival of our company."

All these years, my dad has been worn out because of Carpio's family. They always steal my father's investors. Even the locations that Dad wants to take, they take it first. So there is a lot of competition between the two of them.

I left Dad's office.

Hindi ko alam kung anong plano niya na dapat niyang isasagawa pero napigilan dahil sa kumalat na articles. Pakiramdam ko, kung iyon ang nangyari, mas lalo akong mawawalan ng mukha na ihaharap sa mga tao.

A few days passed when I decided to go to school. I thought the issue about me would subside but it didn't. They were looking at me with those insulting eyes like they were ready to kill me. Compared to before, their murmurs are louder now.

"Aren't she supposed to marry Jhunel? Why did someone else get her pregnant?"

"Maybe their marriage has been called off because of that. She's such a flirt!"

I witnessed the same thing when I entered the room. It was as if I am a disgusting person when they look at me.

"The Velasco Corporation is really different, his father is really smart in business. They used their daughter to win against Carpio?"

"Maybe they planned to seduce Jhon Rey to get her pregnant so that everything gets messy."

"It's true, even our company's investors dropped because they were interested in them."

"People sympathized with her because she got pregnant. Who knows what the real story is?"

"Can you shut up?" Anne shouted. That's when I noticed that she was already in class. "Can't you see who's the victim here? Do you think Sheen wants you to talk about her like this?"

"Yes! Because she always wants the spotlight!" shouted Dhonna. Kahit kailgan talaga, hindi nia siya tumigil sa pananalita ng masasama tungkol sa akin.

"Her father can prevent the issue from leaking, but they are not doing anything. Alam mo ba kung bakit? Because he likes what is happening or maybe they really planned this all!"

"How dare you?!" sagot ni Anne na papasugod na pero napigilan nang may magsalita pa.

"Siya ba talaga ang representative natin sa summa cum laude? Krista deserves it more!"

"Yeah right? Is she really that smart? Bakit nabuntis siya kaagad?"

Their words are so harsh now.

And it hurts me a lot.

I know I disappointed them, but how can they say something like this?

They weren't this bad to me before. Where does their anger come from?

"Can everybody shut up?! If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I was surprised when Jhunel shouted behind me. The class became silent at that moment and I was thankful for that.

Lumapit siya sa akin at may ibinulong. "Sheen May, our dean needs you in her office."

I sighed before nodding. I knew this would happen. Nakayuko ako habang binabaybay ang daan papunta sa dean's office. Hindi ko na alam kung ano pang paliwanag ang kailangan kong sabihin sa kaniya. Mukhang nakarating na rin naman sa kaniya ang balita.

"Come in," she said when she heard me knock. I slowly entered and there I saw her sitting on her desk looking so serious.

I heard her sigh. "I really don't know where to start but I feel really sad for what I've learned," Dean said. She made me sit in front of her. "So, Jhon Rey was the father of that child and he's not taking responsibility for it?" tanong niya.

She seems to have seen and read the articles on social media. We weren't a celebrity, but since I am associated with the business world because of my family and I'm here at the university where most of the students are heirs or heiresses of their companies, I became infamous and gathered the attention of them all.

"What's your plan now?" Dean inquired, looking like she doesn't have any options for me to serve too. "Are you going to force him to be the father of that child?"

I shook my head. "I never wanted that," I said. After I learned his true feelings for me, hindi ko naman na ipinilit pa ang sarili ko. I just informed him what happened but he keeps dragging me out.

"Then what are you going to do? Don't tell me, you're going to abort it."

"I'll raise it on my own."

My tears flowed. I saw Dean nod, and I also noticed that she was biting her lip as if she was also holding back her tears. She couldn't even look at me.

"You're brave," she commented.

"You know I'm not, Dean. I always do what I feel even if I don't know if it's the right thing to do."

"It is the right thing to do, Sheen May," she affirmed. "I'll do everything to support you. Promise me, you'll never quit your studies."

I nodded. "I'll be a mother and I'll endure everything they will say about me. I promise you."

