Song Rec. for this chapter: HONNE - Crying Over You (feat. BTS RM, BEKA)

https://youtu.be/UcY8zKEMhJs

"You know what? Delete my number May, I am not going to talk to you ever again and I sure hope your delusion will not take you to your own demise," Nia yelled, hanging up and throwing her phone in her purse.

She had had enough. Her entire life had been suffering and pain yet for once, she knew what she wanted to do. For once she knew what to wish for in her future, what to aspire to attain. Anger over not just losing her friend but her way of life is what she felt. Was it normal to feel relief from her pain? She knew she had not just lost a friend, but she had lost a part of herself. She was losing her way when she met May and now she felt like May had only been there to help her find her way to BTS. Once she had them, while she had lost May, she did not feel too alone. She had healed, she had grown, she had matured, and she had come to understand. People. BTS are simply people. The millions of posters she had once collected soon made their way to storage, and on nights when she felt like maybe, just maybe she was still obsessed, the sweet whispers in her room would remind her that she was no longer in need of them to breathe.

It had been three years since she had last heard of the man named Namjoon, May, and even Jungi. From what she heard, Namjoon had enlisted in the military, Jungi had moved to the states, and May had become blacklisted from entering South Korea without her parent's permission. It had been a wild time.

She never thought she'd see the day when she would be able to go months without consuming BTS content or checking her phone without seeing the face of the man she once considered her future husband as her wallpaper. Instead of Kim Seokjin, her background was just of a purple heart, Nia walking out of her apartment and into the street. There weren't any more Vlive alerts, no more checking to make sure whoever was hating on BTS was told off on Twitter. She had finally found her footing, and finally understood what it was like to be an adult who did not depend on idols to keep herself afloat. She had been drowning when she found them but she had finally learned to swim.

It had been a while since she had attended one of the charities, and this time she was ready to not only be an organizer but also a participant in the donations. Her hands felt cold, and Nia rubbed them together for warmth. Her hair had grown out, a sign of her maturity. There were other reasons why she had grown it out and she definitely planned to cut it off at the end of the following year, but for now, she used her hair as a reminder of where she had come from. Young girls passed by her, some giggling at the announcement of Namjoon coming out of the military, others complaining that their "Oppa" was going to enlist once Namjoon came out. While she cringed at the word now, she could still vividly remember once using that same word in the same way they were. She felt sick to her stomach whenever she thought back to how she once acted the way they did, not even being able to fathom seeing someone else at the side of her idol.

Naive. Nia had once felt so smart, but looking back, her naive nature had taken a toll on her mental health, and as soon as she had taken her time to address her needs she no longer was in need of those 7 men she considered medicine. She was finally able to stand alongside them as a human being.

Nia felt strange attending charity events. There was always an empty feeling left when she entered that little old toy store and the sight of a Santa Claus or the one who had now replaced the Snowman she and Jungi once dressed as came to view. It was awkward but melancholic. The memories were wonderful yet the feeling of something missing never went away. The more she thought about it the harder it became for her. Her only fortune from such events came when she least expected and from someone, she had never thought she could let into her life. Now there she sat, writing a large check for an orphanage that no longer needed her constant worry but that had now blossomed to be able to extend its help to others in the system.

Before she knew it, the sky had gone dark, her stride confident as she walked into a small cafe near her home. She stood in line patiently, ignorant of the fact that a familiar face now sat on one of those tables.

"Been a while," a voice mumbled, Nia, leaping back.

She took a second to collect herself, proceeding to examine the figure of the tall man who had waddled his way over to her table.

"Nam-"

The man covered her mouth, shushing her while skimming around, hoping that no one had heard the first part of his name. He took the chance to also scan her. Her appearance had changed. She was less gloomy, her hair longer, and her make-up and jewelry more subtle than it had once been. Nia smiled at him, offering him to sit in front of her. He obliged, grabbing his drink from the table he had been sitting at and bringing it over to where she was at. Her eyes were unwavering while staring at him.

"It's been a hot second, hasn't it Nia?" he smiled.

"Sure it has, but why are you here of all places?"

"Just wanted to get an attempt and feel what normalcy is like before getting back to the hectic lifestyle," he replied, sipping at his drink.

