I couldn't focus. The fact that Jhon Rey is already here. Just thinking of his existence makes me shiver. Hindi ko maiwasang magsisi. If I just held back and waited for a little while, I wouldn't find myself agreeing to give my ex-boyfriend another chance. I guess I put myself in trouble again.

Professor Magalona has arrived. Our class immediately became defeated because of the silence. Madalas kasi ay napaka-chaotic ng classroom namin dahil may kani-kaniyang mundo. But now, since Jhon Rey came again, no one dared to break the silence. And knowing that Professor Magalona is also here, this silence will last forever.

"We will discuss your last project in this sociology class," Professor Magalona stated.

Napabuntong-hininga ako nang muli kong maalala ang isang project namin na hindi ko pa rin nagagawa—the letter that I need to write for someone who has hurt me the most. I sat down properly before focusing on what the professor was about to explain.

"What I want you to do is do some experiments with a certain someone in which you will get to know him, how he speaks, acts, sees things, and perceives things..."

Both of my classmates were whispering their conclusions as to what Professor Magalona would ask us to do.

"And you'll do this with your seatmate..."

I saw how Jhunel looked at me while wearing that smile. Pakiramdam ko umaayon sa kaniya ang pagkakataon. I can't help but feel heavy. I don't understand why my classmates are so excited about this project.

"You'll spend a week getting to know each other better and deeper. And when I say getting to know each other better and deeper, what I mean is that you'll live with them for a week. People say you'll get to know someone better when you're with him or her in the same house," Professor added, which made me hate him. Of all the projects he has to make us do, why would he come up with this one? I thought writing a letter to someone who hurt me the most was a bad idea, but this one is the worst.

He further explained thoroughly about that project. And I can't seem to worry, especially with the idea that I will be with Jhunel for two weeks. One week living in his house, one week living in my house. Just thinking of it makes me feel exhausted.

The smile on Jhunel's face can't be erased. Bakas sa mukha niyang nagugustuhan niya ang project na ito, and I was annoyed by that thought.

"I guess it must be fate. Destiny is letting me gain your trust again by giving me this chance," Jhunel whispered as if he already knew what would be the ending of this.

"Don't expect too much," I hissed.

"Shush. Maybe this is also a way for us to get along again, for us to reconcile," he added.

I looked at him and rolled my eyes. "Too early to conclude."

"Tsk. I can make you fall for me again, Sheen, just like I did before," he commented overly confidently. I sarcastically laughed.

"We'll see if it works."

"We'll see, babe." He smirked, sabay kuwit sa baba ko. Kung ang project lang namin ay magsulat sa pinakakinamumuhian, clearly, I would write it to him.

I was surprised when suddenly Jhon Rey sneezed at Jhunel. "Sorry, allergic rhinitis." Jhunel was annoyed about what he did and was about to throw a fist, pero mukhang pinigilan niya ang kaniyang sarili.

Napatingin ako sa likod ko, and I never expected that Jhon Rey was also looking at me. Our eyes met.

It was as if my world had stopped, even my breathing. I don't know what's going on. I don't want to let go of those needy eyes. There seems to be something he wants me to know, but I can't read it.

"Anyway, where are we going first? At my house or your house?" Jhunel asked. My attention returned to him. I guess I really have no choice.

"Maybe at your house first."

****

"At pumayag ka?" Anne asked out of surprise. I told her who would be my partner in that one-week experiment, and she reacted violently. We were in the middle of eating our lunch when we decided to talk about the sociology project. It seems she does not like the idea of it either.

"I don't have a choice," I answered. I am now starting to lose my appetite. "Also, I decided to give him another chance."

"Ano? Jusko! Anong pumasok sa isip ng kaibigan ko, Lord?" sambit niya habang tumitingin sa itaas at parang nananalangin bago niya muling ibinaling sa akin ang mga mata. "Nakalimutan mo na ba ang mga ginawa sa 'yo ng lalaking 'yon? Ano bang nangyayari sa 'yo? Bakit mo siya binigyan pa ng chance? Gusto mo talagang masira ang buhay mo?"

I can see in her eyes how she cares for me. And the glimpse of tears is bound to fall.

"I had no choice, Anne. He said something to Jhon Rey that made him leave, and I was curious about that, and in exchange for telling me that, he wants me to give him another chance."

She sighs and looks like she wanted to scream the hell out of her frustration, but we're in the cafeteria, which is why she's keeping it to herself. "Sheen, I can't believe you fell for that man's tricks again. Kahit ako, hindi ko alam ang gagawin sa napakakumplikado mong sitwasyon. The fact that you two will be living together in two weeks means I don't really know what to say anymore."

"Gusto ko na lang matapos 'to." I heaved a sigh.

Pilit siyang ngumiti. "I'm scared and worried, 'cause your scars from your ex-boyfriend are in me too. Paano kung may gawin siya sa 'yo? Kahit ang mga ginawa niya sa 'yo ay hindi ko malimutan. Forcing you into something you did not want. You're just so stupid and naive, silly, you gave it all up."

My tears welled up as I remembered that time when I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. When I was so blinded by love, I did it. I sent him a lot whenever he wanted, whenever he felt down, and I can't blame myself too, because I'm scared that if I didn't do what he wanted, he might leave me.

I bite my lips when I remember all of the stupid things I did for love. I won't do that again, I swear.

"He's taking advantage of you, Sheen, because he knows you can't say 'no' to him. He had this unbelievable courage to ask what he wanted from you because you were his before. You loved him that much."

"What else can I do? As if there will be someone who is willing to trade seats with me. At hindi naman papayag si Jhunel, for sure."

