“What is it?” I ask Brandon who is on the seat across me, watching me as if his life depends on my next movements. My eyes don’t leave the screen of my laptop resting atop the desk, I scowl without looking in his direction. “Brandon?”

The email with the invitation for my zoom meeting with other student body leaders stares back at me, the time on the lower part of my screen shows I have a few minutes until ten when we will commence but I don’t want to spend another second talking to him. I am not the one who broke a promise to their spouse. He did this to himself.

Sunlight seeps in through the long, sliding windows, casting a shadow on the table. I take a bite from the leftover slices of pizza on the table, pizza he brought home last night but I couldn’t eat because I was fast asleep. Asleep and hungry because I refused to prepare dinner, thinking we would go on our first date at a fancy, outdoor restaurant.

“You haven’t given me my morning kiss,” he whispers with his elbows propped on the oaken table. His nipples peep from his tank top, I frown when his lips pucker. “My kiss.”

Different books lay across the library floor, a mess I made when searching for a text in the business section, my eyes scan the content on the table and I chuckle. We are doing everything against the rules: eating, drinking and talking. I take a sip from the bottle of pop, the flavour tickles my taste buds, I swallow and tap on my screen. I had hoped to get away from him, didn’t think he would find me here since he was out cold.

The mini gown I planned to wear still sits in the wardrobe, I had imagined pairing it with my favourite stilettos, letting my hair down for his sake and what did I get in return? An unexplained absence. I stayed up until twelve, he didn’t call, neither did he reply any of my later texts or return the missed calls. I am not letting it slide.

“El.”

“You came late and you didn’t call,” I spare him a glance, “I’m not happy with you.”

His lips part open and close like he wants to defend himself but changed his mind. He pouts, rises from his seat to come stand behind me. My chest deflates as he begins to massage my shoulders, a sigh escapes my lips as the knots in my joints begin to loosen.

“Forgive me?” My head tilts to the side, even if he doesn’t ask, I will but he doesn’t have to know that yet. He has to earn my forgiveness. “I’ll make it up to you today.”

Uncertainty rears its head, those were also his words yesterday and his promise went up in flames once he left the house. I can’t afford to have my hopes dashed again, nothing goes right whenever he makes a promise. Besides, I have a virtual meeting to attend.

“How?”

His hands stop their ministrations, I groan, he chuckles and resumes the massage. “Have you been to a club?”

The question causes me to laugh, left to me, I wouldn’t have been anywhere but thanks to Clarissa, I have been to a club, a strip club infact. But I don’t mention that to him.

“Yes.”

“I want to take you to mine.” He must have sensed the tensing of my muscles because he adds, “Yeah, I own one.”

His fingers lower to the swell of my breasts, I forget what I am about to ask. When he squeezes one of my mounds, my thoughts assault me and I say, “When are we going?”

One of my buttons comes undone under Brandon’s expert fingers, I shake my head, try to stand but he pushes me back down to continue his massage and my head falls back.

“No,” I whisper in protest as his hand snakes inside my button-up shirt to caress my breasts. Swatting his hand, I manage to free myself from his seductive fingers and stand but he’s quick to spin me around to face him. I scowl and waggle a finger at him. “Stop.”

“My good morning kiss,” he murmurs as he kicks the chair between us out of his way. His breath fans my face, my teeth sink into my lip and I moan. “You owe me a kiss.”

Tapping my finger to my pouted lips, I pretend to think about it. “No,” I say while shaking my head, “I don’t. Next time, don’t come late and if you will, let me know.”

Brandon’s eyes centre on my lips, I gulp and my tongue darts out to wet my lower lip. I try to take a step back but the table stops me. He bridges the almost inexistent gap between us, my breath catches in my throat as he lifts me to the edge of the table.

“My laptop.”

“It’s safe,” he replies.

My back connects with the table, he comes to stand between my legs and folds one of them at the knee. His fingers trail up my inner thighs, he bunches the mini skirt at my waist, leaving my thighs on display. I turn my face away from him, knowing how much I want this and how much of a moaning mess I will be turned to if I give him the chance.

Leaning across me, his breath fans my face when he makes to free my hair from the loose bun and I shake my head. “I have a meeting.”

“When?”

“In ten minutes.”

“That’s enough time,” he replies but makes no move to touch my hair again.

The second button of my shirt comes undone, I let out a content sigh when he trails a line between my chest. He flashes me a grin, buries his face between my breasts and my teeth sink into my lower lip as my fingers weave through his hair.

