I couldn't speak. I don't know what to say.

Even I found what he said and especially what he did to be confusing.

Why did he kiss me all of a sudden? Gusto ko siyang tanungin, pero masyado akong takot sa maaari niyang isagot. Did he say his heart beats faster for me? What else does it mean if he doesn't love me?

I backed away. "Give me a moment," I said as I hurried to the powder room, but before I was about to enter, I noticed a woman looking at us. She was sitting behind me. I glanced at the man I was on a date with and saw him looking at her too. That gaze is different from what he gives me every time. That was how he looked at me that night.

And my questions were answered.

I gulped as I decided to go ahead to the powder room to face myself and question why the hell am I doing this?

Is that the woman he loves? Siya ba ang dahilan kung bakit sinabi ni Jhon Rey sa akin na hindi niya ako mahal at hindi siya magiging handa para sa akin? Dahil mayroon siyang iba? Kung gano'n, bakit niya ako sinipingan ng gabing iyon kung may mahal siyang iba? Bakit niya ako ginalaw?

I sniffed as I continued looking at my reflection. Why am I wearing this kind of outfit? Why did I make myself pretty for this?

Naalala ko kung paano niya ako hinalikan kanina at kung paano niya rin binawi iyon gamit ang kaniyang mga salita. Hinalikan niya ako para ipakita sa babaeng nasa likod ko ang lahat. Gusto niya akong gamitin para pagselosin ang babaeng iyon. Iyon marahil ang dahilan kung bakit niya ako inimbitahang lumabas. Ito siguro ang tinutukoy niya nang sabihin niyang kailangan niya ako.

I closed my eyes as I proved myself right.

It seems that what Jhunel told me before was right. Bakit ba kasi hindi ko naisip na imposibleng walang karelasyon si Jhon Rey kung ganoon kagwapo ang mukhang meron siya? I shouldn't have pushed myself into that trap.

I took a deep breath before I went out. The woman at the table next to us has disappeared. I sat in front of Jhon Rey, and I noticed that there was something different about him. Our drinks also arrived, so I drank while I waited for him to speak, but he never spoke to me again.

Even when we got out of that coffee shop. He was not saying a single word. He seems preoccupied and has forgotten about me.

I never insisted on starting a conversation. I'm just following him on foot. His phase is getting faster, and I can't seem to keep up with him.

I suddenly felt dizzy, especially now that I noticed how intense the heat was. Naka-heels pa naman ako, kaya hindi ako makahabol sa paglalakad niya. Hindi ko pa alam kung saan siya patungo at hindi ko siya matawag dahil hinahapo na ako sa pagsunod sa mabilis niyang paglakad.

"Jhon Rey, wait!" pilit kong sigaw sa kabila ng kawalan ng hininga.

Hindi niya ako narinig. Mahina ba ang boses ko o nakalimutan niya lang na may kasama siya? Nakalimutan niya bang niyaya niya ako rito sa date na 'to? Bakit niya ako iniiwan?

Dahil sa pagsunod ko kay Jhon Rey ay huli na nang makita kong may makakabangga ako. Someone bumped into me, causing me to lose my balance. After that, I was dazzled by the sunlight, and my vision went dark.

I just woke up in an ambulance, feeling a little unwell.

"She's awake now," said a woman whom I didn't know. I got up from lying down. The woman helped me do so.

"How are you feeling?" I saw a man who was beside her. He seems to be her husband.

I estimated myself but still felt dizzy for my sudden collapse earlier. Right, nahimatay ako kanina habang hinahabol si Jhon Rey.

"We saw you collapse, so we called an ambulance. We also tried to call your speed dial, and someone answered, but he said he didn't know you."

I frowned. I took my phone and checked it. I remembered that I actually put Jhon Rey on the speed dial when I got his number. I don't know why I did that. Nagsisisi na ako na ginawa ko iyon.

"Your mom is on her way," dagdag pa nila.

They dropped me off at the hospital to check my vital signs. The woman who helped me also said goodbye. She didn't give me her name, but I thanked her so much for helping me. I won't forget her face, and if someday I have the chance to return the favor, I will.

