I ran back to my room and grabbed a flashlight. When I did so, I went back to the chute to observe what had happened. It was upright, but the bottom of the bag was slumped and leaking a red liquid.

Either those teenagers wanted their prank to be realistic, or I had helped dispose of evidence.

I ran back to my apartment and dialed 911. Here's how the conversation went:

Operator: "911, what's your emergency?"

Me: "Hello, I would like to report a body sighting at--"

Suddenly, a bell-like jingling could be heard over both ends of the line, growing louder as time went on.

Operator: "Ouch! Is this a prank?"

Me: "No, I promise it's not!"

Eventually, the ringing got so loud that we couldn't hear each other, so I apologized (even though the operator couldn't hear me) and hung up. A few minutes after I did, I got a new notification from Mr. Jingles.

"Calling for help services won't useful. I was disabled all the police cars! You cannot win. Hehee!

Enjoy my presence!

Mr. Jingles 🔔"

I couldn't believe it. He tricked me into hiding a body! I decided to try and process this all with some revitalizing 50s sitcoms. When I feel troubled, I love to sit down and watch some old sitcoms. There's a whole channel for shows like that. I was in the middle of watching an episode of "Leave it to Beaver", when an emergency alert popped up. That sure got the adrenaline pumping. It said a person named Lee Howard was reported as missing two days ago and was last seen working at a local grocery store. My sitcom resumed about a minute later.

I started thinking. Was it a different person reported missing? There was only one way to find out.

I made the (probably ill-advised) decision of going downstairs to the dumpster. After a bit of searching, I found the bag. The formerly red stain was now brown, so I now knew it was not some sort of red dye. I opened the bag. It was indeed a corpse. I pulled it out to look at the name tag.

"Lee"

I dropped the body out of shock. I had actually found a missing body...and I couldn't do anything about it. I put the body back into the dumpster and went to the downstairs bathroom to wash my hands. Then I went back up to my apartment and fell asleep watching more of my sitcoms.