Hello everyone!!
Here our trainer saying Hiii!!
Dedicated to Anslet Astha..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR 🎂
HAVE A HEALTHY AND HAPPY LIFE AHEAD...

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The week that followed was the most difficult to deal with. After all, i had distanced myself from very people with whom i enjoyed spending time and shared so much of my life.

Through my body language, i had made evident to Arjun that i was only going to focus on my work-out. The poor guy noticed my changed behavior but coped with it..He twice reached out to me, asking me if i was all right. I responded by saying that some family issues had left me bothered. I didn't reveal to him what they were. I pulled myself away from him. He didn't push me hard to tell him either. I started miss him badly. He was the only solace of mine in this mortal world..But i knew that i had to do this..I couldn't make our lives more complicated just to complete my wish..just to have him in my life..That to be with him..we can't be together. We were terms apart..Two different worlds..And this thing killing me deep inside..

Sam and I didn't talk at all. it was difficult situation to bump into her in the gym and yet not talk. To avoid this uncomfortable situation, i rescheduled my session by two hours one day. The next day when i did not see her, i checked at the reception. I felt vaguely empty with her absence.

How had we arrived at this point!!

Later that day when i fainted in my room due to my agony. Sam came to visit me..And she asked me what troubling me ?? what happened to Arjun and me??

But i didn't answered her..I had fear that if she would thought that i am bad girl who was falling for her trainer being engaged to another guy..Like other people she too would think that i am unfaithful..And at some point my mind started to accuse her that she pushed me towards Arjun by telling me that he likes me..

How funny was it na!! We human always finds our way to defend ourselves by putting blame on others..Thats what my mind was doing...making Sam responsible..How absurd it was!!

I know it but still I was listening to my mind..

Arggghhhh!!! My mind was making me confused, irritated and frustrated with myself..and with my loved ones.

When i joined gym again after my recovery, she had waved at me from a distance..My response didn't match hers. Not even lifting my hand, i had just smile. And then the rest of the session, i kept avoiding eye contact . On two occasions when i saw her approaching me, i first faked a call on my cellphone and stepped out of the floor and the second time increased the speed of my treadmill. she got the hint.

Now, right this moment, siting in stream room alone made me think about all i was going through. Why?? Oh God, why this is happening to me??

Like the stream which blocked the light coming from the yellow bulb, destiny blocked happiness in my life..the very light of my life..MY Arjun..Hurting and avoiding him making me feel like thousands of glass pieces piercing my heart and chocking me to the death.

Someone pulled the door and stepped inside the stream room. I had guessed it right. It was Sam.

She sat opposite me. i had this feeling that she would initiate the a conversation, or at least attempt one..i wished one of us had not been here.

"What's wrong with you??" Sam finally asked when i didn't look at her even in the stream room.the stream in the room wasn't that dense and we could partially see each other.

I was in two minds.. One to fake it and avoid the conversation and to be honest and confessed to her about my feelings and get it out of my system. Some made me go for the conversation. i guess , i was already exhausted trying to avoid the conversation.

" How could you..." i began calm and composed and then paused for a moment. I didn't look at Sam. My eyes were glued to the wet floor beneath my feet.

The beginnings of this confrontation had made me anxious. It has always been difficult for me to deal with the people who are close to me...But why I was confronting her at first place..She wasn't at fault..

Luckily the warm steam helped me in overcoming the chilling the anxiety building up within me.

"...That night....I had......nightmare....Arjun...." I stammered while speaking ...My heart skipped several beats..

Sam continued to look at me. I didn't look at her but only sensed this.

" What nightmare Radz?/" She said and from that I could figure out that she was worried for me..

God!!! Why it was so difficult for me to utter a word..why I was so scared of her perspective about my feelings..she is my best friend and she would defiantly understand me but don't know what within me holding me back.

I didn't want to talk anymore..i guess I wasn't ready yet to share this with her.. therefore I stoop up. I re-arranged my towel and moved towards the door leaving bewilder Sam back.

Just then Sam spoke from behind me..

" Don't hold back Radz..its just the clash between your mind and heart...nothing else...open up to me!!"

I had already pushed the door a little but her words stopped me short of stepping out. I held on the door handle wondering if I should turn around..

" I will...." I said

" You will feel light Radz..don't let that clash burn you..." she said softly

" But it won't change anything in my world..."

" It will.."

" How?"