A few minutes passed when I saw my mother rushing to me. I was surprised when she greeted me crying. She seems to have talked to the doctor, and she looks like she finally knows my condition.

She wiped her tears, but she looked so bothered by the news. "Sinong ama, Sheen May?" Her hands were shaking when she touched me.

"Did your ex-boyfriend do something bad to you? Si Jhunel ba?" sunod-sunod niyang tanong. Muli kong naalala na hindi ko nga pala nabanggit kay mom na hindi si Jhunel ang kasama ko roon sa one-week project. I almost forgot that.

"Did he take advantage of you?" she whined. "I'll tell your father about this so your marriage doesn't go through," dagdag pa niya. She caressed my hands, na para bang sa bawat paghaplos ay nagsasabi na hindi ko kailangang mag-alala; I got her back.

I heaved a sigh and shook my head. "Wala pong kinalaman si Jhunel dito, mom."

I saw how her reaction changed. "Then who did? Who did this to you, Sheen May?"

I remained silent.

"And why are you there on the High Street? Where's Derrick? Isn't he watching over you? Didn't he know you passed out?"

"I escaped," pagsisinungaling ko. Hindi naman ako ganito at hindi ko alam kung bakit natuto akong magsinungaling sa kanila.

She gasped in disbelief. It seems like she doesn't know if she will be mad at me or worried because of my situation.

"Please don't tell dad about this, mom. I don't want him to know my situation."

"Bakit hindi? Your father needs to know this," giit niya.

"You know he'll kill me," I responded.

"No, your father won't do that." She shook her head, wanting me to be convinced.

"He almost did it last time, mom."

She breathed deeply. I can't help but ask her. "Mom, why did you choose him?" pagtukoy ko kay dad. Isang butil ng luha ang umalpas mula sa mga mata ko.

"It's not important now, Sheen."

"It is, mom. At least for me. Sometimes, I want to say that I wish he wasn't the one you chose to marry, so I wouldn't have lived and struggled like this."

I saw the tears fall down her cheeks. She kept shaking her head as if she were also having a hard time seeing me in this state. It seems that her life was even more miserable than mine. I felt guilty because of that, and I wanted to take back everything I said. It hurts me more.

I don't want to see Mom cry. Nasasaktan ako. I know she's doing her best to raise me well, even if she can't protect me from my dad.

I wiped her tears.

"I'm sorry if you have to experience this. It is all my fault. Please don't blame your father."

I nodded as I let her be at peace.

"Alright," I remarked. "I'm sorry, mom."

She embraced me, like she was more sorry than I am from what I said. "What are we going to do now?" she trembled.

"Just give me time, mom. I'll figure out what to do," sagot ko na siyang ikinabahala niya kaya tinanggal niya ang pagkakayakap sa akin.

Pinunasan niya ang kaniyang mga luha. "Are you planning to abort your child?"

I heaved a sigh as I closed my eyes. I wish it was all just a bad dream.

The next day, Anne and Jhon Rey are absent again. Anne seems to have been busy these past few days. I can't even have a decent conversation with her. Whenever I tried to tell her my situation, her phone would ring or something would come up to interrupt us. I don't know what's going on, but she must be in a tight situation like me.

"Alright class, these are the questionnaires for the sociology project. I hope you will submit your answers before your final exam," Professor Magalona announced and left after he gave the copy of the questionnaires that our president will photocopy so that we can all have it.

I suddenly felt dizzy. Lagi akong nahihilo tuwing umaga. I held my head as I tried to ease it but it doesn't go away.

Jhunel noticed and looked at me. "Are you alright?"

I nodded. I tried to stand up and walk to the cafeteria where I planned to have lunch but I was really dizzy. I feel different now. I feel like I'm going to throw up.

I stopped walking when I felt like I was going to pass out. Fortunately, someone held my hand.

"I'll take you to the clinic." Napatingin ako sa kaniya. It was Jhunel. Hindi ko na siya napigilan nang alalayan niya ako papunta sa hospital. The nurse made me lie down in a room and rest there.

