"Can we talk, Sheen May?"

Jhunel was standing in front of me, and he clearly looked so devastated over the match. I felt sympathy. We both understand how crucial that game was to him. He lost it, though, and I feel the same sadness for him.

Pumayag akong makipag-usap sa kaniya.

"What do you want to talk about?" tanong ko.

"Just. I hope I can spend a few minutes with you because I'm feeling so depressed today."

Tumango ako. Naglalakad lang kami habang nag-uusap kahit hindi ko alam kung saan kami patungo. Gusto ko lang siyang damayan katulad ng ginawa niya sa akin noon. Kung kaya ko lang ding ibsan ang lungkot na nararamdaman niya, ginawa ko na. Alam ko ang pakiramdam na hindi umaayon sa 'yo ang lahat, na para bang pinaglalaruan ka ng tadhana at pinahihirapan.

He broke the silence by saying, "Didn't you ask me why I transferred here to your school?"

I was curious about that too. Totoo bang dahil sa akin kaya siya lumipat o may iba pang mas mahalagang dahilan?

"It was because of this. Sa university namin, walang ganitong privilege na kapag nanalo may chance na maglaro sa UAAP."

Napanganga ako. So that was the reason why he left his school because of this? Sa isang banda, nakahinga ako nang maluwag na hindi ako ang dahilan kung bakit siya narito dahil maging ako'y manghihinayang para sa kaniya.

"I thought I could win this game because I played on the varsity team at my former school, but I think there's still something missing in me," he assumed. "I was still lacking, and it was too late for me to figure it out since I'll never have the opportunity to compete in the UAAP," he stated.

That made me feel lonelier for him; he was right. Dahil ito na nga ang last year namin dito sa university. Mas lalo akong nanghinayang sa narinig ko sa kaniya.

I desperately wanted to console him, but I had no idea how. Do I need to tap his back? Caress it? Or perhaps give him some food?

Mukhang nakalimutan ko na kung paano ko siya lambingin dati kapag may mga ganitong down time siya. Matagal na rin kasi.

He continued, "I don't know what to do now."

"To be completely honest, Jhunel, I want you to win that game."

Napatingin siya sa akin.

"I am aware of your strong desire to play in the PBA. That was your only chance," I reasoned, and I said, "Even Anne Marie remembered the time when we visited your institution to show our support for you. We were awestruck by your playing abilities at that time and truly believed you would prevail in this match too."

But he added, "I'm sorry I disappointed the two of you." He sighed. "There will always be someone better than me."

He's most likely referring to Jhon Rey.

"Yes, that was true but would that be enough reason for you to surrender? You know what, I've heard some of our classmates were talking about you. Sabi nila kung kasing galing mo rin daw 'yong teammates mo, you'll probably win that game. Halos ikaw lang din kasi ang bumubuhat sa team niyo."

"Did they really say that?" Mukhang hindi siya kumbinsido.

"Yeah. They really admire you. You really shine when you play."

Nakita kong sumilip ang maliit na ngiti sa labi niya. Ang bilis niya namang mapaamo.

"How about you? What do you think of my skills? What do you think of me, Sheen May?"

Napatigil ako nang huminto rin siya sa paglalakad bago humarap sa akin. Pinagmasdan ko ang mukha niya.

I can see kahit papaano ay gumagaan na ang loob niya. Mukhang mas bubuti ang lagay niya kung palalakasin ko pa ang loob niya.

"Hmmm... I think, naka-chamba lang sila Jhon Rey kaya sila nanalo. I really think na mas magaling ka."

Narinig ko siyang tumawa. "Really? You're just saying that to make me feel good."

"No, I'm being honest with you. I swear." I lifted my right hand. "I told you, it was you who I wanted to win today."

"Why?" he asked while glancing at me with those giddy eyes. "Hindi ka ba masaya na nanalo si Jhon Rey?"

Napatigil ako nang mabanggit niya ang pangalan ni Jhon Rey.

"I noticed you when he fired that ball far away. You were amazed by him."

Nakita niya ako? 

"No, I was just shocked na magagawa niya 'yon; that ability is so mainstream. I know you can do it too when you have the chance," I added.

"Well, I missed the chance. Always. Lagi akong wrong timing," saad niya. "Even when it comes to you."

Silence enveloped us. Ni hindi ko rin alam ang sasabihin ko sa kaniya. Sa sandaling iyon, malinaw sa akin ang nararamdaman ko, wala na akong nararamdaman para sa kaniya. All I want for him is to be happy, kahit na we never ended being together. I now realize that I have totally moved on from him. I only see him as a friend; there is nothing beyond and behind that anymore. All I want for him is to be happy and find someone he can cherish the same way he cherishes me. I only hope there is still a way to fulfill his dream of being a national basketball player so he can live a completely happy life.

"When he pretended to collapse, I saw how much you cared about him. I came to the realization that I was no longer truly in your heart at that point. Napalitan na ako," bigkas niya. "I knew he did that in order to win against me. He is aware that seeing you two together will distract me."