A gasp escapes me when his fingers move closer to my entrance, causing delicious friction between my legs by rubbing my vagina through my panties. I arch my back, he forces me back to the table when I make to sit up and I groan, I hate this no sex policy we have been practising, even if it has only been one day, I want him.

“Touch me,” I command. He smirks, his finger pushes past my underwear to slide into my wetness and my head falls to the side. Between moans, I manage to whisper, “Yes.”

The curling of his fingers inside me has my fingernails digging into the table, moans slip past my lips, I buck as his thrusts become more frequent. His eyes fixate on mine as my moans grow louder, emotions dance across his feature as we stay captivated by each other’s gaze and my heart squeezes when he brushes stray hairs from my forehead.

He flashes me a small smile when I jerk forward and the slight furrowing of his brows in concentration as his fingers continue to push me over the edge of pleasure has my feelings crashing over me. Tears well in my eyes, I look away when he withdraws to suck my essence off his fingers then pulls me up to wrap his arms around my waist.

“Was I too fast? Too rough?” he queries. His hand moves up and down my back, I sniff and cry into his chest. “Did I do something wrong?” I wound my hands tight around his waist, refusing to look at him even with the plea in his voice. My heart swells with my untold feelings, I am not sure I can hold it in anymore. “Talk to me, El. What did I do?”

After managing to pry my hands off his waist, his knuckles swipe at the tears flowing freely to my cheeks. I blink, tears blur my vision as I prepare to confess my feelings.

“I love you,” I tell him and I don’t miss how rigid he goes for a moment. My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach, that is what I don’t want. I want him to be at peace with himself, the same way I feel now that I am about to tell him how much he means to me.

Cupping his face, my thumbs caress his cheeks and I continue, “I am not telling you so you say it back, I just wanted you to know. I love you.” He releases a shaky breath, his hand slides to the small of my back and I push myself up to peck his lips. “I love you with your flaws and perfections,” I sniff, “I love all of you and I am tired of hiding that truth.”

The invisible weight on my shoulders disappears at my teary confession, I stare at him through tear-filled eyes, afraid to hear his reply. I am fine with him not reciprocating my feelings right now but I can’t deal with his outright rejection. His palm relocates to the back of my head, I sigh in relief when my cheek presses flush against his hairy chest.

My heart feels less heavy, I feel safe in his embrace when he weaves his finger into my scalp to massage it and the warm feeling spreading throughout my chest assures me I did the right thing by telling him. He loves me too and if he doesn’t, I can show him how.

We separate at the beeping sound coming from my laptop, Brandon’s hands lingering on my waist stops me from jumping off the table. The conflicted emotions on his face has me palming his cheeks, I place a kiss on his forehead which soon slides to the tip of his nose and eventually, his pouted lips. I don’t know when it happened but I have fallen for this man.

“You don’t have to say it back,” I assure him. “I promise, I am fine with that.” He lets out a sigh and my fingers move to the band of his trousers. “You care about me, right?” His positive response comes immediately and I smile. “That’s good enough, for now,” I sniff, “I’ll love you and me enough on behalf of both of us until you are ready, is that okay?”

He smashes his lips against mine, his voice is muffled when he says, “You are too good for me.” Leaning with his hands on each side of me, he sighs. “I don’t deserve you.”

A rejoinder is ready on the tip of my tongue, I half-expected him to say something along those lines so I shake my head. “You deserve all the best things in this life,” I tell him. He frowns but my fingers are quick to press on the corners of his lips until he manages to smile, I giggle and bop his nose when I add, “And that includes me. You deserve me.”

The beep interrupts his reply, he groans and I pout. “I have to get to my meeting now.”

Helping me to my feet, I sigh when he buttons my shirt, smoothens my skirt and pecks the back of my hand like he did at our wedding. “I’ll be in the corner if you need me.”

True to his words, he sits on the single sofa beside the fireplace, head bent over his phone as his fingers move rapidly over the screen. When I inform him I will be taking a short break, he excuses himself to get me a bowl of ice-cream and a slice of vanilla cake. I fold my arms across my chest, eyebrows raised as he avoids my gaze, a part of me loves this new development but I don’t want his actions to be motivated by guilt.

“What’s happening?”

“I didn’t get my morning kiss, this is a bribe.” He blinks, juts his lower lip and I chuckle. My eyes wander to his nipples peeking out of his grey tank top tucked into his joggers, I swallow. “The meeting went on for too long and I got carried away. Next time, I’ll inform you of any delay.” I nod, forcing my eyes to his face. “Can I get my kiss now?”

