"Did you do it again?" Nagulat ako sa tanong niya kaya nasagot ko siya nang pabalang. "How can we do it again when I'm pregnant?"

She smirked, seeming surprised by what she had learned. "Don't tell me, you did not know? You can do that even when you're pregnant. It's safe. So, isang beses niyo lang ginawa? Kaya pala. I see now why you reacted like that. Ang lakas pala ng semilya ng isang Jhon Rey."

"How did you know that it was safe?" Napalunok ako. Hindi ko alam na manggagaling iyon sa bibig ko. Lumalabas tuloy, parang gusto ko ulit na may mangyari sa amin ni Jhon Rey. Bakit kasi kailangan niyang tanungin iyon? Saan ba siya dinadala ng utak niya?

"I happened to read something about it," she responded.

"Are you telling me you're looking up something about it?" I doubted.

"I'm not a child anymore. I don't have any experience, so I need to read to gain knowledge about it." She said that she was trying to convince me that she was not doing anything wrong and that it was just a normal thing to do to someone who was inexperienced.

I surrendered while I was giggling. "Fine! Fine! Fine!" I tapped out at the table.

The salad was served at our table. I suddenly thought of Jhon Rey when I started eating. We went to a salad restaurant last time, and I witnessed how healthy his life is because of that. I munched a lot, and it was really good. I enjoyed it so much.

"I've always wondered if it hurts when it enters you," she implored.

Napanganga ako. She's doing it in front of my salad? "Can you stop? I can't focus on my food."

"That's the challenge. Why? Bumabalik ba sa 'yo 'yong nangyari?" natatawa niyang tanong. The hell. Hindi ko alam na ganito kabulgar ang kaibigan ko.

"Yeah, honestly."

Natawa siya. "That's the purpose of this bachelorette's party."

"Tsk. Parang ini-interview mo lang ako, eh. I feel like I'm on a hot seat. Does it have something to do with our friendship?" I curled my lip.

"Of course! Your responses reveal how much trust you have in me." She winks. Gumagawa lang siya ng dahilan, eh.

"No, I can see how much you wanted to do it with Aaron," I answered, throwing her the shade.

"I do," she admitted. I close my eyes in disbelief. I thought she was going to deny it, but she's too honest, and I can't seem to handle that. I laughed. I never imagined how forward and aggressive she was, but my smile disappeared when I glanced at the doorway.

Jhon Rey?

Anne, too, cast her gaze in that direction and spotted Aaron. When I saw that she was hiding, I decided to do the same. I took a sneak peek and saw them head in the direction of the stairwell. They didn't even appear to notice us.

What the heck is going on here? They were with Rod and some other guys who were new to me.

Dito ba nila gagawin 'yung bachelor's party nila?

Lumakas ang kabog sa dibdib ko. Hindi ko alam bakit ako nagtago. Bakit nga ba?

Napatingin ako kay Anne na ngayo'y nanggagalaiti na sa galit.

"Hey why do you look like that?" I was bothered by how she was giving them death stares.

"They were with girls."

"Huh?"

Napatingin ako sa mga babaeng sumunod sa kanila.

"Naku, baka hindi naman nila 'yon kasama. Bar di ba 'yong baba so baka ibang group 'yon?"

Bumalik kami sa pagkakaupo.

"No, I can feel it. Malakas ang kutob ko na they invited girls to their party, kaya hindi niya sinabi kung saan sila pupunta."

"Can you try to calm down? Pati ako nahahawa sa 'yo. Let's just enjoy our night together and let them enjoy theirs."

I heard her sigh. It seems like she's not in the mood anymore, and there are a lot of things bothering her mind at the moment. I tried to calm her down, and fortunately, she listened, but I still noticed that she was still anxious by the way she repeatedly glanced at the side of the restaurant where the stairs to the bar were. I understand that, witnessing your boyfriend going to the bar, who wouldn't react like that?

Nasira tuloy 'yung mood namin. Bakit kasi dito rin nila napiling pumunta? What an epic situation.

Nag-focus na lang ako sa kinakain ko. Nagserve na rin ng main course. It was braised chicken legs with grapes and fennel. The meat was tender, and it melted in the mouth. Somehow, I felt my mood lift. It was a mood-changer.

I noticed Anne having the same reaction. It's a relief that she no longer exudes an angry vibe. She seemed to be getting ready to throw a fit a while ago.

"How can you stay calm?" she asked, looking at me amusedly.

"What do you mean?"

"Kahit alam mong nasa bar si Jhon Rey na posibleng makasalamuha sa ibang babae," she spilled.

