My feelings deteriorated when I saw the man I forbade to come here to the wedding library standing tall before us. Jhon Rey is here, now looking at the woman beside me, who is the love of his life.

My heart shatters. He definitely conveys his unconditional affection for that woman by the way he looks at her.

I made an effort to keep myself from disintegrating. It aches, but there's nothing I can do.

Pinili ko na lang na sumama kay Miss Mina. I made an effort to concentrate on fitting other wedding dresses. I should definitely pick a gown that highlights my beauty because I at least want to be the most gorgeous on that day, even if my husband doesn't want it to be me.

"Ms. Velasco, what do you think about this one?" tanong ni Miss Mina habang nakatingin sa repleksyon ko sa malaking salamin na nakapalibot sa amin.

"A ballgown is acceptable attire for the wedding ceremony. Then, for the reception, you can wear a white dress that fits your body shape and partially exposes your back. I saw that you have a flawless and sexy back, Miss Velasco," she complimented while suggesting. Miss Mina also showed some cocktail dresses and that one dress she was talking about. I smiled. It was a white body-con dress with lace patterns. As Miss Mina mentioned, it is backless. Near the nape part, there is a sizable ribbon. Nice. Something I definitely like so far.

I smiled when I realized I'd never measured clothes like this at the mall since I was born. I never had the advantages a woman from a wealthy family would typically enjoy.

Sana magawa kong maging masaya at malaya gayong makakawala ako kay dad. I'll do whatever I want. I'll be free from his sight and opinion. I'll make my own decisions.

I guess that is the benefit, na makukuha ko ngayong ikakasal ako kay Jhon Rey. Somehow, I feel happy about it.

I took the dress that Miss Mina was talking about earlier. It really is so pretty and compliments my body. I hope my baby bump will not be visible the day I wear this.

Pareho kaming napangiti ni Miss Mina dahil sa wakas, almost three hours yata kaming nagsusukat at nagpapapalit palit ng damit para lang makahanap ng magugustuhan kong damit. Even if I'm not that fussy about what to wear, there are some dresses that I don't get along with, so I really need to find the one for me.

Lumabas na ako pagkatapos kong magpasalamat sa pag-alalay sa akin ni Miss Mina. She also suggests that I return for another fitting there since they promise to alter the dresses so that they suit me well.

Anyhow, I enjoyed the fitting. I can't wait to finally wear those dresses.

"Are you done?"

Halos mapatalon ako sa gulat nang makita ko si Jhon Rey na papalapit sa akin. But I couldn't smile at him or greet him because of what I'd seen earlier. Mukhang pinalayas niya na naman si Derrick at siya ang maghahatid sa akin pauwi kaya narito pa siya, pero hindi ko gustong sumama sa kaniya kaya tatawagan ko si Derrick para sunduin ako kung sakaling hindi pa siya nakakalayo.

I responded by nodding and avoiding his gaze.

"Akala ko patapos ka na, that's what you told me. Were you lying?" he presumed.

"Yeah," I admitted.

Jhon Rey asked, scowling, "Why?"

"No specific reason," I said. "I just don't want to see your face," I added, still not looking at him. We were in the lobby, and some attendees were looking at us.

He held my arm and asked again, "What did I do? You appeared upset with me."

Umiling ako at ipinagpatuloy lang ang paglalakad palabas ng wedding libary. I heard some attendees say goodbye to us.

"Why are you acting this way?" He chases me again. "What did I do that made you mad at me? Please tell me."

Pero hindi ako nagsalita. Ano nga bang idadahilan ko kung bakit ako nagkakaganito? Matatanggap niya ba kung sasabihin kong nagseselos ako o pagtatawanan niya lang ako?

"Kung hindi mo sasabihin sa akin, hindi ko malalaman," saad niya.

I grimaced. Hindi ba talaga siya aware sa ginawa niya o talaga lang wala akong halaga sa kaniya kaya hindi niya alam na nasasaktan ako?

Nakakainis kasi wala naman akong karapatang makaramdam ng selos pero nanunuot sa buto ko ang inggit sa kanilang dalawa kanina. I could feel the two of them talking with those eyes without mouthing a word.

They stared at each other like they already knew their smiles' hidden meaning as if telling each other to be patient because they'd be married sooner.

Those sweet smiles I couldn't forget. It's as if they never split up. It tears me apart. If only I could escape from this predicament, I have already.

"I just don't want to see your face," I blunted.

"Wow. How cold."

Tinawagan ko si Derrick at tinanong kung nasaan siya para naman masundo niya na ako.

"If you genuinely don't want to see my face, then. I'm leaving now." He turned his back on me.

Derrick answered the call, but I wasn't paying attention because Jhon Rey was all I could focus on as he made his way to his car.

Napabuntong-hininga ako. Tuluyan na siyang umalis.

Ilang sandali lang ay dumating na rin si Derrick. Sumakay na ako roon. Panay ang tingin sa akin ni Derrick na para bang gusto niyang makiusyoso sa kung anong meron sa amin ni Jhon Rey. Nagtataka siguro siya kung bakit sa kaniya ako sumabay at hindi sa future husband ko.

Once more, I sighed. Remembering this foolish act of mine.