“It’s noon already, it’s too late.”

“That means I’ll get two, morning and afternoon.” He brings his pouted lips closer to my face, I peck him on both cheeks and smile when his eyes widen. “That’s not a kiss.”

Amusement dances in my eyes when he pushes the saucer holding the cake far from my reach, I bring my laptop to my front and pretend to be busy until he lifts me off the chair to his laps. My arm goes around his neck, our noses rub against each other and my lips melt onto his. We kiss slowly like new lovers who have all the time in the world, nibble on each other’s lips then stare into one another’s eyes like it’s our first time together.

Warmth spread throughout my chest, I bring his hand to my breast, above my thumping heart and he beams. Taking my hand, he repeats the gesture on his chest and a shy smile flits to my lips. We sit in silence until my eyes wander to the melting ice-cream, I drag it to my front, take a bite from the cake first and complement it with a scoop of ice-cream.

“Why didn’t you go to work today?” I ask.

“I don’t take sugar,” he says when I hold a spoon of ice-cream to his lips. I nod, my hand doesn’t lower and he sighs before his mouth closes over the spoon. “Today is for you.”

The statement warms my heart but experience has taught me to reduce my excitement, I shift in his laps. “What if something comes up? Like it did yesterday.”

“My PA will take care of it.”

Pecking him on the lips, I giggle when he protests and demands another kiss. “You are feeding me so much junk.” His eyebrow raises, I go on to explain, “Ma likes to call,” my eyes scan the sugary snacks on the table, “them junks, a nicer word for rubbish. She believed if she did that long enough, it would get me to reduce my sugar intake.”

Brandon laughs out loud, the sound tickles my ears and my fingers squeeze his tiny nipples. “How did that work out with her?” he beams, “you still like junk.”

I start a slow, sensual dance on his laps, wiggling my butt on his crotch. “It didn’t work, it was never supposed to,” I murmur, “I still love my junk.” My voice reduces to a sultry whisper, I palm his growing erection and squeeze gently, “Especially this one.”

“El.” His voice holds a warning.

The table blurs as tears line my vision. “I didn’t agree,” I cry out and hit his chest until he calls me to order, “you made that decision on your own. I didn’t agree, I don’t want.”

“It’s for your good,” he counters and I shake my head.

Today is our second day without sex, I want to touch him. I pull away from his laps to sit on the chair closest to him and unbutton my shirt to reveal my breasts. My fingers skim my nipples, I sink my teeth into my lips to avoid wincing and say, “It doesn’t hurt again.”

Brandon takes that as his cue to confirm, his fingers rub my nipples, too hard for comfort and I whimper. He arches a brow, I sigh. “Okay, maybe it hurts only a little.”

“Tomorrow,” he says in a firm voice.

My hands still on the buttons of my shirt. “You will let me touch you, promise?”

Tapping on his laps, he motions for me to return to my former position and I refuse. “I promise.” He taps his legs furiously for me to take back my place but I shake my head, break time is over. “El.”

Silence reigns as I resume my meeting, he returns to the sofa after cleaning up my mess. I don’t care to remind him about other things he should probably be doing, instead, I sigh and bask in his presence. The meeting goes on for a few more minutes which soon turn to hours and a sigh of gratitude escapes my lips when we bid each other farewell.

“Brandon?” I call out to the motionless figure on the sofa. His head is tilted at an unusual angle that has me feeling bad for the neck kinks he will suffer once he wakes. “Baby?”

On tiptoes, I saunter to where he is and my lips curl into a smile at the book on his laps. I peck his lips, glad to be married to a man who will do great things and change the world. Brandon stirs, his eyes part open and I am blessed with a vision of his beautiful eyes.

I lower myself to sit between his legs with my chin propped on his knee. He smiles, my heart gallops and I reciprocate with a shy smile. “I’m done.” He doesn’t protest when I remove the book from his laps to peek at the title. “What did you learn?”

Sighs of content slip from me when his hands massage my shoulders, my eyes partially close and I nod sleepily. His thumb trails my lower lip, I gulp and lift my gaze to his face.

“Inventions are hard work,” he mutters. “How was your meeting?”

“It was boring.” The back of his hand moves to his mouth to stop a yawn, he nods and I switch to a kneeling position. My fingers weave through his beards, coming down to his nipples which I squeeze to elicit a chuckle from him. “You can do it, I believe in you.”

“You have too much faith-”

My finger pressed against his lips stops him from undermining himself. “You can do it.”