"Sheen May? What are you doing here?" Jhon Rey exclaimed when he saw me outside the door.

"Huh? Ah..." I couldn't speak for a moment because I wasn't expecting him to see me here. He might think that I'm a weird human being.

"Sinundan mo ba ako?" he accused.

"What? No way! I am just here to see Rod," pagtukoy ko kay Rod na ngayo'y kumakaway sa akin.

"My friend? Magkakilala kayo ng kaibigan ko?" tanong pa niya. Tumango lang ako. "How did that happen? And why do you want to see him?"

I frowned. "Nothing. I just want to check on him because his father told me he's not coming out of this office since he's busy reviewing for an exam."

"Wait, are you that close?" pasaring pa niya na ipinagtataka ko. "Hey, didn't I tell you to stop making friends with other guys?"

I stared at him. ""Luh, hindi pa nga tayo kasal kung utusan mo 'ko! Sino ka ba?" bawi kong sagot sa kaniya.

Finally, I regained my power to talk back to him. Hindi ko alam na lalakas ang loob ko dahil lang narinig ko ang mga sinabi niya kanina. I didn't know I would be encouraged because I heard their conversation.

I thought I was the one who needed him most, but it's the other way around. I guess, it's my day now to charge him for everything he did to me.

Pumasok ako sa loob at kinawayan si Rod. Sumunod naman sa akin si Jhon Rey.

"What are you talking about? Isn't that basic knowledge when you're getting married? You should stop clinging to other men."

"I don't know, hindi pa naman ako naikakasal kaya paano ko malalaman? At isa pa, hindi naman ako dumidikit para makipaglandian. Kaibigan ko si Rod. At saka, bakit ka ba parang kung umasta ka ay may karapatan ka na? Hindi pa naman ako umooo sa iyo," sambit ko nang makalingon akong muli sa kaniya.

I saw his jaw drop. He never saw it coming. I was pulling his nerves out of him. It's my time now!

Natawa si Rod sa sinabi ko. Minsan pala ang sarap maging mapang-asar lalo na kung si Jhon Rey naman ang inaasar ko. 'Yong expression ng mukha niya na hindi ko malaman kung naiinis ba o nagmamaktol sa pang-aasar ko sa kaniya.

"Then why are you wearing that ring?" he backfired.

I couldn't think of anything to rebut. Tsk. I should not have worn it if I was planning to irritate him. Such a wrong move, Sheen May!

"Maybe to show you how to take it off?"

I laughed when Rod supported me. So I have a backup competitor, and it was so funny. We were joining forces to defeat this tall jerk in front of us.

Natawa ako sa sinabi ni Rod. "Tama!"

I was about to take it off, nang hindi ko matanggal. What? Kanina lang nahubad ko 'to, ah pero bakit ngayon hindi ko mahubad?

"See? Ikaw na lang 'yung nagpapakipot, eh. Even your finger wants the ring," nakabawi naman sa pang-aasar si Jhon Rey sa akin kaya inirapan ko siya. Umangat pa ang gilid ng nguso ko dahil sa yamot.

"Tsk. I don't even like the design," I murmured.

"Oh really? Was that the reason you rejected my proposal?" His face became upset, and I felt guilty about that.Kinuha niya ang kamay ko at tinulungan akong magtanggal ng singsing mula sa daliri ko. "Let's get out of here. I'll buy you a new one. I'm sorry."

Napanganga ako sa sinabi niya. Kumunot ang noo ko at napatingin kay Rod. Nagkibit-balikat lang siya. Ano na naman ang nakain ng isang ito?

Hinila niya ako palabas ng office ni Rod at hindi na ako nakapagpaalam pa sa kaibigan niya.

"Hey, I told you to tone it down. May mga clients ako." Nagulat kami nang sawayin kami ni Doctor Patricio. Napansin niya naman ang kasama ko.

"Oh, Mr. Carpio, you're here. It was good to be able to see you here. I told your wife to accompany you the next time she visits, but you were not here when I checked on her earlier." Doctor Patricio put his arm on Jhon Rey's shoulder. "Come here, and let's have a brief talk." Jhon Rey just followed Doctor Patricio and went to the office where I was checked up earlier.

I noticed that Rod was now standing beside me, looking at the same man I had in mind.

"I heard what happened. It feels like I'm one of the reasons your life was put in danger again," Rod mumbled. I remember that day when Jhon Rey was angry with me because of the article that came out that he thought was my father's doing, until I discovered it was Rod's deed.

"I'm sorry if I had to do that. I was thinking about how the baby will end up not having a father," saad niya. "I don't know the feeling of having no mother, but maybe they will feel the same," he added.

I couldn't speak right away. So, he doesn't have a mom. Ngayon ko lang napansin.

"Thank you for your concern, Rod. Somehow, I understand why you did that. Hindi ko lang inakala," I responded. "Mabuti, hindi nagalit sa 'yo si Jhon Rey."

"He always listens to me like I'm his older brother. I remember the very first and last time he was angry with me. That's when he discovered I have feelings for my best friend, her long-time girlfriend." He chuckles.

"Oh, so she's your best friend." That could be the first reason he released that article about Jhon Rey and me—he was concerned about his best friend. I can see it now.

"Yup, but that was a long time ago. I wonder why Jhon Rey always brought it up. We were in high school when that happened."

Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ako. Maybe Jhon Rey was just into that girl, so up until now, he's been worried about his friend's feelings toward his girlfriend.