Bakit pa kasi siya pumunta roon kahit sinabi kong huwag na?

Kinabukasan, pumasok na ako sa klase. Agad naman akong sinalubong ni Anne na para bang may ibabalita siya sa aking mahalaga.

"Ready ka na ba?" tanong niya.

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Saan?"

"Maglalaro ang boys ngayon."

"Ng?"

"Ng basketball. Have you forgotten?"

Napa-ah na lang ako. Tanda ko ngang nag-announce si prof na may basketball game ang boys. Muli ko na namang naalala ang game namin noon na matagal ko nang kinalimutan. Ang unfair kasi, bukod sa hindi kami marunong maglaro, ang mga kalaban pa namin ay malalaking babae na varsity players. Talo talaga kami ro'n! The game was so unfair! I bet our professor really made fun of us. That's why he let us be in a weak team versus a stronger one, so he can have a funny thing to laugh about.

However, the professor emphasized that knowing the regulations is crucial so it was fine even if we don't know how to play physically because some things are not meant to be, that's what he precisely said that I never understood even until now.

Ilang sandali lang ay dumating na si prof at sinabihan lang kami na magkita sa gymnasium hall after fifteen minutes. Nagpalit na kami ni Anne Marie ng uniform sa locker room bago kami sabay na naglakad papunta sa gym.

"All of a sudden, I recalled that we had previously visited Jhunel's school to cheer him on during a game," she says. "He shines when he plays, which is why everyone is yelling and cheering for him," stated Anne.

Napangiti ako. "Yeah, I remember it too," sagot ko. "Jhunel participated on his school's varsity team when we started dating. That's why I force you to come with me to cheer him on. That is also one of the reasons I questioned why he suddenly transferred here, given how well-established his reputation was at his previous school."

"Bakit nga raw ba siya lumipat? Was it really for you?" Anne Marie glanced at me, waiting for my assurance.

"Who knows?" tanong ko.

I just realized we have arrived at the gym. The men were fully decked out in their uniforms, just like actual basketball players would be. Their eagerness to play and flaunt their skills is evident in their eyes.

Then I saw Jhunel energetically talking to his teammates. In contrast, with that dismal countenance, Jhon Rey was near the end of the bench. What's wrong with him?

Aren't he happy because he saw his ex yesterday? I rolled my eyes.

Naupo na kaming mga girls sa kabilang bench para panoorin sila. Kita ko ang mga babaeng nag-aayos para lang magpa-cute sa mga boys. Halata sa mga mukha nila ang kasabikang makita ang mga kaklase naming maglalaro. May mga ibang students din from other colleges na naki-join as audience. Parang hindi na lang 'to basta game sa p.e. ah, it feels like it was battle between life and death.

Natawa naman ako nang maglabas ng banner ang mga kaklase ko. Wait, may teams na ba?

"Alright, class. Assemble. Today's game needs to be fair. Given that we will be competing in the University Athletic Association of the Philippines (UAAP), whoever prevails in this game will undoubtedly get the opportunity to train with our university athletes."

Napanganga ako. That was Jhunel's all time dream. Makatapak man lang sa UAAP. I recall that his greatest desire was to join the PBA. He now has the opportunity. I wish him success today.

"Please occupy my right side, red team. On my left is the blue team."

Doon ko lang napansin na magkaiba ng kulay ng jersey si Jhunel at si Jhon Rey. So they are competing with one another?

"Magkalaban 'yong ex-boyfriend mo and your future husband," bulong sa akin ni Anne. "Sinong gusto mong manalo?"

She regarded me as though my response to his query was worth a million dollars.

I looked at the players, now the center attraction of everybody.

"Since this is Jhunel's dream, I'll be honest and say I want him to win. The very least I can do for him is to wish him well, at least."

Tumango-tango siya. "How about your future husband? You don't care about him losing this game?" tanong niya.

Muli ay napatingin ako kay Jhon Rey. Iba talaga ang pagka-gloomy niya ngayong araw. Parang wala siya sa tamang kondisyon para maglaro. What's his problem? It looks like he's looking for something and needs to be at ease.

Tsk. I know he can do better at this sport. After all, he was so athletic and once taught me to play this game.

Pumito na si prof hudyat na simula na ang laban. Unang nakakuha ng bola si Jhunel at walang isang minutong na-shoot niya 'yon.

Everybody screamed Jhunel's name when he shot another point. He'll definitely ace this game. He's a varsity player, after all.

A significant gap was in favor of Jhunel's team, and it feels boring to watch now since we can easily predict who will win this time and get the chance to train in the UAAP.

But I was surprised and never predicted what would happen the next second of the game. Napatayo ako sa gulat nang bumagsak si Jhon Rey sa sahig. Wala sa wisyo akong tumakbo papunta sa kaniya na puno ng pag-aalala. Wala siyang malay.

"H-hey! Wake up! What's wrong?" I shouted as I tried to shake his shoulders to wake him up. Sinubukan ko ring pakinggan ang tibok ng puso niya sa dibdib pati na rin ang paghinga.

"How warm."

I was stunned when I heard him speak.

"I've been looking for you. I never thought this was the quickest way to find you."