Nagkatagpo ang mga mata namin. "Promise it to your baby, Sheen May. Come here. I know you need this." She came up to me and hugged me. Tears kept rolling down my cheeks. "I know, you can do it. I believe in you."

She caressed my back.

"Thank you for believing in me, Dean."

"Natalo mo pa ako. You already have a child and I still don't," she joked. "I've been married for twenty years now."

I guess that's why she treats me like her child.

I said goodbye to her before deciding to go back to class. Tamam, kaya ko 'to. Someone still loves me despite everything. Dean, Anne, Jhunel, Derrick, Rod, Mom, and even Dad seem to care about me a little.

I'll be fine.

I was surprised when someone grabbed my arm and I was surprised to see the man in front of me.

Jhon Rey.

Again, I felt nervous and scared even the smile I was forcing on my lips earlier disappeared.

"Your father did this, right? Those articles?" He confronted me. He didn't even hesitate to take me to a corner to talk. Now we are in the middle of the hallway and can be seen by many people.

"No, he didn't."

"Don't fool me, Sheen May. I know your father is celebrating now ,because he finally destroyed my family's business." He seemed really mad. I could feel it in his grip.

"I told you, he didn't and I don't know who created those articles about us!" I tried to fight him but he took more of my strength. My knees are shaking.

He looks so frustrated and looks like he was about to throw a fit. "I moved here because I want to change my life, but what are you doing?" he shouted. I noticed how students are gathering near us to eavesdrop.

"I know why you moved here, Jhon Rey. Don't try to act like you're innocent," I stated which made him grimace. I sucked my lips. "You know who I am and you used me," matigas kong sagot nang maalala ko ang ipinakita sa akin ni Derrick noong isang gabi.

"What do you mean?"

"I know who Quency is, and she's your long-time girlfriend and you used me to get her jealous so you can bring her back into your life. And that night, she was there too right? She was the one you were kissing before me, right?"

I feel hurt for that girl. How can a man kiss another woman in front of the one he really loves? I really feel like it was really heavy for her the weight of witnessing that something happening between the guy he loves and another girl. That night was a nightmare for her, I know, and if I just knew it before, I wouldn't try to enter his life.

"So you intrude on my private life now? Is that how far you can be? You're being so desperate and I couldn't believe that you can become this toxic. You're suffocating me, Sheen May!"

"Don't you try to call my name!" I screamed. It hurts when he says my name with those hurtful words. "It makes me feel disgusted hearing my name coming from you!"

I saw him smirk but tried to act cool.

"Oh, really?" I was stunned when he kissed me. I tried to push him away but he was claiming my lips like he was absorbing all of my strength. "Do you really feel disgusted?" he whispered.

I couldn't stop my tears.

He moved closer to me. "I told you, if you still insist on destroying my happiness, I'll be the one who'll make you suffer. Remember that."

Buong lakas ko siyang tinulak. "Anong gusto mong gawin ko?" I screamed. "Ako rin naman! Hindi ko rin ito gusto! Akala mo ba, ikaw lang ang nahihirapan? Hindi mo ba nakikita o naririnig kung gaano kasakit ang mga salitang nakukuha mula sa mga tao? Lalo na sa 'yo! It hurts me when you speak like I am the woman you hate in this world."

I paused as I wiped my tears. "May nagawa ba akong mali para saktan mo ako nang ganito?

I couldn't stop crying. "All I did was to stop myself because I knew you would only hurt me but why do I keep coming back to you?"

"Why do I still like you?" tanong ko pa.

"Because you're stupid," tugon niya. "I already told you that I do not love you and I will never be able to love you. You will not be happy with me."

He turned his back on me.

Naalala ko ang sinabi niya noon.

Para matapos na.

Tama naman siya.

Para maging masaya na siya.

At para maging malaya na rin ako.

Maybe in that place, the pain in my chest will disappear.

I ran to the comfort room.

And locked the door.

This is the last time I will cry.

I looked at my arm.

And cut myself.