"I can't do this, not anymore."

He sighed, pushing his hair back. I shift  my head in his direction.

"What are you talking about?"

I sit up from his bed, naked while holding onto the bed sheets.

"Elena, you are everything. But this? What we have? I'm tired of it."

I feel my eyes burn.

"Are you not kinky anymore? Is that it?"

He shakes his head immediately.

"God no, of course I'm still kinky. I just.. You can't please me the way you did in the beginning of our relationship. You are beautiful, kind, and compassionate. And I'm sure one day you will find another, but for now, it's over. You and I."

He pushed away his sheets, standing up. He pulls on his boxers.

"Elena, take all the time you need. You're graduating in a few weeks so we won't be contacting each other anytime soon after that. I do wish you the best, Rodriguez. Thank you for giving me this experience."

He points to the door, I feel a tear escape my eye. I quickly wipe it away, nodding. I clothed myself, and laced my shoes up, opening his bedroom door. I left, and this time, for good.

______________________________

      It was as if the world had stopped, that time stood still, and I just didn't exist. In that moment I couldn't comprehend what was taking place at that time. So I took a few deep breaths, gathering my thoughts to get in my right mind. I took a last glance at him, admiring his looks, my heartbeat slowing down. Everything felt like it was in slow motion, he had this feeling being shown in his eyes.

     I saw it briefly as I stood at his doorway, waving goodbye. It shined ever so brightly at me, that feeling was relief. He couldn't have been more thrilled to have me gone, which, no lie, hurt. Because I was the poor submissive that fell for the dominant that couldn't love. The dominant that couldn't tolerate this kind of relationship, too much vanilla.

     And there I was, crying inside my BMW, hoping i'd pull myself together soon. And I did. Thank you, Mr.Grey. For letting me love you.

                                          xx  
                                                        Elena R.
 
______________________________

         I close my journal, tucking in my pen on the side of it. I grab my empty coffee cup, throwing it inside a trash bin, while walking to the exit. I open the door, the smell of coffee beans soon being replaced by the rain of Seattle, Washington.