Pumasok na ako sa school to see our exam's result and tama nga ako sa gut feel ko, I actually aced it all. I am with Anne now at pabalik na kami sa classroom.

Nakita ko ang pagtigil ng bus sa field at iniluwa no'n ay ang mga varsity players na nagtatawanan. Agad kong nakita si Jhunel. Tumatakbo siya papunta sa dako namin ni Anne.

"Sheen May! We won!" Bati niya na nagpangiti sa akin. I almost forgot that they came from the league. I was so busy recovering myself that I forgot my promise to him that we'd watch their game.

Nakakatuwa na nakakamit niya na ang pangarap niya. At ngayon, posible na rin siyang makatungtong sa PBA dahil magandang credentials 'to sa resume. Malay natin, makapasok nga siya roon.

Anyway, ang swerte nila kasi exempted sila sa exam lahat dahil lang sa laro. Di naman ako naiinggit kasi hindi naman ako marunong magbasketball.

"Congratulations!" Sabay naming bati sa kaniya ni Anne sa kaniya. "We're glad that our university won!"

Pero nawala ang ngiti niya. "Yeah, pero nakakalungkot lang dahil hindi niyo man lang kami pinanood. You promised to watch our game, didn't you?" Nagtatampo niyang sabi. Napatingin naman si Anne sa akin na para bang humihingi ng permisong ibalita kay Jhunel ang nangyari sa akin. Umiling ako.

"I'm sorry. We get so busy because of our final exams," sambit ko.

He nodded as his lips curled. "Biro lang. Syempre, naiintindihan ko 'yon." Ngumiti siya. Agad na may tumunog sa phone niya kung kaya't tiningnan niya iyon. Naglaho ang mga ngiti sa labi niya bago siya napatingin sa akin. I saw how his forehead wrinkled in madness.

"Sheen May, what happened? Is this real?"

Mukhang alam ko na ang tinutukoy niya. Walang makakatakas na article sa kaniya. Of course, it'll be on the news. My miserable life.

Napatingin ako kay Anne. She doesn't know what to say too.

"Is your baby dead?" I saw how he clenched his fist. "What happened? Did Jhon Rey stressed you out? What happened?" He shouted. Hatred quickly replaced the smile that had been on his face earlier when he was bragging about their accomplishments in front of us.

He immediately entered our classroom. Anne and I followed him. And there, we saw how he was firmly gripping the collar of Jhon Rey's uniform.

Maging ang mga kaklase ko ay nagulat sa kanilang nasaksihan.

"What did you do? Fuck! Tell me! What did you do to her?"

My eyes get clouded by tears.

My heart shatters.

"I'm sorry," rinig kong sambit ni Jhon Rey which made my heart tear apart. "It was my fault. I'm sorry, hindi ko siya naalagaang mabuti."

"Fuck you, Jhon Rey! Kung hindi mo pala siya maaalagang mabuti bakit mo pa siya kinuha sa akin?"

I bit my lip. This is not what I came for. This is not the scene I wanted to see.

"Our marriage was fake so if you want to marry her, and give what she truly deserves, you can marry her. I am not deserving of her love. Not even a bit."

Nakita ko kung paano napaupo sa sahig si Jhunel. They were both crying and it was because of me. Kung iba siguro akong babae ay matutuwa ako dahil may mga lalaking umiiyak para sa 'kin but I hate this sight. I hate seeing people hurt by me.

Tila ba ang pagpapalakas ko ng ilang linggo ay nawalan ng silbi. Lalo akong nanghina dahil sa narinig ko. I was planning to talk to him about how he really feels about me, but now he's giving me up.

"Please, marry her and give her the happiness I can't give."

He left the room without saying anything.

Ni hindi man lang siya tumingin sa akin.

Does he mean what he says?

I thought he loved me.

Bakit hahayaan niya akong magpakasal sa iba?

I was just waiting for the right time to approach him but there he is, cutting the line I was trying to reconnect once more. It was so wrong na nalaman ko pa ang sinabi ni Rod. I shouldn't have heard any of it para hindi ako makaramdam ng guilt lalo na sa mga huling sinabi ko sa kaniya.

Napakadaya niya.

Bakit ako lang ang miserable sa aming dalawa?

And that was the last time I saw him.

That day, Anne brought me to a place where I could cry in private without anyone seeing me.

