So tama nga ang hinala ko.

Pinag-usapan nila ang tungkol sa kasal.

Hindi ako makapaniwalang magkakaroon agad ako ng asawa sa edad kong 'to.

Natapos ang klase nang hindi ko namamalayan. Hindi ko alam ang mararamdaman ko. Wala namang kaba sa dibdib ko dahil kilala na ako ng mga magulang ni Jhunel. Hindi na mahirap para sa akin na pakitunguhan sila ngunit nandoon pa rin sa akin ang pagkailang dahil alam nila ang nangyari sa aming dalawa ng anak nila.

Hindi ko alam kung masasanay ba ako dahil kung noon nakikita kong maging asawa si Jhunel, ngayon ay hanggang kaibigan na lang ang tingin ko sa kaniya.

Naglalakad kaming dalawa at pinagtitinginan kami ng mga estudyante. Hindi ako nagsasalita dahil una sa lahat ay wala akong masabi, pangalawa, I'm still full of thoughts. Napansin ko naman ang ilang mga estudyanteng nakatingin sa amin. Kahit kailan talaga hindi ako tatantanan ng mga mapanuri nilang mata. Kahit anong gawin ko, hindi na sila talaga titigil.

"So totoo ngang ikakasal na sila?"

"May nagsabing mag-ex daw 'yang mga 'yan. So nagkabalikan na sila?"

"Palagi silang magkasama, eh. Nakita ko rin sila kagabi."

"Narinig ko ring tinawag ni guy si girl as wife."

"Kung ikakasal sila, mas lalong lalakas ang alliance ng Carpio and Mercado. Mukhang sila na ang magta-top sa pinakamalaki at mayamang kompanya sa bansa."

"Sinabi mo pa, malalaking kompanya na mas lalong lalaki pa."

"Bagay sila."

Napabuntong-hininga ako.
Wala talaga akong kawala sa kanila.

It was almost 6 p.m. when we got home. Jhunel's family is also waiting there. I didn't expect them to be ahead of our arrival.

Nakangiti akong sinalubong ng mama ni Jhunel. Niyakap niya ako.

"My future daughter-in-law," she said as she kissed me on the cheeks.

I just nodded and smiled. I remember how she treated me before. She hated her son's relationship with me, which is why I felt awkward when she changed this way.

Hindi naman sa labag sa loob kong ngumiti pero wala talaga sa puso ko ang makasama sila sa hapagkainan lalo na sa iisang bubong.
Naba-bother ako. Mayroon sa puso ko na gustong umapela.

"Mabuti naman at dumating na kayo. Kanina pa namin kayo hinihintay," sambit naman ng ama ni Jhunel.

Lumingon ako kay dad at mukhang pinauupo niya na kaming dalawa ni Jhunel. Hindi na kami nakapagpalit pa ng uniform dahil hinanda na ang mga pagkain sa ibabaw ng lamesa.

Tumabi sa kaliwa ko si mom. Katabi niya si dad na katabi naman ng tatay ni Jhunel.

Magkatapat kami ni Jhunel.
Hindi mawala ang ngiti niya.

Muli akong napabuntong-hininga.
Sana hindi niya na lang ako tinulungan para hindi ako nakakaramdam ng pagkaguilty dahil ayoko ng kasal na inaasahan niya.

"Just like what we talked about last time in Europe, our businesses merge when our children get married," dad opened the conversation while he was cutting his steak.

"Some investors are eyeing our companies. Your plan to build an arena that will become the biggest in Asia is such a brilliant idea. You know, these past few months, a lot of concerts and plays have been held here in our country, and the majority of the people are looking for a broader venue," Jhunel's dad said.

"I know, but we still need investors to finally finish the project within a year or two. We need someone like Mr. Sy. If our company merges, investors will surely be interested in the plan, and the percentage of Mr. Sy becoming our ally will be high also. And when he becomes our highest investor, who else will not join our project?"