I let out a breath. So that was the reason why Jhon Rey faked his collapse. I understand now. This time, he outsmarted Jhunel. How clever he was!

"So when is your wedding?" he inquired. "Am I being invited?"

Ngumiti ako, pero hindi ako nagsalita. I don't want to hurt him anymore.

I inhaled but kept quiet. I don't want to hurt him anymore.

"They say it will take place on my birthday," I simply answered.

"I see. Therefore, there is no reason for me to visit you on your birthday."

"I'm sorry," I replied.

"No. There is no reason for you to say sorry. I just wish you to be happy and content, so I won't regret abandoning you."

Sinuluyapan ko siya. Bakas sa mukha niya ang lungkot na siyang ikinukubli niya ng isang pilit na ngiti. Hinawakan ko ang braso niya.

"I hope you have happiness too, so I won't regret not choosing you," I said.

"I want you to regret it sometimes."

I gave him a look. I can tell that it hurt him a lot.

"I'm kidding, of course. I'm leaving now, so you won't see me cry. I'll see you around!"

He ran away from me.

Napabuntong-hininga ako. I hope he recovers quickly. I mean, from this heartbreak. I remember myself cursing him in the past for hurting me, and I wished he was hurt more than I felt, but now I seem to take it back. All I want now is to be happy.

I just noticed Jhunel and my conversation took a half-hour, and I suddenly remembered that Jhon Rey and I were supposed to meet. Well. Jhon Rey is not the kind of man who will wait for me. I guess he's in the room now. I'll just see him there and ask about why he wanted to meet me.

Naglakad na ako pabalik sa room, pero nagtaka ako kung bakit hindi ko nakita roon si Jhon Rey. Don't tell me; he was still waiting for me.

Nagmadali akong pumunta sa garden para hanapin si Jhon Rey, pero hindi ko siya makita. Did he really leave? Kung ganoon nasaan siya? I pouted. Of course, he'll definitely forget about our meeting too. He may be lurking out there.

I sighed. Alright, I'll try to call him and confirm if we'll still be meeting each other for whatever reason he has.

But just as I was going to call him, I saw his name flash once more on the screen. He has called me.

"Sheen May?" "Jhon Rey?"

Sabay naming pagtawag sa isa't isa. My heart beats faster because of that. Tinawag niya ako sa pangalan ko.

"Where are you?" tanong niya.

"Here in the garden. Ikaw nasaan ka?"

"Here in the cafeteria. I came here to seek you out because I was worried something had happened to you since you weren't there at the garden where we were supposed to meet a while ago." He sounds so worried.

Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko. Was he trying to find me?

"I'm sorry, nakipag-usap pa ako kay Jhunel, kaya hindi kita napuntahan agad. D'yan ka lang pupuntahan kita," sagot ko. I was about to walk when I heard him speak again.

"No, stay there. Ako ang pupunta sa 'yo."

Napalunok ako. Hindi ko alam kung matatakot ba ako sa tigas ng pagkakasabi niya but my heart, it keeps getting crazier.

"Let's meet halfway," I earnestly said.

"Alright. Let's meet halfway."

I could hear his heavy breathing on the line. He doesn't want to hang up either. I'm not sure what to think, but right now I just want to see him.

"I saw you now," rinig kong sabi niya.

Napahinto ako sa paglakad. Sinubukan ko siyang hanapin, pero hindi ko siya makita. Luminga-linga pa ako.

"I am here."

"S-saan?"

"Behind you."

Lumingon ako at sa pagkakataong iyon, nakita ko siya. Pawis na pawis at hapong-hapo.

"What happened to you?" tanong ko at doon ko naalalang galing pa nga pala siya sa basketball game tapos tumakbo siya para hanapin ako. He was still wearing his jersey. "Are you alright? Why do you need to meet with me?" I keep asking. Ibinaba ko na ang tawag at nilapitan siya.

"I just want to ask you about what makes you mad yesterday and I think I figured it out." He was still catching his breath while talking to me.

"You called me for that?"

Hindi ako makapaniwala.

"Wait, I'm running out of breathe. Hold me for a moment."

He put his head on my shoulder. I was too stunned to speak.

"Hey, you're sweating!" I rebelled. I couldn't let him discover how my heart beats so fast because of what he did, but he never moved away from me and instead gave me a hug. He seems to be waning, in my opinion.

I can hear his loud heartbeats and his heavy breaths too. I feel guilty for keeping him waiting.

"Hey, are you sure you're all right?" tanong ko dahil ilang minuto na kaming nasa ganoong kalagayan. Some of the students are looking at us, and it feels embarrassing.

"What did you two talk about that took you so long to come to see me?" he sulked.

He started to snore just as I was ready to respond. Wait, is he dozing off? Napunta sa akin ang bigat ng katawan niya. Is he sleeping for real?

"Hey, Jhon Rey, wake up."I tapped on his back, but he wasn't awakened.

"Hey!"

And there he completely collapsed on me.