"Kumain ka na ba? Baka kaya ka nahihilo ay dahil nalipasan ka ng gutom," sambit ni Jhunel na kababakasan sa mukha ang pag-aalala. Umupo siya sa upuang katabi ng kama kung nasaan ako.

"I'll buy you food. What do you want?" he asked. I just shook my head and closed my eyes. "Even if you push me away, Sheen, I'll stay. I won't be at ease if you're not well."

Hindi ko na siya pinansin pa at pinili na lang na ipikit ang mga mata para matulog. I woke up and noticed that there was food on the side table. I got up and saw Jhunel sleeping with his head slumped over the side of the bed.

I turned to the clock. It's almost 3 in the afternoon. Does that mean he didn't attend the class?

I glanced at him again. He is sleeping soundly. He looks like he doesn't have any sleep after watching over a patient overnight.

Hindi ko mapigilang matawa sa kaniya at muling maalala ang mga panahong magkasama pa kami noon. I was surprised when he moved and slowly opened his eyes. He looked at me.

"Oh, you're awake. How are you feeling? Are you feeling better now? I bought some food for you," sambit niya bago inasikaso ang mga pagkaing nasa side table.

I tried to act like I did not care. "I'm fine. You can go now."

"Alright, I'll get your bag and be right back. Go eat first," he persisted.

He left the room just like he said. My stomach churned, so I had no choice but to eat the food that Jhunel bought me. He came exactly when I finished eating.

"I told Derrick that I'd be sending you home."

I frowned when I heard that. "I won't go with you."

"Tsk. Don't act like we never had a thing," he chuckled and pinched my nose, which brought me surprise. "I won't be at ease if I can't bring you home. You might end up fainting on the way later. Who will help you?"

The nurse came and just checked my status before I was allowed to leave.

Jhunel was carrying my bag as we walked to the parking lot. I hopped in his car when he convinced me that I might get dizzy again and completely pass out if I commuted. Sabagay, may punto naman siya. I rolled my eyes. Why did he even send Derrick home?

"Isn't that your favorite?" tanong niya. I peered through the window of his car, and there I saw the stall where I often buy fried calamari.

"Before."

"Oh, really? I guess people do change."

I just shook my head at what he said.

"I'm not talking about our past," he mentioned. Akala mo naman kung itanong sa akin ay pagbibigyan niya akong kumain. Ayaw niya kaya ng amoy no'n!

I rolled my eyes. Pero kung sinusuwerte ka nga naman, nakita ko ang mangga at bagoong doon sa may kanto.

"Stop, I want that mango. I'll go get some and eat there," sambit ko.

"Stay here. I'll buy it for you. You can eat here."

"Huh? Sigurado ka?"

I remembered how conscious he was when it came to eating in his car. Kapag bumibili kami ng pagkain noon, may dala siyang palagi na kumot para makakain kami sa labas ng kotse niya at doon umupo.

"Don't worry. It's fine. You can eat inside."

Napatango na lang ako habang pinagmamasdan siyang bumibili ng mangga sa labas. Right, it was a good idea that he insisted. I really don't want to walk. Good thing, he offered to buy it for me.

He was back in just a few minutes. I had a big smile while eating a peeled mango and dipping into the smelly anchovies. These are works of art! My cravings are satisfied.

"Do you want some?" I offered.

"Sure, ah." He gaped like he was waiting for me to feed him a mango. I picked some and dipped it in the sauce, and I was about to put it in his mouth when I munched it. I burst out laughing.

"So you're teasing me now?" tanong niya habang nakataas ang kilay. "Tsk. You still eat like a kid," he commented while wiping my lips.

"Kaya nga sabi ko sa 'yo sa labas na ako kakain, eh."

"Tsk. I told you it's fine. Even if you mess with my whole car."

I wooed him and finished my food. I sprayed alcohol after. "Sinong niloko mo? I know what kind of man you are!" I laughed at him. "Kilala kita! Kilala ko ang buo mong pagkatao!"

I saw him smile while staring at me and I couldn't help but smile too, but my smile immediately disappeared when I saw the car in front of us.

That car is familiar.

I was surprised when Jhon Rey came out and walked to the other door to open his car.

I didn't know how I would feel when I saw Anne coming out.

What the hell is going on?