"I agree. When we convince Mr. Sy, he can also build a super mall near the area so that people don't have to travel far to access their necessities. It will be like a commercial place where everything is accessible."

"Don't forget your super hotel," Dad jokes, and I just found out that he knows how to laugh too.

"I agree kaya hindi na rin ako makapaghintay na ikasal ang mga anak natin. Our company will be one of the leading companies here in the Philippines."

"They'll be married after their graduation, right?" Jhunel's mom confirmed before she glanced at me and smiled. I can't help but feel the chills.

"Most probably," Jhunel's dad answered.

"We still have time to prepare, don't we, Sheena?" she asked my mom.

"I think what we should worry about is our kids if they really wanted to be married with each other," mom commented.

Silence enveloped us.

Hindi ko inaasahang sasabihin 'yon ni mama.

Napansin kong sumulyap sa kaniya si dad pero nanatiling nakatitig lang si mom sa pamilya ni Jhunel.

"What do you mean? Aren't they in love with each other?" Jhunel's mom asked before looking at me as if waiting for my answer.

"Love is not necessary. What matters the most now is our goals. Our businesses are our priorities."

Napabuntong-hininga ako nang marinig iyon kay dad. Nothing can really stop him.
Gusto kong maduwal sa mga pinag-uusapan nila.
Hindi ko maatim—na ang makapangyarihan nang tulad nila ay gusto pang umangat at gamitin ang mga anak nila.

Ganito na lang ba talaga ang buhay ko?

Sinubukan kong kumain pero pakiramdam ko masusuka ako. Hindi kaya ng tiyan ko na lunukin ang mga salitang naririnig mula sa kanila. Ayoko nito!

"Sweetie, ipinagluto kita ng paborito mo," bulong sa akin ni mom. Tsaka niya ako pinagsandukan ng beef caldereta.

I smiled. Finally, I can get rid of stress through this.

I tried to scoop up some of it and take a bite, but my stomach couldn't take it.

I got even sicker when I tasted the peanut. I don't know why it tastes different now. Maging ang itsura ay hindi na pleasing sa mata ko.

"What's wrong?" Dad asked. I clearly feel that all attention is now on me.

I shook my head and stopped myself, but I really couldn't help it.

I immediately stood up and ran to the comfort room. I threw up the food I had eaten earlier.

I heard a series of knocks on the door.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" Mom shouted outside the door.

A few cold grains of sweat are running down my body.

My hands are also shaking while I'm leaning on the faucet. Tears stream down my cheeks. I can see my reflection in the mirror, and I realized that they might think the way I was thinking about why I am acting this way.

I was surprised when the door opened. He saw me throwing up. Dad immediately pulled me out. I can feel his anger because of the tightness of his grip on me.

"What's going on? Why are you throwing up?" He becomes a monster in my eyes, na kahit sinong tao ay hindi magagawang magsinungaling pa sa harap niya.

"Is there something you're not telling us?" I cried even more because I could see mom's face. My chest is full of tension. I don't know if I should say it or not. I don't know how. I can't even look directly at Dad.

"Stop holding her like that, Maynard. Your visitor is still here," mom commented as she tried to remove father's hands from me.

"Answer me!" he yelled.

"I'm p-pregnant," I admitted. Kasunod no'n ay isang malakas na sampal ang natanggap ko.

"You are fucking pregnant? Am I hearing it right?"

I nodded. Nagsimula na naman akong lumuha. I do not know what to do or say anymore. I know that Jhunel and his family can still see me in this situation. I feel ashamed of myself. They witness how I bring a mess into my family and almost into their lives.

"Who is that shameless father of your child?"

I couldn't speak.

I looked at Jhunel. I know this time, he won't be able to help me. I can understand if not because I can tell from his face that he didn't expect this from me.

"It's not Jhunel, right?"

I shook my head.

"Am I thinking of the right guy? Did he do this to you?"

I nodded.

And without wasting a minute, he commanded his disciples and prepared his gun.

"Someone will be dead tonight."