Everything that he said struck a chord deep within my being. It throws off my entire system. I was really hoping he'd make things possible for us after I learned everything about him from Rod, but maybe because of what I said last time about being scared of him, he went further away from me. It was my fault, after all.

Days passed, and Jhon Rey did not attend the remaining class anymore. I don't know if he's planning to graduate, or maybe not, because he's nowhere to be found. Anne was there to help me cope with the situation. Kahit na pinapakita kong malakas ako alam niya kung ano ako sa ilalim ng mapagkunwaring mga ngiti.

"Are you going home now?" tanong ni Jhunel. He was always trying to comfort me when Anne was busy. They were like my caregivers, who have shifting schedules.

Tumango ako at ngumit.

"You want me to bring you home?"

Umiling ako. "No, may pupuntahan pa ako. See you tomorrow then!" I immediately ran away from him. I don't want to bother someone else because of my miserable life.

Going back to what I am planning to do right now. Nabalitaan ko kay Derrick na wala nang nakatira sa bahay namin ni Jhon Rey simula nang malaman ko ang tungkol sa kasal namin so I decided to go there, to fix my things and brought it to our house.

Tears left my eyes nang makababa ako sa taxi. I was looking at the house once gave by Jhon Rey's parents for our wedding. Maraming nangyari sa bahay na ito at ang lahat ng iyon ay pawang alaala na lang.

Binuksan ko ang pinto.

At bumungad sa akin ang katahimikan. Walang pinagbago simula nang umalis ako rito. Kahit ang bakas ng dugo sa sahig ay naroon pa rin.

Nagsimula na naman akong umiyak. Malakas. Hindi ko na pinipigilan dahil alam kong wala namang makakarinig sa akin.

Bawat sulok ng bahay na ito ay nagdudulot ng pait sa puso ko.

Naglakas ako sa loob ng kwarto. Naroon pa ang iilang mga damit at gamit naming dalawa. Ang kamang pinagsaluhan namin ng maraming gabi.

Napaupo ako roon.

Wala na.

Wala na talagang pag-asa.

Kahit anong gawin ko o pilit ko, hindi talaga kami para sa isa't isa ni Jhon Rey. Ang Mr. Right ko, ends up Mr. Wrong pala.

He's the wrong guy for me.

Maybe I was really meant to be alone.

Dahil lahat na lang ng nagiging karelasyon ko, ended up being worst. Lahat nasisira. Lahat nagdudulot ng sakit.

But I never thought, this time it would hurt big time para mapasuko ako sa pag-ibig. Hindi ko alam kung kaya ko pang magmahal muli.

Sinimulan ko nang mag-ayos ng gamit. Nilagay ko sa isa pang maletang naroon sa cabinet ang mga natitira ko pang damit.

Napaupo ako sa kama nang matapos ko ang pagliligpit ng mga gamit ko na para bang inililigpit ko na rin ang mga natitira kong nararamdaman para kay Jhon Rey. 

I guess this is really it.

My closure.

My last goodbye to someone I really love.

There is no chance that we will be together again.

Now that he's pushing me away to someone else.

Napapikit ako at hindi ko namalayang kinuha na pala ako ng antok.

I was distracted when I heard a crash. I leaped to my feet and exited the room as soon as I could. I was very surprised when I saw Jhon Rey lying in the doorway.

"J-Jhon rey?"

Nilapitan ko siya pero hindi siya sumasagot.

Sinubukan ko siyang itayo pero napaupo siyang muli.

"T-teka!"

Pinasandal ko siya sa pader. Napasinghap ako nang makita ko ang itsura niya. Puro pasa ang mukha niya. His lips were cracked and bruised. May namumuo ring dugo sa gilid ng kilay niya. At mukhang lasing pa siya.

Gusto kong mainis sa kaniya dahil sa kalagayan niya pero mas nangingibabaw ang awa ko sa kaniya.

"J-jhon rey, a-anong nangyari? S-sinong gumawa nito sa 'yo?"

Mahina kong tinapik ang mukha niya para magising siya. Napapainda naman siya dahil sa sakit.

"Jhon Rey..."

Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at unti-unting iminulat ang mga mata. Nagtagpo ang mga mata namin at sa sandaling iyon, nakuha niya na naman ako.

He smiled in spite of the fact that his face was bleeding now.

"Hi," he greeted. Tears stream down my cheeks.

Tumango ako. "Hi."