"But my main objective for making that malicious news is for him to realize what he has done and make things right. He is not the type of guy who cares about what people will say about him, but I ensured he has no escape from this."

I don't know why I became envious of Rod. Jhon Rey is so understanding towards him. He never cut him off, even if Rod did something terrible and destroyed his reputation. Somehow, I felt jealous of their friendship. Samantalang ako, palagi akong pinagbibintangan ni Jhon Rey, kahit wala naman akong intensyon na gawan siya ng masama. I want to be his friend, too, and be treated like he treats others.

Napabuntong-hininga ako. Ganoon siguro talaga ang trato niya sa akin dahil sobra ang galit niya. I hope that someday he can see me as a friend too. That will be enough.

"Are you marrying him?" Rod asked out of the blue.

Muli ay napabuntong-hininga ako. "Probably yes. Katulad niya, I don't have a choice either," I replied.

"It's not that you don't have a choice. You just don't want to take the risk."

Kumunot ang noo ko dahil parang narinig ko na 'yan kay Jhon Rey noon. Mukhang alam ko na kanino galing ang mga salitang 'yon, galing dito kay Rod.

"Because you know what the consequences of your decision will be," he added. "Kaya naiinisp mo na wala kang pagpipilian. Ayaw mong piliin ang isa kahit iyon ang tama, hindi mo mapili ang isa dahil bawal."

He's right.

We can choose not to get married, but many things depend on us, and that's why we need to do this. It's like we're in a game; we know we won't win, but we have to keep going.

"I just hope you don't choose to kill yourself again, Sheen May. You can't end your problems by escaping from them. You might think Jhon Rey is bad, but I knew him. Once he develops his trust in you, he will show you his right and good side."

Nakita naming lumabas na si Jhon Rey sa office ni Doctor Patricio. He was looking at me as he approached me.

"Let's go?" he asked me. I notice how he looks at me differently now. I wonder why.

"What do you mean?" tanong ko pabalik.

"I'll drive you home."

"Ah, no, thanks. I'm with Derrick. He'll be the one who'll drive me home," I responded.

"Katatawag ko lang sa kaniya. I told him that you'd go with me. He's probably on his way home now."

I was speechless.

"Paolo, we'll be going now. See you on our next visit," paalam ni Jhon Rey. Tinapik niya ang balikat ni Rod bago niya ako hinawakan ang kabilang braso ko para alalayan sa paglabas ng bahay.

I got into his car, and he was also in the driver's seat. I became curious about what Doctor Patricio told him because suddenly, his aura changed. I felt like he became soft-spoken this time, and my heart seemed aware of it. That's why it keeps getting crazier.

"Hey, wear your seatbelt," he commented.

"Oh, right. I'm sorry. I'm used to sitting in the back seat," I answered and took the seat belt, but I couldn't fasten it. I'm so stupid that I can't do such simple things as this.

"You're not doing it on purpose, are you?" He asked in a soft, calm voice that shivered my heart.

Lumapit siya sa akin para tulungan ako. Nahawakan niya ang kamay ko, kaya napatingin ako sa kaniya. He was just busy fixing my seatbelt.

He is this close.

I couldn't breathe.

How come, after all, I still see him the same way?

He glanced at me, and I couldn't look away for a moment. His eyes were speaking to me.

"It's okay now," he mumbled.

I nodded. "T-thank you."

Nagsimula na siyang magmaneho. Alam niya naman na siguro kung saan ang bahay namin tutal nakita ko na siyang nandoon nang makauwi ako galing sa hospital. Mananahimik na lang ako rito dahil hindi ko na kaya pang makipag-usap sa kaniya. Lalo lang bumibilis ang tibok ng puso ko kapag kausap siya.

Ibinaling ko na lang ang atensyon sa bintana. Gabi na at nakaka-relax ang tanawing nakikita ko sa gilid ng kalsada. It was the first time I strolled down the street. I was always in my room alone. I couldn't get any fresh air. I feel like I was a prisoner for years and never experienced traveling, even once.

Namangha ako nang makita ko ang isang peryahan. Maraming mga kabataang naglalaro doon, nagsisigawan habang nakasakay sa rides. May mga group of families din na masayang kumakain pero mas nakuha ang atensyon ko ng isang malaking ferris wheel.

"Do you want to go there?"

I was surprised when Jhon Rey asked me. Did he notice where I was looking at?

I shook my head and tried to stop my heart from beating faster. Ever since I met him, this heart of mine has never functioned well. It always takes my breath away.

"No, mas lalo kang gagabihin sa pag-uwi kapag pumunta pa tayo roon."

"Are you sure?" Tumango ako. Nalampasan na namin 'yong fair kaya bumalik na ang tingin ko sa harap.

It was already 7 p.m., and I forgot to inform my mom about this; maybe Derrick already informed them?

"I was just curious what it feels like to be on top and see the city from that perspective," dagdag ko pa.

"Why, you've never been there before?"

I shook my head shyly. "I actually tried a lot of things I never tried in my life since I was just focusing on my studies," I admitted.

"Then, let's go there."

I was surprised when he made a U-turn.

"Hey, wait!"

"Shush, we'll ride that Ferris wheel together. It'll be hard for you to get there once your tummy becomes big."

I don't know why I felt speechless when he said that.

My heart is becoming crazy again.

I can't help but smile a little.

So he's concerned about me now?