" Perhaps in your perspective the glass is half empty but in mine it is half full" she said like she could read what going on my mind..What whirlpool of emotions roaring inside my hearts...

" I'm sorry , Sam...I am not good at playing words..Really I am not.. And I don't intend to carry on this conversation..I guess I am not ready yet..Please...I am sorry...."

I stepped out and realesed the door I had been holding , leaving Sam alone inside the stream amidst the web of her worries for me.

The irony of my reaction shocked me. I was angry on my best friend for nothing when I was unable to deal with my growing feelings for Arjun..

When I tried to avoid her, I began to miss her. I missed talking to her, sharing things about my life with her and getting to know what was happening in her life. I missed her company. She used to take genuine interest in me..when I realized this, I felt a sudden urge to call her..but then something held me back.

It wasn't ego..it was not about who would initiate the talk..Ofcourse I was the one who had made the choice of walking out of the conversation..And I should have been the one to begun..

She invited me for her award ceremony..she won the " Best Businesswomen of the year " Award..It was one proud moment.. But I didn't went..

I made up for my loss by watching Award function on TV.

On the TV she was old Sam, lively and confident.

She spoke on woman empowerment and giving women a chance to prove their abilities..

I couldn't able to hold myself but to send her message..I was proud of her and told my family member

" Hey you carried the whole ceremony so well..Congratualtuons!!" I texted her

She came online immediately

" You thinks so!!" she didn't made me feel odd

I could feel that she too had been missing me

" Indeed..You were stunning...That speech was outstanding.." I replied what I genuinely felt

" I'm glad to know that...how you been ?"

" Listen..i am sorry..i reacted badly..i shouldn't have.."

" You can Radz..You are the one person, on whom I never get angry or upset..I just missed you.."

" Me too..."

" You want to come home?" she asked

" sure" I was excited to meet my best friend..

" Good"

We fixed our timing..As I lay back at that night, I thought about how I had not felt this much light in my life..

It's never a good idea to fight with best friends..

**

The next evening I arrived at Sam's apartment. It was her weekly off. And Neil too went to Spain for some business trip.

Standing on the twentieth floor of the gigantic apartment building she lived in, I rang the door bell.

I could hear some sort of the music playing behind the door. It appeared to be indian classical, based on the instruments...

The entrance of the flat itself was beautifully decorated with plants. There were a few clay animals placed decoratively on the floor and hung from the walls which together with the soft lighting gave a very cosy appearance to the entrance apartment...

This is my first time coming to Sam's new apartment.

Soon I heard the sound of door unlocking..As soon as Sam opened the door, the sound of music in the background shot up..It was a ghazal. I discovered.

Sam stood at the door with broad smile. I smiled back..it felt good to see her and to be with her.

" so you come!!" she said looking at me.. Her twinkling eyes reflected a sense satisfaction. She wore a tank top with pair of pyajamas

" I did " I said laughing lightly. She gave me a slight hug which actually felt warm , given that it came after a cold void week.

" come in" she said and led me in.

The house was barely, illuminated!! The volume of the Ghazal filled her entire apartment..As we entered in living room, I noticed that the wall on my right had a number of big and small photographs on it. Above the photos was a string of soft fairly lights that illuminated the faces in those photograph.. they were the only source of lights..i stopped and looked at those picture because they spoke thousands memories..Our Childhood pics, college pic and her wedding pic..in one pic ,Neil proposing her and she was blushing like a teenager.They are so happy couple..Very happy in love with each other..i felt more deprived of love..

" Come Na..." Sam's voice intervened my thoughts..

" you have decorated your house very tastefully" I said

" Thank you... hope you are not finding it so dark as you think I am saving electicity bill..."

" Not at all.." I laughed

" some of my guest think like that way..but I like this way.." she chuckled.

I looked around " Of course it is different...but I like it...it so quiet and peaceful..."

The part of the drawing room where we stood was decked with magnificent wooden furniture like we got to see snapshots of designed luxirious furniture in weekend newspaper supplement.

Everything around me was in harmony. I instantly fell in love with Sam's living room.

Sam pointed to the other side of the room, where I spotted the large mattress on the floor along with lit candles.

" lets sit there.." she said and walked ahead of me..

As I approached the other side of living room area I realized that wall in front of me was actually a huge sliding glass door. It looked into the beautiful sunset behind the chain of hills..it was enchanting..the place is so charming.

"this is...so......beautifullllllllll" I exclaimed as I peeped through the glass wall.i could see the faint outline of hills.