"See that? You still care about him! At iyan ang ikinakainis ko sa 'yo. You're so kind. You're selfless. You tend to care so much for others and don't have anything left for yourself."

Napatitig ako sa kaniya. Hindi ko alam na ganoon pala ako. Natural lang sa akin na unang isipin ang iba. I don't really know that being an empath is bad sometimes.

"Set boundaries, Sheen. It's a way of showing respect for yourself so he can respect you too." Muli niya akong tiningnan habang paulit na napapabuntong-hininga at umiiling. "I just hope nothing bad will happen to you living with that jerk."

I gasped when I heard that. It was too late for me to realize that someone was looking at me from the other table, not that far from us. It was Jhon Rey.

I took my eyes off him immediately when I realized who that man was. I don't want him to be involved in this problem of mine. Besides, mas mabuting huwag ko na siyang bigyan ng atensyon, so he can live his life on his own. I guess I should also stop myself from thinking and believing that he is my Mr. Right because I am now giving another chance to my Mr. Left.

We went back to the class after we had lunch. I tried not to be distracted by the person next to me, especially the person behind me. Even though I don't understand how I feel for now, I know there's something in here that is growing deeper each day. The fact that he was gone for a couple of days made me wonder if I was the reason he disappeared. Yes, I am very distracted by the man behind me.

Thinking that I was breathing the same air he breathes.

That simple thought suffocates me.

He's an alien, invading my space. I realized.

Hindi ko pa siya ganoon kakilala, pero ganito na ang epekto niya sa akin. Nakakatakot. Nakakaiyak. It was very different from how I had felt before with Jhunel. Alam ko, napagpasyahan ko nang tigilan ang pagpapantasya kay Jhon Rey bilang Mr. Right ko but these feelings are overflowing. Yet, I really need to stop this.

"Sheen, I'll go first." Anne Marie said this when we came out of our classroom after class.

"Uuwi ka na? Punta tayo sa mall." I cling to her arms.

"Sa mall? Are you sure you're asking me that? It's the first time you've invited me like that. Hindi ako sanay," pang-aasar niya, making me realize my entire boring life.

"Gusto ko lang mawala 'tong mga iniisip ko. Come on, let's go to the bookstore," pagpupumilit ko.

"I'm sorry, Sheen; I have to go home now. Gusto mo bukas na lang? Would that be fine?" Anne Marie asked, looking like she really had something urgent to do, and I had no choice but to agree.

I smiled. "Napapansin kong palagi kang nagmamadaling umuwi. Are you really going home? Or are you hiding something?" My eyes narrowed, and I scrutinized her to see if I was right.

"H-ha? N-no, of course not! Dumederetso akong uwi sa bahay," tugon niya.

"All right. Be careful!" I bid goodbye.

I let her go home first Nakatingin lang ako sa likod niya na ngayo'y unti-unting nawawala sa paningin ko. Hindi ko talaga maiwasang maisip kung paano ko nakuha ang katulad niya at maging best friend ko. Never been this grateful.

I walked to the locker room immediately and fixed my things as I decided to head to the corridor. Para talagang wala sa ayos ang utak ko ngayon. Hindi ko alam pero ayoko pang umuwi. Ganito ako kapag naiiwang mag-isa. My mind suddenly became blank and then overloaded by the thoughts I couldn't think of clearly. It was all inside my head. And it sucks. I always become like this whenever someone leaves me.

I was surprised when someone walked up to me. This guy put his arm on my shoulder. I frowned when I saw my ex-boyfriend acting like he was my present.

I glared at him before I removed his hand. I don't know why he behaves like this again.

"Sorry, I just got carried away," sambit niya sa napakayabang na tono.

Muli kong naalala ang nakaraan, when we were together, every time we met, he always hugged me. He always put his arm on my shoulder. I used to like this, but now I'm disgusted. It was as if he had no respect for me anymore. We already parted ways, and I just gave him another chance now to see if he already deserved it, but I couldn't see any changes. Maybe that was the sign; I should have noticed the fact that he was giving me butterflies before because I was nervous about him. I wasn't comfortable, and that's why. Maybe I have that hunch that he'll leave me eventually and that he'll cheat.

I remember what Anne told me earlier about setting boundaries. And I want to build that respect for myself so others can respect me as well.

"Shall I pick you up on Monday?" tanong niya. I didn't immediately notice that he was walking with me. The fact that he was beside me annoyed the hell out of me. I hate him. I really do.

Hindi ko siya sinagot.

"I don't like you not talking, Sheen. You see, we have a project here, plus you give our relationship another chance so we can get to know each other again. We'll be together for two weeks. We can't prevent the fact that both of us need to talk."

Tiningnan ko siya. I can't help but feel angry. How this person, who has the looks I was obsessed with then, softens my heart and weakens my knees, all of a sudden makes me feel angry and hate now.

"No, Jhunel, I did not say that I would give our relationship another chance. I said I would give you another chance, which is for you to explain everything you wanted to explain, to clear things up that you wanted me to hear so you can live at peace, and me, leave you at peace."

Nakita ko ang pagbabago ng expression niya. Haltang hindi niya iyon inaasahang marinig mula sa akin. Well, hindi na ako ang babaeng kayang-kaya niyang paikutin na parang laruan.

"No, that wasn't my condition, Sheen May. Aren't you the one who wanted to know what I really told Jhon Rey that time? Don't you really want to know?" he smirked.

"...what I discovered?" dagdag pa niya. Nakaramdam ako nang bahagyang kaba lalo na sa huli niyang sinabi. And I don't know why I am interested in that.

"Let's make this thing clear, Sheen May. I am going to say everything I discovered in exchange for us dating again."