"Alam ko kasi kung sinong mahal niya. It wasn't me, so kung magloloko siya sa baba, hindi naman ako ang niloloko niya," sagot ko.

"What the hell? Are you really that martyr?" She furrows.

I shrugged. "He can do what he wants. The more you control something, the more they'll be against you."

"Hindi ba't ang labas parang wala kang pakialam sa kaniya kung ganiyan ang gagawin mo? Aaron told me na kung hahayaan ko lang siyang gawin ang gusto niya, hindi niya ako mararamdaman," sambit niya. "It's normal to have reactions every once in a while, Sheen May. Always be honest about how you feel, and if it bothers you, let him know. The same as what had been discussed earlier by Professor Pasion. If they continue to do things that will hurt us despite the fact that they are aware that these actions would hurt us, then it is clear that they do not love us in the deepest sense."

I was rendered speechless. She does have a point, but I still can't seem to find the courage to be forthright about my feelings, even to myself. Even though she is correct, I still can't do anything about it.

Do I really want this marriage?
Do I want Jhon Rey to stay by my side?
Do I want him to stop thinking about his ex-girlfriend so that he can focus solely on me and love me?

But maybe if I become upfront about how I really feel, he might see me as weird, controlling, or toxic. Baka magbago ang pakikitungo niya sa akin. Okay naman na ako ngayon. Masaya ako kung paano niya ako tratuhin. Hindi naman na ako humihiling pa.

"Isn't that the woman who Jhon Rey used to date?" I looked in the direction that Anne was pointing, which was the doorway. I was taken aback when I saw Quency enter the restaurant with those four guys that Jhon Rey and I had met when we were shopping at a jewelry store. Naalala ko ang mga mukha nila. Si Jhon Rey ba ang ipinunta nila rito? Well, of course.

I watched her make her way down the stairs to the bar area. I experienced a dull ache in my chest. She was dressed in a silk bodycon dress, so you can see how sexy she is. Her back is exposed too. With a little make-up, she really presents her beauty flawlessly. For sure, Jhon Rey can never let his eyes off of her.

I made an effort to keep my thoughts under control. When Anne was dealing with anything like this earlier, I was the one who told her to take a deep breath and cool down. I should practice what I preach.

"You don't have to suppress your feelings. You can be honest with me, Sheen May. I told you that women's instincts are always true. We can confront them."

Ngumiti ako at umiling. "No, please no. If you're done eating, let's just pack up and head home." Ayoko nang mangyari pa ang gulong ginawa namin noon sa unit ni Jhon Rey. Ayoko nang makarinig pa ng masasakit na salita mula sa kaniya. Alam ko namang panalo ang babaeng iyon sa puso ni Jhon Rey kung ikukumpara sa akin.

"And then what? Kill yourself from having such thoughts? I am exactly aware of how you are feeling at this very moment, and I have a strong desire to go there and check it out. What is she doing here?" she snapped. "Are they sneaking around and doing something behind our backs?" she added. I observed the way that she held the knife in her hand. It appeared as though she was about to murder someone.

"Hey, nakalimutan mo na ba what we did last time? Baka magalit lang si Jhon Rey sa atin kapag sumugod na naman tayo at mapahiya siya."

Bumuntong-hininga siya. "Then what should we do? Lumilipas ang oras. Sigurado akong nagsasaya na sila roon!" she yelled. She looks so frustrated because she wants to do something, but I am not letting her do it.

"Hayaan na lang natin sila. I'm sure maipaliliwanag naman ni Aaron sa 'yo 'yong mga nangyari doon kaya umalis na lang tayo o kung gusto mo, lumipat na lang tayo. Hindi pa natin nakakain 'yong cake and desserts," I reminded her, pointing out the cake that hadn't been opened for a while.

"Alright, if the desserts don't make me feel good, I'll go down there," she admonished.

Nagulat ako nang kainin niya 'yong kalalapag lang na dessert. She sliced the tiramisu, and I laughed when she coughed. I suddenly gave her the water goblet, but she chose to drink the red wine without leaving a drop.

"See? This sweet was not to my liking at all. It is a sign from above that we should proceed downstairs."

My lungs exploded. Actually, there is nothing that can stop her anymore. She wiped her lips using the table napkin and grabbed the dinner knife from her plate.

"Hey, put it down," I commanded, checking if other guests noticed what she did. Thank God, she obeyed, but I'm genuinely anxious to find out what lies in there for us.

"Should we really need to go there? I mean, what we don't know won't hurt us," pigil ko sa kaniya. Ano na naman ba itong gulong papasukin namin?

"We'll just check."