There was no building in front of it. No road. No humans..no civilazation..its just you and the sky..

" So its like an open private area..."

" yess...itsn't that wonderful?"

And I suddenly smelled lavender. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. " lavender ?/"

Sam pointed to scented candles that she placed just below the glass wall...Sam settled on mattress with soft cushions around us..

"Come..sit" she said

I was in awe of Sam's place. She created this place for herself that she liked to live in..without anyones influence or thoughts. I couldn't imagine doing that—there are many dominating people around me..

When I got seated on the mattress, the ghazal track changed ..and I couldn't help but to exclaimed " Ghulam ali.."

She nodded

" What will you have?/" Sam got abruptly and asked..

Before I could answer , she said raising two bottles " wine or champagne ?"she asked

" how about tea?" I stated as i don't drink.

" As always...okay I will make Ice tea...." She chuckled and went into the kitchen.

I began to hum the lyrics, and inhale the refreshing fragrance of the candles.

Sam returned with a tray having bowl of Nachos with mayo and two cups of ice tea

We toasted

" to your award!!" I said with happiness and pride

" to our patch up.."she said lightly

We took the sip

" why did you stop talking to me , Radz?"

Sam's direct question made me hold the sweet fluid in my mouth

That was the thing with her..no beating around the bush..I took my time and swallowed my drink, as well as her question

" because I was bothered by what happening in my life.." I said

She didn't utter a word but she was waiting me to be continue..I told her about that day..how miserable and vulnerable I was..How I felt..how I was reacting to the whole situation..i shared with her all that had transpired in my heart and in my mind with respect to Arjun and Saral..She heard me patiently. With every fact that I revealed to her, I felt lighter. And her place's calmness added more peace to my mind..

The ghazal track changed again..it was from one of the movie but I couldn't recall from which movie it was..

" Hey!!!" she just hugged me tight and wiped my tears..i felt so warm

" Just hear me out darling...I know that what you are saying...its not bad that you are expecting love and attention from Saral..Its not crime...Its your right...see...many relationships not brake due to social and other pressure..but what point in living in façade than to face it....Saral just can't treat you like bussiness praposal..He should work on your relationship.." She said

" In life, the most important thing is love. Love can be practiced by anyone. It never be a sin...Whatever amount of wealth you have or whatever luxirious services are residing at your feet, at the end of the day you wanted to be loved and cared by someone....So Its Natural for humans to follow Love..Don't curse yourself, Radhika.." Sam said rubbing my back softly..

" you know it's the problem with institution of marriage...Like you are just engaged now...you thinking it as Laxman Rekha...which one should not cross. It is the invisible wire, beyond it was forbidden.. And it is the very nature of the forbidden to appear sweet...Take your life in your control..don't make others to ride it as per their wish.....If you truly loves Arjun..Then Take a stand for it..fight for it Radhika..Byt Don't Give up.." she said

Just then my phone rang..it was from Saral. I excused myself to take my fience call.

One of NRI couple---his bussiness guest came his home..And he wanted me to meet them and give good company to the wife. And he insisted me to come his home soon as he took permission from my dad.

"I am at Sam's house.." I said

" you have the driver?" he asked

"yes "

"then come home..Mom can't take care of all this..." he said bit irrited

" oka in half an hour....thik hai...." I ended the call and looked at Sam..

" I have to leave..." I said

" What happened?" she asked and I told the reason..

" well..then leave in some time.." she suggested

" I wish I could.." I said regretfully..

" Do you really want to go right now?/" she asked

I shook my head

" then why did you say yes when you wanted to say No?"

" I don't know..." meSam gave me sympathetic smile..she didn't say anything to me.. she was sensetive enough and only nodded in silence.

She streched her arm and caressed my cheekwith her finger..i was glad that we had got back to what we were before...

Sam walked me to my car..

" I really enjoyed this evening with you Sam..." I said holding her hands..we hugged

" I will see you in the gym.." Sam said and waved

On the way back home..i kept thinking about all the Sam had talked about...

Do I need to take charge of my life?? Will I ever be able to do that?/

I certainly didn't have an answer.

Later that night, her one sentenced rand in my mind..

Its natural for humans to follow love..Don't curse yourself..

I slept well that night..

********
SO How's it????
Actually i am scared for your reviews as i don't know what i had typed.. I was in two mind.. Think a lot about these rasam convo.. Hope you guys liked it..

Guys please check my other story.. One shot.
First love letter by him..

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XOXO