His hair was short, large dark sunglasses covered his eyes, and his overcoat wider than she remembered. There he was, the normal man named Namjoon, not the leader of BTS RM. Nia could feel the existence of a wall crumbling. He was just another normal man, another human being that existed alongside her. Humans were so complex and they all sought love from somewhere. We all seek normally and that was what both of them had achieved.

"I never did tell you I was Jungi, did I?" he admitted, the silence that they had momentarily shared broken abruptly by his confession.

Nia's eyes widened, her mind going threw many emotions before landing on a smile.

"Should have seen it coming. Would make sense since it would explain your sudden appearance at my door on Christmas Eve," she chuckled

"Well that was a bit of an unexpected trip to be fair," he replied, Nia simply shaking her head with a smirk.

"Ha, at least that was easier to deal with than the song you came out the following December. Real cringe holiday song. You composed it for Jin, didn't you?" Nia asked.

Namjoon straightened his posture, letting the sound of people fill his ears. He remembered the first thing he did while in the military was compose a song, one he could never get himself to sing, but he already knew who could take care of the vocals. As soon as he was able to get the lyrics sent to Seokjin he would have it made, and ironically the song that was not supposed to be a holiday song became an instant hit for couples celebrating the holidays, mostly because of the timing of its release.

"What's so cringe about the song? I quite liked it," he defended, Nia chuckling at his pout.

"They say that when the snow melts so do the memories that came with it," she recited the lyrics, "But how I wish what memories I made with you would never subside? Aren't they a tad bit cringe?" she criticized, something she could have never fathomed she'd be able to do.

"I mean- anything in the name of confessing my feelings," he mumbled.

"What?"

"I said, anything in the name of confessing my feelings-"

"I heard you the first time Joon, but I am talking about- who? Who would you have to confess to and why are you telling me? Need advice? Or are you telling me because I was once a BTS fan?" Nia asked confused.

Namjoon blushed, "Santa Claus. My little Santa," he muttered to himself.

Nia didn't hear a word, a phone call interrupting their conversation. As soon as she had hung up, she began packing her keys and phone into her purse before sliding off her chair.

"I have to go," she rushed.

"Where to?" Namjoona asked sorrowfully.

"My fiance's parents are coming from abroad. They plan to stay and help us pack. I will be going back to the states soon for my wedding," she stated bashfully.

Namjoon finally realized that the ring on her hand was not a simple decoration, his feeling which had been in turmoil finally seizing. She was engaged, she seemed happy, and while he had never felt so much pain flood his chest, he simply sighed to himself and stood up.

"Lucky guy. I hope you have a happy life," he said with sincerity.

"Thank you. I guess this is where we part ways," she replied, bowing slightly.

Namjoon stared at her with every step she took away from him. He knew there wasn't much else he could do but watch her leave. He had loved her like he had loved no one else, and while he could have attempted to convey his feeling to her, while he could have tried to stop her or even attempt to persuade her into giving him a chance, he knew better than to get in between her and her happiness. He hadn't seen her be as joyful as she was now. She was genuinely happy, her stride confident and unwavering. Maybe in another world, in another timeline, maybe in another life they would have needed up together, but all he could do now is smile and use the experience as a lesson.

He followed close behind her, hoping to see her get lost in the street before he left for the dorms, but just as he did so, the high-pitch squeal of young women made him turn around. From inside the cafe, a group of fans had gathered, many young women and men taking out their phones while making a mad dash toward Namjoon's direction.

The sudden feeling of warmth embraced Namjoon's hand, Namjoon turned to see Nia holding onto him, her strong pull pushing him forward. The both of them began to run, her hair flowing in the cool air, Namjoon simply taking in the scene in slow motion. Her scent was comforting, her hand reassuring with a small squeeze she gave as the both of them turned into an ally-way. He could still hear the sharp steps of a mob behind them. It was exhilarating and his heart couldn't help but beat faster. He liked this about her, her sheer willpower.

A large smile on her face appeared before she yelled for him to keep on running. She had let go as soon as they had made it close to his van, the wave of fans turning the same corner they had.

"I've got this. Now, run for it Mr. Snowman!" she yelled.

Her body was soon lost in the crowd of fans, Namjoon entered the van, his heart beating quickly.

He would miss her. He would miss what they had.

He would miss his Santa Claus.

◈◈◈◈◈

🐨This is one of the endings of this book. While short, I hope it will be satisfying. I do hope to conclude this book soon so I'm sorry it seems so abrupt. U.U thank you for everything so far.